Under What Conditions Should People Divorce?

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When the marriage is invalid and one of the parties is seriously endangering the physical or spiritual health of his spouse or one of his children.

If the marriage is valid then the spouses should separate and attempt to reconcile. If no reconciliation is possible and the issues of spiritual and physical danger continue then the aggrieved spouse should seek a civil divorce in order to protect him or herself and any children. However, they cannot remarry.

EDIT: Oh, one caveat. If the marriage is invalid it’s preferable that the couple try to work it out first, and then have the marriage made valid.
 
Well, technically divorce is to be avoided if at all possible. After all, marriage is for life (“until death do us part”) and it is a mortal sin to date or “marry” other people while your spouse is still living. An annulment says that a marriage never took place, so if an annulment were granted that person would have never been your spouse in the first place.

But some examples where separation/divorce could be necessary, at least for a while, would be physical abuse, emotional abuse, etc.

Remember, even in bad situations, the abuse has nothing to do with the validity of the marriage because the validity of the marriage is determined by what happened at the time the vows were said, not afterward.

The best suggestion would be to get marital counselling to help resolve your problems. And preferable get a counselor who is a practicing Catholic and shares your values about marriage. With non-Catholics I’ve heard cases where a couple went in to resolve their marriage and the counselor just told them to get a divorce. Leaving will not solve your problems! In fact, the more divorces you have, the less likely your next marriage will last because you bring your unresolved problems with you into your new marriage.

If you are being abused, you should call the police and also get a restraining order until your spouse has had anger management classes and can learn how to be part of a family again.
 
Catholic couples should never consider divorce should not even allow the possibility to arise. Divorce is forbidden, it is objectively sinful. However the Church does allow couples to separate in cases where the marriage has irretrievably broken down (i.e. one party has left already) or to secure the safety and rights of the spouses and children (cases of abuse, if one party has already started proceedings). Civil divorce does not end a valid marriage. In some countries, like the US, divorce may be the only choice when one party decides to leave a marriage, or where there is abuse, for instance, as legal separation is no longer a possibility in most states and does not protect assets.
 
If one spouse is abusive and causing danger to either the spouse or children it is not safe to stay in that marriage.In that case you would seek the advice of your priest and leave or get the spouse to leave the marital home.All measures would be taken to save the marriage but the safety of yourself and children are first to be secured.As far as divorce goes, if the spouse seeks to divorce you that is not your fault.
 
Divorce is generally disapproved of by the church and the bible, which states that it should only be done in the case of adultery.
Matthew 5:32
But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.(NIV)
Hope this helped
 
WetCatechumen said:
Oh, one caveat. If the marriage is invalid it’s preferable that the couple try to work it out first, and then have the marriage made valid.
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If they discover they were siblings or uncle and niece without knowing it, they cannot.

If it is not valid due to “lack of full consent” it probably is valid, since that is so over used.

If it is not valid due to lack of will to procreate, you are right, they should try to work it out and procreate. Unless they married at twenty and then used condoms for forty years, in that case a “wife” of such a couple might do well to become a penitent and her husband to marry someone younger. At least if lack of will to procreate was imposed by her.

If marriage is invalid because one partner was Catholic or even both and they married outside Catholic Church, indeed they could very well try to work it out.
 
tbcrawford said:
If one spouse is abusive and causing danger to either the spouse or children it is not safe to stay in that marriage.In that case you would seek the advice of your priest and leave or get the spouse to leave the marital home.All measures would be taken to save the marriage but the safety of yourself and children are first to be secured.As far as divorce goes, if the spouse seeks to divorce you that is not your fault.
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just some questions about a specific case: Are physical problems related to the stress of the marriage (heart problems, exhaustion, sadness), which occur fairly often but still occasionally, a good reason to want to avoid contact? Are spiritual problems arising from the marriage like habitual anger or vindictiveness a good enough reason for trying to avoid a partner?
 
fakename said:
just some questions about a specific case: Are physical problems related to the stress of the marriage (heart problems, exhaustion, sadness), which occur fairly often but still occasionally, a good reason to want to avoid contact? Are spiritual problems arising from the marriage like habitual anger or vindictiveness a good enough reason for trying to avoid a partner?
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they are not reasons for divorce but certainly urgent signals professional counselling is in order.
 
fakename said:
just some questions about a specific case: Are physical problems related to the stress of the marriage (heart problems, exhaustion, sadness), which occur fairly often but still occasionally, a good reason to want to avoid contact? Are spiritual problems arising from the marriage like habitual anger or vindictiveness a good enough reason for trying to avoid a partner?
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Without us knowing (nor should we)your full private details of your marriage we cannot and should not really offer advice.However,I would seek to speak to my priest about this in full confidence,if not my own priest another priest.Abuse may take many forms and harm us mentally or physically in many ways.On these forums it is a great opportunity for us to befriend one another and share our joys and woes prayerfully.Unfortunately we are not qualified nor have the skills to have all the answers.If you are suffering ill health from your marriage in any way please go and see yours or another priest.You will get good honest advice.I know from first hand experience that you must be safe and if you have children they too must be safe.I will keep you in my prayers dear one.May God bless you

Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen
 
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