Trying to get marriage convalidated

[Firechick0618]

Hey so for lent I’m trying to come back to the catholic faith. Long story short I stopped going to mass 3 years ago because my now husband and i married civilly, but had every intention on getting it blessed by the church
The priest told us to wait years and said it wasnt nessasary to have our child baptized as he already is a child of God. Another coupled married in the church after knowing eachother for 3 months. I know for a fact they had married due to them being pregnant .having had this conversation with the priest it was very hurtful and felt we were being rejected by the church.
How should I approach coming back to the faith and getting over the feeling of rejecting by god and his church?

 

[Wesrock]

I don’t understand the advice you’re saying came from the priest. He may not want to baptize the child until he’s confident the child will be raised Catholic, but why would he tell you to wait years before convalidating the marriage? Is there more to this?

 

[Firechick0618]

He wanted us to have years of an engagement period which doesnt make sense since we knew eachother awhile before marrying.
And with the baptism he said it was more of a ritual than anything

 

[Fraevo63]

I would seek out a different parish and a different priest asap. Baptism is not just a “ritual”.

 

[Vico]

Hey so for lent I’m trying to come back to the catholic faith. Long story short I stopped going to mass 3 years ago because my now husband and i married civilly, but had every intention on getting it blessed by the church
The priest told us to wait years and said it wasnt nessasary to have our child baptized as he already is a child of God. Another coupled married in the church after knowing eachother for 3 months. I know for a fact they had married due to them being pregnant .having had this conversation with the priest it was very hurtful and felt we were being rejected by the church.
How should I approach coming back to the faith and getting over the feeling of rejecting by god and his church?

Unless it is a radical sanation, the convalidation is a new marriage (that is, new consent is given), and with either there are many affidavits to comple,e such as for freedom to marry, just as a normal marriage. There may need to be marriage preparation studies.

 

[TheLittleLady]

I am sorry you were hurt. Please, do not imagine that all priests nor all Catholics are perfect, but we are also by and large compassionate people.

Simply visit your Diocese webpage, search for “convalidation” and follow what they advise. You could also make an appointment with your pastor (I hope this is a new pastor!)

 

[Sbee0]

He wanted us to have years of an engagement period which doesnt make sense since we knew eachother awhile before marrying.
And with the baptism he said it was more of a ritual than anything

Maybe it’s just me but the fact a Catholic priest would say that about baptism seems a bit off…

 

[Tis_Bearself]

I’m sorry you got a priest who gave you bad advice. Please find a better priest ASAP and speak to him. If the one you mentioned said anything even close to what you posted here, he needs to go back to seminary for some remedial training.

 

[C.Ray]

Find a new priest.

 

[TomH1]

If the priest said what you reported I would go to a different priest. To say a child does not require baptism is just unacceptable.

Without knowing the details* people cannot comment on your convalidation. Unless there is some unresolved issue it should not take years.

*I am simply saying we lack the details, but that does not mean you should provide them. Indeed, you should not.

 

[afvasque]

er couple

First of all, I am happy to hear that you are coming back! From a lay person, I think you need to do an Evaluation of Conscience and confession if you have not done so. Come to mass but DO NOT take Communion, for your own sake. I myself went through successful marriage convalidation with my spouse, who is still currently an evangelical protestant. I can personally tell you that: One, you need to come back to the church fully yourself. It took me upwards of 24 months. I hope that this does NOT sound discouraging as it is time that you will spend getting your life back Our Lord’s domain. If His will is that this takes you 2 years or more, it is His will, not yours.

I have a couple of questions. Have you gone through confirmation? If not, that is the first thing you need to do (or convalidate as well? idk, find another priest and ask.) I had to go through this and it took upwards of 12 months. This takes time and it is SO worth it! With regards to your child, please ask another priest as well to confirm, but as long as your kid was baptized with the explicit formula (regardless of whether it was in a Catholic Church or done by a priest) of The Name of The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit, he does not need to be baptized again. The same applies to your husband if he is a Christian. If your husband is a Catholic, he needs confirmation.

Once that is the case, you will have to go through marriage preparation. My wife and I had a course dictated by a couple whose wife was always a Catholic and the husband converted to Catholic with given time. That took 6-7 months.

Please talk to a priest. Go back to church, pray. Fill your life with Him and you will be good regardless of the time frame. YouTube: Steve Ray and you will see how the decision of coming back is the best you could have ever taken. Pray for my wife to come to The One and Real Church.

Regards!