Trying to figure it out

[zagjames]

I have been dating a woman for almost 2 years. Marriage has began to be a real possibility. We have talked about it, we have talked about being married in a 2 years or something like that.

At the same time, I still have times when I feel an attraction to the priesthood. I am friends with several seminarians at my college. From time to time they have brought up the idea of me becoming a priest, and joining them across the street. Whenever I get into a discussion on theology, and doctrine with a Priest it seems like they whoever it is asks me if I have considered the priesthood. I feel like I am called to be a priest.

At the same time, one of my strongest disires is to be married and have children. I thought I had settled this issue, and had made my mind, but I feel the call coming back. It is very dificult. I suppose I will get a spiritual director. I am worried that I am hiding from my vocation, but at the same time I wonder if it is a real vocation. If I am called to both… which doesnt work in the Roman Rite of the Catholic Church. I definetly feel a strong love for the byzantine traditions, but I also have a strong love for latin and the traditional portion of the Latin rite.

Advice?

 

[Cavaille-Coll]

The most important thing that will help you to discern God’s will for your life is to pray before the Blessed Sacrament daily if possible. Allow a time for silence in your life – this was very helpful in my own vocation. You’ll need to find a good spiritual director to help you in your discernment. If you should decide to look at a priestly vocation, seminary will give you several years of further discernment before you are required to make a commitment. There are many Roman Rite priests who have bi-ritual faculties with an Eastern Rite, and of course, a Roman Rite priest may celebrate the Tridentine Mass if he chooses and if he is able. In many Eastern Rites that allow married priests, they don’t follow that custom in the United States.

 

[puzzleannie]

quite frankly once you have been dating for a year or mre and start “thinking about marriage” either you make plans to marry asap, or you are not really serious, and need to explore the underlying reasons why.

 

[m134e5]

I have been dating a woman for almost 2 years. Marriage has began to be a real possibility. We have talked about it, we have talked about being married in a 2 years or something like that.

At the same time, I still have times when I feel an attraction to the priesthood. I am friends with several seminarians at my college. From time to time they have brought up the idea of me becoming a priest, and joining them across the street. Whenever I get into a discussion on theology, and doctrine with a Priest it seems like they whoever it is asks me if I have considered the priesthood. I feel like I am called to be a priest.

At the same time, one of my strongest disires is to be married and have children. I thought I had settled this issue, and had made my mind, but I feel the call coming back. It is very dificult. I suppose I will get a spiritual director. I am worried that I am hiding from my vocation, but at the same time I wonder if it is a real vocation. If I am called to both… which doesnt work in the Roman Rite of the Catholic Church. I definetly feel a strong love for the byzantine traditions, but I also have a strong love for latin and the traditional portion of the Latin rite.

Advice?

Sometimes what we wants isn’t what God wants. Marriage has its rewards and sacrifices. The priesthood also has its rewards and sacrifices. There are rewards and sacrifices that both vocations have in common, and sometimes in one vocation a sacrifice is a reward of the other vocation. If you carefully and prayerfully discern your vocation, you won’t be disappointed. We need priests- desperately. We also desperately need men to step up and be good husbands and fathers. It’s a tough call, and one only you can decide. God calls each of us to something- be it the priesthood, the consecrated life, marriage, or to be a single layman. We must grow closer to God, and always be asking what He wants of us. I suggest you talk to a spiritual director.

 

[vocatio]

I consider myself an expert at this . I too was called to the priesthood and went to the seminary. So far most every response is applicable. BUT, I want to interject, one of the reasons I was initially attracted to the Eastern Orthodox Church on my journey home is tied into one main bad experience that I won’t go into now. I believe had I not stumbled into that situation I would most likely be a priest today, knowing that there is a sacrifice no matter which vocation you choose, even if you were able to do both.

You see, there is a good reason the Latin rite hangs onto celibacy as a discipline. It’s is very possible to feel called to both. The roles in a sense should be interchangable. All men are called to be spiritual fathers to to others. Too deep to get into right now. But it’s true. Just as all women are called to be spiritual mothers to others. I most despirately want to become a priest and could have several times along my journey but chose to do the more “noble” thing, stick to avoiding sacandal. Only I fell into scandal inadvertently by being proselytized into another faith. I knew Catholic teaching but didn’t know anyone really following it. Please don’t become one of those priests that can’t make up their mind what they want to be if you choose the priesthood [just a thought].

More over, and I’m sorry if this is offensive - it’s not meant to be - IF engaged in pre-marrital relations…STOP immediately. Even if you are thinking about the vocation in marriage you should be chaste. Chastity is even difficult in marriage. Temptations are always there to lure you away from your spouse, children and family. If you became a married man and then allowed to receive the sacrament of ordination to the priesthood, you would still encounter many obsticles that would truly get in the way of you become great at either one of those vocations as in the Eastern rite. I’ve already inquired into the possiblity of becoming Eastern Catholic because for me I truly love the Eastern rite even more than the Latin rite. But I realize that for my family’s sake I will remain in the Latin rite…but would jump to east if my family became open. That means, I would practice the Eastern rite for a minimum of 3 years, then look into the diaconate, and probably never be able to become a priest. I’m not interested in going against the bishops in the western rite. I truly do love the Orthodox / Eastern Catholic Liturgy. It’s what helped draw me back to the Church.

I have preacher friends and family and trust me mixing it doesn’t work well. You have to give 100% to both and it would truthfully drain you and you’d end up in marrigae counciling quicker than you realize. Women, and justifiably, need attention just like parishoners need attention. You would no doubt run into conflicts that would end up in arguements at home. If you do your domestic church vocation well you’d find yourself with little to no time for parishoners. It’s not a job. It’s a 24/7 journey no matter which direction you go. It’s exhausting just for one.

However, hope in discerning the diaconate would actually fill the hole if you still called. Sure it’s a different vocation, but the involvement may be what you need. Teach RCIA, etc. so many things to do now. What ever you choose, you really don’t have a choice as long as the discipline in the west is held up. Prayer and adoration will help but likely draw you closer to the priesthood. Temptations never stop, even now as an older man, women still show attention to me in inappropriate ways that I have to avoid but be charitable at the same time. I think its sanctifying grace that they are attracted to…don’t know. Because if I were a woman the last person I’d be attracted to is me…

You really need to either talk about marriage to your GF or get out of the relationship. The longer it goes on the more likely you’re engaged in some kind of temptation to break chastity. Remember, it isn’t only you, you have to think about others too. Pray for me, I am discerning a vocation to the diaconate. Patience is a virtue…believe you me shah - as they say in Louisiana.