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Elizabeth502
Guest
If it were only that simple, Conor…Children only need to be raised in loving homes.
Children need balance. Children need the complementarity that cannot be provided by people of the same gender, regardless of what roles they play or how “masculine” one of them “feels” or wants to be, and how “feminine” the other imagines himself to be. Children also need to have role models of both sexes. They need this because they unconsciously pattern those models as reference points as they mature.
“What is a man all about? What is a woman all about?” “Where can I see the masculine side of me portrayed; where can I see the ‘feminine’ in me developed?” “What does it mean to be a human being who in some sense has elements of both within it, so that I can relate healthfully to the whole human race, and comfortably so?”
Finally, they also need to see those two different sexes relating to each other in a healthy marriage (including recovering from arguments, making up, negotiating, reconciling, etc.), and again in the way specific to the way men and women do this together (which is utterly different from male-to-male and from female-to-female, because male communication, and reception of communication, is quite different from that of a female).
To deprive a child of the ongoing, daily experience of this complementarity is a form of selfishness and neglect. It restricts the child’s development. Having friends and relatives who occasionally provide this is insufficient. What research has proven is that unless someone or ones truly replace the primary parents in the household (such as a concerned & devoted housekeeper or live-in relative, who plays the part of a surrogate parent), the child’s primary reference point(s) is overwhelmingly the parent(s) – not parental friends, not aunts, uncles, etc.
One does not need “research” to determine how essential this daily complementarity is. This is a matter of life experience and what is evident without statistics of formal data.