S
StMikhael
Guest
A very quick synopsis on my background. I am not a theologian yet I am quite certain I am a much more cathechised (self-educated) catholic then most in the pews. I’ve read many catholic books, modern and ancient and love my faith. However I am often perplexed at our (catholics) fantasic ability to dance around certain matters.
I could write many pages on this “dance” but in the interest of time and space it is impractical for me to go too deep here. However I will provide this case study which I am sure most have all heard and contimplated before in various fashions in an attempt to illustrate the dance.
A married couple with children both catholic, both passed away now.
First the man.
He was by many accounts a “good” man . He lived up to his responsibilities in exceptional form. He was a good father who cared deeply about his children and loved his wife with all his heart… He was hard working, ethical and put his family above all else. He went to church for the most part, most sundays but periodically. For instance he took his children to Mass on Sundays while they were all going to Sunday School and again later in life but skipped many years in between. He knew his faith but to a very limited extent. Certainly not nearly as well as most of the people who are going to read this thread. He, for example, would never think to equate missing Mass on Sunday with grave sin. He always put his family before himself in every manner conceivable. He was an unselfish man.
However, he was full of hate. He seldom if ever envisioned himself as doing anything wrong. He was always right, most especially when he was wrong. He was bigotted and used derogatory words to describe all ethnic backgrounds. He was unforgiving especially toward some who were closest to him, such as his siblings.
He went to confession but it is likely he never really confessed his most grevious sins because he never saw himself as sinful. He would go to confession and confess the bread and butter but leave the steak and potatoes unmentioned.
On his deathbed he received the sacrement of the sick.
Now the woman:
She never went to church. She believed in God but most assuradley felt the catholic church was wrong in much of her teachings. She most likely received no catechetical education at all. There are very few who were as unselfish as she. She loved everyone she came in contact with and people loved her deeply. Even though she died an elderly woman the tears that flowed at her funeral where as if she died much younger. She spent every waking hour of her life helping other people, buying presents for other people, providing for other people mostly by being an ear for their biggest and most pressing personall problems. She would literally walk over hot coals to spare the people in her life any physical pain or emotional heartache… Many years later she is still sorely missed by many people who tear up only at the thought of her.
During her last few days she suffered the most painful death one can imagine Hospice was delinquent in proving her adequet pain relief (nobodys fault really, just ignorance and because the end came so quickly). She was asked if she wanted to talk to a priest. Her response was - no. She said it was not your religion but how you lived your life that mattered. She lived her’s in many ways like a local Mother Teresa in terms of her dealings with those she encountered through her life.
How is one to consider these individuals in terms of thier eternal souls? . To this most pressing question; this most deep concern; the heart-wrenching pain that acompanies the contemplation of the souls of these two loved ones, we get as many answers as catholics we ask. The more liberal (if you allow me to use the term) catholics use reason to answer the question and would say the woman’s soul is in the better place. The more consevative (again please allow the term, I do not like it either) catholics could use catholic teaching to demonstrate the man’s soul is in the better place. Knowing these two people, the liberal catholic’s argument resonates with reason; resonates with the heart better. The conserative catholics argument makes a better logistical argument but goes contrary to the heart of anyone who knew these two people.
Hence, “the dance”. I believe it is for reasons such as this, that are difficult to address with clarity, that keeps many people from accepting the faith.
I could write many pages on this “dance” but in the interest of time and space it is impractical for me to go too deep here. However I will provide this case study which I am sure most have all heard and contimplated before in various fashions in an attempt to illustrate the dance.
A married couple with children both catholic, both passed away now.
First the man.
He was by many accounts a “good” man . He lived up to his responsibilities in exceptional form. He was a good father who cared deeply about his children and loved his wife with all his heart… He was hard working, ethical and put his family above all else. He went to church for the most part, most sundays but periodically. For instance he took his children to Mass on Sundays while they were all going to Sunday School and again later in life but skipped many years in between. He knew his faith but to a very limited extent. Certainly not nearly as well as most of the people who are going to read this thread. He, for example, would never think to equate missing Mass on Sunday with grave sin. He always put his family before himself in every manner conceivable. He was an unselfish man.
However, he was full of hate. He seldom if ever envisioned himself as doing anything wrong. He was always right, most especially when he was wrong. He was bigotted and used derogatory words to describe all ethnic backgrounds. He was unforgiving especially toward some who were closest to him, such as his siblings.
He went to confession but it is likely he never really confessed his most grevious sins because he never saw himself as sinful. He would go to confession and confess the bread and butter but leave the steak and potatoes unmentioned.
On his deathbed he received the sacrement of the sick.
Now the woman:
She never went to church. She believed in God but most assuradley felt the catholic church was wrong in much of her teachings. She most likely received no catechetical education at all. There are very few who were as unselfish as she. She loved everyone she came in contact with and people loved her deeply. Even though she died an elderly woman the tears that flowed at her funeral where as if she died much younger. She spent every waking hour of her life helping other people, buying presents for other people, providing for other people mostly by being an ear for their biggest and most pressing personall problems. She would literally walk over hot coals to spare the people in her life any physical pain or emotional heartache… Many years later she is still sorely missed by many people who tear up only at the thought of her.
During her last few days she suffered the most painful death one can imagine Hospice was delinquent in proving her adequet pain relief (nobodys fault really, just ignorance and because the end came so quickly). She was asked if she wanted to talk to a priest. Her response was - no. She said it was not your religion but how you lived your life that mattered. She lived her’s in many ways like a local Mother Teresa in terms of her dealings with those she encountered through her life.
How is one to consider these individuals in terms of thier eternal souls? . To this most pressing question; this most deep concern; the heart-wrenching pain that acompanies the contemplation of the souls of these two loved ones, we get as many answers as catholics we ask. The more liberal (if you allow me to use the term) catholics use reason to answer the question and would say the woman’s soul is in the better place. The more consevative (again please allow the term, I do not like it either) catholics could use catholic teaching to demonstrate the man’s soul is in the better place. Knowing these two people, the liberal catholic’s argument resonates with reason; resonates with the heart better. The conserative catholics argument makes a better logistical argument but goes contrary to the heart of anyone who knew these two people.
Hence, “the dance”. I believe it is for reasons such as this, that are difficult to address with clarity, that keeps many people from accepting the faith.
