Uneasiness visiting new churches

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frumacat

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I’ve been parish-hunting because I like to change it up a bit sometimes, so I find myself visiting churches I’ve never been to occasionally. I found a church today not far from me. I know the church was open because there was a mass scheduled to occur in an hour and I checked the church hours previously on the website.

It was an absolutely beautiful, old church–immaculately maintained and cared for. I found myself alone in the church, sat down in a pew and tried to pray. Only I couldn’t. I felt very uneasy and nervous for some reason. I kept thinking, “Oh, I shouldn’t be here. I’m not supposed to be here” even though I knew very well the church WAS open and that all our welcome in a house of God. Maybe it was just social nervousness or uneasiness being somewhere new–I am naturally shy and introverted, but it bothered me. I have actually had this experience before when I’ve visited other new churches and parishes I’ve never been to.

Has anyone ever experienced this feeling? Any advice or words to overcome this?
 
I find going to new places tremendously difficult, and it took me quite some time to be comfortable in my current church. There are lots of factors for that, but (and I’m sure anyone who reads my posts will think me a broken record) what resolved my nerves was Christ in the tabernacle. Now, whichever Catholic church I go into, I locate the Tabernacle, genuflect and say ‘dear Lord, it’s me,come to sit with you awhile’. It sounds so simple, but that act of acknowledging He is sitting there with me removes an anxiety or fear that I shouldn’t be there.
 
Maybe it was a God-given warning.

Maybe it was simply social anxiety.

The art in old churches can be both inspiring and disturbing. I grew up in a very plain church, one that was no doubt influenced by puritan culture.

The first time I saw a church with real murals I was really anxious. They depicted things I’d never seen before in art.

It was a culture shock and it took me a long, long time to feel comfortable in a grand church. Sometimes our wonder can turn into fear when we least expect it.
 
Now, whichever Catholic church I go into, I locate the Tabernacle, genuflect and say ‘dear Lord, it’s me,come to sit with you awhile’.

I love that. That’s a wonderful suggestion. Thanks!
 
Same here. The church I was raised in was very plain. Accommodating and welcoming, but in terms of aesthetics, very unremarkable. I know that, like with people, appearances aren’t super important but I figure a very beautiful church can be more conducive to setting up a spiritual mood. That didn’t happen today.

Can you elaborate on what you mean by a god-given warning? do you mean that it’s God trying to warn me about myself or the church?
 
frumacat said:
Same here. The church I was raised in was very plain. Accommodating and welcoming, but in terms of aesthetics, very unremarkable. I know that, like with people, appearances aren’t super important but I figure a very beautiful church can be more conducive to setting up a spiritual mood. That didn’t happen today.

Can you elaborate on what you mean by a god-given warning? do you mean that it’s God trying to warn me about myself or the church?
Click to expand...
Sometimes, if you’re in-tune with Church teachings you may see things that are wrong, but not identify them cognitively.

For instance, let’s talk about my former parish. Walking in the back you pass a set of tables against pews. On one side is Medals, a few rosaries and rosary pamphlets. You don’t look at the left table in detail, but it doesn’t seem “right”.

Well, had you looked in detail you’d of seen pledges for Relay for Life and even pamphlets of non-Catholic things for sale. 😲

So that little alarm bell that made you unsettled would have let you know that this place was NOT doing things right and you’d be wise to walk away.
 
Oh loll by god-given warning I thought you meant something like my soul was in peril and I’m damned and God was sending me discomfort 😂🤣😆 Why do I always automatically go to a dark place? lol

But that’s interesting. Maybe you’re right. Or maybe it was social anxiety. I might give the parish another try, though. I was only there for ten minutes or so.
 
Anyone else ever have this experience or similar experiences when visiting new parishes?
 
Yes, all the time, ever since the late 70’s when I ‘returned’ to the church my parents left. Nothing has been the same since, except a Latin Mass at a retreat by a very holy priest.

I am an Eastern Catholic now.
 
It’s funny you mention returning to the church your parents left. I went recently to the church of my early childhood (my family switched parishes after my first communion) and it felt different. When I was young it was the church I was used to but it felt to unwelcoming when I was there. Maybe I’m biased-- the parish has that kind of reputation-- but I really felt it. I don’t really feel that way when I go to my regular church though. A little social anxiety, sometimes, but that’s different.
 
I welcome uneasiness. And a church is the best to welcome it. For there in the Church, I receive abundant more graces, and more so in uneasiness - for it provides strength for a purer hope. If only I could accept every God-willed cross, and give it back unconditionally exclaiming with the Church’s timeless liturgy: Hail, O Cross, our only hope!

Only the cross.
 
Let it be that both you and I give our hearts to the passion. Let us refer all that is clearly his to himself. And what ever he gives us, if he takes it away, that would be really right because it always belonged to him.
 
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I visit many Churches. I love Church architecture. If I visit another city, I visit Churches there. US or Europe, attend services if I can. I find it fascinating and recommend it to all Christians. But totally agree on feeling intimidated sometimes. Church buildings themselves don’t intimidate me - they calm and inspire me tremendously - it’s the people in them that unsettle me. Especially if they are staring or clearly indicating that they are observing me as an outsider. In an unfriendly way. Friendly I like, I find that helpful - I always smile back. My advice if you ever feel awkward or isolated in that kind of situation is to literally pray to God right that second about it. Focus on an image of Mary or Jesus or a window. It helps me gather my thoughts and return to focusing on prayer or the service or whatever. Induces humility which opens to me real prayer. May take a minute or so. Pray about whatever else you need to that could be adding to your present discomfort - travel, money, health, conflict, confusion, fatigue, whatever. Sounds simple but it will help steady you.
 
I had a sense of uneasiness the other day while praying late at night at the park. I think I was uneasy because of the location I was at and the time of day. I then decided to go to a new spot, more hidden, and felt even more uneasy.

I have a problem with people watching me pray because of my shyness/introversion. Perhaps that is the reason you felt uneasy.
 
Shyness definitely plays a role, I think. And maybe the feeling of uneasiness will dissipate the more new churches I visit. But I definitely feel shy praying around others, even if it’s in a church and I realize that’s quite a normal thing to do in a church.
 
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