Turning down an offer based on morals

[goravens]

This week I interviewed for a practicum placement (similar to an internship) for next year (I’m in my last year of a master’s in social work program.) The agency I interviewed at is a children’s hospital, one that carries a widely positive reputation and would have tons of good experiences for my field. I interviewed with two different potential field instructors, one of whom worked in trauma/burn area and one who was in the teen clinic. If the trauma position was offered to me I would likely take it. If the teen clinic position was offered I would not for several reasons.

The social worker in charge of the teen clinic explained I would be dealing with teen pregnancies quite often, from ages 10-18, and would be expected to discuss all the options with teens, including abortion. I also took this to mean if the teen chose abortion, I would likely have to get them resources such as addresses of abortion clinics, possibly arrange transportation, etc.

She also said I would also have to be comfortable helping teens with pregnancy scares, or who came in and said they wanted to be sexually active, get hooked up with birth control. Or very likely, I’d have to show them how to put a condom on.

Um, no. I appreciate that she was upfront with me and let me know what I’d be getting into. But since her expectation was that if I took this position, I would be able to dispense this kind of information, I would turn it down. There’s no way in good conscience I could support a teen getting an abortion, or help them figure out different methods of BC.

So from this flows my random thoughts I would love to hear some advice and feedback on:

I recognize that helping a teen get an abortion or BC is a short-term “fix” - it doesn’t address the many underlying problems such as financial support, emotional needs, so on and so on. Teaching abstinence and chastity, along with meeting other needs, is much harder and I feel like I don’t know where to start. Mostly because more traditional abstinence programs aren’t really geared to the problems of inner-city kids. I’m not sure what I could say to a 16 year old who wants to have sex, whose parents have never been there for her or showed her any affection… I’m not sure what all help I can provide a pregnant teen in getting prenatal care w/out insurance, daycare, and help her finish her education. Or if a teen is set on having sex and there’s nothing anyone can do to change her mind, do you do anything? Say anything? I’m just pondering these things and knowing there has to be a better way, even if it means completely re-inventing the system so to speak.

If I have to turn this position down, I’m planning to say something to the effect of: I appreciate you being upfront and letting me know what your expectations are for this position. Unfortunately, I need to turn the offer down. I’m all for supporting teens who get into difficult situations and would love to help them. I cannot, however, in good conscience think that I would be helping them by giving information on obtaining an abortion or showing them how to use birth control.

What do you think?

 

[Della]

It seems to me you’ve answered your own question, and quite effectively too.

I don’t envy you having to explain why you can’t help young women kill their children, etc. To any right-minded person it would be obvious, but our society is no longer tolerant of being right-minded only of being “accommodating” to whatever people want to do, no matter how wrong or insane.

Anyway, have you tried any Catholic organizations that deal with urban teens and their needs? Maybe there would an opportunity for you there. It’s sad that so many agencies that are willing to help young women keep their babies have to beg for money while PP and others get government funding.

 

[vluvski]

I would take this one step further, even. I would write her a cordial letter informing her that you would like to withdraw your name from consideration for XYZ reasons.

That way, you don’t get caught having to search for the right words on the fly if the offer is over the phone or in person. Rehearsing never seems to come out right, and if it’s written down, you can really pray that the Holy Spirit would guide your choice of words. Not that you can’t do that anyway, but… it just seems like it might give you a better chance at really saying it effectively.

ETA: Plus, it is simply good, professional practice to inform someone as soon as you have ruled them out as a possibility.

 

[duskyjewel]

Turning it down now is WAY more honest than these people who get into the jobs, and then start refusing to do certain parts of the job and crowing loudly about how their faith won’t allow them to do it. I absolutely hate it when doctors and pharmacists do this, because it makes Catholics look like idiots. These people knew what the job required before they signed up, so it is dishonest to say after they have the job that their faith doesn’t allow them to do A, B or C. If your faith was that strong and informed your life that much, then you should have had the backbone to refuse the job and find another opportunity.

I agree with the suggestion to find Catholic (and maybe other pro-life Christian, though they may still expect you to deal in contraception ) organizations to apply to. Yes, this severely limits your job prospects, but your conscience will not trouble you. And you won’t be being unfair to prospective employers by wasting their time and yours.

I admire you for having the strength to limit your professional opportunities based on your faith. That takes courage. So many people rationalize things they do at work that are against their faith with “I have to” when that is not really true.

My husband works for the YMCA. Not Catholic, but Christian, and he is happy knowing that he is using his professional skills and helping do some good in the world too. As an accountant, he doesn’t face that many faith-challenges in his work. But, at least he knows for sure that he is in a place where he will never be asked to do any “creative accounting.” Having your work life in line with your faith brings a lot of peace…I have seen it firsthand.

 

[KathleenElsie]

I quit a job when they wanted me to help a pregnant teen obtain an abortion. I told them it was against my religious beliefs and was murder. Then I quit. Took me almost one full year to find another position.

 

[otjm]

It is the better part of widom to not show your cards every time you are in a game.

In the circumstances you describe, I would never do anything that would have the potential of getting myself blacklisted. I agree wholeheartedly with you in not taking the postion with teens where you may be required to consult on abortion and/or ABC.

That, however, does not mean that you should put your position forth. The world of professionals is way smaller than most people think, and both issues are political hot buttons. There aren’t a whole lot of larger cities that are not in general of a liberal bent. The people you do your practicum with know and associate with other professionals in your community; they know your professor; and it only takes one comment to have your file flagged.

And getting your file flagged as a radical, as a flaming conservative, as against womens’ rights, as (provide your own flag here) is a really good way of limiting your entrance into your chosen field, if not making it impossible. Any first time future employer most likely will want references from your professors and your practicum advisor(s). Get categorized before you even apply, and you might want to get started on a different Masters program soon.

It takes wisdom to walk through the political minefield that abortion and abc has become. You need some wisdom right now. Don’t lie, but do not under any circumstances let out that you would not take the practicum with kids because of those issues. That is, unless you really want to roll the dice about your future career. You’d be safer going into the local casino if you want to roill dice.

 

[KathleenElsie]

It is the better part of widom to not show your cards every time you are in a game.

In the circumstances you describe, I would never do anything that would have the potential of getting myself blacklisted. I agree wholeheartedly with you in not taking the postion with teens where you may be required to consult on abortion and/or ABC.

That, however, does not mean that you should put your position forth. The world of professionals is way smaller than most people think, and both issues are political hot buttons. There aren’t a whole lot of larger cities that are not in general of a liberal bent. The people you do your practicum with know and associate with other professionals in your community; they know your professor; and it only takes one comment to have your file flagged.

And getting your file flagged as a radical, as a flaming conservative, as against womens’ rights, as (provide your own flag here) is a really good way of limiting your entrance into your chosen field, if not making it impossible. Any first time future employer most likely will want references from your professors and your practicum advisor(s). Get categorized before you even apply, and you might want to get started on a different Masters program soon.

It takes wisdom to walk through the political minefield that abortion and abc has become. You need some wisdom right now. Don’t lie, but do not under any circumstances let out that you would not take the practicum with kids because of those issues. That is, unless you really want to roll the dice about your future career. You’d be safer going into the local casino if you want to roill dice.

While what you say is true to a large extent, for someone to hide their moral and Faith based beliefs could be construed as being in agreement with abortion and ABC. Maybe that is why they say the “silent” majority is for such things.

 

[goravens]

It is a good idea to put it in writing, Vluski. I admit to being caught off guard when all of this was brought up during my interview. And in all honesty, I was trying to formulate what to say that would explain my point of view without sounding like a religious, right-wing nut from the way this social worker was asking about it. So putting it in writing will hopefully give me a chance to do some justice to it.

And yet, I am a little concerned about being black-listed, so to speak, as another poster mentioned. I’d really like the other position open in the burn/trauma area that doesn’t require me to dump my convictions at the door - hopefully I won’t be taking myself out of the running for that spot by letting them know I’m not interested in the teen clinic.

 

[Brendan]

Turning it down now is WAY more honest than these people who get into the jobs, and then start refusing to do certain parts of the job and crowing loudly about how their faith won’t allow them to do it. I absolutely hate it when doctors and pharmacists do this, because it makes Catholics look like idiots. ** These people knew what the job required before they signed up,**

Excuse me, but when does being a doctor or pharmacist mean that you have to assist in murder?

 

[otjm]

While what you say is true to a large extent, for someone to hide their moral and Faith based beliefs could be construed as being in agreement with abortion and ABC. Maybe that is why they say the “silent” majority is for such things.

Perhaps you did not read my post carefully, or perhaps you did not understand it. I agreed with his turning down the psotion that would involve counseling on abortion or ABC.

However, anyone who weighs the risk/reward of making a statement about being morally against the issues will realize that there is almost nothing to gain by stating his moral postion, and risks the bvery real possibility that he will be labeled in a way that he will not be able to obtain a job in his profession.

The Church does not require us to become martyrs; it requires us to be true to the Faith. There is a time and a place for everything; making a moral statement in turning down a postion is not one of them.

To suggest that his not making a moral statement is the equivalent of doing nothing about abortion or ABC is simply not a conclusion one could draw.

 

[lak611]

I would suggest looking into pro-life groups that provide counseling and pre-natal care to women in order that they will not need to get abortions. The phone book usually lists these groups under the category “abortion alternatives”. For the anniversary of Roe v. Wade, my parish had a collection for one of these groups. Everybody picked up a baby bottle after Mass and for 2 weeks, we put our loose change in the baby bottles, then took them back and the money was given to the pro-life group. I would suspect that groups like this would have a need for counselors. Perhaps there is a group like this that you would be able to apply for a job. It would be something in your field of study and in agreement with your moral values.

 

[wjp984]

While what you say is true to a large extent, for someone to hide their moral and Faith based beliefs could be construed as being in agreement with abortion and ABC. Maybe that is why they say the “silent” majority is for such things.

Not quite. I do not know how historically accurate the movie is but in A Man for All Seasons, St. Thomas More remains silent in an effort to be within the bounds of the law and maintain his beliefs. They have to lie and cheat the system so they can still kill him. Therefore providing the movie is historically accurrate, which I have heard that it is, then I would have to disagree with your post.