K
Kyson
Guest
My brothers and sisters, I think I have bitten off more than can I chew, so I sincerely ask for your prayers.
So, for one reason or another, I have been able to go to Confession recently and receive Holy Communion more frecuently after a long time… I stumbled upon again with the St Michael’s Chaplet, and the devotion to the Holy Angels and our Guardian Angels, so I thought, why not starting taking it more seriously, as I am receiving now Holy Communion, which entails responsability (avoid sinning altogether, at least mortal), and asking for extra protection (I was prone to scruples and such and to bad spells of sadness)…
so, along with the Divine Mercy Chaplet, I started praying daily the Chaplet, praying to my Guardian Angel and offering my bit of work of the day so my angel can offer a pleasing sacrifice to the Lord(I really struggle with that) and when I bring myself to do it, I pray the Rosary at night, along with other prayers, like the litany of trust…
I understood that all won’t be full of sunshine, but well, it has been shortlived. Last night I was reading about the virtue of solitude and silence… and all of sudden, when I finished reading, a heartache striked me and I shed bitter tears for no reason, it was like that terrible fear again, fear of this being too hard, fear of what is asked, fear of the persecution that every voice cry out as a necessity, fear of loneliness and despair, fear of spiritual attacks and what could happen, fear of condemnation for not living up to it and fear of falling again… so I curled up and went to sleep, praying no more.
Sounds no good, no good, no good. Fear not comes from the Lord, and I don’t like at all what this means if this is some sort of a warning for something. No good, no good. It is not like if I have a strong habit of prayer, for crying out loud, if I struggled to say only a morning prayer! Yet all this grace of prayer, Sacraments and Holy Communion all of sudden has become more than can I chew. I don’t want to think badly of this and be superstitious attributing everything to evil and not to a trial for my own good, but I feel really weak and helpless, even if my faith knows that’s not true.
Please, pray for me so I can persevere if I have to keep walking through the valley of death, or if it’s God’s Will, be protected against harm.
I will be praying for you, too. Peace be with you and have a blessed Christmas everyone.
So, for one reason or another, I have been able to go to Confession recently and receive Holy Communion more frecuently after a long time… I stumbled upon again with the St Michael’s Chaplet, and the devotion to the Holy Angels and our Guardian Angels, so I thought, why not starting taking it more seriously, as I am receiving now Holy Communion, which entails responsability (avoid sinning altogether, at least mortal), and asking for extra protection (I was prone to scruples and such and to bad spells of sadness)…
so, along with the Divine Mercy Chaplet, I started praying daily the Chaplet, praying to my Guardian Angel and offering my bit of work of the day so my angel can offer a pleasing sacrifice to the Lord(I really struggle with that) and when I bring myself to do it, I pray the Rosary at night, along with other prayers, like the litany of trust…
I understood that all won’t be full of sunshine, but well, it has been shortlived. Last night I was reading about the virtue of solitude and silence… and all of sudden, when I finished reading, a heartache striked me and I shed bitter tears for no reason, it was like that terrible fear again, fear of this being too hard, fear of what is asked, fear of the persecution that every voice cry out as a necessity, fear of loneliness and despair, fear of spiritual attacks and what could happen, fear of condemnation for not living up to it and fear of falling again… so I curled up and went to sleep, praying no more.
Sounds no good, no good, no good. Fear not comes from the Lord, and I don’t like at all what this means if this is some sort of a warning for something. No good, no good. It is not like if I have a strong habit of prayer, for crying out loud, if I struggled to say only a morning prayer! Yet all this grace of prayer, Sacraments and Holy Communion all of sudden has become more than can I chew. I don’t want to think badly of this and be superstitious attributing everything to evil and not to a trial for my own good, but I feel really weak and helpless, even if my faith knows that’s not true.
Please, pray for me so I can persevere if I have to keep walking through the valley of death, or if it’s God’s Will, be protected against harm.
I will be praying for you, too. Peace be with you and have a blessed Christmas everyone.