Two brief questions regarding confession...please share your thoughts

[MadetoLove]

Hi I have a couple questions regarding confession.

1. How does one go about confessing unchaste sins in a prudent way? Meaning, what is the best way to confess such sins without causing the priest to feel embarassed, considering that I am a woman. Would it be better for me to confess behind the screen or face-to-face? Does it matter?

And…

1. Say someone has a long list (about 5 or more) of sins. Perhaps they are confused about some of the sins because they are not sure whether or not what they did involved grave matter. Would it be more prudent and considerate to simply schedule a confession with a priest rather than get in a confessional line, so as not to cause others to wait?

Thank you for your help, I really appreciate it!

God bless,
J

 

[Bookcat]

Hi I have a couple questions regarding confession.

1. How does one go about confessing unchaste sins in a prudent way? Meaning, what is the best way to confess such sins without causing the priest to feel embarassed, considering that I am a woman. Would it be better for me to confess behind the screen or face-to-face? Does it matter?

And…

1. Say someone has a long list (about 5 or more) of sins. Perhaps they are confused about some of the sins because they are not sure whether or not what they did involved grave matter. Would it be more prudent and considerate to simply schedule a confession with a priest rather than get in a confessional line, so as not to cause others to wait?

Thank you for your help, I really appreciate it!

God bless,
J

1. For mortal sins: Number and kind (and circumstance that changes the sin)./ As to screen or not? .Either way. One may feel better using the screen (prob the way to go) jimmyakin.typepad.com/defensor_fidei/2007/03/specific_confes.html
2. 5 is not much…should not take long. One can of course always make an appointment. One can speak fast (I accuse myself of murder 3x, adultery 2x, unchaste thoughts 4x, I stole $1,000 from the Church (one will need to return it) and I was unkind in my words and all the sins of my life particularly past sins of anger and theft)

 

[aicirt]

How about “I’ve had impure thoughts and committed impure deeds once a week for a month.”

 

[runningdude]

1. For mortal sins: Number and kind (and circumstance that changes the sin)./ As to screen or not? .Either way. One may feel better using the screen (prob the way to go) jimmyakin.typepad.com/defensor_fidei/2007/03/specific_confes.html
2. 5 is not much…should not take long. One can of course always make an appointment. One can speak fast (I accuse myself of murder 3x, adultery 2x, unchaste thoughts 4x, I stole $1,000 from the Church (one will need to return it) and I was unkind in my words and all the sins of my life particularly past sins of anger and theft)

I don’t think the priest would mind if you slowed down a bit on these particular sins

 

[Godislove32091]

Hi I have a couple questions regarding confession.

1. How does one go about confessing unchaste sins in a prudent way? Meaning, what is the best way to confess such sins without causing the priest to feel embarassed, considering that I am a woman. Would it be better for me to confess behind the screen or face-to-face? Does it matter?

And…

1. Say someone has a long list (about 5 or more) of sins. Perhaps they are confused about some of the sins because they are not sure whether or not what they did involved grave matter. Would it be more prudent and considerate to simply schedule a confession with a priest rather than get in a confessional line, so as not to cause others to wait?

Thank you for your help, I really appreciate it!

God bless,
J

 

[Bookcat]

How about “I’ve had impure thoughts and committed impure deeds once a week for a month.”

Too vague…not specific enough.

 

[ESMDHokie77]

Priests have heard all sorts of sins. I doubt you’ll make them blush with whatever it is you want to confess.

 

[Cristiano]

Too vague…not specific enough.

I do not think that it is too vague. It clearly makes the point of a sex related habitual sin in thoughts and in actions. I would say that at that point it is up to the priest to ask more details if he deems it appropriate.

 

[Bookcat]

I do not think that it is too vague. It clearly makes the point of a sex related habitual sin in thoughts and in actions. I would say that at that point it is up to the priest to ask more details if he deems it appropriate.

It needs to specify the actual sin (the species)…not just he generic catagory or commandment in regards to mortal sin.

I accuse myself of:

buying and watching pornography 2x
Lustful thoughts 3x
Adultery 2x
Fornication 3x

etc.

“Actions” could be various things…one could be having impure thoughts and committing fornication with ones girlfriend…

It needs to be specific enough to relate what it was that was done…and how many times (as one can).

it is not “interrogation” it is “confession” Yes the Priest can ask questions but we are obliged to “confess” (voluntarily accuse ourselves verbally) all mortal sins in number and kind (species)…

 

[Cristiano]

It needs to specify the actual sin (the species)…not just he generic catagory or commandment in regards to mortal sin.

I accuse myself of:

buying and watching pornography 2x
Lustful thoughts 3x
Adultery 2x
Fornication 3x

etc.

“Actions” could be various things…one could be having impure thoughts and committing fornication with ones girlfriend…

It needs to be specific enough to relate what it was that was done…and how many times (as one can).

it is not “interrogation” it is “confession” Yes the Priest can ask questions but we are obliged to “confess” (voluntarily accuse ourselves verbally) all mortal sins in number and kind (species)…

I see what you mean. In my mind “impure deeds” refer to only a very few specific cases. Your description of details is beyond of what I would define as “impure deeds”, and I agree that it would be a good idea in presenting them the way you mentioned. I guess that I am just too simple minded.

 

[Mamanurse]

Too vague…not specific enough.

I think anyone could understand the person was eluding to a sexual sin. The priest will simply ask for more detail if he doesn’t understand or wants clarification to determine the severity of the act.

 

[nodito]

I see what you mean. In my mind “impure deeds” refer to only a very few specific cases.

The Jimmy Akin blog that was posted earlier in this thread sums it up nicely. Even if “impure deeds” could mean only two different types of sexual sins (say, masturbation or fornication, for example) it would still be necessary to specify which of these sins you were referring to. Jimmy makes the point that “impure thoughts”, on the other hand, is generally understood to mean sexual thoughts, and so one would not need to go into more detail than that.

 

[Edward_H]

Number, sins, no stories.

Stories and windups are usually badly disguised excuses…so are the vague ones and ones with euphemisms.

 

[Victory9]

If you think you might monopolize the priest’s time, you might want to consider making an appointment. It’s no problem to request meeting in the church, so that you can go behind the screen.
If the sins are embarrassing, go behind the screen, for both your sakes. The priest is like a doctor ~ a doctor has seen it all, a priest has heard it all (and is actually a ‘doctor’ of souls).
The most important thing, however, is to say the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. You don’t need to go into a whole minute-by-minute history ~ make your point. ACCUSE yourself, don’t excuse yourself. If I have a lot to confess I write a list with everything I want to say, so that I can keep it going without rambling, staying on point. I try to be as open and honest as possible, because I know that I am the one responsible for my actions, not anyone else. Yes I’m weak, but I did it,* I* caved, I am guilty of sin. And I want to get rid of all of it, the filth on my soul, the weight of it. I hold nothing back. I don’t go into excruciating, graphic detail, but I want to be clean, clean, clean, so I say it all openly.
The more honest you are with yourself, the easier it gets to confess everything.

 

[puzzleannie]

Hi I have a couple questions regarding confession.

1. How does one go about confessing unchaste sins in a prudent way?
   And…

just say the sin in the common English (not anglo-saxon) usage, noun and verb, he has heard it all before. don’t use adjectives and adverbs except number, unless they are required.

1. Say someone has a long list (about 5 or more) of sins. Perhaps they are confused about some of the sins because they are not sure whether or not what they did involved grave matter. J

there are only 10 commandments, how long can the list be if it includes only the noun, verb and number for each sin? just say it or read it. If you are unsure, just say it.

but yes if you think your confession will take too long, or even simply for your own comfort and if it lessens anxiety, you can certainly make an appointment. As for face to face or behind the screen, that also simply depends on your own preference and comfort level, do not worry about disconcernting the priest, despite that cutesy scene in all the hollywood movies