Undermined by another mom

[PatriceA]

It sounds though like there is much more going on between you and this other mother, and that you butting heads with her just spilled into the situation that developed in the elevator. To me it sounds like you both had valid points. the obligation to abstain from meat doesn’t begin until the age of 14. It sounds like she and you are in some kind of power struggle, by just interrupting you to me it sounds like she knew you were going to bring the subject up and had already prepared a battle plan.

Maybe the point now is to disengage this woman in what ever kind of struggle that is going on between you two and take the higher road. I wouldn’t complain to the DRE, because if it is a battle this mother is waging, you just gave her more ammunition by complaining.

There are difficult people everywhere, and the games that were played on the middle school playground, just keep repeating themselves.

 

[57classic]

It sounds though like there is much more going on between you and this other mother, and that you butting heads with her just spilled into the situation that developed in the elevator. To me it sounds like you both had valid points. the obligation to abstain from meat doesn’t begin until the age of 14. It sounds like she and you are in some kind of power struggle, by just interrupting you to me it sounds like she knew you were going to bring the subject up and had already prepared a battle plan.

Maybe the point now is to disengage this woman in what ever kind of struggle that is going on between you two and take the higher road. I wouldn’t complain to the DRE, because if it is a battle this mother is waging, you just gave her more ammunition by complaining.

There are difficult people everywhere, and the games that were played on the middle school playground, just keep repeating themselves.

You are right there all the way around. Up to this point my frustrations with her have been in regard to 4-H. Unfortunately this trip couldn’t be planned for any day but Friday in order to tour the University while they were in session.

I do wonder what she is teaching in her religious ed class although she is teaching a 1st grade class not teenagers.

I also wonder what she would do if someone were to expound on the virtues, in their opinion, of legalized drugs or some other choice they consider inoccuous to a group of teen girls captured in a car for 4 hours.

I need to form a statement to her regarding her interference with my daughter’s formation. Expressing an opinion contrary to current Church dicipline to someone elses minor child is outragous. The other girls involved while both baptised Catholic and attend church and religious ed classes, each have one parent at home who is not Catholic, Lenten rules mean nothing to them. I know that is not my business and it would be gossip to go into any of it with the parents that is why I asked for advice in going to the DRE.

 

[EasterJoy]

Parents are bound to teach their kids about penance, but thirteen year olds are not bound to abstain from meat.

(For those who want the reference: Canon 1252 All persons who have completed their fourteenth year are bound by the law of abstinence; all adults are bound by the law of fast up to the beginning of their sixtieth year. Nevertheless, pastors and parents are to see to it that minors who are not bound by the law of fast and abstinence are educated in an authentic sense of penance.)

While it would have been nice for them to do so, the persons under 14 weren’t ethically bound to refrain from meat or the restaurants that had little else to offer, since the people bound to abstain were free to order differently and still eat with them. It would have been different if everyone had to choose a single restaurant in order to eat together, but they didn’t. That’s the beauty of food courts.

As for making a statement to the mother in question…well, I think this falls under the old maxim: Don’t try to teach a pig to sing. You just frustrate yourself and annoy the pig.

Rather, when you teach your daughter, I’d suggest teaching her why your opinion is not just your opinion, but what the Church teaches. If she chimes in with what the other mom says, just say, “It’s not my job to form her conscience; it’s my job to form yours. I’m not correcting her. I have plenty to do teaching you. When she asks my opinion, I’ll tell her what I know. Until then, she’s Father X’s sheep to herd, not mine. Besides, if it ever is my place to correct Mrs. M, I will do it in private and to her face, not behind her back or in front of you.”

As for catechism classes, if you approach the DRE, do it in the form of “it concerns me that my child’s teacher has taught her things in class that aren’t right, and the teacher doesn’t want to hear about it from me. Could you talk to her?” Save your “X” number of complaints before the DRE starts running the other way for stuff like that.

PS Were I the mom that asked you to watch after my daughter, I’d only expect you to remind her, “Your mom told me to remind her that it’s Friday, so nobody in your family is having any meat today. I’ll let you make your own choices, but if she asks what you ordered, I’ll tell her the truth, OK? OK.” That would be just fine.