Turning the Other Cheek? To what Extent Do You?

[dailey]

I know as Catholics we are taught to “turn the other cheek”…but to what degree?

*What if someone cuts in front of you at the grocery store? Do you not say anything?

*What if an employee at a store snaps at your 4 yo? ( My daughter was admiring some flowers and reached up to touch one). Do you just smile at the employee?

*How about if you hire someone to do some tile work for you and they go overboard with extras to the tune of $4000…and didn’t let you know beforehand? (happened to some friends, luckily they have the income to cover that kind of dollar amount). Should you not say anything and chalk it up to maybe they needed the money more then you??

These are just a few examples. I always struggle on what I should do in certain circumstances. Is there a way to stand up for yourself without offending God? By the way, when the employee snapped at my 4 yo…I told her she was very rude and for her not to talk to my daughter like that again. This wasn’t the first time this women had behaved this way, she had been rude to me in the past but I had always blown it off.

 

[philippaul]

If someone verbally insults you, yes, you should let it go. I think if someone does something that you can’t reasonably absorb, you do have an obligation to turn them down or evade them. If someone is beating you up, you can defend yourself if you feel your life is threatened I would think. I think the key thing is one-upmanship. If someone physically pushes you, it is ok to ask them to stop. Other than a reactionary push-back, it is not ok to respond in kind if it hasn’t resulted in some kind of serious harm. If someone hits you in the face and humiliates you, it is obviously wrong to go get a gun or a knife to “even the score.”

I personally believe Jesus used these points to illuminate his divine goodness against the way the world acts. It’s never OK to sin but it shows us that we can never earn the salvation that he provides for us with his death on the cross. Yes, if you can avoid sin, do so. If you failed to avoid it, know that He has provided a means for us to be forgiven. I wouldn’t worry too much about it.

 

[PatriceA]

I know as Catholics we are taught to “turn the other cheek”…but to what degree?

*What if someone cuts in front of you at the grocery store? Do you not say anything?

*What if an employee at a store snaps at your 4 yo? ( My daughter was admiring some flowers and reached up to touch one). Do you just smile at the employee?

*How about if you hire someone to do some tile work for you and they go overboard with extras to the tune of $4000…and didn’t let you know beforehand? (happened to some friends, luckily they have the income to cover that kind of dollar amount). Should you not say anything and chalk it up to maybe they needed the money more then you??

These are just a few examples. I always struggle on what I should do in certain circumstances. Is there a way to stand up for yourself without offending God? By the way, when the employee snapped at my 4 yo…I told her she was very rude and for her not to talk to my daughter like that again. This wasn’t the first time this women had behaved this way, she had been rude to me in the past but I had always blown it off.

There are degrees of when its appropriate to turn the other cheek and when to stand up and say something. The examples you used, the grocery line, yeah I’d let that go. The store employee, if it was just a simple “snap” comment, I’d probably let that go too. But if it was tirard, I’m intervening and saying in the most civil tone possible that they are out of line.

The $4000 charge for work being done, there is nothing wrong with asking someone to outline why the price increased so much from the price quoted before the work is done. That’s not about turning the other cheek. Its a reasonable response. Now the response you would give to their explanation, that would be whether you should turn the other cheek or not.

Turning the other cheek doesn’t mean we have to be doormats our whole lives. But it does mean you try and be polite and civil and do not seek revenge or justice or hold a grudge when someone has done us wrong.

 

[Barbkw]

I own a business and have employees.

IMO, it is unjust for any customer to suffer bad service, bad attitude from one of my employees, or for a customer to feel that they have been stolen from.

Expect upfront estimates on work. Refuse to pay for what you did not request.

Make a habit of developing Christian responses to bad behavior. Speak up, nicely and with authority.

Bad behavior, like a cancer, grows.

Bad customer service, unchallenged, also gets worse.

 

[Barbkw]

That being said, issues concerning religion are different.

I have had the most bigoted, idiotic statements said to my face about Catholicism and I have turned the other check.

(I actually got so P’ o’d that I knew that if I spoke I would have been yelling obscenities).

We Christian’s, when speaking about Jesus and His Church are His representatives on earth.

The same way that my uniformed employees represent my company here in our community.

It takes compassion, an understanding of where people are in their lives, to be an apologetic for Christ.

Like St. Paul said, in order to preach for Christ, he become the person who the convert needed so that he could be a disciple to all.

And, St. Paul got the **** knocked out of him multiple times in his attempts to do so.

He didn’t fight back, he moved on.

 

[puzzleannie]

I By the way, when the employee snapped at my 4 yo…I told her she was very rude and for her not to talk to my daughter like that again. This wasn’t the first time this women had behaved this way, she had been rude to me in the past but I had always blown it off.

why do you continue to patronize that business?

 

[Kardinal]

I turn the other cheek in that I (try to) immediately forgive the person who did wrong. But one of the duties we have is to admonish the sinner. So sometimes I will call them on their poor behavior.

I might say to the person who cut in front of me at the grocery store, “Excuse me, sir, but you cut in front of me.” I am not trying to simply get through the line more quickly, but rather tell him that his poor behavior was noticed and that he cannot simply get away with it whenever he chooses to. Accountability is sorely lacking in our culture, and it only makes poor behavior more common.

Likewise the person who snapped.

We are not called to drop justice in the name of turning the other cheek. What we are called to do is not RETALIATE. We’ve all seen kids who have to hit the other kid back when they are hit. Revenge, call it what you like. It is an instinctual response which was useful long ago in keeping us civil toward one another. But Christ calls us to rise above that and not react in revenge.

But we should still admonish the sinner that they have erred, so that they may not persist in sin. And so that perhaps, in the future, others do not have to be victims of their sin.

That said, if you cannot admonish without anger or indignity, perhaps it is wisest to see it as an exercise in humility and patience.

 

[dailey]

Thanks for the (name removed by moderator)ut everyone. Its definitely hard to turn the other cheek but I can honestly say that I have gotten SO much better at keeping my cool!

why do you continue to patronize that business?/QUOTE

The store is Lowes…so its not like this particular employee owns it. And I am mostly defintely not going to stop going there, I’m their best customer!! I suppose I could notify the manager of her rude behavior but you never know what a person is going through. I really have no desire to make her life any worse…just lost my cool for a few seconds.

On a good note though, she has been nice to me ever since, lol!

 

[Lost_Wanderer]

Its simple really. If the offense is petty, let it go since its not worth it (especially if it was an accident or done out of ignorance).

If the offense is quite serious (like let’s say somebody repeatedly backstabs you, paints a slanderous image against your character, bullies you, acts like he’s king of the world etc)… then I can’t say I comprehend the “logic” of the anti-revenge crowd when they discourage action against that individual. What lesson are you teaching that person by just (figuratively speaking) letting him slap you silly to his enjoyment? Where is justice?

I mean come on, even Jesus took action when He saw the temple desecrated by money changers. He drew a line and lost it when someone dared to cross it.

Why can’t we do the same? Why do some people dislike (or dare I say, afraid) of holding someone accountable?

 

[centurionguard]

There are degrees of when its appropriate to turn the other cheek and when to stand up and say something. The examples you used, the grocery line, yeah I’d let that go. The store employee, if it was just a simple “snap” comment, I’d probably let that go too. But if it was tirard, I’m intervening and saying in the most civil tone possible that they are out of line.

The $4000 charge for work being done, there is nothing wrong with asking someone to outline why the price increased so much from the price quoted before the work is done. That’s not about turning the other cheek. Its a reasonable response. Now the response you would give to their explanation, that would be whether you should turn the other cheek or not.

Turning the other cheek doesn’t mean we have to be doormats our whole lives. But it does mean you try and be polite and civil and do not seek revenge or justice or hold a grudge when someone has done us wrong.

Turning the other cheek doesn’t mean we have to be doormats our whole lives. But it does mean you try and be polite and civil and do not seek revenge or justice or hold a grudge when someone has done us wrong.

I liked your whole answer!
Truly though; it takes good practice, effort and humility to shoulder insults on oneself.
And if that sometimes means being a (“doormat humbly”) at least that’s what I make the effort to be. And forgive me Dear Lord when my human weakness gets in the way.

 

[Ponyguy]

Turning the other cheek doesn’t mean we have to be doormats our whole lives. But it does mean you try and be polite and civil and do not seek revenge or justice or hold a grudge when someone has done us wrong.

One must also remember that God only gave our faces two cheeks.

Yes, it’s good practice to figure that perhaps someone is just having a bad day, and they didn’t really intend to be rude, obnoxious, or just plain nasty. But when it is repeated, the line that shouldn’t be crossed just did. Then it’s time to advise that person of his misdeeds and read him his Miranda rights.

 

[dailey]

Thanks again for the (name removed by moderator)ut. :flowers:

 

[sean_jackson]

We are supposed to admonish the sinner not to send down fire from Heaven upon him.

Retaliation means we have judged. There is a difference between retaliation and admonition when done correctly.

Judge and you will be judged. Forgive and you will be forgiven.

Easier said then done.

always done by Jesus.