Understanding Benignity

[MockSock]

I read recently about benignity in this book that I really cannot recommend highly enough 12 Steps to Holiness
My question is, if I am at Mass and nobody else seems to be following the rubrics, should I follow everyone else and not follow the rubrics either?The book says that purposely being different shows a lack of charity. But what if you know that you are right and following the correct rubrics and others are wrong? Is this still pride? I may have completely misunderstood benignity as this is the first thing I have read about it.

 

[Cor_ad_Cor]

I’d say be cautious of your certainty and potential judgement of others. They may well be wrong! If that’s the case, are you entering into sin by going with the flow? (Think about the intent of whatever it is.)

My hesitation to say always follow the rubrics comes from countless times where someone “knew” they were right when the rest of the assembly was wrong. What they didn’t know was how much they didn’t know! Their insistence on what they “knew” was misguided and sometimes, just flat wrong. (And I’ve on occasion been that person.)

 

[MockSock]

As I’ve said many times before on this forum, I am relatively new to the OF. But if a rubric is written in the missal then I can only assume its correct. But yes, thanks for the reminder that it may well be me who is wrong.

 

[Mintaka]

It’s hard to know how to answer you without specifics.

But there’s a difference between “don’t stand out too much in a self-righteous spirit” and “don’t worry about giving God His due, but just go along with the crowd.” Laypeople have a lot of rights and responsibilities in the Catholic Church, and one of them is worshipping. There is no need to worship exactly the same way as everybody else, because you’re a layperson. As long as you aren’t doing anything scary or offensive, do as you see fit and ignore everybody else. If they are paying attention to you instead of Mass, they are the ones being shallow. If you are paying attention to the book and they aren’t, you do your part and don’t worry about them, either.

That said, there are a lot of approved and old local customs that aren’t in the book. There are also dippy or even oppressive local customs that aren’t in the book. You may eventually find out what’s going on with your local congregation.

 

[IdaCatholic]

While most of the time I think you should MYOB when it comes to what others do at Mass, I will just point out that if a group of people are doing something against the “rubrics” (you should define that) then they are the ones that are being different.

 

[MockSock]

By rubrics I meant the instructions printed in MY missal (such as All Bow). I had assumed these were universal.

 

[IdaCatholic]

You should follow the instructions of the Church and not worry about others.

 

[Cor_ad_Cor]

It would be best if everyone followed the Church’s rubrics rather than YOUR missal.

That was only somewhat sarcastic, by the way… I have found missalettes and personal missals that don’t have everything in them — and others may have more/less than the one you’re using. In fact, even the altar missal your priest uses likely doesn’t have all of the rubrics for possible consideration.

 

[MockSock]

That’s fair. Hypothetically speaking, if I did know all the Church’s rubrics (which I don’t) would it show a lack of charity to follow them if no one else was? Say I was doing it to be correct and not just to make a point.

 

[Cor_ad_Cor]

Personally, I default to a variation on something a Cistercian monk once said at a retreat. He said whenever we’re trying to decide if something (a ‘message’ or sign, an event in life/the world, a feeling, etc.) is of God or aligned to his will, you ask yourself, “Does this seem like love?”

When in doubt on things liturgical, ask yourself what the intent is… for you, primarily, and if/where appropriate, what you honestly believe the intent of those around you may be.

If sticking to the rubrics as you know them brings you closer to the Lord, do it. If it’s to show that you know the ‘right way’ of doing things, maybe don’t.

 

[Jen95]

Personally, I default to a variation on something a Cistercian monk once said at a retreat. He said whenever we’re trying to decide if something (a ‘message’ or sign, an event in life/the world, a feeling, etc.) is of God or aligned to his will, you ask yourself, “Does this seem like love?”

When in doubt on things liturgical, ask yourself what the intent is… for you, primarily, and if/where appropriate, what you honestly believe the intent of those around you may be.

If sticking to the rubrics as you know them brings you closer to the Lord, do it. If it’s to show that you know the ‘right way’ of doing things, maybe don’t.

I guess this can depend on what your definition of “love” is. And who you are showing “love” to. When Our Lord turned over the tables in the Temple, was he showing love? I’m sure it didn’t look like “love” to the money-changers.

If something bizarre is happening at a particular liturgy, is it “love” to keep your children there, if it causes lots of questions? Or they say “why don’t we gather around the altar all the time?” Or they are scandalized?
If someone was kneeling instead of standing, maybe they are showing love to Our Lord, but not to their fellow parishioners (as much). Or maybe it’s “tough love”, to indicate that there is another way to do things!

 

[adgloriam]

The book says that purposely being different shows a lack of charity.

Being different is firstly a result of individuality. Not a determinism that allows to ascertain lack of charity. Some people are cognitively aware of what is normative, and other people are oblivious to social norms.

At most, the book would say deciding to be/act different (which entails being conscious of norm) can have motives and ends that are not charitable. So you’d have to analyze motives and ends, to ascertain lack of charity.

Something being objectively wrong, in itself, would have a catholic acting right. In case of rubrics, it might be pretentious to lead by example for a layman (it’s the priest job to correct the congregation), if he’s the only one doing so. Because, some peace is to be found in normative action by way of uniformity, so standing out or disrupting uniformity might bring no fruits other than individual difference (however formally correct).

By rubrics I meant the instructions printed in MY missal

On a normal week I’d go to mass at 4 different churches. Every assembly had its own environment and slight variation of how the laity followed the rubrics. What I found was a different richness/experience in every assembly, and that was richer than any given set of prescribed formalities. In fact, some rubrics are rich in of themselves, and just overcoming my habit/attachment to certain rubrics brought valuable lessons. What I loved most? Besides Jesus, and the religious, meeting fellow parishioners, after we had come to know each other.

 

[Vico]

… But what if you know that you are right and following the correct rubrics and others are wrong?
…

I follow what the liturgy book states and I note that are some options. For example, one can make the sign of the cross many times but liturgically it is only called for twice in the Ordinary Form Mass. There is an entirely different rubric in the Byzantine Catholic liturgies.