Underage drinking question

  • Thread starter Thread starter _L
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
L

_L

Guest
I was at a friends Barbecue today, we are all 18-19 yrs old, the people there were either non catholic or nominal catholic, naturally my friend had beer there much to my dismay, because i hate being in those environments, I did not drink any because it would be wrong considering im underage, but at one point one of my friends came up from behind where i was sitting and asked me to pass him his beer which was on the table in front of me, and I passed it to him. Did I do something wrong here? at the time I didnt think this could be anything more than venial sin if that at all, in that moment i really was not sure what to do, was I supposed to get morally defensive and refuse to pass it to him? and simply make him walk around the couch to grab it? He wasn’t drunk or anything, and I didnt think he had any desire to get drunk although he and others proved me wrong later on in the afternoon…😦

Did I a commit a sin here in passing him his beer can? if so was it mortal or venial?

and how am I supposed to react in these social situations? this is the first time ive been around my friends when they have alcohol btw.
 
I’m sure someone more educated than me can tell you if it was a moral or venial sin.

BUT, I don’t think you’ve given consideration to the fact that their activity was illegal. Where did they get the alcohol? And did any one drive after the BBQ that had been drinking?

My cousin got arrested when she was underage for just “holding” a beer for someone, wasn’t drinking or anything.

So I think I would give a second, third and even a fourth thought to being around your friends when alcohol is present.
 
I’m almost positive that would not be even a venial sin. You were not in anyway consenting to sin, you were simply passing a can. A different action by you, such as making him walk around to get it, would have been rude and would not have changed the situation.

You might want to talk to your friends about their drinking (if you’re comfortable) and possibly re-think being in that kind of situation. But, at the time, you didn’t realize that they were getting drunk, and you certainly didn’t personally consent to sin.

In Christ,
Frank
 
This is something you should probably bring up with your Priest.

In my opinion it is overly scrupulous to even regard this as a sin; but perhaps this is a cultural thing – where I am from (England) anyone over 5 years old can consume alcahol legally at home or in their friends homes, a practice my Family has kept at least since I was a child.

However, the Catechism does encourage people to follow their local laws; and depending on the Legality in your area, you might want to speak to your Priest.

👍
 
_L said:
I was at a friends Barbecue today, we are all 18-19 yrs old, the people there were either non catholic or nominal catholic, naturally my friend had beer there much to my dismay, because i hate being in those environments, I did not drink any because it would be wrong considering im underage, but at one point one of my friends came up from behind where i was sitting and asked me to pass him his beer which was on the table in front of me, and I passed it to him. Did I do something wrong here? at the time I didnt think this could be anything more than venial sin if that at all, in that moment i really was not sure what to do, was I supposed to get morally defensive and refuse to pass it to him? and simply make him walk around the couch to grab it? He wasn’t drunk or anything, and I didnt think he had any desire to get drunk although he and others proved me wrong later on in the afternoon…😦

Did I a commit a sin here in passing him his beer can? if so was it mortal or venial?

and how am I supposed to react in these social situations? this is the first time ive been around my friends when they have alcohol btw.
Click to expand...
if i was a priest and you confessed to just passing a beer to your friend, i would probably tell you you did not commit a sin, but just to be sure you should confess it. the only reason it is a sin is because its against the law for a person under 21 to drink in this country, however if you were in Ireland or Canada where the drinking age is lower it would not be a sin because it is not against the law. also from my understanding it is not a sin to drink alcohol unless you have an intent to get drunk or actually do get drunk, remember that certain communities of Trappist monks even brew their own beer.
 
I appreciate the replies…

it really does annoy me that my friends associate fun with alcohol, but they’re really the only group of friends i have and I never get to see them unless its at a restaurant or movie where i know there wont be anything illegal going on. THey know where I stand morally so they dont try to get me to drink and usually dont invite me to these sort of gatherings but this was a rare occasion where i was invited because we were getting together to watch the world cup game with usa and england. I really didnt think they would want to get drunk considering i thought they actually wanted to concentrate on the game, like i said this was the first time ive been with them when they had been drinking so i had no idea what their habits were like.

I knew about the illegal aspect, and it entered my mind during that second when i passed him the beer, but i didnt consider it being “a big deal” on my part of simply passing him a can. I was more concerned that me passing the can could contribute to drunkeness which is intrinsically wrong as opposed to a civil law so i considered it more grave in nature. But at that point that was only his 2nd can and I had no idea he would go on to have like 4 more and do shots…😦 i really dont even know if he was drunk he seemed to act normal throughout the afternoon…

The sad thing was that my friends mom who was at the house when all this went on seemed to consent to this sort of thing going on. i left as soon as the game was over, but i heard them mention several times that someone needed to remain sober so they could be the designated driver. I got picked up because i dont have my own car, and i sure as heck would not let any of them drive me home regardless of them being intoxicated or not.

So thats about it really, I didnt want to pass him the beer so much as I didnt want to appear rude or socially inept by not granting the simple request. i guess ill go to confession next satruday regardless, its been a few months anyway, im just afraid the priest will laugh at me if i attempt to confess this… 🤷
 
_L said:
I appreciate the replies…

it really does annoy me that my friends associate fun with alcohol, but they’re really the only group of friends i have and I never get to see them unless its at a restaurant or movie where i know there wont be anything illegal going on. THey know where I stand morally so they dont try to get me to drink and usually dont invite me to these sort of gatherings but this was a rare occasion where i was invited because we were getting together to watch the world cup game with usa and england. I really didnt think they would want to get drunk considering i thought they actually wanted to concentrate on the game, like i said this was the first time ive been with them when they had been drinking so i had no idea what their habits were like.

I knew about the illegal aspect, and it entered my mind during that second when i passed him the beer, but i didnt consider it being “a big deal” on my part of simply passing him a can. I was more concerned that me passing the can could contribute to drunkeness which is intrinsically wrong as opposed to a civil law so i considered it more grave in nature. But at that point that was only his 2nd can and I had no idea he would go on to have like 4 more and do shots…😦 i really dont even know if he was drunk he seemed to act normal throughout the afternoon…

The sad thing was that my friends mom who was at the house when all this went on seemed to consent to this sort of thing going on. i left as soon as the game was over, but i heard them mention several times that someone needed to remain sober so they could be the designated driver. I got picked up because i dont have my own car, and i sure as heck would not let any of them drive me home regardless of them being intoxicated or not.

So thats about it really, I didnt want to pass him the beer so much as I didnt want to appear rude or socially inept by not granting the simple request. i guess ill go to confession next satruday regardless, its been a few months anyway, im just afraid the priest will laugh at me if i attempt to confess this… 🤷
Click to expand...
its really kind of a culture thing though, like i live in new orleans so for a parent to give his or her child (like 17 or 18 no younger than that) a beer or glass of wine its socially acceptable (it has nothing to do with the party reputation i swear). its still technaly against the law, but even cops do that stuff with their kids. now dont missunderstand, parets dont get their kids drunk, they have a beer with a tray of crawfish or a glass of wine not more than that.
 
I’m saying this to be kind. In order to make it through life, you’re really going to have to lighten up and stop worrying so much about these things. It sounds to me like you might have a problem with OCD. I had it at one point in my life, and I have gotten better for the most part. You handed someone a beer. In Europe you wouldn’t even be breaking a law. You didn’t have bad intentions. If you had driven drunk or had allowed someone to drive drunk, then you would have an issue.
 
_L said:
and how am I supposed to react in these social situations? this is the first time ive been around my friends when they have alcohol btw.
Click to expand...
As gently as possible, I want to suggest that perhaps it’s time for you to expand your horizons and make some different friends.

Does your parish have a Youth Group that you could join?
 
This may sound a bit harsh, but I think you need to reflect on your concern for a group of guys getting together to drink beer and watch a game. Technically, yes, it is illegal to drink before 21. Just be aware that 1) it is largely ignored past high school and 2) in one to two years, it will be legal, and all the same people will be doing the same thing, with or without you.

I am not saying by any stretch to drink or encourage underage drinking. However, it may be advisable for you to start getting comfortable with the idea of social drinking. Happens worldwide, for centuries. You just happen to be in one of the few countries where 18 and 19 year olds are “underage”.
 
jmcrae said:
As gently as possible, I want to suggest that perhaps it’s time for you to expand your horizons and make some different friends.

Does your parish have a Youth Group that you could join?
Click to expand...
these kids are not bad because they drink (if they were smoking pot that would be different) but to understand what i think look at my previous post and the below post
PassingThru said:
This may sound a bit harsh, but I think you need to reflect on your concern for a group of guys getting together to drink beer and watch a game. Technically, yes, it is illegal to drink before 21. Just be aware that 1) it is largely ignored past high school and 2) in one to two years, it will be legal, and all the same people will be doing the same thing, with or without you.

I am not saying by any stretch to drink or encourage underage drinking. However, it may be advisable for you to start getting comfortable with the idea of social drinking. Happens worldwide, for centuries. You just happen to be in one of the few countries where 18 and 19 year olds are “underage”.
Click to expand...
 
VetA said:
these kids are not bad because they drink (if they were smoking pot that would be different)…
Click to expand...
Can’t really agree with that entirely.

What makes a person bad is when they can’t control their desires for pleasures created by God and start causing negative consequences for themselves or other people. At least that is how it is with my friends. 🙂

To the OP: Your friend was going to drink regardless of you handing him the beer. You didn’t obtain or pay for the beer thus you were not part of their activities. By all means confession is very good, but i doubt this is something to worry about.

Also if you have problems with the activities of your friends, then maybe you should find new/more friends. I have a wide range of friends. Some drink, some smoke, some don’t do anything like that, some are chaste, others are not, some play video games, others don’t, etc. They don’t force me to abide by their life choices and neither do I. Thus with the things with have in common we enjoy each others company and have a good time.
 
I can speak about the law in Ontario. The law governing alcohol, ther Liquor Licence Act, regarding private consumption of alcohol isn’t enforceable in private residences. Unless there are children in need of protection, there is no offence.

Serious.
 
VetA said:
these kids are not bad because they drink (if they were smoking pot that would be different) but to understand what i think look at my previous post and the below post
Click to expand...
If it had been only social drinking, I wouldn’t have had a problem with it, but it seems from the OP as if the boys were intentionally getting drunk and becoming rowdy. That’s a whole different situation than sitting around with a few beers, enjoying each other’s company while watching the game on TV.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top