Uncomfortable with EMHC singling me out during communion

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marywarfield

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Am I being too picky? We have a ton of EMHCs at our tiny church who rotate daily. But there is one in particular who insists on using my name when giving me the Host at Mass. And I seem to be the only one she does this with. Other than that, she doesn’t speak to me, pretty much ignores me.
I admit I am of the old fashioned flavor of preferring not to have EMHCs at our Mass, especially considering we have only a total of about 600 parishioners, and many Masses only maybe have fifty people at them max. But I don’t argue it- I leave those decisions to the priest. But I find it extremely distracting to have EMHC calling my attention to her directly by using my name. Because that is what happens. When she uses my name, I stop contemplating and begin immediately thinking about HER.
Ideas? Let it go? what?
 
marywarfield said:
Am I being too picky? We have a ton of EMHCs at our tiny church who rotate daily. But there is one in particular who insists on using my name when giving me the Host at Mass. And I seem to be the only one she does this with. Other than that, she doesn’t speak to me, pretty much ignores me.
I admit I am of the old fashioned flavor of preferring not to have EMHCs at our Mass, especially considering we have only a total of about 600 parishioners, and many Masses only maybe have fifty people at them max. But I don’t argue it- I leave those decisions to the priest. But I find it extremely distracting to have EMHC calling my attention to her directly by using my name. Because that is what happens. When she uses my name, I stop contemplating and begin immediately thinking about HER.
Ideas? Let it go? what?
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I would just pull your parish priest aside quietly and tell him that you have had the experience as you told it here, (without mentioning this EMHC specifically by name), and let him know you find it distracting to your receiving communion.

Dont bring it up in an accusatory or judgemental tone, but more of informing him of it.

Hopefully he will handle it with the person who is head of the minisrty
 
As Marie noted you need to pull your pastor aside and let him know this in a calm and collective manner. An EMHC is only suppose to say “The Body of Christ” if they have hosts or “The Blood of Christ” if they have the chalice. Nothing is to be added to this, not even a name.
 
If she knows your opinions about overusing EMHCs, then I suspect she’s trying to rub your nose in it. THAT would be irritating.

It can turn into a circus, when people let their service to the Church turn into a little social power trip. Count that as another thing that drove me away. Then, if you go to the priest, it makes you look like a petty tattletale. I see crud like this in the workplace too. Sooooo annoying!
 
I would just make a point of receiving from the priest. Problem solved…

Peace
James
 
Let it go. The EMHC just happens to know your name. 😉 There is an EMHC at Daily Mass who says my name. She asked me it a couple of times. She barely talks to me other than that. Kind of nice, isn’t it, until somebody a: names everyone except you. b.: persistently calls you by the wrong name?
 
When I was in college, the priest (who I still admire) would almost always say the name of the person if he knew his/her name when distributing communion. It is against protocol to do so, however, the EMHC probably means well.
 
Why not simply tell her that it makes you uncomfortable and ask her not to do it any more?
 
JRKH said:
I would just make a point of receiving from the priest. Problem solved…

Peace
James
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This choice 1^^^^^
felsguy said:
Why not simply tell her that it makes you uncomfortable and ask her not to do it any more?
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This choice 2^^^^
ccmcmg said:
Hmmmm, today, the priest did not distribute communion beyond the EMs.
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This is an abuse and should not happen unless the priest is truly unable because of illness or physical reason.

If there are just 50 people at the Mass, realy there is no need for anyone but to distribute the Chalice if both species are offerred.
 
Thank you everybody. The answers are pretty much what I expected.
We are a tiny parish like I said and most of the parishioners have been
Here their whole lives and went to school together and their parents
Built the church and the parish not diocese owns it still. So everyone
Is very set in their ways so I try not to complain about stuff as a newbie
Only having been in this parish ten years. Lol. Knowing her and the parish
I think the best option is do nothing and if she is EM and it’s bothering
Me I might switch lines. I’m not that find of the overload of EMs but
Switching lines always seemed like an insult to Christ as He never changes
No matter whose hand He’s in but in this case I’m sure He will understand
Lol. I just don’t want to go all confrontational about it.
 
JRKH said:
I believe this is an abuse is it not?

Peace
James
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We attended a nearby parish instead of our own yesterday. This was our former parish, where I had visited many years ago with the archdiocese about various liturgical abuses; most of them have been rectified (years later), but new ones have arisen.

The priest did a number of things out of the ordinary (including holding hands with the altar boys during the Lord’s Prayer), which is why we had left this parish many years ago. We thought it had been corrected, which is why we attended yesterday.

As for Communion, this priest distributed part of the Eucharist to some of the EMs, but then sat down for the remainder. It appeared that one of the EMs had a chair for him to sit in to distribute communion, but he did not use it. He also sat during a number of parts of Mass where the congregation was standing. He also changed some wordings in parts of the Mass (not to the older version, and definitely not the new version); he did not use the prescribed Gospel reading, although two versions are available in my own lectionary workbook, he used neither of those, but instead, just the Prodigal Son portion.

I do not know if this was their regular priest, or a substitute, but it reminded me that my parish does have somewhat of an embarrassment of riches with at least two deacons and three priests (only one full time; others are assistants or associates with duties at other parishes/schools as well), and they all follow the rules to the letter. He was an older priest (70??).
 
The EMHC shouldn’t be using your name. It doesn’t matter what her motives are, she shouldn’t be doing it. She isn’t supposed to add anything to the words in the Mass. Her motives, whatever, they are seem to lack charity; another reason this shouldn’t happen. Inform the priest this is happening. Just inform him matter-of-factly. In future avoid receiving Communion from this same EMHC. Then even if the priest doesn’t do anything about it you can avoid receiving from her.
 
I wonder how long she’s been an EMHC. There was a point where I was one and we were trained to say the person’s name. It was a bad idea then and it’s still a bad idea because it means that those who are known are treated differently from those who are strangers and that should never be the case. I would approach the pastor and mention this and hope than the next time there is a meeting or training of the EMHCs, that it’s made clear that this is to stop.
 
“The Body of Christ” or “The Blood of Chrsit” (if you have both species - we never do) are the only words the EMHC should utter. That’s it.
 
Phemie said:
I wonder how long she’s been an EMHC. There was a point where I was one and we were trained to say the person’s name.
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I’ve wondered about that – I’ve heard a few EMHCs do the same, on occasion. Even if that’s not the case, it doesn’t mean she has bad motives in using the OPs name. She just needs to be told – by the priest, or the person in charge of the Extraordinary Ministers – that it shouldn’t be done.
 
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