Tubal Litigation

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Becca3

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I am worried about something here. This happened years before I met my fiance who is an obedient Catholic. He knows about this. I always tell him the truth. Anyways, I had two children out of wedlock. I was young and so naive. Didn’t know any better. I had the tubal litigation after my second child was born cuz my family wanted me to. Again, like I said, I was young. Now after reading about being “open to new life” in the forum amongst some threads and also in the Catechism recently, I felt such guilt and such sorrow over my decision not to have kids anymore that I cried so so hard and asked for God’s forgiveness. Right when I did that, my stomach started to hurt and cramp up. I couldn’t understand that. But I felt little peace over it.

Oh, why did I listen to my family! I realised some of you will still say it was still my decision and I made it. Yes, true. But as you all know very well how powerful an influence your family can be in your lives especially when you are young and naive. I am crying now. Cuz I know the tubal can’t be reversed. The ob/gyn did it in a way that it can’t be surgically undone.

Now I am wondering if I can be forgiven, absolved of this sin?? Or was it a sin when I had the influence of family interfering in my life?? Was it a mortal sin? Or was it venial?? I am confused and need answers and peace over this painful subject.
 
In order for a sin to be mortal there are three requirements:
  1. Grave matter
  2. Full knowledge that it is a grave matter at the time you do it
  3. Full consent of will to commit the act
Tubal litigation is a grave matter, however, requirement 2 and 3 can only be known by you. You absolutely can be absolved of this sin. And lastly, the Church does not require you to reverse the procedure, even if it was possible.

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=22841
 
Yes!

You can be forgiven!

Continue with contrition – out of love for God above all. And intend to go to confession as soon as you can (I understand your not yet Catholic…the Priest can discuss with you when you can go to confession…talk with him)

(now of course if there was something lacking and it was not a mortal sin (grave sin) then one can still confess it but note that one did not realize etc)

Jesus of Nazareth loves you!

(As to the possibility of repair – one can contact the Paul VI institute - there may be a possibility of repair that other doctors do know or can not do --not that one necessarily mus seek such in order to repent-- for such involves surgeries…and various pain etc. )
 
Bookcat said:
Yes!

You can be forgiven!

Continue with contrition – out of love for God above all. And intend to go to confession as soon as you can (I understand your not yet Catholic…the Priest can discuss with you when you can go to confession…talk with him)

(now of course if there was something lacking and it was not a mortal sin (grave sin) then one can still confess it but note that one did not realize etc)

Jesus of Nazareth loves you!

(As to the possibility of repair – one can contact the Paul VI institute - there may be a possibility of repair that other doctors do know or can not do --not that one necessarily mus seek such in order to repent for such is surgeries.)
Click to expand...
Thank you! I feel so much better now that I know I can be forgiven and absolved of this sin. But can you provide me the link to the Paul VI Institute?? I don’t know if I will go down that route yet. My age might be a deciding factor. A little old (in my mid-40s) to be having kids now. And the cost of repairing it might be another deciding factor as well.
 
The fact that you are sorry for this shows that your contrition is true. God wants to forgive you. If you haven’t been to confession over this, then go, and put it behind you. Also in the future would you be open to consider adopting children?
 
Becca3 said:
Thank you! I feel so much better now that I know I can be forgiven and absolved of this sin. But can you provide me the link to the Paul VI Institute?? I don’t know if I will go down that route yet. My age might be a deciding factor. A little old (in my mid-40s) to be having kids now. And the cost of repairing it might be another deciding factor as well.
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popepaulvi.com/

And do not wait til you can goto confession- pray for the grace of perfect contrition (out of love of God) and make an act of such. (note that one can have other “lesser” motives present)

Catechism:

1452 When it arises from a love by which God is loved above all else, contrition is called “perfect” (contrition of charity). Such contrition remits venial sins; it also obtains forgiveness of mortal sins if it includes the firm resolution to have recourse to sacramental confession as soon as possible.51
 
My fiance and I talked about having kids. He and I would be open to adoption. So, yes, adoption would work too.
 
Jesus forgives all sins. If Hitler asked for forgiveness before he died then he would have been given it. You will be forgiven if you ask for it. God wants you to ask for forgiveness as well.
 
Becca3 said:
I am worried about something here. This happened years before I met my fiance who is an obedient Catholic. He knows about this. I always tell him the truth. Anyways, I had two children out of wedlock. I was young and so naive. Didn’t know any better. I had the tubal litigation after my second child was born cuz my family wanted me to. Again, like I said, I was young. Now after reading about being “open to new life” in the forum amongst some threads and also in the Catechism recently, I felt such guilt and such sorrow over my decision not to have kids anymore that I cried so so hard and asked for God’s forgiveness. Right when I did that, my stomach started to hurt and cramp up. I couldn’t understand that. But I felt little peace over it.

Oh, why did I listen to my family! I realised some of you will still say it was still my decision and I made it. Yes, true. But as you all know very well how powerful an influence your family can be in your lives especially when you are young and naive. I am crying now. Cuz I know the tubal can’t be reversed. The ob/gyn did it in a way that it can’t be surgically undone.

Now I am wondering if I can be forgiven, absolved of this sin?? Or was it a sin when I had the influence of family interfering in my life?? Was it a mortal sin? Or was it venial?? I am confused and need answers and peace over this painful subject.
Click to expand...
Of course you can be forgiven. Look at what Jesus did with Saul! :love:

Talk to your priest about this, you can confess it. It may not be a mortal sin in your case, because of your possible lack of full knowledge and full consent, but even if it is, you can still be absolved.

This forum has helped me to recognize more of my past sins as well. It’s been a blessing for me so many times that way.
 
TheRealJuliane said:
Of course you can be forgiven. Look at what Jesus did with Saul! :love:

Talk to your priest about this, you can confess it. It may not be a mortal sin in your case, because of your possible lack of full knowledge and full consent, but even if it is, you can still be absolved.

This forum has helped me to recognize more of my past sins as well. It’s been a blessing for me so many times that way.
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Yes, this forum has been a blessing to me in so many ways of learning about the faith, what to do and not do, and I am starting to feel better about being a human being what with my imperfect life. And I know I can strive for perfection with Christ in my life.
 
Becca3 said:
Yes, this forum has been a blessing to me in so many ways of learning about the faith, what to do and not do, and I am starting to feel better about being a human being what with my imperfect life. And I know I can strive for perfection with Christ in my life.
Click to expand...
:love::love::grouphug::hug3::console: :hug1:

:yup:

Yay!
 
You are in a position to …
  1. offer to God sorrow for your tubal ligation and ask Him to pour out His grace upon couples that are considering being sterilized today. Your prayers will have much power because you’ll be praying with your whole heart.
  2. Counsel young people about your experiences and your pain. You’ve ‘been there and done that’ and you can speak to them and encourage them to follow God, to walk in fullness of life, and not to have regrets. God designed sex to be between a husband and wife within marriage for the raising of children. Having sex before it’s time is a train wreck going to happen. This forum is a wonderful place to start, and God can place people along your path that you can be an apostle for life and marriage. We really need you to pray first, and to take on this task, because this culture has forgotten God and His design for married life.
God bless and strengthen you in your journey.
 
Becca3 said:
… I had the tubal litigation after my second child was born cuz my family wanted me to. … I felt such guilt and such sorrow over my decision not to have kids anymore that I cried so so hard and asked for God’s forgiveness. Right when I did that, my stomach started to hurt and cramp up. I couldn’t understand that. But I felt little peace over it.

Oh, why did I listen to my family!
Now I am wondering if I can be forgiven, absolved of this sin?? I am confused and need answers and peace over this painful subject.
Click to expand...
Dearest Becca, Please know that God hears your cries, God knows your pain, God knows the sorrow you have for seeking a tubal ligation. God forgives you. God offers you His peace.

You listened to your family because you placed your trust in them, not because you sought to offend God. Most likely your family suggested this to you out of a misguided secular notion that sterilization is an easy way to avoid children. They probably did not consider that it would offend God.

Since you are in the process of coming into the fullness of the Church, you will have a chance to make a Sacramental Confession to God and ask His forgiveness sacramentally and hear the words of the priest as he absolves you from all sins.

If you have never been baptized and will be receiving the Sacrament of Baptism when you enter the Church, your sins will all be forgiven through the Baptism. If you are already a Baptized Christian, you will make your first confession prior to the Mass when you receive your First Holy Communion and Confirmation.

As others mention, the Church never requires someone who is sorry for the sin of sterilization to attempt a reversal. As also mention, the Pope Paul VI Institute for the Study of Human Reproduction ( popepaulvi.com/ ) might be a place for you to inquire. You can call them with questions. (402) 390-6600

(On a personal note, you mentioned your age: I was almost 47 when our youngest child was born.)

Relax and know that God forgives all of us our sins. Rejoice that He gives us this beautiful gift of the Sacrament of Confession to cleanse our souls.

You might feel a peace sharing this with a priest now, even if you can not as of yet make a Sacramental Confession. You can call the parish office and make an appointment to speak with a priest.

May God’s blessings be upon you, your beautiful fiancé, and your two precious children.
 
RoseMary131 said:
Dearest Becca, Please know that God hears your cries, God knows your pain, God knows the sorrow you have for seeking a tubal ligation. God forgives you. God offers you His peace.

You listened to your family because you placed your trust in them, not because you sought to offend God. Most likely your family suggested this to you out of a misguided secular notion that sterilization is an easy way to avoid children. They probably did not consider that it would offend God.

Since you are in the process of coming into the fullness of the Church, you will have a chance to make a Sacramental Confession to God and ask His forgiveness sacramentally and hear the words of the priest as he absolves you from all sins.

If you have never been baptized and will be receiving the Sacrament of Baptism when you enter the Church, your sins will all be forgiven through the Baptism. If you are already a Baptized Christian, you will make your first confession prior to the Mass when you receive your First Holy Communion and Confirmation.

As others mention, the Church never requires someone who is sorry for the sin of sterilization to attempt a reversal. As also mention, the Pope Paul VI Institute for the Study of Human Reproduction ( popepaulvi.com/ ) might be a place for you to inquire. You can call them with questions. (402) 390-6600

(On a personal note, you mentioned your age: I was almost 47 when our youngest child was born.)

Relax and know that God forgives all of us our sins. Rejoice that He gives us this beautiful gift of the Sacrament of Confession to cleanse our souls.

You might feel a peace sharing this with a priest now, even if you can not as of yet make a Sacramental Confession. You can call the parish office and make an appointment to speak with a priest.

May God’s blessings be upon you, your beautiful fiancé, and your two precious children.
Click to expand...
Thank you all for your answers and giving me peace. That means so much to me. I will certainly take the right steps for the sacramental confession and all that.
 
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