Unclear Phrasing in Reconciliation

[jbrotherhood17]

Hello! I went to Reconciliation today and confessed a sin, though I am not sure I was 100% honest about it. The circumstances of the sin were that I was with a friend of mine and she wanted to watch a movie that I had never seen, and I agreed to watch it; the movie turned out to have intense pornographic material and I did not look away nor did I do anything to stop it. In confessing the sin, my goal was to phrase it in an honest, concise, and clear fashion, and the words I used were “some of my friends were watching pornographic material and I did not look away or put an end to it.” My concern is that I said “some” of my friends instead of “one” of my friends, and that this may have made the sin sound like something it wasn’t, which crossed my mind as I was saying it. Even if it didn’t misrepresent the sin, I am concerned that I was not fully honest about the circumstances. Is this an issue? I am known to be scrupulous, so maybe this is just me overthinking it. Any thoughts or guidance would be so appreciated. Thank you and God bless!

 

[Mtatum1958]

If you have known to be scrupulous, no answer will probably relieve you, talk to the priest within or outside confession.

 

[Lee1]

Things are often not as crucial as you might think, God knows your heart, peace be with you.

 

[Maximilian75]

No.

You had no intent to deceive, from what you have written here.

Be at peace.

 

[Blessedwithfive]

I think the correct wording would be “I watched a pornographic movie with a friend and did not look away.” I sounds to me like you are not taking the blame for the sin…just my opinion. for next time…

 

[Sbee0]

I struggle with scrupulousness too.

I was told by a priest that as long as you are genuinely repentant and weren’t deliberately trying to deceive your confessor either by lying or omitting key detail in order to gain absolution… then your confession is valid even if you made a mistake in wording or said something that came out the wrong way. Which I’ve done.

God knows what was in your heart and knows whether you are repentant or not.

If it bothers you it doesn’t hurt to mention it in your next confession so you can have peace about it.

 

[Irishmom2]

I am not sure it really matters whether it was “one of my friends”, or “some of my friends” or whether it was “I was watching and didn’t look away…”

You confessed it and were forgiven. Be at peace. God knows your heart better than you do.

 

[therese1998]

I think it’s an insignificant detail that doesn’t prove guilt or another sin (omission or deceit) and that you are being too scrupulous.

God isn’t a bean counter. He isn’t sitting at a giant table with a giant pile of beans and a set of scales, scrupulously matching beans to “good one” and “bad one”. Try to envision Him more as a Father watching His beloved child play. He knows the heart, the mind, the abilities and all of the life experiences that child has had which influence feelings and actions. He loves the child and wants the best for that child. How does He react when that child misbehaves. Is He harsh, stern and judgmental or is He loving, guiding and gentle? No father, no matter how loving and gentle, will allow them to stray into harmful territory. But they do not beat the beloved child into correctness but rather model, guide and praise that child to WANT to be the best they can be.

This was advice given to me by both priests and laypeople whom I admire and has helped me through my own phase of scrupulosity. I am paying it forward to you Be well!