Understanding introverts

[Usige]

How do intrraverts handle job interviews and keep a job?

It’s important to remember that introvert does not equal recluse. I do very well at interviews and been very successful in my career over the past 20+ years.

The difference between an introvert and an extrovert is that an introvert might only be able to do one or 2 interviews in a day before feeling drained. An extrovert might have 6 interviews and feel energized and the end of it.

As for jobs/careers there are lines of work that are probably a better fit for introverts. Many IT jobs are well aligned for introverts (long stretches of troubleshooting or coding locked up inside your head). Sales might not be the best choice given the constant interaction with clients and potential clients. The biggest barrier for introverts might be in some of the higher levels of companies. Companies were upper management is in constant meetings or with a lot of office politics could be wearing on an introvert. These are also generalizations. I know introverts that are successful in sales and extroverts in IT so it’s not a one size fits all proposition.

 

[Verchiel]

I have been in high level interaction jobs for 30 years, in the middle of the action or crisis in many cases, its learned behaviors that make me good at this, but I can get in handle the situation and get out, retreat to me office and let my mind drift, even absorbing information can be relaxing to me. This regenerates me, but should I go to long in this high energy situation I begin to feel feverish and cant think deeply or problem solve at near my best ability, that’s why I have mastered the in and out quick fix method. Go regenerate and check on the situation again. Im working evenings again and this has been very helpful, I even get the opportunity to shine in the area of development which is me favorite area and where I shine to others through out the organization. Introverts will learn behaviors which allow them to work and do well while using low amounts of energy, although we may come off as being snobby when avoiding interactions that we see as un-necessary.

 

[Sarcelle]

Thanks for posting this.

I think, based on this, that I am an extrovert. I really enjoy interacting with people.

I’m usually willing to at least nod and say “hi” to everyone, and then I appraise their reaction and determine whether further interaction with them will be a pleasant experience, or uncomfortable.

However, I don’t feel that I NEED people to gain energy. I feel that I gain energy by being alone, either at home, in the car, at a lunch table, during a walk, practicing the piano and/or organ, and especially in the Adoration Chapel at my parish.

I love being alone. But I also love being with people.

So am I an intro-extro vert?

No you are just well balanced.

Speaking as an introvert, I noticed I tend to get my energy from ideas, concepts. When I am around people that I can share ideas with, than I give the impression of being an extrovert. It seems like I am getting my energy off of them when the reality is I get the energy from the ideas they give me.

 

[pensmama87]

No you are just well balanced.

Speaking as an introvert, I noticed I tend to get my energy from ideas, concepts. When I am around people that I can share ideas with, than I give the impression of being an extrovert. It seems like I am getting my energy off of them when the reality is I get the energy from the ideas they give me.

Yes, this is a very good way to put it!

 

[Sarcelle]

How do intrraverts handle job interviews and keep a job?

Easy.

Introverts are attracted to certain career fields, such as science and engineering, and tend not to get attracted to other career fields, such as sales and marketing.

Chances are when an introvert goes to a job interview like for an engineering position, chances are the interviewer is also an introvert. When the applicant gets the job, chances are the coworkers are also of the same personality type.

As I said before, I get my energy from ideas and I know I’m not the only one.
Get two introverts who have the same passion together and you find out really quickly you cannot get them to shut up.

 

[jlc2k2]

Sometimes I feel like I need to put this on a loop and broadcast it:

**Being introverted is not the same thing as shy or socially awkward! **

I’ve had so many people say to me that I “can’t” be introverted. I am a good conversationalist and a very good interviewer. It’s true that I have had social anxiety, but I do exceptionally well in social situations with clear guidelines on how to act. I’m generally regarded as a good friend and excellent listener. I have been successful in restaurant work, as a receptionist, and as a public school teacher, and my employers have been really happy with my work. I raise my children and babysit several others. I have an active social life.

Those things are all external, though. I like to be by myself to “recharge.” I prefer to maintain deep friendships with a few people than have a large network of friends and acquaintances. If I pick a social activity, it’s probably going to be something smaller, with fewer people, than a large gathering. But I can enjoy myself at the other, too.

Introverts can be very successful in work that requires lots of social interaction, even in public life. But we “process” those experiences differently.

Being introverted is not a character flaw. I do think it’s harder for introverted people to get by in cultures that put more value in extroverted characteristics. But it’s not a weakness or bad way to be.

This. I work with people but I also make sure I get some time in the day where I am away from people and can just be still for a moment. Even if the bathroom is the only place that can happen.

 

[CatholicGuy31]

The cartoon is brilliant, I might just print this in A4 and wear it around my neck when next walking into a social situation.

The content is surprisingly accurate, particularly at the end. I think all extroverts should have a copy of this.

I have to disagree however with the last bit of section 1: “seeing extroverts as obnoxious predators out to steal energy”. While I did think this during my younger years, I have come to realize that it is not true.

The reason we appear this way is that we prefer conversations rather than just chit chat. For me personally, I cannot seem to connect with most regular topics people talk about and therefore have to disconnect. Basically we just can’t give in small doses so have to keep our energy contained until the right opportunity presents itself. Once we do get going however it can be a bit like a lawnmower without an off switch.

 

[Joannm]

The best book on the topic is “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking‎” by Susan Cain. I learned a lot about myself – and the world at large – in reading it.

Tht is a great book. People often don’t believe it when I tell them I am a hight introvert, since I do so well in any position I have held in the church. The truth is a large number os priests and others who are in ministry are introverts. A priest once described himself as an “occupational extrovert.” He was able to be outgoing and an exteovert in appearance when he was performing his ministry, but then he needed his alone time to decompress. He hated parish parties, but would attend and be very friendly. I was able to completely understand what he was talking about.

 

[Bataar]

The introvert rally cry!

We’re here!
We’re uncomfortable!
And we want to go home!

 

[Angel_Gabriel]

I’m an introvert …I’m also shy. Shyness is a form of anxiety and not related to introversion…I know a few extroverts who are shy too.

I love being an innie! I work part time as a certified Massage Therapist and I love it…while physically demanding at times, it’s awesome being alone with my thoughts for 60-90 minutes. I do have clients who like to talk which is fine…I can handle 1 on 1 interactions just fine… I like to go out and socialize but I have to be wary b/c depending on what the activity is and whom it is with, it could drain me… So mostly I’m a homebody or I stick to situations where there aren’t huge crowds.

And yes that post about getting energy from your thoughts…so true! one of my favorite things to do is to surf the internet, listen to music and have a drink (well, depending on the time of day…if it’s in the morning or during the day I’ll have tea or coffee lol!)…I love just day dreaming…

 

[Deltadeliquent]

So very true on many levels.
I’m an introvert, and happy to be so.
My son is too, but not so happy about it. If I sent him the cartoon he would be angry…

 

[thewanderer]

Thanks for posting this.

I think, based on this, that I am an extrovert. I really enjoy interacting with people.

I’m usually willing to at least nod and say “hi” to everyone, and then I appraise their reaction and determine whether further interaction with them will be a pleasant experience, or uncomfortable.

However, I don’t feel that I NEED people to gain energy. I feel that I gain energy by being alone, either at home, in the car, at a lunch table, during a walk, practicing the piano and/or organ, and especially in the Adoration Chapel at my parish.

I love being alone. But I also love being with people.

So am I an intro-extro vert?

You’re in between, just like me and, really, most other people. I do not find myself drained by social interaction at all, and enjoy large and noisy get togethers, but sometimes I need my alone time to recharge too.

 

[CaliLobo]

Yeah, it definitely costs energy for me to interact with people as well.

Yesterday and today I went to a few social gatherings. Yesterday a random one from Meetup.com, and today from my Protestant group.

It’s like, it was nice to say hi to people I knew, but I just wasn’t feeling it. It felt like I didn’t fully enjoy being around people at all. Like, it wasn’t worth my time to get to know new people because I wasn’t sure I’d see them again, or show witty banter for the sake of it because I just didn’t care enough to.

And then I give off an awkward vibe, because I’m not fully enjoying myself, and it all comes crashing down from there…

 

[Faxero]

As an introvert, I personally testify to the truthfulness of the linked article in the opening post. Thank you for sharing, it is now bookmarked.

:coffeeread: Behold, another article for those who are more mature than hamster bubbles: changingminds.org/explanations/preferences/extravert_introvert.htm

Extroverts wish to change the world, while Introverts wish to understand it.

Introverts may see Extroverts as being shallow and pushy.
Extroverts may see Introverts as being egocentric and passive.

So very true on many levels.
I’m an introvert, and happy to be so.
My son is too, but not so happy about it. If I sent him the cartoon he would be angry…

May God calm your delinquent son. He will be included in my rosary intentions today.

 

[Estevao]

The more I think about it, if the qualification for being an introvert is “expending energy when interacting with others”, I don’t think I qualify, I just don’t have very well oiled conversation skills due to being an only child. When you’re an only child you have to deal with being alone and get used to it, you can’t stay over at your friends house forever.

I love interacting with folks. I do feel more alive when it’s going on (although sometimes I feel like I’m still on the outside even when I’m in a group discussion) I only expend energy when I just get tired from being on my feet for 4 hours at a party, not from talking in general.

I was definitely an extrovert during high school and some of college, I had a good social life, but then my mom up and died and I became rather depressed, self-hating and awkward and lost all the social skills I had developed from school (you don’t really develop them easily as an only child) and started preferring reading and trying to understand the world instead of shallow social interaction where people watch sports, talk about gossip, blah blah blah.

 

[Joannm]

One of the problems with us introverts is that we are misunderstood. I have been told by some that I am uppity and that I look down on people and that I intimidate them. But they don’t understand that the reason I am sitting on the sofa instead of working the room, is because I am comfortable sitting there. If you sit next to me I will talk with you and we will have a great conversation. I like to people watch, but that doesn’t mean I am judging you. As far as being intimidating, because I have a doctorate in ministry doesn’t mean I think I know more than you and am going to teach you something. I know how to listen, and what you say is important to me. I want to hear your story and engage in dialogue about the faith. I may challenge you on some issue, but we are all called to do that when we encounter something that does against our faith.

As far as working with people, we introverts prefer to work alone. I love being in my office and closing the door so I am not disturbed. I could never work in one of these open communal office spaces that are so popular now. It doesn’t mean I am being a snob, it’s just how I am most productive.

 

[seagal]

That comment (in the hamster bubble) about thinking of extroverts as “obnoxious predators” really bothers me. It makes us out to be misanthropic. Not only that, but some introverts seem to be proud of it. Extroverts look to me like they’re having so much more fun and can connect to others much more easily. I’ve always admired that and wish I could be more like them. It has taken me literally years to get to know someone well enough to call them a friend. That can be a little lonely when I crawl out of my hermit cave craving company. I’ve learned to overcome my shyness and can enjoy myself at a party – for a while anyway. After an hour I’m in an unoccupied room looking through the hosts’ collection of books or CDs. (Unless it’s a music party. Give me a guitar and another musician or 2 or 3 and I could go all night.) But if I just want to get out with someone for a coffee or a walk, it’s hard just to call someone up.

 

[Deltadeliquent]

Thank you, Fax.
My son has never been anything but an introvert, played alone, hated team sports, reads a lot. Socially awkward. But he hates it and thinks he’s an extrovert.
He’s not, and I see myself especially when younger, all over him…

 

[Secant]

As an introvert who grew up in a family of extroverts and married to an introvert who craves extensive social interaction, I can “fake it” when it comes to dealing with the 75% of the population who are typically classified on the extrovert side of the spectrum. I can work a normal engineering job and pretend to enjoy spending time talking to people. My family has no tolerance for introverts so I can talk just like an extrovert, if I have to. In reality, Mass itself is so far from my comfort zone that I feel sick going (not that I’ll risk going to Hell for a calm stomach and quiet head), but I still play music for nearly every Mass as it is necessary and expected. However the stress and exhaustion sets me up for weekly migraines and greatly taxes my immune system so that I am often ill. It all depends on the introvert as to how they can handle work, children, or other essential social activities. Introversion/Extroversion falls on a spectrum, so some people can by slightly introverted/extroverted, and others, like my aunt, can’t function without someone nearby all the time. I have found that most extroverts of my acquaintance enjoy things like loud music and dancing when they go out to eat or have fun. Many introverts, on the other hand, can’t understand the thrill of clubs, or even a wedding reception with music and dancing. However, a conversation, even a debate with a friend once a week is exciting, if tiring.

 

[Bataar]

I’m an introvert with Aspergers. A bad combination. I don’t consider myself shy, though. I can talk to anyone, as long as there’s something interesting/valid to talk about or I feel like they can provide. I just hate small talk. For me, talking is about the exchange of information. If I see you and feel like I know something that you should know, I’ll walk over and tell you. Likewise, if I see you and feel that you know something that I need to know, I’ll walk over and ask you. Beyond that, if you’re a stranger, I probably won’t say anything.