Unfaithful boyfriend

[turboEDvo]

Personally, I wouldn’t stand for it. I might consider forgiving once, but if it is a repeat thing, you have to realize that you are worth finding a guy who is willing to be 100% faithful to you and you alone. It is really a sorry answer to say he cheated because somebody else was more faithful. That sounds so incredibly hypocritical: “Hmmm, she’s more faithful, so I am going to be immoral and cheat.” That makes no sense. I would dump him and find somebody who is truly ready to give his entire self to you.

Eamon

 

[kage_ar]

I side with the “old” foggies here - cheating and faithful are words one associates with a sexual relationship - and a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship should not involve sex…

If you mean that he went out with someone else, well - unless you are in a committed steady pre-marriage relationship, then, you are casually dating (and maybe that is not the best idea for you).

Praying for you!

 

[MGEISING]

jamie95:

how should a catholic girlfriend deal with a boyfriend who has cheated on her but has promised to stop seeing the other person already. this is not the first time that this has happend. the reason i got as to why dated her was…“she’s more religious than you are.” should i continue to forgive or is it time to move on? should i believe him when he now tells me that he’ll be more committed this time?

I would drop them like a hot potato. Not only did it happen once, but twice … tell them to take the high road. You deserve better.

 

[deaconswife]

MGEISING:

I would drop them like a hot potato. Not only did it happen once, but twice … tell them to take the high road. You deserve better.

I agree with you wholeheartedly. Why compromise your standards with someone who does not appear to place the same value on faithfulness that you do. Faithfulness is the one quality that I insisted on in someone I would go out with after getting burned in a relationship in high school and early days at college. I dated a boy (and you’ll see why I say boy) who was a psychology major and later became a psychiatrist. He was not only dating me but four other women and he was engaged to one of the four. We all found out about each other and one day we all went to his house. His fiance rang the doorbell and when he greeted her we all stepped out of hiding. You should have seen his face, it looked like this :bigyikes: .

 

[Fashina86]

jamie95:

how should a catholic girlfriend deal with a boyfriend who has cheated on her but has promised to stop seeing the other person already. this is not the first time that this has happend. the reason i got as to why dated her was…“she’s more religious than you are.” should i continue to forgive or is it time to move on? should i believe him when he now tells me that he’ll be more committed this time?

HE IS NOT WORTH IT!:tsktsk: :nope: (at least now!) Dump him… forgive him… move on… and if he truly is good, then he could make a better effort later in the future after he has proved to you that he is worth your time and effort. If he doesn’t, than you haven’t wasted your precious time! I would be quite disappointed in him… LET HIM KNOW HOW MUCH IT HURTS AND THAT YOU WILL ONLY SEE HIM (later) IF HE CAN PROVE TO YOU THAT HE IS WORTH YOUR TIME! don’t let this person toy with you. He has to prove his worth and regain your trust. A good relationship should be one of love, faith, and trust in each other. One without these is a lost cause!

 

[ridesawhitehors]

Cut and RUN girl! Lots of GOOD guys out there who will respect your dignity.

 

[On_my_way]

jamie95:

how should a catholic girlfriend deal with a boyfriend who has cheated on her but has promised to stop seeing the other person already. this is not the first time that this has happend. the reason i got as to why dated her was…“she’s more religious than you are.” should i continue to forgive or is it time to move on? should i believe him when he now tells me that he’ll be more committed this time?

If it happened more than once why are you still with him? If you continue to stay with him and forgive him, what makes you think he won’t do it again?

As long as you keep forgiving him and taking him back he won’t stop cheating. Let him go.

 

[Katie1723]

StratusRose:

…If one wants to date around and not be faithful, then that should be established immediately when a girl and a guy get together. Then expectations will be low and no one’s feelings will be hurt. But, this guy went behind her back, deceived her, betrayed her feelings, probably sinned with another girl, then didn’t take responsiblility for his actions! Would you want to stay with someone like that?

I am sorry if this post sounds a little heated. I have seen first hand what cheating can do to a person. With all due respect, I don’t mean to offend you, I would just like you to clarify your position because right now it is not making sense to me. :nope:

You go girl!!! Bravo!!!
~ Kathy ~

 

[cargopilot]

kage_ar:

I side with the “old” foggies here - cheating and faithful are words one associates with a sexual relationship - and a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship should not involve sex…

If you mean that he went out with someone else, well - unless you are in a committed steady pre-marriage relationship, then, you are casually dating (and maybe that is not the best idea for you).

Praying for you!

Thank you! You said it better than I could. You hit the nail right on the head.

The words "faithful’ and ‘cheating’ DO indicate a sexual relationship.

Old fogies were stupid when I was a kid, too. But they’ll learn…some will do it the easy way, and others will have to do it the hard way.

 

[KiwiCatholic86]

I think being unfaithful and cheating are primarily about mentality. If someone thinks of going out with two people at once as two-timing, as being a betrayal of the other person’s trust, their intention renders their actions wrong, whether or not they have the right idea of what dating should be about.

I’ve been in a similar situation to the original poster, although he was getting back together with an ex he never got over. I decided in my case that there had been too much deception, hurt, and immaturity for me to fully trust or respect him. That merely mirrors his view of me though. A guy who trusts and respects you would have the guts to tell you that they wanted to date someone else and face whatever consequences there were.

 

[Giannawannabe]

jamie95:

how should a catholic girlfriend deal with a boyfriend who has cheated on her but has promised to stop seeing the other person already. this is not the first time that this has happend. the reason i got as to why dated her was…“she’s more religious than you are.” should i continue to forgive or is it time to move on? should i believe him when he now tells me that he’ll be more committed this time?

I didn’t have time to read everyone’s posts, but I just wanted to respond to your question.

My answer would be to dump this guy and don’t look back!!! If he’s already cheated on you multiple times and you’re only dating, he’s not going to change. Why waste your time on someone who doesn’t think you’re important or worthy enough to treat with respect?

MOVE ON Jamie!!! There’s someone out there better than this.

 

[EsclavoDeCristo]

cargopilot:

…Now, with regard to your concerns. I understand that I am unlikely to cause any change of heart in your mind with regard to my earlier comments. Firstly, all remarks assume that the individual young person is living their life following ALL the teachings of the Church, primarily, NO PREMARITAL SEX. Following that key teaching, let’s follow a relationship that is, for sake of this discussion, very simplified…

…Level 4: Engagement. I believe we will begin to converge our viewpoints on dating others. Now I believe the importance of being faithful kicks-in. I don’t believe that either should date others, at this time. EXCEPT, you’re still not married yet. If you don’t think something’s right, or someone comes along who, without a doubt is ‘more’ right, then dis-engage, and move to Level 2, or break it off…

…And the question of pre-marital sex you mentioned? Well, that really complicates things. Throws the whole deal off-kilter. But we’re all sinners, well, maybe not you, but me, and everyone else I know is.http://forums.catholic-questions.org/images/icons/icon12.gif Introducing variables like that, makes it all the more important to date around and avoid pre-marital sex.

Kids, this stuff is serious. Marriage is the most important thing you’re likely to ever do. Divorce happens, families are torn apart, children’s lives are shattered. If you ‘fly by the numbers’ and follow ALL the teachings of the Church, you’ll have a long and happy marriage.

Couldn’t have put it any better! I agree with Cargopilot 110%. Please read and consider what he said. This “cheating” may be a sign that the entire relationship has been squewed and flawed. I also recommend speaking with a good priest and a faithful Catholic friend/couple if you know one. God bless you! You have my prayers!

 

[Mom_of_5]

The answer to this one is not difficult. Dump him or put up with all his unfaithfulness for the next 50+ years. Each time he will say he won’t do it ever again. He will though, until he is too old or sick to cheat on you, then YOU get him all to yourself!!! WOW, what a treat!

Love and peace

 

[Katie1723]

Mom of 5:

The answer to this one is not difficult. Dump him or put up with all his unfaithfulness for the next 50+ years. Each time he will say he won’t do it ever again. He will though, until he is too old or sick to cheat on you, then YOU get him all to yourself!!! WOW, what a treat!

Love and peace

Amen mama!!
~ Kathy ~

 

[tcay584]

jamie95:

how should a catholic girlfriend deal with a boyfriend who has cheated on her but has promised to stop seeing the other person already. this is not the first time that this has happend. the reason i got as to why dated her was…“she’s more religious than you are.” should i continue to forgive or is it time to move on? should i believe him when he now tells me that he’ll be more committed this time?

Forgive…then move on and don’t look back.