Un-baptized wife interested in RCIA

[TBlessed]

I have been married to my wife for 7 years. She, like me, is from a secular “none” background. I went through RCIA and converted before we met. She has always been supportive of my Catholic faith, and is engaged in helping teach our daughters (6, 4, and 1). We attend Mass as a family every weekend.

However, as supportive as she is, she has never expressed interest in becoming Catholic. Her biggest objection is to our Church’s scriptural teaching on sexuality, and how to define marriage from a standpoint of Truth based on a Christian understanding of love. I have long thought she was closer to becoming Catholic than she have herself credit - much closer than I was before RCIA! But, I have never pressed the idea of conversion. I have read, heard, and seen too many testimonials from spouses stating that any perceived pressure by the spouse is BAD NEWS. So, I have prayed. And prayed. And prayed. Daily, frequently prayed for her conversion.

Last night, out of the blue, she asked about RCIA. Her only concern is that it would be difficult because of our youngest daughter’s age. Because of this, she said she would be interested in pursuing the RCIA next fall, and asked if I would sponsor her at that time.

Does anyone have words of wisdom to share about spousal conversion processes? This is just the beginning; there are many conversations to come. I plan to suggest that she discuss it with our parish priest. I also plan to offer to stay home with the kids if she wants to check out the first RCIA class later this month.

Thanks be to God for little steps in the right direction. And thanks to you in advance for your comments; and for prayers that the Holy Spirit may continue to guide her and us.

 

[Elizium23]

Sponsors should generally be of the same sex as the candidate, and it is usually discouraged for spouses or significant others to sponsor.

 

[Catholic1954]

When my husband wanted to convert, the first thing we did was start a prayer life together. I showed him how to pray the rosary and we also signed up for EWTN with our cable provider (you can also watch most shows online). Congratulations! Your wife’s conversion will also strengthen your marriage.

 

[Kal2012]

That’s awesome news! Very encouraging for those who would love it if our spouse was more involved with the church.

Good luck!

 

[Casilda]

Does anyone have words of wisdom to share about spousal conversion processes? This is just the beginning; there are many conversations to come. I plan to suggest that she discuss it with our parish priest. I also plan to offer to stay home with the kids if she wants to check out the first RCIA class later this month.

Thanks be to God for little steps in the right direction. And thanks to you in advance for your comments; and for prayers that the Holy Spirit may continue to guide her and us.

The best advice already occurred to you. I am a Catholic who married a Christian, I will not detail our journey, but it took a long time, 30 years for him to convert.

 

[Contra_Mundum_1]

Amazing news. Thanks for sharing.

If I were you I would do everything so she can go to RCIA this fall. No reason to delay.

 

[ichabode]

TBlessed,

Well this is great news. It is a good thing for everyone’s spouse who is not Catholic to go through RCIA (even if they do not become Catholic) because a spouse should be interested in what the other believes about the one they worship.

Elizium23, is correct on choosing a sponsor. Avoid conflict between spouses, but do not just pick a friend. This will be extremely important and to find someone who knows the faith well, and prays often will be important. Also, Catholic1954 had great advice and I am sure that your wife along with children attending Mass has been powerful to build up actual graces.

When my wife and I were engaged, along with prayer, we read “Casti Conubi” and “Famalaris Consortio” together taking turns reading aloud on the couch. I would recommend doing just that. You may want to give her a book like “Surprised by Truth” Vol 1, or “Catholicism and Fundamentalism” as RCIA will have discussions on the faith, and many questions arise because people are coming from different backgrounds. This would allow her to prepare ahead of time to think of some questions and to participate more fully in the RCIA discussions.

It would depend on the RCIA leaders or priest of the parish. It may not be an obstacle if your wife brought your one year old (even if she breastfeeds). Mommas and babies are part of our Church and attend Bible studies and other programs often, so it is just not unusual.

The Church does define marriage through scripture and sacred tradition it also defines marriage through natural law. I recommend the two encyclicals above and any audio you can find by Dr. Janet Smith or her books.

 

[z_0101]

Amazing news. Thanks for sharing.

If I were you I would do everything so she can go to RCIA this fall. No reason to delay.

Second that!

I would also second the suggestion that a spouse not be the sponsor. I know it’s often done; however, it’s an unnecessary strain on a relationship. IMNSHO - a sponsor should be able to call the person to task without fear of reprisal… my wife’s sponsor has dragged her to confession (an well, me too once or twice ) not something a spouse may be a position to do if the relationship hits a rough spot.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

I’m going to plug that you could indeed be a sponsor and it may be the best idea. I sponsored my wife while we were engaged and going to marriage prep. We are both converts. Our family faith life is strong and we lead each other. I also think it pertinent that her objections have to do with marriage and sexuality. Ultimately perhaps your marriage and sexuality together could make it easier for her to learn and understand these concepts.

 

[Magdalen2013]

If you’re going to stay home with the children when she goes to RCIA meetings, you can’t be her sponsor. Our program requires both the candidate and sponsor attend those meetings.

But you can be a prayer sponsor for her.

 

[slh3016]

Is childcare available at your parish during RCIA? Ours does and it is a huge blessing. Plus, they provide a meal for us that night so it definitely makes it a lot easier to get there on time

If childcare isn’t provided, do you have anyone close to you that could babysit your kids on those evenings? I, personally, think it would be great for you to attend the classes with your wife even if you can’t sponsor her.

I also think it would be nice for you two to spend time together one evening a week without kids. If dinner isn’t provided, maybe you could just schedule a weekly dinner date for you both before going to the class. It doesn’t have to always be elaborate and could even be fast food but just communicating and praying beforehand sounds really lovely to me

 

[z_0101]

I also think it would be nice for you two to spend time together one evening a week without kids. If dinner isn’t provided, maybe you could just schedule a weekly dinner date for you both before going to the class. It doesn’t have to always be elaborate and could even be fast food but just communicating and praying beforehand sounds really lovely to me

DATE NIGHT!
IMHO that should be a whole separate event from the RCIA class.
I have some dear friends and we will often watch each other’s kids as a B-day, Christmas, just because we’re friends gift so that we can each have a date night… lots of fun… 13+ kids in a small house. But they’re all good kids and the older ones help with the younger ones when it comes to dinner.
Love the kids, really we do; however, the marriage sometimes needs a steak dinner without having to make the potty-run in the middle of the meal!