Unethical work situation?

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Natalia

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I’m not sure if this is the right forum, but I have a question regarding whether my work situation was ethical or not. I am no longer employed by this organization.

My husband was hired to work part-time for a certain religious order. Because he wanted to be free to take other temp jobs, he arranged with the boss that I would work about half of his hours. I wasn’t keen on the idea, because it sounded somewhat dodgy, but I eventually agreed. The pay went directly to my husband.

The job was actually very demanding, although it was only a few hours per week. While I was working, I was constantly asked to work overtime and was pressured to volunteer. My work was micromanaged by other employees and by the bosses. The customers were also very rude and all-around difficult at times, and some were concerned that a foreigner (me) would mess things up and complete tasks incorrectly. During my time there, I became very depressed and anxious. I eventually gained almost 50 pounds, but when I asked if I could cease working, my husband would become furious and accuse me of being abusive.

I felt the situation to be unethical, and I was tempted to contact the labor department. However, when I consulted about seven different priests in the diocese, they all said the same version of the same thing: the Catholic Church has enough problems, so don’t make waves. As a convert to Catholcism and a stranger in the country, I felt taken advantage of and shut out.

I realize that I bear some responsibility and culpability for agreeing to put myself in this situation in the first place, but I did feel pressured by my husband and by the priests I spoke with. Technically, I found out later that the situation was illegal.

My questions are:

Does the Catholic Church approve of situations like mine? Did I really make a fuss out of nothing, like some of the priests said? I am really confused, and I am not sure if I’d ever work for a Catholic employer, even if the job was legal.

Thanks for reading.
 
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I wouldn’t work any job where the paycheck didn’t go directly to me. In that regard, I agree. You were taken advantage of.
 
The whole thing sounds pretty dodgy, and your husband sounds like he was not behaving very nicely to you.
 
Does the Catholic Church approve of situations like mine?
No. The Church promotes ethical treatment of immigrants, just working conditions, and fair wages.
Did I really make a fuss out of nothing, like some of the priests said?
No and I’m sorry they would say that to you. The religious order was wrong to make this arrangement with your husband. Your husband sounds like a bully.
I am really confused, and I am not sure if I’d ever work for a Catholic employer, even if the job was legal.
That situation sounds highly unusual. I know many people employed by parishes and dioceses. They love their jobs. While all jobs come with aggravations, they don’t all come with that sort of behavior. Our diocese does a lot of training on Human Resources type stuff to make sure everything is being done legally and well regarding employee relations.
 
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I’m thinking that you are in a country outside the USA, right? Can you disclose the location?
 
However, when I consulted about seven different priests in the diocese, they all said the same version of the same thing: the Catholic Church has enough problems, so don’t make waves.
This from one priest could be “well, priests are wrong sometimes”. Coming from 7 priests, I would suggest you contact Catholic Charities at the Diocese.

One of the sins that cry out to heaven is a boss abusing employees. The Church is very clear that it is a sin to break just laws, employment laws are just laws.

Seriously, someone needs to be made aware!
 
Blockquote when I asked if I could cease working, my husband would become furious and accuse me of being abusive.
I think that your husband is the one who is taking the abusive role, you are just the victim
 
An honest day’s pay for an honest day’s work.
What is fair is fair.
If you have been taken advantage of, then you must bring this to the attention of anyone who can rectify the situation.
 
Catholic Charities works for ethical work conditions among other things.
 
Catholic Charities works for ethical work conditions among other things.
But they don’t have any authority over diocesan priests or religious orders. I would suggest notifying the superior of the order about the work situation. And the vicar of clergy of the diocese regarding priests who told me to keep my mouth shut.
 
That also, I’ve found that Diocese offices communicate well and when you speak with one, they will help with other offices.
 
but when I asked if I could cease working, my husband would become furious and accuse me of being abusive.
This is called gaslighting - convincing you that you’re the one whose at fault and “crazy” when it’s actually the abuser’s fault. In other words, it’s a red flag that he is the one being abusive. Gaslighting: Signs and Tips for Seeking Help

You’ve received some good advice about handling your situation legally, but it’s also time to question if you’re in a toxic marriage.
 
Your husband needs counseling, and he needs to search his own soul. God would NOT approve of the way he treated you. Does he really love you? That’s the first question I would ask if I were in your situation.

As for the work situation, it sounds like you were being discriminated against because you’re a foreigner. That is also a no-no.
 
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Don’t be a doormat and let others take advantage of you. there will always be people looking to take advantage of somebody who will allow it. You are much better than that, and deserve better than that.
 
I want to thank everyone who has taken the time to reply to me in this thread. There is a lot of valuable advice presented here, and I appreciate it tremendously! I now feel quite hopeful; thanks again. 🙂
 
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