I’m not able to identify which post was “blasting,” although one or two were honestly critical. Lindaloulee, it is admirable that you are being so honest and especially that you obviously desire union with God - one that is right now being frustrated by your circumstance. But I think it is important to remind you - the great sadness of not being able to partake of the Eucharist is NOT the main problem.
Remember the reason why you are not able to receive. It is because morally speaking, your husband’s first marriage is presumed to be the valid one, and yours is not. Unfortunately, this means that if you are having a physical relationship, then you and he are committing adultery, which is a grave sin. Of course, in this case, it is probably difficult to look at this particular sin and see a victim, like you do with sins of violence. But the reality is that serious sins separate us from God, often completely. Because sin is not just about being good to other people, but it is also hurting our relationship with God, and committing mortal sin effectively destroys that relationship. I don’t mean to use the word “hell” because I want to be judgemental. But the Church teaches us that a person who dies in a state of mortal sin risks going to hell.
So while not being able to receive the Eucharist is certainly troubling, it is not the end game. Lack of unity with the Eucharist is really just a sign, a foreshadowing, or a warning even, of the complete separation from God that you risk if you should die in a state of mortal sin. Yes, a person can go through their life committing mortal sin after mortal sin, and abstaining from the Eucharist so as not to profane the sacrament. But what good will that do the person when they die? When they meet God face to face, and are held accountable for their life, is it good enough to say, “Yes Lord, I committed mortal sins repeatedly and without penance, but at least I didn’t receive communion.” ? In fact, it is a precept of the Church that Catholics receive communion once a year, so even that would be problematic. So that’s the crux of it - it is difficult not to receive holy communion, but eternal punishment is much, much worse than that. The Church’s rules are set up to reflect that, and to motivate us to return to His Will.
That said, I want to be clear - I am not judging your soul. I can not possibly know if your sins are mortal sins, and what fate you might have if you died tomorrow. That is God’s knowledge only. But I can tell you objectively about grave sins, and I know that if I were in a situation where my actions caused me to be separated from the Eucharist, I would be much more worried about my eternal union with God than about my union with Him at Mass. I would urge you to seek the counsel of your priest to help make things right. Whether it is to go ahead and get the annulment for your husband (if it is possible), or whether it is to talk to your priest about living as brother and sister, or whether there is another answer, I don’t know. But I know that there is always another option than being separated from God. I will pray for you that this is resolved in the best way possible.
