Trying to keep myself afloat

[Qwerty1985]

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

I am a newly baptised Catholic (I accepted Christ this year), and it seems that I would need some of your prayers to help me tide this difficult moment. Just this year, my working life started to spiral downwards. Not only did I found very exhausting to get my work done, I was also ostracised by my colleagues. While I tried to keep myself cheery, but it took a toil on me and eventually I landed up inadvertently offending my colleagues one by one.

Just earlier this week, I received a notification where there will be a restructuring to my team, which will see me having reduced workloads and involvement in major projects. I was devastated emotionally, and out of grief I took two days of medical leave. And when I turned for social support emotionally, all I got was “GET OVER IT”.

During these two days of leave, I sorted out my thoughts and reflected that whatever I have done, and I have to admit that I have a part to play. But nevertheless, I am getting so discouraged by whatever that has came to me that I have no one to turn to. I recited the rosary, begged God and our Mother for help, but I can’t help but to feel discouraged.

I am still struggling to keep my spirits high, and I am praying if I should be keeping my job or to resign from it, but I can’t find any answers to it.

May I beseech for your prayers to keep me lifted during this moment of sorrow?

 

[tafan]

Ok, here is my advice.

Keep praying. Work on being virtuous at work, all the time. Go into work, be cheerful to everyone, and work hard. Don’t spend time during the day shooting to bull with others. Never complain. Be kind to all co workers. Do the absolute best job you can do, regardless of the assignment. Offer any adversity up to God for the poor souls in purgatory. Don’t make a big deal out of all of this to your co-workers. Just change for the better and let them realize it. Have one (and only one) conversation with your boss about your situation. Do not complain about your new assignment, tell him how you plan on staying focused, working hard, and changing your attitude. Only ask him for the chance and to let you know periodically how he feels you are doing. After let, let your actions speak for themselves. And NEVER take personal time off again, unless you have a serious reason.

Do not let yourself be preoccupied, in anyway, with thoughts about how it is all unfair. Life is not always fair, blame it on Adam and Eve.

As to finding a new job, that is always an option and there is nothing wrong with it. One can certainly pigeon hole oneself at a current company and never be given the chance to work out of it. But if you want to explore other employment, do that completely in parallel to the above. Go about your job as if it is what your long term career is going to be. Make that assumption. Do your resume and job searching at home. If you have to go for an interview, then take the time off work for that. Do not tell your boss or anyone you are looking for other employment.

You want an answer from God as to what to do: meet Him half way. Do your part and the opportunity, either at your existing company or at a new company, will present itself.

 

[the_phoenix]

Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death.
Amen.

 

[Cricket2]

Of course no one can tell you what to do, in terms of your employment. I have found, for myself, that when a job starts to get “out of hand” it can sometimes mean it is time to move on. Of course this requires prayerful thought and even some discussion with a good confessor. He can always help weed out inner issues that may be contributing to job woes.

One of my last jobs required that I was at work literally everyday for two years. I had little if any sleep, worked an average of 18 hours a day. That in itself is enough to drive one away, but I kept sticking it out just in case I was simply being tested by God in terms of my dedication, etc. In the midst of all this however, my supervisors where starting to ask me to do things to employees and clients that I found unfair and immoral.

These things included creating split shifts, so people had to work 4 hours in the morning and then return at night for another 4 hours; teaching disabled adults with the mental capacity of 5 -8 year olds how to use birth control or get a prostitute because it “was their right to be sexually active if they wanted.” This was the of course the deal breaker. I quit on the spot.

So you see, it is a good idea to review objectively what is happening at work, is there immoral activity being encouraged or ignored, are you being asked to do things contrary to your faith, do you dread going to your job, etc??? Discuss this with a confessor or someone who can help you be objective about it. If things lean heavily toward leaving for moral reasons and principals you will know and you will have your answer.

 

[Anglewannabe]

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

I am a newly baptised Catholic (I accepted Christ this year), and it seems that I would need some of your prayers to help me tide this difficult moment. Just this year, my working life started to spiral downwards.

It is really normal to think that once one has accepted Jesus and been baptized, life should get better. However, our definition of ‘better’ and God’s are totally different. Do not loose faith, keep praying as you. Your devotion to prayer life is awesome

Not only did I found very exhausting to get my work done, I was also ostracised by my colleagues. While I tried to keep myself cheery, but it took a toil on me and eventually I landed up inadvertently offending my colleagues one by one.

This is hard to comment on. Why were you ostracised? Perhaps they had family problems you don’t know of and are unaware they were ostracizing you? Did their work load increase and they had less time to socialize? Just make sure you are taking something personally that isn’t. As for inadvertently offending them… all you can do is change your behaviour on a go forward basis. However again without knowing the details, perhaps they were over critical of you

Just earlier this week, I received a notification where there will be a restructuring to my team, which will see me having reduced workloads and involvement in major projects. I was devastated emotionally, and out of grief I took two days of medical leave.

I don’t mean to minimize your pain, but most places I ever worked being asked to work on a project was a compliment. It meant you had the talent to do more than just repetitive tasks. Perhaps were you are it is different. If possible, please explain why this is a bad thing

And when I turned for social support emotionally, all I got was “GET OVER IT”.

During these two days of leave, I sorted out my thoughts and reflected that whatever I have done, and I have to admit that I have a part to play. But nevertheless, I am getting so discouraged by whatever that has came to me that I have no one to turn to. I recited the rosary, begged God and our Mother for help, but I can’t help but to feel discouraged.

I am still struggling to keep my spirits high, and I am praying if I should be keeping my job or to resign from it, but I can’t find any answers to it.

May I beseech for your prayers to keep me lifted during this moment of sorrow?

Career is a soft spot for me as well (check out my posts ) so I relate to no one understanding. Lately, I just go to adoration and write in my diary about career struggles. Oddly, whenever I am having a bad day at work, the moment I say to myself 'I think I will go to adoration tonight and pray to God about this, my mood improves.

Yes, you have my prayers

Angie

 

[PHILTHEO]

Oh man… I can relate in some ways for sure…

To be honest, it sounds like you work in one of two fields I know very well: Accounting or Engineering.

-The first thing you need to do is is start LOOKING for a job. Don’t quit until you have one or someone to take care of you, but start looking. It sounds like you are in a high skill position, so it shouldn’t be too hard, and it can’t hurt. You’ll find that when you see other pathways as viable you will place less focus on your current job and stress will decline.

-If you get a new job quit right away You are in a toxic environment. I was in one before. It stank royally. My boss was an ‘ideas’ man only and had lost his practical skill base and I hated to work with him. My job was boring to me and I really didn’t like some of my coworkers so I left. I love where I am now so much I can scarcely believe how much things have changed in the last few years. I wake up happy and I go to sleep in anticipation of the next day most of the time.

The bottom line is this: If you could learn to accept the very complicated and often confusing Philosophy and Theology of the Catholic Church without being a cradle Catholic, I know you can handle a job change. It is a much smaller deal.

In summation: Resign, but only do so when you have an alternative.

 

[Qwerty1985]

Oh man… I can relate in some ways for sure…

To be honest, it sounds like you work in one of two fields I know very well: Accounting or Engineering.

-The first thing you need to do is is start LOOKING for a job. Don’t quit until you have one or someone to take care of you, but start looking. It sounds like you are in a high skill position, so it shouldn’t be too hard, and it can’t hurt. You’ll find that when you see other pathways as viable you will place less focus on your current job and stress will decline.

-If you get a new job quit right away You are in a toxic environment. I was in one before. It stank royally. My boss was an ‘ideas’ man only and had lost his practical skill base and I hated to work with him. My job was boring to me and I really didn’t like some of my coworkers so I left. I love where I am now so much I can scarcely believe how much things have changed in the last few years. I wake up happy and I go to sleep in anticipation of the next day most of the time.

The bottom line is this: If you could learn to accept the very complicated and often confusing Philosophy and Theology of the Catholic Church without being a cradle Catholic, I know you can handle a job change. It is a much smaller deal.

In summation: Resign, but only do so when you have an alternative.

Hi PHILTEOH, thank you.

Actually, I am working as a Corporate Communications staff in a non-profit organisation. Honestly, I am torn between staying and leaving, all because this position didn’t came easy for me when I once applied for it.

Right now, I am trying to look for a new job, but it seems that the future looks bleak for me at the moment. I’ve sent countless resumes, and went through numerous interview but only to receive an offer, which I declined due to differences in the way the company is being managed.

While I am so tempted to give up, but again I am trying to remind myself all the time that there are so many learning points in this episode.

 

[Qwerty1985]

Hi Angie,

Thank you for your replies

This is hard to comment on. Why were you ostracised? Perhaps they had family problems you don’t know of and are unaware they were ostracizing you? Did their work load increase and they had less time to socialize? Just make sure you are taking something personally that isn’t. As for inadvertently offending them… all you can do is change your behaviour on a go forward basis. However again without knowing the details, perhaps they were over critical of you

Hrm, all I knew it started with me not able to manage my emotions when I spoke to my director. The moment when she said “You sounded flustered”, it became a turning point. And I knew next she decided I was not the right person to get projects done.

I don’t mean to minimize your pain, but most places I ever worked being asked to work on a project was a compliment. It meant you had the talent to do more than just repetitive tasks. Perhaps were you are it is different. If possible, please explain why this is a bad thing

Well, the irony was that my Director saw my potential and decided to get me to do major projects, on top my usual administration tasks. While initially everything was well, but eventually the administrative portion got a bit too much. So, while I voice out my concerns about the increasing workload on the administration side, my colleagues said I wasn’t proactive and not trying hard enough. Not trying to lament or complain, but wow, imagine my frustration when they said those.

Career is a soft spot for me as well (check out my posts ) so I relate to no one understanding. Lately, I just go to adoration and write in my diary about career struggles. Oddly, whenever I am having a bad day at work, the moment I say to myself 'I think I will go to adoration tonight and pray to God about this, my mood improves.

Took some time off to visit my church for weekday Mass and visiting the adoration room for silent prayers. As you have said, my mood lifted.

Yes, you have my prayers

Thank you

 

[Qwerty1985]

Dear everyone,

Thank you so much for your replies and prayers.

Tefan was right about their opinion on my current situation - what I need to do now is to stop harming myself by not taking excessive leaves, staying focused and look for alternatives elsewhere.

To answer Cricket2, generally though there are no immoral acts going around in the office, I am disheartened that my Director prefers to work closely with those whom she favours. It hurts me a lot because no matter what I have done professionally, she will always say, “it’s never enough”.

I am now keeping my prayers on to at least get a freelance job for the moment, because I’ve been working for the past two years without much needed break. And I was thinking, perhaps it’s time to slow things down, devote some time to do work while finding time to indulge in wholesome activities that will draw me closer to God (such as attending weekday masses).

God bless all, and please continue to keep me in your prayers.

Sincerely yours.