Unable to cross arms at communion

  • Thread starter Thread starter GodSpawned
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
My impression on the OP was that she wanted to go. Admittedly I did not read all the posts as it dragged a bit. So I could lose some of the posts in between. If she did not want to go, then there is no issue. She does not have to come up then.
 
The answer to the original question is HE can simply cross one arm across the chest and bow his head, if possible, or simply bow his head OR he can simply stay in his seat and receive the blessing at the end. He is not missing a blessing by not going up.

The rest of the thread, while enlightening somewhat that there is a “controversy” surrounding the issue, should be put to bed now. Both sides have said everything they could about their position. Further restating back and forth is unnecessary.
 
Actually what I regret is the contention and the overblowing of a simple question asked. And who are we? Aren’t we come from the same Church and same belief and why is there so much argument among ourselves?

I agree that discussion is healthy but on the other hand the seemingly contentious discussion indicates as if there are divisions among us. A sad situation, where the Lord exhorted us to be one.
 
You probably just shouldn’t get in line to go to communion if this is the case.
 
Yep. The whole point is not about whether somebody should or shouldn’t go, or whether it’s approved or not; the whole point is that nobody is mandated or required, if they can’t receive the Eucharist, to have to get up into the communion line and get a blessing.

And for my part in seeking to try to keep this on track and unwillingly being drawn into contention with other posters who (I’m sure unintentionally) attributed to me various attitudes, arguments etc which I (respectfully) did not say, think, or do, I apologize. The important thing here is not argument or contention, but simple statements to inform the OP that, for his and the baby’s comfort and safety as well as his ‘obligation’ in Mass attendance, he does not need to get in the communion line for a blessing.
 
If I remember correctly, the OP stated mid-thread that he primarily went up to receive a blessing for his baby. He himself is not Catholic and was holding the baby so his Catholic wife could better participate in Mass. I would tell him that for this situation, it really is not necessary to go up and get an individual blessing for your baby. Everyone does get one at the end.

Unless he was also going up there because he personally desired a blessing, going just for the sake of the baby really is unnecessary and probably a bigger bother as he tries not to disturb the baby from sleeping. Just stay in the pew and pray.
 
Last edited:
Magdalene said:
This thread is really shocking to me, I had no idea there was a controversy around this.

Before I converted to Catholicism I used to go up with arms crossed to receive a blessing. It was not about wanting a “participation trophy” of sorts but about not wanting to inconvenience everyone around me and stand out even more than I already did.

Many Protestants at mass are pretty uncomfortable and don’t really understand what’s going on. Many are there because they are with a family member. Like someone said earlier, I had no idea that there was a blessing at the end of mass! Honestly at the time I didn’t care about getting a blessing from a Catholic anyway… but I did want to be respectful, I knew I couldn’t receive, and I didn’t want to bring attention to myself or be in the way.

I had been to a few masses where people had to step over me, and I hated it. Stepping out of the pew is equally as awkward, plus they’ll just be back in a minute so if you’re in the middle someone will have to step over you either way.

Mass was stressful, not knowing what to say or do made me feel like everyone knew I shouldn’t be there. Being in the way made me feel worse. I realize that was just my perception, and that in reality nobody around me cared or noticed, but it felt like a big deal to me. When I found out I could go up and cross my arms to indicate I wasn’t receiving I was so relieved!!

I see no problems with someone going up for a blessing if it makes them feel more comfortable. I really don’t see how it would disrupt anything or cause any problems.
Click to expand...
From someone who is the NC spouse of a Catholic…the bolded is absolutely spot on. I’ve heard people around us say stuff about having to sit with the “non-Catholic” and climbing over me to go to communion…then then give me the “eye” so ya, some people do talk about those who don’t go up.

Honestly, in the few instances that I do go up for a blessing I think it means more to my wife than it does to me. It means a lot to her when we walk up as a family, same thing with Ash Wednesday and making sure we’re there so we can walk up as a family.
 
I was above average tall as a child. One time, my mother took me up in the Communion line, shortly before my own First Communion, so that I could see what it’s like. For a split second the priest looked like he was going to give me the host, and my mom’s hand slapped across my mouth quicker than quick as she turned me to walk back to our pew. 😅
 
One problem of staying in the pew–maybe this has been stated up-thread already–is that if you stay in your pew then you’re basically telling everyone, “Hey! Look at me! I’m a sinner who didn’t go to Confession!”
 
I kind of doubt that. After all, plenty of people stay in the pew because they are not Catholic and know not to receive; were hungry and forgot about the 1 hour fast and so are refraining from receiving; already went to an earlier Mass or plan to go to a later Mass and received/will receive there, is not in actual sin but is perhaps choosing not to receive as a courtesy to another family member who is not receiving, in order for them not to feel ‘singled out’, is scrupulous and concerned, not in actual sin, but would rather not receive ‘in case’, is watching children under the age of reason and has made a spiritual communion and would rather remain quietly in the pew, etc.

And even if the person were ‘hey, look at me, I’m a sinner who didn’t go to confession’ in truth, so what? Would they rather be, “Hey, look at me, I’m a sinner, didn’t go to confession, but I’m receiving in mortal sin because I’m afraid of what people will THINK?”

If you stay in the pew, the ONLY thing you are conveying to anyone is, "I am staying in the pew. What people choose to speculate about or assume is their problem, not yours.

In some ways, I love being old and not caring if people ‘think’ something untrue about me.

OK, to be honest, I would care if a couple of million people thought I was a killer, or a heretic, or a bad knitter, because the odds are that with that many, somebody who could directly negatively affect my life, health, and freedom might do just that. But when it comes to a few hundred or a couple of thousand people in my parish thinking, "Oh look at that sinner who didn’t go to confession, tsk, tsk’, I’m, “whatever, people. Think what you want, it has no effect on me. If you think I’m that bad and you decide not to invite me to the Parish council or don’t give me the handshake of peace, it’s not going to ruin my life!”
 
on_the_hill said:
One problem of staying in the pew–maybe this has been stated up-thread already–is that if you stay in your pew then you’re basically telling everyone, “Hey! Look at me! I’m a sinner who didn’t go to Confession!”
Click to expand...
When I returned to the Church and had not yet been to Confession, I don’t think I ever once thought about what the people around me were thinking about me remaining in the pew.
 
Of course you don’t, neither do most of us. However, that doesn’t prevent us from assuming what others are thinking when we stay in the pew.

Generally, we are harder on ourselves than others are.
 
I’ve heard if you’re gonna receive communion, but then when you get to the rail, you remember you shouldn’t you should put your index finger in front of your lips, like so. 🤫

I don’t know if that will get you a blessing though. 😉
 
@Magdalene: I agree with you- I was surprised by the responses to this thread.

I had the advantage that I used to go to an Anglican church as a kid and the service had a very similar structure to the Catholics. As such I have a fair idea what to do and when. It doesn’t always help- Good Friday’s mass threw me this year.

@showersofroses and @reuben_J: I am well aware going up is optional, I was not aware blessings are not practiced everywhere. Individual blessings have been available during communion in all the Catholic churches I have been to.

@on_the_hill: Personally I haven’t felt judged for not going up.

@DaveBj: It’s easy for someone to miss my previous response in a > 100 message thread. I have no hard feelings from my side.
 
joeybaggz said:
40.png
Gorgias:
The CDF seems to have said that not only is it “not mandated”, but that it’s not normative at all!
Click to expand...
CDF said that?, before or after Et Unam Sint by Pope St. John Paul II?
Click to expand...
After. 2008, it looks like, and Ut unam sint is from 1995.

Either way, though, I think it’s immaterial, on two counts:
  • First, the Pope is permitted to modify the liturgy at his own discretion. The right to do so proceeds from his office as the pope, after all! In any case, this does not mean that what the pope does in liturgy, we are permitted to do. Unless he formally makes a change, the initiative is his and his alone.
  • Second, his references to giving blessings at communion time are for a specific purpose – as a show of unity at a Mass dedicated to ecumenism. There’s nothing there that suggests that it become a regular part of the Mass – anywhere!
So, although he talks about these in UUS, in paragraph 72, he doesn’t say that they should become a norm. (Unless I’ve missed something…?)
 
Gorgias said:
So, although he talks about these in UUS , in paragraph 72, he doesn’t say that they should become a norm. (Unless I’ve missed something…?)
Click to expand...
I think that is how much of what has evolved today had its start. Someone tinkering with the rules.
As a matter of fact, I just read today in a Washington, D.C. newspaper, that the archdiocese of Baltimore is going to allow Catholic Marriage ceremonies outside Catholic Church buildings in an effort to make the religion more relatable to millennials and their preferences. It has also been unofficially done in other dioceses according to the paper. Hey, some more tinkering. Ought to bring about a firestorm from the conservatives. We’ll see.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top