Turned away from confession

[DebChris]

While this is a wonderful “ideal”, I do not know of any Pastor who can block out an hour every day to hear confessions without letting something else fall to the wayside.

That said, every Pastor I know will make an appointment for someone outside of regularly scheduled confession times.

We need to remember that our priests are spread thin, have lots of obligations and are not just “sacramental machines”.

Want more confessions times, pray for more priests and encourage your sons, nephews and all the young men you know to at least consider a vocation to the priesthood.

I mentioned parishes to which I belonged where it was the daily routine of the priest to set aside the half hour block before daily Mass for confessions. Confessions would be offered from 11:30am until noon. That gave the priest 15 minutes of personal preparation for Mass beginning at 12:15pm everyday at the downtown church.
There would generally be at least 2 to 3 persons seeking the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Confession at that particular church was also offered Saturday evening before the Vigil Mass.
Many parishes do offer confessions before Saturday Vigil Mass. While many begin at 4:30pm, I have seen them start as early as 4pm.
Living in WI, I never failed to find a confessor at the cathedral. It was a time of personal crisis. I had already driven 25 miles to see my personal counselor, and used the combination of the Sacrament of Reconciliation, personal counseling, and Mass in my healing process.
Despite his calling, a priest will always be a man with physical limitations. Have you ever prayed for him while waiting in line for your turn to receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation? That the counsel he gives the penitent he is currently seeing may be God inspired? I have been in confession lines that are mere chit chat lines. I have also been in lines where those awaiting their turn have prayed for the priest. There is a major difference, both while waiting, and when it is time for the Sacrament.
I have come to love face to face confession; and had a priest lead me where I never expected to go in terms of self examination. With nobody waiting, he had the time to guide me in a way that a long line of penitents may not have allowed; and no I was not on retreat at the time.
There are other threads that have addressed the right attitude of the penitent. Are you a penitent coming in with a grocery list. or somebody who has encountered Christ with a deep desire for that deeper relationship? Is it merely about fulfilling a devotional checklist, or growing into a deeper love of Christ?
God does not expect the impossible of either us or the priest. At least one person has listed “what if” scenarios regarding not being able to meet the 1st Saturday obligation. Devotions are great, but never forget their intended purpose.
The Act of Contrition includes the words, “because of your just punishment,” but more importantly, our sins hurt the One we are called to love with all heart, mind, and strength. “They offend, you my God, who is deserving of all my love.”
God is not an accountant. We wants the restoration of our relationship with Him.

In speaking to the pastor to request more time for the Sacrament of Reconciliation, keep in mind that priests do have many obligations of we may not be aware. Can you take up the some of the slack (that does not involve actually administering Sacraments) like taking the Eucharist to the home bound, or visiting the sick in the hospital? Not presiding over funerals or Anointing the Sick. There are many ways in which the laity can be more involved in parish life, to know we are the Church.

 

[theodoric]

But the refusal of confession issue really bothers me.

I don’t believe you were “refused” confession. The priest needed time to prep for Mass - fair - and you don’t really know the circumstances after Mass. Perhaps he had to go to a funeral home for bereavement or had an appointment with the Bishop. Maybe he was feeling violently ill and was humbly putting on a happy face while offering his sufferings for your specific soul - who knows

It’s charitable to give him the benefit of the doubt and simply discuss with the pastor your concerns regarding the duration and frequency of scheduled confession in your parish. Your example is illustrative of a need, but not necessarily of any failing of the priest.

 

[tafan]

Our parish has confessions for an hour a day, every day of the week besides Sunday. Large parish, 3 priests.

Other parishes around are starting to schedule confessions more than once a week. A good trend.

 

[anon90438963]

On First Saturday we have confession from 4-5. I get there at 3 to start lining up! Luckily our line is formed sitting in pews, so it is a good time for rosary and meditation–a real Holy Hour plus confession. People are turned away at the end, but not those people who get there super early because they know the drill.

 

[DignumEtJustum]

I hate when priests do that. Once I was turned away around Easter and never came back until Christmas, though that was through my own freewill. My pastor will hear confessions even if it means Mass starts 20 minutes late (and the penitents should be blamed for this, not the priest). No one has ever complained, or if they do the priest is adequately prepared to dispel their complaints with the right words. I wish more priests were like this.

 

[Don_Ruggero]

I hate when priests do that. Once I was turned away around Easter and never came back until Christmas, though that was through my own freewill. My pastor will hear confessions even if it means Mass starts 20 minutes late (and the penitents should be blamed for this, not the priest). No one has ever complained, or if they do the priest is adequately prepared to dispel their complaints with the right words. I wish more priests were like this.

How would you know that no one has ever complained?

To delay Mass by 20 minutes in such a non-emergency situation would be nothing other then irresponsible and should be reported to the diocese.

 

[DebChris]

I don’t believe you were “refused” confession. The priest needed time to prep for Mass - fair - and you don’t really know the circumstances after Mass. Perhaps he had to go to a funeral home for bereavement or had an appointment with the Bishop. Maybe he was feeling violently ill and was humbly putting on a happy face while offering his sufferings for your specific soul - who knows

It’s charitable to give him the benefit of the doubt and simply discuss with the pastor your concerns regarding the duration and frequency of scheduled confession in your parish. Your example is illustrative of a need, but not necessarily of any failing of the priest.

This is a true answer. Does a priest know every personal devotion that a person may be practicing? Confession is necessary for those with grave sins, and recommended for those with venial sins. Were other options provided?

Our parish has confessions for an hour a day, every day of the week besides Sunday. Large parish, 3 priests.

Other parishes around are starting to schedule confessions more than once a week. A good trend.

Your parish is truly blessed. Many parishes have only one priest, even with the responsibility of 1000 family. Some parishes are being combined and priests are responsible for a wider geographical area.
It is truly a blessing when a person belongs to a parish, or can find one where there is confession available before every Mass (I mentioned places where I lived.). It’s excellent if one priest can continue to hear confession while another prepares for Mass, as was the case where I lived overseas. Be thankful where this is possible and aware where it is not because of other responsibilities.

 

[Jennifoo]

I need some advice on how to handle this issue gracefully as we have a newly ordained priest in our parish and I don’t want to appear to be “tattling” on him. Yesterday was the
1st Saturday of August. There are many of us in my parish observing the 1st Saturday devotion to the Blessed Mother, in honor of the 100th anniversary of the apparitions at Fatima. There has always been very limited time in our parish for confessions. It has always been just once a week for 1/2 hr before the Saturday vigil mass. There is also no Saturday morning mass, so the vigil mass is the only way to observe the 1st Saturday devotion. That is concerning in itself, since the priests speak about the importance of confession all the time. The talk the talk, but don’t walk the walk. It also bothers me that almost no one speaks of the 1st Saturday or 1st Friday devotions much, at least in this parish, which I just joined a couple of years ago due to moving here.

Yesterday, at the beginning of the scheduled confession time, there was already a very long line waiting when I arrived. I waited for over a half hour, as did several others, but many of us did not get to confess when the priest stopped confessions to get ready for mass. The other priest always stops exactly at 4:00 om on the dot, no matter how many are waiting. The young priest yesterday told one of the people coming out of confession to tell those waiting in line that we could either make an appointment or come back next week. We were shocked that he didn’t offer to hear confessions after mass because many of those still waiting were observing the 1st Saturday devotion. Others were elderly, in assisted living facilities, and only get to mass once a week as they have no other transportation.

Obviously, those of us observing the 1st Saturday devotion did our best to get to confession yesterday, but we can get to confession later this week at another church, but I felt horrible for those that cannot. Our Lady will understand and accept their attempt to fulfill the confession requirement and count it. But I was shocked that any priest would not make accommodation for any person trying to confess. What would happen if that person with a mortal sin on their soul suddenly died before the next confession opportunity? Wouldn’t it be on that priest who refused confession because it wasn’t “convenient”?

Obviously, the problem really lies with the very limited time for confession in our parish, which I intend to bring up with the pastor. But the refusal of confession issue really bothers me. I have already offered to transport any of the others who want to make appointments during the week, or find another parish with more confession time, but many of them are in wheelchairs and need lift-equipped vans. I also work from 7:30 am to 4 pm, so that also makes finding other confession times at other parishes a bit tricky.

My thought at this time is to pray for the young priest for wisdom and for God to make him re-think turning people thirsting for forgiveness away from a sacrament, and to bring up the very limited confession times to the pastor again. The issue has been raised several times now without much response on his part, but maybe the squeaky wheel really does get the grease!

I empathize with you as I was once turned away from Confession and I remember how hurtful and frustrating it was. In my case we had only 15-20 minutes for all penitents to confess.

I see several problems. First, very limited Confession schedules. Second, some penitents don’t examine their conscience beforehand, and do that while in Confession, which can make a Confession take longer than it should. Third,while many priests preach on the importance of Confession they don’t give enough time for Confession- sometimes that isn’t their fault, as they may have several parishes to care for.

I urge you to offer it up and make an appointment with that priest for a Confession.

God bless you in your desire to Confess and in your desire to honor Mary in this very beautiful devotion.

 

[DignumEtJustum]

How would you know that no one has ever complained?

To delay Mass by 20 minutes in such a non-emergency situation would be nothing other then irresponsible and should be reported to the diocese.

Thinking about it this would only likely occur before the final Mass which is in the Extraordinary Form, whose attendees would not care whether Mass started “on time” or half hour late because they’re just happy to be in the presence of the Lord in body, blood, soul, and divinity and aren’t the type to leave after communion nor at the moment of dismissal. The earlier Masses would probably only be started 5 minutes later (or not late at all) at the most for confessions as people could return at the end in between the other Masses to have their confessions heard. By the final Mass no one present would be likely to complain. People come from cities all around and even cross international borders for this Mass. It’s a small parish and public prayer doesn’t end with the conclusion of the final Mass; there is then Exposition of the Blessed Sacrament directly after Mass followed later by Liturgy of the Hours. We have a wonderful priest and anyone who would dare complain about our Very Reverend pastor for hearing confessions ought to find themselves another parish.

 

[Don_Ruggero]

Thinking about it this would only likely occur before the final Mass which is in the Extraordinary Form, whose attendees would not care whether Mass started “on time” or half hour late because they’re just happy to be in the presence of the Lord in body, blood, soul, and divinity and aren’t the type to leave after communion nor at the moment of dismissal. The earlier Masses would probably only be started 5 minutes later (or not late at all) at the most for confessions as people could return at the end in between the other Masses to have their confessions heard. By the final Mass no one present would be likely to complain. People come from cities all around and even cross international borders for this Mass. It’s a small parish and public prayer doesn’t end with the conclusion of the final Mass; there is then Exposition of the Blessed Sacrament directly after Mass followed later by Liturgy of the Hours. We have a wonderful priest and anyone who would dare complain about our Very Reverend pastor for hearing confessions ought to find themselves another parish.

Or the Most Reverend Bishop could find a new pastoral arrangement for the Very Reverend Pastor.

 

[thequeen]

How would you know that no one has ever complained?

To delay Mass by 20 minutes in such a non-emergency situation would be nothing other then irresponsible and should be reported to the diocese.

Thank you Father for this post. I totally agree with it.

 

[Don_Ruggero]

Thank you Father for this post. I totally agree with it.

Thank you for your very nice comment.

 

[thequeen]

Or the Most Reverend Bishop could find a new pastoral arrangement for the Very Reverend Pastor.

You got that right Father. You know if I cannot make it to my own parish at the times confessions are heard I just go down to the Cathedral they have lots of confession times.

 

[DignumEtJustum]

Or the Most Reverend Bishop could find a new pastoral arrangement for the Very Reverend Pastor.

Thankfully His Grace and the Very Reverend Pastor aren’t the jerks you’d make them out to be. I sometimes would prefer Mass started on time, but really for what? My own personal benefit? I would never think to complain about such a thing. Anyone who would likely needs a trip to the confessional themselves.

 

[OraLabora]

Confession is necessary for those with grave sins, and recommended for those with venial sins. Were other options provided?

One always has the option of saying an act of perfect contrition, and refraining from communion at Mass, if one is conscious of a grave sin on their soul. The act will protect you in danger of death, should God forbid you die before you have the chance for sacramental confession at another time or place.

 

[buc_fan33]

How would you know that no one has ever complained?

To delay Mass by 20 minutes in such a non-emergency situation would be nothing other then irresponsible and should be reported to the diocese.

Yeah, this is very irresponsible. Far be it for me to sit here and criticize this priest from my computer, but people’s time is important. At my daily Masses, for instance, people often have to run out immediately after Mass in order to get to work or school on time. Hearing confessions is important, no doubt, but honoring your schedule is also important.

 

[buc_fan33]

Thinking about it this would only likely occur before the final Mass which is in the Extraordinary Form, whose attendees would not care whether Mass started “on time” or half hour late because they’re just happy to be in the presence of the Lord in body, blood, soul, and divinity and aren’t the type to leave after communion nor at the moment of dismissal. The earlier Masses would probably only be started 5 minutes later (or not late at all) at the most for confessions as people could return at the end in between the other Masses to have their confessions heard. By the final Mass no one present would be likely to complain. People come from cities all around and even cross international borders for this Mass. It’s a small parish and public prayer doesn’t end with the conclusion of the final Mass; there is then Exposition of the Blessed Sacrament directly after Mass followed later by Liturgy of the Hours. We have a wonderful priest and anyone who would dare complain about our Very Reverend pastor for hearing confessions ought to find themselves another parish.

Is this meant to imply that those who prefer the Ordinary Form ARENT happy to be in the presence of the Lord?

 

[DignumEtJustum]

Is this meant to imply that those who prefer the Ordinary Form ARENT happy to be in the presence of the Lord?

I think it’s fair to say that many who attend the Ordinary Form don’t even know they’re in the presence of the Lord. Attend both Masses yourself and see which one clears quicker.

 

[Don_Ruggero]

Yeah, this is very irresponsible. Far be it for me to sit here and criticize this priest from my computer, but people’s time is important. At my daily Masses, for instance, people often have to run out immediately after Mass in order to get to work or school on time. Hearing confessions is important, no doubt, but honoring your schedule is also important.

Precisely, Father. I have had the very same experience with regard to presiding at a daily Eucharist…

In the case of Eucharist on a day of precept, it is especially unconscionable…above all when it is avoidable by simply saying “It is time for Mass; confessions cannot be accommodated any longer.”

 

[Don_Ruggero]

I think it’s fair to say that many who attend the Ordinary Form don’t even know they’re in the presence of the Lord. Attend both Masses yourself and see which one clears quicker.

What an absurd comment to make to a priest who offers Mass each day.

And what a commentary regarding those attached to the vetus ordo.