Turned Away from Confession

[DoGodsBidding]

Another thought on this discussion. The two Priests had no way of knowing if those who were remaining had been there for 1-1/2 hours or for 5 minutes. And if they stayed, who is to say that before they were finished that someone else doesn’t show up as well.

DGB

 

[Faith1960]

Since you arrived at 5:00 and waited for an hour and a half, I think the priests had a duty to stay to hear the 4 people who were left unless it was an emergency. That would have been only 2 people per priest!

I totally agree with you.

 

[Faith1960]

We all have been turned away from confession at one point or another.

I never have.

 

[Faith1960]

My personal opinion is that any priests that are scheduled to hear confessions should ideally not have other important appointments backed up so close. This parish had what, at least 3 priests hearing confessions at that time slot. At least one of those priests should have time preplanned in case the need for confessions goes over. In this day when there is already limited scheduled confession times per week it’s even more important, especially just before Christmas and Easter.

 

[Castello]

I guess I will let it go. I am not explaining it well. I do go to confession once a month, at least, and this was the scheduled time for confessions at our church. My nephew is a priest and I think I will talk it through with him. He has told me that in his order, there is nothing more important than confession and saving souls.
Thanks.
A.A.

And charity would say that is likely what the priest was going to do, attend to a soul. We do not know that he was not headed to give the last rites to someone on his deathbed or to comfort a mother who just lost a child.

When confession begins at 4:30, it is wise to be in line at 4:30.

Pray for more vocations!

 

[GwenL]

My personal opinion is that any priests that are scheduled to hear confessions should ideally not have other important appointments backed up so close. This parish had what, at least 3 priests hearing confessions at that time slot. At least one of those priests should have time preplanned in case the need for confessions goes over. In this day when there is already limited scheduled confession times per week it’s even more important, especially just before Christmas and Easter.

This is a non-starter. Especially during a season as busy as Christmas. Someday, ask your priest for a look at his schedule.

Give these guys the benefit of the doubt. If they could have stayed for the confessions, they would have. They heard confessions for 2 1/2 hours, until the published finish time. They gave the waiting penitents a reason why they had to leave. We should assume that they balanced the importance of the meeting with the fact of penitents waiting for confession.

Hearing confessions is not the only way to save souls.

If your confession is truly an emergency (perhaps you are headed for life-threatening surgery, or combat, or hazardous police/fire duty), then it’s up to you to say that to the priest. Or to get in line at the beginning of confession time. During Advent, we all know that the lines can be long. Wise people anticipate that fact and arrive early, especially if they want to be certain that their confession will be heard.

We have many posters judging priests, saying they didn’t handle it in a very pastoral way, they should have stayed and heard the confessions, they did wrong and jeopardized souls by leaving, etc. And yet these posters are making these proclamations based on an unknown person’s perception of the event.

 

[frjimt]

Hello,
Anyway, I wanted to email the priest to let him know how being turned away from confession affected me but he doesn’t have email. I still do not think this is right and am thinking of writing the archdiocese. Any suggestions?
Angeline

oh what a great idea…thrust another spear…
why no comment about them being there for 2.5 hrs!
pile on,gang, Christmas blessings …and you wonder why there are so few of us

 

[Wendy_Stewart]

I am an adult convert to Catholicism and when I started at my home parish we only had one parish priest from the Archdiocese. We all knew he was very busy so we had help from 2-3 other priests. But on any given Saturday after noon (the scheduled time for confession) there would be one priest and not too many people.

Last summer we were blessed to receive 3 Dominican priests from the St. Joseph Province in New York City. The confession schedule remained the same but it is before the Saturday vigil mass. I have never seen them turn anyone away for good because that’s not what they do. But if it’s time for mass or we are finishing Eucharistic Adoration (like at our monthly Frassati celebrations) then they will ask if it is okay if they come back to you after.

At our last Frassati event, the topic was Confession and our speaker was our very own parish priest. During that time we had 2 priests available for confession, but they still had to pause in order to return the Eucharist. Not a big deal in my opinion. My philosophy on the whole thing is to try to have the same confessor, but it depends on whether you want regular confession hours or are willing to meet face to face to receive the sacrament. If it doesn’t matter to you, then simply contact the parish office and let them you know you need to receive the sacrament of reconciliation. I can’t imagine any parish not trying to accommodate that request. If they can’t, then you may need to have a conversation with someone before taking that any higher up the chain.

I personally love going to confession because I know how crucial it is to my spiritual development! Good luck to the OP in getting your situation resolved!

 

[JG_91]

This seems to be very similar to another thread in this section. Thankfully a little less harsh. I’m pasting a duplicate of my comment from the other thread as much of it applies here as well. I understand the circumstances are somewhat different and the replies are not as harsh on this thread. Much of it still applies regarding our priests.

I’m not certain if anyone has read this thread from page 1 forward …

It is so disheartening. Pages and post after post containing quite uncharitable comments about our priests. No wonder there aren’t enough!
If I were discerning to become a priest and came across this… God would certainly
have to pull me hard and quite possibly kicking and screaming.

I was so relieved to read the last few posts after the litany of criticizing posts.
Thank you to the more charitable posters as this post would read very differently if not for you.

Of course not all priests live up to what our expectations are, but truly there are many good ones out there and if I had to guess … The ones struggling need our prayers to give the time they would like to spend with people one on one as well as the patience to hang in there when dealing with more people than most of us could ever handle with extremely delicate issues AND those with expectations that only Jesus Christ himself could live up to…

Let’s try not to forget 1) they are human; as we are, and goodness knows we all make mistakes. It’s called being human. 2) do you really think upon entering they realized they would be pulled in so many directions, have countless meetings when many times they would rather be available for us, and do on…

Side note- if needed, many priests will happily schedule an appointment with you for confession, counseling, etc via a simple phone call if you feel you need more time or have a need before the next scheduled time for confessions.

I apologize for being critical, but we give slack to other people. Shouldn’t we give them a little slack as well?

 

[Mrs_Sally]

Yep – a point many of us have made repeatedly on this forum. Before daily Mass is the obvious solution, which many parishes do offer. When a parish will never offer pre-Mass confessions (I mean a parish with at least one full-time pastor, let alone 2 or 3), then it seems that it is not a priority for the parish in question.

I was recently involved with a parish in which the priest “couldn’t figure out” what to do to increase regular attendance/involvement. So, at a large meeting suggested by him, the parishioners told him (I was there): the church itself open more often for prayer, and frequent confession. We all provided a number of options for both requests, including collaborating on staggered confession times and open churches with other nearby parishes in the diocese, and publishing those. (So as not to overly burden any one pastor or parish.)

The pastor was completely non-responsive, despite the parishioners pleading with him. Confession is still only the one hour before Saturday Vigil Mass.

I’m quite sure that hearing confessions is draining, or certainly can be. Here’s a solution, if you don’t want to hear confessions, don’t become part of the Roman Catholic ministerial priesthood; instead, find another role, such as an Order, a function, a location in which not ministering to a parish is a possibility. That’s why many men become Brothers instead of priests, and other men join contemplative orders, and still others don’t get ordained at all but teach in Catholic locations without Holy Orders. The main function of the ministerial priesthood is administering the sacraments. I am not commenting on the particulars of the OP’s situation; the meeting may have indeed been an emergency, not to mention confidential in nature & sensitive – just commenting on the above poster’s remarks.

I don’t expect all parishes to have the same focus as my local parish does, which is Sacraments in Extremus . (Multiple times a day, every day of the year) But except for truly understaffed situations, such as rural parishes and other exceptions, it is difficult to believe that where’s a will, there is not a way, within any dioceses that are dense enough to have some kind of cooperative scheduling with other parishes. Even 2-3 times a week, within a narrow geographical range, would be a vast improvement.

Very sorry to hear about the parish meeting that went nowhere. Like you, I would have expected a change based on sure a strong response from the parish.

The idea of deliberately staggering confession times (and adoration, etc.) at nearby parishes is excellent. I don’t think the priests in this area have done it deliberately, but there is enough difference in scheduling that if someone doesn’t make it at one scheduled time, they can get in within a day or two at a nearby parish. And of course, in an emergency, make an appointment.

 

[EvelynEVF]

My deanery tries to avoid the holiday crush by having communal penance services twice per week in different parishes in the deanery, usually in the evening. That way everybody has eight opportunities within an hour’s drive, including, for us, two within ten minutes. On top of individual appointments and regularly scheduled hours.

No offense at all to the OP or others in the situation, but anybody who goes regularly, but then gets “stuck” because of a last minute sin that prevents reception on a solemnity, needs a spiritual director. Shoot, everybody needs a spiritual director, but if Christmas Mass isn’t enough of a deterrent, I think more direction would be helpful.

 

[Mrs_Sally]

Standing in line for 1-1/2 hours is not valuing the sacrament enough for you? Maybe we should be standing outside the parish in sackcloth and ashes?

Maybe we should. Early Christian definately did. What I am saying is that for secular things, like getting tickets to a show, meeting a celebrity or the like, people seem more than willing to queue up before the start time. My experience with confession is that if I arrive at or just before the scheduled time, I always get to have my confession heard, I rarely have to wait more than 1/2 hour, and I have plenty of time for my penance and thanksgiving.

My recommendation to anyone going to confession is to arrive at the start time or close to rather than half way through. Another problem that has occurred is that a priest will stay “until the line runs out”, which usually means that in the OPs case, her confession would have been heard. It could also mean that if there were a lull in the line, the priest might have left thinking no one else was coming and the late-arriving penitent would again not have had her confession heard.

 

[Annabelle_Marie]

This seems to be very similar to another thread in this section. Thankfully a little less harsh. I’m pasting a duplicate of my comment from the other thread as much of it applies here as well. I understand the circumstances are somewhat different and the replies are not as harsh on this thread. Much of it still applies regarding our priests.

I’m not certain if anyone has read this thread from page 1 forward …

It is so disheartening. Pages and post after post containing quite uncharitable comments about our priests. No wonder there aren’t enough!
If I were discerning to become a priest and came across this… God would certainly
have to pull me hard and quite possibly kicking and screaming.

I was so relieved to read the last few posts after the litany of criticizing posts.
Thank you to the more charitable posters as this post would read very differently if not for you.

Of course not all priests live up to what our expectations are, but truly there are many good ones out there and if I had to guess … The ones struggling need our prayers to give the time they would like to spend with people one on one as well as the patience to hang in there when dealing with more people than most of us could ever handle with extremely delicate issues AND those with expectations that only Jesus Christ himself could live up to…

Let’s try not to forget 1) they are human; as we are, and goodness knows we all make mistakes. It’s called being human. 2) do you really think upon entering they realized they would be pulled in so many directions, have countless meetings when many times they would rather be available for us, and do on…

Side note- if needed, many priests will happily schedule an appointment with you for confession, counseling, etc via a simple phone call if you feel you need more time or have a need before the next scheduled time for confessions.

I apologize for being critical, but we give slack to other people. Shouldn’t we give them a little slack as well?

I find it ironic that we are so willing to harshly judge priests when we are looking for forgiveness…

 

[GwenL]

This seems to be very similar to another thread in this section. Thankfully a little less harsh. I’m pasting a duplicate of my comment from the other thread as much of it applies here as well. I understand the circumstances are somewhat different and the replies are not as harsh on this thread. Much of it still applies regarding our priests.

I’m not certain if anyone has read this thread from page 1 forward …

It is so disheartening. Pages and post after post containing quite uncharitable comments about our priests. No wonder there aren’t enough!
If I were discerning to become a priest and came across this… God would certainly
have to pull me hard and quite possibly kicking and screaming.

I was so relieved to read the last few posts after the litany of criticizing posts.
Thank you to the more charitable posters as this post would read very differently if not for you.

Of course not all priests live up to what our expectations are, but truly there are many good ones out there and if I had to guess … The ones struggling need our prayers to give the time they would like to spend with people one on one as well as the patience to hang in there when dealing with more people than most of us could ever handle with extremely delicate issues AND those with expectations that only Jesus Christ himself could live up to…

Let’s try not to forget 1) they are human; as we are, and goodness knows we all make mistakes. It’s called being human. 2) do you really think upon entering they realized they would be pulled in so many directions, have countless meetings when many times they would rather be available for us, and do on…

Side note- if needed, many priests will happily schedule an appointment with you for confession, counseling, etc via a simple phone call if you feel you need more time or have a need before the next scheduled time for confessions.

I apologize for being critical, but we give slack to other people. Shouldn’t we give them a little slack as well?

It’s all about us, isn’t it? Me me me me me me me first last and only!

I do think that CAF posters are not a true (statistical) representation of Catholics.

And on threads like this, all the whiners and complainers seem to congregate. Just think of all the business for the confessional we are generating here!

 

[Pitcharan]

Hello,
Two nights ago, I went to church where they had three priests hearing confessions. The time for confesssions was scheduled for 4 until 6:30pm. I arrived there at 5pm and got into one of the very long lines. I finally got to point where there was only one person in front of me and 2 behind me at 6:30, when the priest came out and said that he & his associate priest had another meeting and confessions were over. He did not tell us that it was an emergency; he just said goodnight and we walked out. The other priests had already left and this was the last time before Christmas. I couldn’t believe that any meeting could be more important than the souls of his parishioners, especially after we were there waiting for 1 1/2 hours and did not have a choice of how long he stayed with each person before us. I couldn’t believe it, so I went to my car and confessed my sins to God. What if one of the people in line had a mortal sin to confess? Anyway, I wanted to email the priest to let him know how being turned away from confession affected me but he doesn’t have email. I still do not think this is right and am thinking of writing the archdiocese. Any suggestions?
Angeline

MY SUGGESTIONS:

1. What happened is something very common and quite normal
2. The thread title is most inappropriate: missing a chance to confess by virtue of being one of the last few cannot be described as ‘being turned away from confession’
3. You are not even trying to see God’s hand in this
4. To me it looks like your penance and conversion is in enduring such trials and the whole thing is a ‘divine simulation’

 

[YADA]

The OP stated that at least one of the priests had left already without leaving any penitents in line [none were at least mentioned as being left standing when that priest left early] -

Thus - to me - that really means that the penitents stayed in a longer line rather then move to a shorter line … why? - perhaps they wanted a specific priest to hear their confession - which perhaps is understandable … but as the time alloted to confessions nears its end … If I had been in that longer line - and I witnessed a shorter line - … then I would have moved to that position to equalize the lines to ensure that I received the Sacrament …

After all - the Sacrament is not about which priest is hearing your confession - but honestly confessing your sins and receiving Christ’s forgiveness

 

[Castello]

I find it highly unlikely that any of these emergencies you list happened to occur right at the point of the end of the scheduled time. It just looks like the time was up and the Priest had other previous engagements scheduled right after confession time. I find the baptizing someone on their deathbed suggestion most unlikely- otherwise the priest may not have shown up for confession at all before taking care of such dire things first. And if it was an emergency, then the Priest should have said so- he has no obligations to give details, everyone would understand that something described as an emergency was exactly that and no one would complain.

This might be mind boggling, however, priests DO carry cell phones or pagers and DO have emergency numbers directed to such devices that are always on. Such calls (deathbed baptisms, last rites, death calls) are not as rare as some folks seem to think they are. Priests do drop everything to go to a medical emergency.

Priests are also human. He could have been suddenly taken ill and needed to get tend to a bodily need, it was far more polite to say he had an appointment (and saying he is sick would have set toungues a wagging all over the parish).

As 1 Cor 13 tells us, charity always thinks no evil.

 

[Mrs_Sally]

The OP stated that at least one of the priests had left already without leaving any penitents in line [none were at least mentioned as being left standing when that priest left early] -

Thus - to me - that really means that the penitents stayed in a longer line rather then move to a shorter line … why? - perhaps they wanted a specific priest to hear their confession - which perhaps is understandable … but as the time alloted to confessions nears its end … If I had been in that longer line - and I witnessed a shorter line - … then I would have moved to that position to equalize the lines to ensure that I received the Sacrament …

After all - the Sacrament is not about which priest is hearing your confession - but honestly confessing your sins and receiving Christ’s forgiveness

Perhaps penance at that church needs to be set up like a bank line and each person just sees the next available priest.

Unless it were impossible to see the lines for other priests, I agree that it makes sense to move from a longer line to a shorter one. Especially as the time for confessions to end drew near.

 

[YADA]

Perhaps penance at that church needs to be set up like a bank line and each person just sees the next available priest.

Unless it were impossible to see the lines for other priests, I agree that it makes sense to move from a longer line to a shorter one. Especially as the time for confessions to end drew near.

At our parish penance services - where there are typically about 8 priests hearing confessions - I have seen people move lines multiple times … attempting to keep the lines even … we sometimes have people who are able to monitor the lines and assist the penitents in finding an appropriate line - the penitents usually are busy concentrating upon their sins and their remorse for offending our Lord-

I once watched a lady move four times … she was in a line near where I was sitting … she moved to another line - then to another … about that time I got into the line she left … she moved again … then ended up back into the original line where she started - only abut 4 people behind me … I kind of felt sorry for her - and was tempted to give up my place - but did not …

It can be hard to gage the length of a person’s confession and a priest’s response to the sins confessed - [which is why someone should never wait until just before Mass - hoping to catch the priest - or the last few minutes of a scheduled confession time, IMHO] …

 

[Aussiegal]

This seems to be very similar to another thread in this section. Thankfully a little less harsh. I’m pasting a duplicate of my comment from the other thread as much of it applies here as well. I understand the circumstances are somewhat different and the replies are not as harsh on this thread. Much of it still applies regarding our priests.

I’m not certain if anyone has read this thread from page 1 forward …

It is so disheartening. Pages and post after post containing quite uncharitable comments about our priests. No wonder there aren’t enough!
If I were discerning to become a priest and came across this… God would certainly
have to pull me hard and quite possibly kicking and screaming.

I was so relieved to read the last few posts after the litany of criticizing posts.
Thank you to the more charitable posters as this post would read very differently if not for you.

Of course not all priests live up to what our expectations are, but truly there are many good ones out there and if I had to guess … The ones struggling need our prayers to give the time they would like to spend with people one on one as well as the patience to hang in there when dealing with more people than most of us could ever handle with extremely delicate issues AND those with expectations that only Jesus Christ himself could live up to…

Let’s try not to forget 1) they are human; as we are, and goodness knows we all make mistakes. It’s called being human. 2) do you really think upon entering they realized they would be pulled in so many directions, have countless meetings when many times they would rather be available for us, and do on…

Side note- if needed, many priests will happily schedule an appointment with you for confession, counseling, etc via a simple phone call if you feel you need more time or have a need before the next scheduled time for confessions.

I apologize for being critical, but we give slack to other people. Shouldn’t we give them a little slack as well?

well said!!