Uloverable male?

[Thoeger]

Hei, I am not sure I am in the right forum, but I suppose that people who knows something on celibacy will understand my probleme.

I am 30 years old and I am unmarried. I am a virgin (as a male) and this is my problem. I want to live according to the will of God, but being a male I also have a sexuality, which God has given me, A solution would be to marry a woman, but this is precessisly the problem. I cant do that because no woman would love me. I am unloverable. I am ugly and way fare, fare to much. I do not have a personality, that a woman could love. I dont know ehat love is, because no woman will show me and I am not sure that I am capable of loving another person. And I am terrified, because scripture says, that he who does not love doesent know God and cannot be saved.

In a way the life as a monk would be perfect for me I can see that, but not the way I feel on my sexuality. I am envious on all the “normale” people, who have sex as easy as they do. All people have sex all the time around me and I feel the laughe at me for being “a virgin” I have sexuel urges and in a way I want fornication and casual sex, but the word of God says I cant have that. (And as I said, I couldent do that anyway because no woman would love me) but I cannot follow the will of God an marry, because no woman wants me.

I fell empty. I dont know what love is. I know that God is love, but what does it mean.

 

[Rascalking]

From one brother in Christ of the same age to another-(also a bachelor, by choice)

No one, my friend, is unloveable. You are made in the image of the divine creator, and He puts the ability to be loved and the ability to love in all of us.

You might want to speak to a therapist-it sounds like you might be depressed.

Praying for you

 

[LittleDavid]

Consider also that the love quoted in the bible is AGAPE love, and not EROS(sexual) love. Read 1Corinthians 13. See what you think. The fact that you have stayed a virgin is super! Way to go! Jesus never married.

 

[Musicadmirer]

First of all, the people that have unmarried sex are not in love, they are in LUST with one other, a major difference.

Secondly, look at yourself in the mirror and think about the fact that God made you as you are because He loves you.

No one is unlovable. I am not unlovable, and you are not either. Don’t think that because you’re 30 (which is still very young, by the way), and haven’t found a potential wife, that you’ll never marry.

Converse with God through prayer on whether you are called to married life or the life of a religious.

Remember that you should love your neighbor as yourself. Right now, work on loving yourself, because it starts with you, one of God’s beautiful children.

This comes from a 22 year old woman that made a vow to God in her teens to keep my virginity until marriage. I haven’t broken that vow. I have the same urges as you do, but what I do or don’t do with them is what makes me the person I am. God bless.

 

[ahollars]

Bear with me. I am an ex-Army Sergeant, and the truth can hurt.

Hit the gym, or whatever you have available. Unless you have an underlying condition, lack of health in a young man is a sign of weakness. It protrays one as not having a priority for health and, like it or not, can imply laziness. A good, virtuous woman looking for a father to her children still has every right to expect a reasonably strong and healthy man who at least puts effort on maintaining his own health. He will need it when it is time to spend all his energy raising children. Note: this has nothing to do with vanity and is morally justified.

After you’ve hit the gym and got some results, the rest of it will happen on its own. You energy level will increase, you will want to spend less time at home, you will sleep less, you will have a natural craving for healthier foods, you will feel more confident and it will begin to show without you even realizing that you’ve changed, and you will have more energy to get involved with parish life. When you meet your future bride, she will readily accept that you waited so long because of your health and will not hold that against you.

I had friends in the Army who couldn’t enlist at 18 because they had to lose some weight first. It’s amazing what happened after they did.

Don’t give up. The call for marriage is just as strong as for other vocations. Get started and don’t look back. Good luck and God bless.