Twice Divorced Marriage in Church

[Scottsman]

I’m a single Catholic that’s never been married and now seeing a Catholic woman that has been divorced twice. Both marriages were outside the church. Both marriages ended due to a combination of infidelity and mental/physical abuse on the part of the husband. We are wondering if a marriage between us can take place in the Catholic church. Anyone here familiar with this and have any insight? Thankyou in advance

 

[Xantippe]

I’m a single Catholic that’s never been married and now seeing a Catholic woman that has been divorced twice. Both marriages were outside the church. Both marriages ended due to a combination of infidelity and mental/physical abuse on the part of the husband. We are wondering if a marriage between us can take place in the Catholic church. Anyone here familiar with this and have any insight? Thankyou in advance

She has a good chance of getting annulments and being able to marry in the Church, but please consider whether she is a good marriage prospect for you. Unless she has a strong track record of practicing her faith and living a normal, productive life since her divorces, I would be very nervous about this. A lot of people divorce once and then live happily with their next spouse for the rest of their lives, but two divorces is worrisome.

 

[henpecked]

the Church recognizes any valid marriage. She will have to go through the annulment process for you to be married in the Church. Speaking from my brother’s experience.

 

[underacloud]

I’m a single Catholic that’s never been married and now seeing a Catholic woman that has been divorced twice. Both marriages were outside the church. Both marriages ended due to a combination of infidelity and mental/physical abuse on the part of the husband. We are wondering if a marriage between us can take place in the Catholic church. Anyone here familiar with this and have any insight? Thankyou in advance

Talk to you local parish priest, who can advise you and help you sort out what needs to be sorted out.

If she is Catholic (and was at the time of her marriages) and her previous marriages were outside the Church, they should be found to be invalid. Don’t presume it; go through the proper process; but from what you have said it should be fine.

If that is found to be the case, your priest would then discuss timings and marriage preparation, which you should take great care to commit yourself to. As Xantippe says, you need to take care here. Divorce rates increase steadily from 1st to 2nd to 3rd (etc) marriages…that is, people who divorce once a even more likely to divorce again.

 

[CatholicRaven]

Are both her exes still living? She will need to apply for annulments for both previous marriages. Her priest can advise her on how to begin the process.

She really shouldn’t be dating unless and until she is granted annulments for both of her first two marriages. Keep in mind, whether they were Sacramental marriages or not does NOT depend on the reasons the marriages ended; it will depend on what was going on at the time she got married. Not what happened after the wedding. Many people misunderstand this.

If you have not yet gotten that serious in your relationship with her, I would suggest moving on and letting her get all of that stuff sorted out in her own life first, and then maybe if/when you’re both free to marry, you could try dating again if you choose and see where it goes.

If you two are already that serious… well, you may have to have quite a bit of patience, and things may still not work out in your favor if it is determined that she is not free to marry. There’s a good chance that they would be granted, but there’s no guarantee. Be careful with your heart and soul–and hers.

Prayers for you.

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

She needs to talk with her pastor for advice.

My best guess is that since Catholics are required to be married according to Catholic form and she was not (nor, I assume, did she receive dispensations), her previous marriages were not valid.

If 1KE comes along you’ll get good advice. But in general, the best thing would be to talk with the pastor and proceed from there.

 

[underacloud]

Are both her exes still living? She will need to apply for annulments for both previous marriages. Her priest can advise her on how to begin the process.

She really shouldn’t be dating unless and until she is granted annulments for both of her first two marriages. Keep in mind, whether they were Sacramental marriages or not does NOT depend on the reasons the marriages ended; it will depend on what was going on at the time she got married. Not what happened after the wedding. Many people misunderstand this.

My impression of the situation is that a full annulment investigation will not be needed; the marriages will simply need to be shown to be invalid (a Catholic marrying outside the Church without dispensation). This process can be done quite quickly; their priest can help facilitate this.

There may of course be more to it. And yes, they should take care until the previous marriages are found to be invalid.

 

[henpecked]

fwiw, when we were going through marriage prep, the priest asked us both if we had been married before, even a Vegas drive through wedding. The Church recognizes any valid marriage. Not to say it’s a valid Catholic marriage, but it would have to be procedurally dealt with to be free to remarry in the Church.

 

[EasterJoy]

The best place for technical and canon law questions concerning marriage is Liturgy and Sacraments.

 

[His_helpmeet]

I’m a single Catholic that’s never been married and now seeing a Catholic woman that has been divorced twice. Both marriages were outside the church. Both marriages ended due to a combination of infidelity and mental/physical abuse on the part of the husband. We are wondering if a marriage between us can take place in the Catholic church. Anyone here familiar with this and have any insight? Thankyou in advance

One point that I would like to clear up just in case of any confusion: BOTH marriages will need to be investigated and she would need to receive a declaration of nullity for BOTH marriages before you could marry her. If the first marriage is found to be invalid, it is still possible (though it seems unlikely, given what you’ve said) that the second marriage could be valid. There will be separate investigations for each marriage, though if she was Catholic at the time and they were celebrated outside the Church without dispensation, this will likely be a relatively short process.

 

[Phemie]

Since she is Catholic, she was bound to marry according to canonical form: in Church, in front of a priest or deacon. To marry outside the Church she needed a dispensation from her bishop. Without such a dispensation her marriages are not presumed valid.

It’s easy enough to have these things verified. She’ll have to see her parish priest and provide a recently issued Certificate of Baptism and the marriage and divorce papers for both marriages. It’s a simple process, one she should make use of before your relationship progresses any further.