Unable to cross arms at communion

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It leads to confusion and hurt feelings when people approach an EMHC and expect a blessing.
That was why I did not volunteer for EMHC at our parish – people were approaching the EMsHC and expecting a blessing, and I knew that was a no-no. Things have changed, and now instead of having two EMsHC at the head of the double line, there is always at least one priest or a deacon, who covers the blessings in both lines.

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Tis_Bearself:
It changed from 3 hours to 1 hour in 1964.
I’ll take your word for it when it changed. But even if it changed in 1964, it doesn’t mean every Catholic was necessarily informed about the change timely. In an organization as large as the Catholic Church- getting everyone’s attention takes time.
I doubt it had much to do with the fast. It was easy to get up and go to Mass without eating. Let’s not forget that many were used to the fast having been from midnight on so when it was shortened to 3 hours, allowing a farmer to get up and eat breakfast at 5 or 6 and do chores and still go to the 10 a.m. Mass and receive Communion, they thought they were lucky.

No, this was back in the days when there were still lineups for Confession on Saturday afternoons and you might go to Communion the first & second Sunday after you’d confessed but by the third Sunday you didn’t feel as worthy to receive and so didn’t until you’d confessed again. Most people were in the same boat and nobody batted an eye when as many as half the parishioners didn’t receive. It was the norm.

Now if a person doesn’t receive it causes raised eyebrows, that in spite of the fact that few people ever go to Confession. I base my observation on the lack of cars in the lot when I drive by during Confession time and the fact that in all my years of going to confession during the parish’s confession time, I’ve rarely encountered anyone at the church.
 
Now if a person doesn’t receive it causes raised eyebrows
I keep reading this and seriously wonder where all of you people go to Mass. Is it a parish with 50 people in it and they all know each other and talk about each other’s business? Most of the parishes I attend are so large and impersonal, especially in these days of merged parishes, that nobody notices whether anybody else is even there, much less who troops up to Communion, who sits in the pew, and who is out in the vestibule with their cell phone.

The only people who “notice stuff” would be the small group of daily Mass goers, mostly little old ladies, who know each other and get alarmed or think something is medically wrong if they see something out of the ordinary like their friend missed Mass or skipped Communion, etc.

Oh, and as for people not going to Confession, maybe they are going to a different church for that, or maybe they feel their confession needs are met by their going once or twice a year at Christmas and Easter. Maybe they genuinely feel that they do not have any mortal sins that would preclude them going to Communion. This idea that everybody must somehow be in a state of mortal sin if you don’t see them confessing every week is a bit odd unless you are living in their room and see them committing sins.
 
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Phemie:
Now if a person doesn’t receive it causes raised eyebrows
I keep reading this and seriously wonder where all of you people go to Mass. Is it a parish with 50 people in it and they all know each other and talk about each other’s business? Most of the parishes I attend are so large and impersonal, especially in these days of merged parishes, that nobody notices whether anybody else is even there, much less who troops up to Communion, who sits in the pew, and who is out in the vestibule with their cell phone.

The only people who “notice stuff” would be the small group of daily Mass goers, mostly little old ladies, who know each other and get alarmed or think something is medically wrong if they see something out of the ordinary like their friend missed Mass or skipped Communion, etc.
I personally haven’t noticed it but it keeps being repeated here. I should say that I usually attend Mass on Saturday afternoon and it’s rare to have more than 40 people there. I did so for about 5 years before someone mentioned that one lady never received because she was cohabiting and knew she shouldn’t. I’d never noticed that this woman never went to Communion and if I had I would have simply assumed that she wasn’t Catholic. We have a non-Catholic widower who attends Mass regularly since his wife died. He does because he found comfort here when she was killed and I think it makes him feel closer to her.

I grew up in the days when only about 50% received at any given time, people went to Communion when they were ready and not necessarily when their pew mates went, you moved aside or stood outside the pew to allow those who were going to receive to exit and reenter the pew and nobody thought it was tricky to do so. I don’t think things have changed for the better.
 
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Loud-living-dogma:
I’m not a big fan of going up for a blessing, but it can be tricky to stay in the pew, and scoot out of the communicants’ way.
We did it since pews were installed and it was never a problem, when did it become “tricky”? When did simply moving your legs or standing to let them pass become such an onerous task?
Well it probably depends on a few things – how much room is there between the pews, how plump or skinny are the people, how many coats are bundled around. I personally was taught that it is rude to just move your legs to the side, you are supposed to stand up and move all the way out of the way if possible.
 
Have you guys seen the thread where the pew-siiters wouldn’t let the communicant back in? It apparently is a difficult concept for some people. 🤣
 
I have talked to more people who are “moved” by the humility of those who go before the priest with their arms crossed, basically letting the whole congregation know that like the soldier in scripture “Lord I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof “
It is plenty humble to stay in your pew while everyone else goes up. Also, why can’t people who go up to receive also get a blessing? I’d love a personal blessing.
 
Yea, get rid of letting little children, pre first communion, feel that they are part of something bigger than themselves.
I say not only get rid of that misplaced sense of inclusivity,
That’s not the purpose of Communion, though. On D-Day, did we have a separate “kiddie beach” for 6-year old American, Canadian, and Btitish children to land on so they could play war with 6-year old children of Wehrmacht officers just so they could have a sense of “inclusion” and “being a part of something bigger than themselves”?

We need to stop confusing sacramental theology with modern-day 15-second soundbites derived from gender studies and SJW babble.
 
Yea, let’s keep all those small children from doing something that makes them feel included instead of just another lump in a pew, chomping at the bit to get out of that boring church and home to play. I say not only get rid of that misplaced sense of inclusivity, BAN people with young children from trying to teach their little ones a thirst for inclusion in Christ’s table. Don’t even let them bring their little distractions to mass at all! How dare they offend the sensibilities of the Catholic Taliban who can’t stand anyone disturbing their sense of self righteous zeal.
In the Protestant Church I grew up in we didn’t normally receive communion until we were twelve or thirteen and had received instruction. It never occurred to me to be offended and feel left out. Back then people understood their place and the idea of growing up.

Catholicism just doesn’t work with the idea of participation trophies. That isn’t the Catholic Faith. So even if such an attitude gets the numbers up in the Church Militant it may decrease the numbers in the Church Triumphant.
 
Thanks everyone for the responses. Wasn’t what I had expected. Looks like there is some debate about whether non-Catholics can go up (for a blessing) in the first place. Roman Catholic orthopraxy is something I have no right to comment on. I just follow everyone else. Or as @spyridon put it ‘when in Rome, do as the Romans do’.
 
A few more notes:

@Elizabeth3- probably, but was holding her in both arms as she had gone into a doze and I didn’t want to risk waking her, disrupting mass by moving her too much.

@stpurl et al- I normally stay in the pew. In the Catholic churches I have been in (mostly UK) the children go up and receive a blessing, arms crossed. I mostly went up for my daughter, rather than me. Seemed right for her to be involved in a small way as a member of the Catholic church through her mother. Do children go up with their parents at your church? or sit in the pew and wait for their parents to return?

@(name removed by moderator), @showersofRoses and @TheOldColonel- will remember these gestures. Thanks

@Hereiam- Agree with you that Jesus wouldn’t send people away.

@JimG- the blessing was given by the communion server not the priest. If ever the issue comes up again will try to make sure I am in the correct queue.

Just to clarify- My wife is Catholic. I was the one holding our daughter. Allows my other half to kneel, stand, sit and focus on mass while I worry about the little one.
 
I grew up in the days when only about 50% received at any given time, people went to Communion when they were ready and not necessarily when their pew mates went, you moved aside or stood outside the pew to allow those who were going to receive to exit and reenter the pew and nobody thought it was tricky to do so.
Yes, I remember those days well, having grown up both pre and post Vatican II. In my childhood years nobody went up for communion unless they were going to receive communion. And most people would not go up for communion on Sunday if they had not been to confession on Saturday. Also, the fast was from midnight and included water, so if you had broken your fast, whether inadvertently or on purpose, you stayed in the pew.

And going up for communion was totally random access, not by pew. Whether one was in the front or the back of the church, you just stood up and headed for the communion rail simultaneously.

I’m not sure when or why we all started going up row by row, but I think that was a bigger change than going up for a blessing. If communion was still random access, would people still choose to get up out of the pew for a blessing?

(As for blessings, of course there are some non-formal blessing that laity can give: parents blessing their children, spouses blessing each other. But those are non-priestly blessings. Anyone can say “ God bless you.” One could get such a blessing from the person standing next to you in the pew!)
 
So exactly what part of the “It has not, and never has been mandated, that a person who cannot receive the Eucharist MUST go up for a blessing instead” is 'not totally right" may I ask? That is what I the ‘ultra conservative’ say. . .and it in no way differs from any authentic Church teaching. People might try to put words in my mouth and say that I am trying to ‘enforce’ something, or that I am ‘not allowing bishops to decide’ but I never have said that.

It is not about ‘legalism OR love’. It is about simple obedience being love. If any bishop of mine mandates< "If thou canst receive the Eucharist thou must go for a blessing’, I will obey. But since no bishop has ever come out and stated, to my knowledge, “Thou must go” I stand by my words that, especially in cases of women with 3 week old infants, the woman need not feel obligated to go, but should, with perfect legitimacy, remain in the pew.

I wish people would stop trying to make artificial sides and paint other people as the big bad meanies. Obedience is just as ‘loving’ as telling people to 'do something that hasn’t been mandated, if it makes you feel better, and to hades with people telling you that you don’t HAVE TO do it at all".
You know, if anyone had bothered to read what I have said, and not what they “feel” I have said in my posts on this thread, they just might notice that nowhere have I ever said this practice of children receiving a blessing at the Communion “rail” is MANDATED, by anyone. It is a practice that some feel makes a small child more included and possibly generates a more devotional and loyal attitude toward mass for the little one.
Just don’t see the “harm” in it, outside of the practice offending those who believe that their beliefs are superior and “more correct” than the pastors and bishops who allow or even promote the practice.
 
It isn’t a question of harm, and thanks again, Joey, for trying to make it all about how the big bad meanies who are so ‘rigid’ are attempting to stop ‘harmless’ and sweet Christ-like gestures.

I notice you are not addressing the idea of how harmful it is to encourage disobedience?

If you’ve been keeping track–and I know there are a lot of posts–Ike earlier mentioned that in at least one, and I believe several other, dioceses, the practice of ‘coming up for a blessing’ has been vetoed by the bishop. So in those diocese, people who are coming up are, in fact, going against their bishop specifically and, per the responses of the bishops, are going against specific mandates BY the Church as the ‘norm’.

I just cannot understand why this is being turned into a circus whereby obedience to a specific practice (both traditionally past and ongoing present) of remaining in the pew if one cannot receive, and telling others that this practice remains in force and may always be observed, is considered so horrible, rigid, mean, etc to those who may actually be going against the specific directives of their own bishops if they ‘want to go up for a blessing’. And I’ve said more than once that if any bishop permits it, yay fine, but to call a person who only tells the truth that the practice is NOT NECESSARY and to make that person into a ‘hater’ of somebody who goes up is itself mean spirited and hateful.

It isn’t being all ‘superior’, it’s plain common sense obedience and simple truth.
 
I notice you are not addressing the idea of how harmful it is to encourage disobedience?
Disobedience is participating in something both a pastor and even an bishop allow or encourage?
If you’ve been keeping track–and I know there are a lot of posts–Ike earlier mentioned that in at least one, and I believe several other, dioceses, the practice of ‘coming up for a blessing’ has been vetoed by the bishop.
I believe there are over 100 dioceses in the U.S.?
but to call a person who only tells the truth that the practice is NOT NECESSARY and to make that person into a ‘hater’
I don’t think I ever called anyone a “hater”. And nowhere in any post did I say the practice was NECESSARY!
I only think there are some who just can’t attend mass and not be offended by something allowed by a priest. I just can’t understand what is so awful about a five year old receiving a blessing, other than the generic blessing at the end of mass that most likely means little to them personally.
We lose far too many faithful because they are sick of the RCC being about rules and regulations.
 
The Vatican knows that the practice goes on and hasn’t forbade the practice. Saint John Paul 2 gave a blessing to Lutheran’s, who could recieve, during communion at an ecumenical Mass. Some bishop conferences( UK and Wales) are completely supportive of the practice as other other bishops from around the world.
 
And going up for communion was totally random access, not by pew. Whether one was in the front or the back of the church, you just stood up and headed for the communion rail simultaneously.
That is still the way it is in some places, like at my own parish church. Of course, our average usher is 85 and has been serving in the role since the 1950’s, they are used to the old-school way of doing things.
 
Just don’t see the “harm” in it, outside of the practice offending those who believe that their beliefs are superior and “more correct” than the pastors and bishops who allow or even promote the practice.
So, since you mentioned your gut feel that others hadn’t read what you wrote, I’m curious: did you read the link with the response from the CDF?

Part of the “harm” is that bishops and priests are doing something that they haven’t been given permission to do. So, is there ‘harm’? I mean, outside the possibility of offending those who believe that their beliefs are superior and “more correct” than what the Church’s direction is… 😉
 
keep reading this and seriously wonder where all of you people go to Mass. Is it a parish with 50 people in it and they all know each other and talk about each other’s business?
I do go to a parish where we have under 100 at mass (only one mass per weekend) and everyone knows everyone. No one talks about who goes to communion and who doesn’t.

I think that a lot of this is in people’s heads right up there with “she looked at me funny”.
 
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