Don’t risk this. If she’s just doing this as a power play, that might work. But if she’s seriously pursuing divorce, that could really hurt him in the long run. The fact is, he has no legal right to kick her out, and attempting to do so will only make him look bad to the judge.Jay,
My ex-wife told me a similar story, so I speak from painful experience. I also made the mistake of allowing her to stay, while we were working through a divorce.
If she is unwilling to pursue reconciliation, she should leave. Living together in this manner will just further sour your relationship. She’s also going to show you more respect when you show such backbone. Tell her she can come back only when she’s willing to work on the relationship.
Thank you for taking one small part of a post and twisting it into a completely different meaning. It’s very common amongst Catholics (especially on CAF) to do so, so honestly I’m not surprised.People are always telling people that the priesthood is an option on these failed relationship threads. It’s within your post.
Yes, we need vocations, but they need to be discerned without relationship problems coloring their thinking.
Give this guy a chance to heal.
God knows where to find him if he wants to touch his heart in that way.
I have to agree though. Why even mention the priesthood at this time? He is married and getting divorced. I never heard him mention thinking about it, so why is anyone else?Thank you for taking one small part of a post and twisting it into a completely different meaning. It’s very common amongst Catholics (especially on CAF) to do so, so honestly I’m not surprised.
I have also offered prayers for you. May the peace of our Lord be with you.Joining in prayers for you and your well being during this stressful time.
Mary.
Don’t risk this. If she’s just doing this as a power play, that might work. But if she’s seriously pursuing divorce, that could really hurt him in the long run. The fact is, he has no legal right to kick her out, and attempting to do so will only make him look bad to the judge.
Under no circumstances should he leave the home either though! I know it’s painful, but he’ll lose if he leaves.
I’d like to say something to this. When I began my journey as a catholic, I felt a call to priesthood so real it scared me. I fought it and fought it. Then I met this woman who I later married, and I felt relieved that I could bury my calling. Now that my marriage is ending I have searched my soul and realized that maybe I followed my own calling and desires when I chose marriage, instead of listening to God’s call. Regardless, I do not plan to run and pledge to the bishop. I plan to pray hard and stay open to God and discern what he wants of me. In other words I do not view priesthood as a fallback, but as an honorable vocation that I ignored once, and may have the chance to say yes to one day if God wills and calls again.If God calls him to the priesthood, he’ll do it regardless. But let 's not continue this notion where some single men are told that if they don’t get what they first want, then I’ll “settle” for being a priest.
That’s not how vocations work. Seminaries will look at any qualified, sound in mind candidate yes. But throwing the priesthood out there as some sort of fallback position is really misleading and potentially harmful to people who are hurting. Let’s not add more pressure at this point.
Peace.
I am following the advice of three priests. All say I should allow her to leave on her time, but set a reasonable limit. She asks if she can leave the first weekend in July, when she can move into an apartment with a new lease. I told her yes. The priests tell me I am doing what is right by not pushing her out, but having her do all the leaving or abandoning. I want my case strong enough I will get an annulment.Asking her to leave now because she has quit the relationship is not the same as physically throwing her out. Also, I can’t see your scenario where this action will really hurt him worse in the long run. There will be no reconciliation until she has a change of heart.
Why should he be concerned about the judge, considering she’s admitted infidelity and asked for a divorce. The legal system would pursue this as a “No Fault Divorce” with a negotiated settlement.
Okay, but please talk to a lawyer, too. You need to protect yourself for when she goes after you for as much money as possible.I am following the advice of three priests. All say I should allow her to leave on her time, but set a reasonable limit. She asks if she can leave the first weekend in July, when she can move into an apartment with a new lease. I told her yes. The priests tell me I am doing what is right by not pushing her out, but having her do all the leaving or abandoning. I want my case strong enough I will get an annulment.
This ^^^^^^^^^^ 100%. You need to contact a Lawyer TODAY. RIGHT NOW. You may think it’s all going to be OK and the only thing to focus on is an Annulment, but the secular side of a marriage breaking is just as important. I know friends who have literally been left broke, because they thought their spouse would be equitable and they were not. Get a Lawyer, and document EVERYTHING that has happened so far.Okay, but please talk to a lawyer, too. You need to protect yourself for when she goes after you for as much money as possible.
I don’t own anything. I sold my property to my parents a year ago for personal reasons. All my money is in cash and we each own a car. I plan to buy it back in the futureThis ^^^^^^^^^^ 100%. You need to contact a Lawyer TODAY. RIGHT NOW. You may think it’s all going to be OK and the only thing to focus on is an Annulment, but the secular side of a marriage breaking is just as important. I know friends who have literally been left broke, because they thought their spouse would be equitable and they were not. Get a Lawyer, and document EVERYTHING that has happened so far.
Seriously, it’s great to worry about the spiritual side of things, but you have to protect yourself and your assets.
You still need a lawyer. Without one you could end up on the hook for the attorney’s fees for both lawyers, or paying alimony, or debt you did not even know you had. Speaking of which…if she has been having an affair and hiding it from you she is probably hiding money and debt. You need to talk to a lawyer and fast, they will know the appropriate method to check and make sure that this isn’t happening. Believe me even if you think you have nothing you still need a lawyer.I don’t own anything. I sold my property to my parents a year ago for personal reasons. All my money is in cash and we each own a car. I plan to buy it back in the future
I have no idea why three priests would feel that taking such an action or not would somehow affect an annulment trial. The advice the other posters have given is sound in the sense of contacting a civil attorney ASAP and protect your rights and your assets. Diocese in the USA won’t allow anyone to initiate a nullity case anyway until a final decree of divorce as they feel that it is the proof needed that further reconciliation is not possible.I am following the advice of three priests. All say I should allow her to leave on her time, but set a reasonable limit. She asks if she can leave the first weekend in July, when she can move into an apartment with a new lease. I told her yes. The priests tell me I am doing what is right by not pushing her out, but having her do all the leaving or abandoning. I want my case strong enough I will get an annulment.