Unclear about attending Non Catholic Events in my family

[Myhouse]

I was wondering if anyone could help me with a issue that keep presenting itself. My husband and I are Catholic. He is from a large family. They are not Catholic. It has becoming a little difficult as there children our baptized, married so forth. I feel uncomfortable attending these events because I don’t think that it goes along with my Catholic faith. There was a time when they gave me alot of trouble about being Catholic. I was offended but as I pulled back and did not engage in there conversation and lack of knowledge about the church they did not go there with me anymore. My niece and nephew were baptized this past weekend. It was not at a church but at someones house. They have there own church so to speak. A group of people who have not been happy with there church have decided to meet on Sundays. The kids were baptized by there parents. There is not a pastor. They had bread and juice for communion. I did not participate in this because I know that this is not something that I should do. It was an uncomfortable time and I felt that it was not a situation I wanted to be in. The problem arises that if I did not go I would be hurting the feelings of my niece and nephew and possibly presenting a problem with there parents. This will become more of a happening as all of his sisters are from different churches with different beliefs and there children will being marrying so forth. Its a touchy situation I am in because we have had some rough times in the past with being seen as thinking “we think were better than others” Could use some good advice. Thanks

 

[thenewmrssears]

I can understand your concerns to an extent.

My husband isn’t Catholic. He’s Lutheran. Most of my sorority sisters are also Luthern, as I went to a Lutheran college. Some of my friends are from other faiths or no faith at all.

I still attend each person’s important events out of support of them not their faith. One can be supportive and love a friend but not the religion they choose if they have any at all.

My husband’s parents were less than thrilled to find out I was Catholic in the beginning, and it was the cause of some hard feelings…however, I appreciate that they have faith, and I respect it in their house. When I visit with them I go to Lutheran church and do not take communion.

I hate the idea that as Catholics we cannot embrace others because of their choices. I think sometimes it gets lost.

Love the sinner but not the sin I say. I think this applies to anything from disagreements to actual sins.

 

[kage_ar]

If the children were baptized in the Trinitarian Formula (Name of the Father, Son and Holy Ghost) - that was a valid baptism.

If none of the parties are Catholic and are free to marry (not married and legally divorced from someone else), non-Catholics are not bound by the Catholic laws of marriage so those weddings would be valid.

Not drinking the grape juice/eating wonder bread - exactly the right thing to do.

Is your husband Catholic? ETA I see you say he is.

Keep being a beacon of Catholic love - and sometimes, make other plans!

 

[puzzleannie]

if they are not Catholic you can and should attend their milestone events in their church. If they use that as an occasion to bash your religion, your husband should say he will not stand for that disrespect to his wife. It might cause a problem if Catholics in the family were celebrating their milestones, marriages etc., in a non-Catholic Church, but there is no reason for you not to attend otherwise.

love the sinner hate the sin does not apply in the case of a non-Catholic celebrating events according to the dictates of their own religion, so that does not even arise.

 

[jmcrae]

First, I don’t think people are required to attend absolutely every event that occurs in the lives of their nieces and nephews - my uncles and aunts never did, and I certainly don’t, with mine.

I think it’s perfectly acceptable for an Aunt who isn’t considered a “favourite” to be “too busy” and to wish them congratulations/best of luck/whatever seems appropriate under the circumstances.

 

[Nanny_PK]

I think for the sake of family unity you should attend – provided they’re not using the occasion to slam you and your religious preferences. Just go, smile, be polite, and have fun celebrating their event. Most of my friends are protestants since I only returned to the Church three years ago. I attend their family functions just as I would hope they would attend mine.

 

[Rawb]

First, I don’t think people are required to attend absolutely every event that occurs in the lives of their nieces and nephews - my uncles and aunts never did, and I certainly don’t, with mine.

In some families that may be ok, but in other’s it definitaly is not. If one of my aunts or uncles didn’t come to one of my functions or we didn’t attend a function of my neices or nephews, then there would be questions as to why.

To the OP, the rule of thumb I go by is if the Sacrament being administered is valid. Yes, then I’ll go. No? Then I won’t.

Of course these services don’t negate our Sunday obligations, and we cannot participate in their Communion.

 

[noclevername]

I am attending RCIA classes and some of the responses in this post are very confusing to me. I learned the other night in class that everyone will have the opportnity to learn about salvation and how to get to heaven. (I can’t remember the exact vocabulary so please bear wtih me) The way I understood it is EVERYONE will have a chance at salvation, not just Catholics. So they way I interpreted that is that all religions are doing the right thing even though they might be doing it a little differently it still reaches the same goal. So, with that in mind, why does it matter what church you attend so witness baptisms and weddings? They are all working towards salvation so there should be no problem with it. No one is denying God or worshipping the devil so I don’t understand the delimma.

 

[jmcrae]

I am attending RCIA classes and some of the responses in this post are very confusing to me. I learned the other night in class that everyone will have the opportnity to learn about salvation and how to get to heaven. (I can’t remember the exact vocabulary so please bear wtih me) The way I understood it is EVERYONE will have a chance at salvation, not just Catholics.

Once we get to Heaven, everyone will know the truth of the Catholic faith. Some will have become Catholic during this life, and others won’t find out until the moment of death.

So they way I interpreted that is that all religions are doing the right thing even though they might be doing it a little differently it still reaches the same goal.

No, that’s not accurate. Jesus established the Catholic Church for a good reason - if any religion is okay, there would have been no reason for Jesus to come and die for our sins, and certainly no reason for Him to give us the Catholic Church.

There are elements of truth in every religion (even if all they agree on is that the sky is blue) but only the Catholic Church has the fulness of truth.

 

[noclevername]

No, that’s not accurate. Jesus established the Catholic Church for a good reason - if any religion is okay, there would have been no reason for Jesus to come and die for our sins, and certainly no reason for Him to give us the Catholic Church.

There are elements of truth in every religion (even if all they agree on is that the sky is blue) but only the Catholic Church has the fulness of truth.

Will you please show me where it says in the Bible that Jesus established the Catholic Church? Jesus was a Jew and a profit and a teacher and a healer and the Messiah. I don’t remember learning that he established the Catholic church or any church for that matter.

And Jesus died on the Cross for all of our sins, not just Catholic sins.

I am more confused now.

 

[jmcrae]

Will you please show me where it says in the Bible that Jesus established the Catholic Church?

Matthew 16:18-19; Matthew 28:16-20; Acts 1-2.

And Jesus died on the Cross for all of our sins, not just Catholic sins.

When we get baptized into Christ’s Church (which is the Catholic Church), the blood of the Cross washes all of our sins away. Anybody can become a Catholic; Christ’s Church is open to the whole world - all they have to do is join.

 

[noclevername]

Matthew 16:18-19; Matthew 28:16-20; Acts 1-2.

This says Jesus told Peter to build the church on the rock but Jesus doesn’t say to build the Catholic church. It just says church.

When we get baptized into Christ’s Church (which is the Catholic Church), the blood of the Cross washes all of our sins away. Anybody can become a Catholic; Christ’s Church is open to the whole world - all they have to do is join.

I was baptized in the Methodist church and it had the exact same meaning as you described it above.

 

[kage_ar]

This says Jesus told Peter to build the church on the rock but Jesus doesn’t say to build the Catholic church. It just says church.

At the risk of heading more off topic…

Matt 16 (bold mine):

17 Jesus said to him in reply, "Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah. For flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my heavenly Father. 18 And so I say to you, you are Peter, and upon this rock*** I* will build my church,********

---

Second, Peter with the other Apostles became the first Bishops. The Church they began was commonly called Catholic in surviving writings from 60 years after the death of Christ (see Ignatius Letter to the Smyrnaeans).

History is clear, Christ started a Church, and before the Apostles died, that Church was named the Catholic Church.

 

[jmcrae]

This says Jesus told Peter to build the church on the rock but Jesus doesn’t say to build the Catholic church. It just says church.

There was only one. For more than a thousand years, there was only the Catholic Church.

I was baptized in the Methodist church and it had the exact same meaning as you described it above.

The Methodist Church was started by John and Charles Wesley, some time around 1735. It is, by a process of elimination, therefore not the Church that Christ started, when He gave the Keys to St. Peter.

 

[noclevername]

You can believe what you want and I’ll believe what I want. My whole point was that all churches believe in Salvation and are working towards the same goal and that there is no reason someone shouldn’t attend ceremonies of other denominations. It’s very disrespectful to think you are better than others. If this is what Catholism is about, I’m not sure I want to be a part of it. I want to be able to attend weddings and funerals and baptisms of my family and friends.

 

[kage_ar]

You can believe what you want and I’ll believe what I want. My whole point was that all churches believe in Salvation and are working towards the same goal .

The Catholic Church has the fullness of faith. Yes, there are Christians in other groups, however, they do not have the fullness of Christ.

What is your reason for converting if you do not feel the Catholic Church is the fullness of truth?

and that there is no reason someone shouldn’t attend ceremonies of other denominations. It’s very disrespectful to think you are better than others. If this is what Catholism is about, I’m not sure I want to be a part of it. I want to be able to attend weddings and funerals and baptisms of my family and friends.

No one has said that Catholics are not allowed to attend weddings and funerals and baptisms. Catholics are NOT allowed to take communion of any sort at congregations who are not on full communion with the Catholic Church.

Catholics are discoruaged from attending invalid weddings (non-Catholics can and do enter valid marriages. When you start talking about invalid weddings, that is a thread in itself), but, that is a matter between each Catholic and her confessor.

We can pray and sing with others, as long as we do not substitute those services for our obligation to attend Mass.