Unforgiven? Can't Become Catholic?

[Kellyreneeomara]

I’m not really sure if this is int he right section. Mods, please feel free to move it if you need to!

I’m really, very sad about this…and I don;t know how to put any of this gently, so I’ll just spit it all out.

I was not baptized or raised Catholic, but I was raised Christian.

When I was 13, I was molested and raped, and had to have an abortion as a direct result. Because of being told by a few people in my life that “I was no longer a virgin, so it was silly of me to hold out for sex until marriage now,” I was not chaste.

I am now 22 years old, and about a year ago, I was Saved, and I discussed with my pastor that I wanted to wait until marriage again, and how much of an issue this was causing with my boyfriend. My pastor assured me that I could be pure again, and that I needed to break up with this boyfriend. I did, and I have grown deeply in my faith.

Recently, I have felt I needed a more structured sense of faith, and the more I read about Catholicism, the more interested I became. Eventually, I decided I wanted to become Catholic, and I looked into talking to a local priest about how to take steps to do this.

While I have managed to deal with the scars of my past, and I consider myself to be a normal young woman, I also am beginning to realize I never dealt with the spiritual damage that my past abuse caused. I have started feeling that confessing my fears, pains, and sinful actions related to this will do me a world of good, and I wanted to get it out of the way before trying to become a member of the church, so I didn’t have it weighing on me.

I never talk to anyone about this. I mean never. After the initial abuse and the abortion, I worked through it all myself- in my head. I never went to counciling, and it is a subject that I never speak to my mother or anyone else about. But I decided to buck up, gather my courage, and be completely upfront about this with the priest so that I could find out how this would affect me.

When I managed to spit all this out to the priest, he looked at me with a deep frown, took a deep breath, and essentially told me (this a shortened version, as I can’t remember word for word), that because I was not Catholic, I could not go to confession and have my sins forgiven. And because I had committed the sins of sex outside of marriage and abortion, I could not enter the Catholic church with those “mortal sins” behind me. So, essentially, he told me “He didn’t really have an answer for me, and that he was very sorry.” And proceeded to encourage me to find faith elsewhere, in a less strict branch of Christianity.

Once I left, I sat by myself for a long time and cried. The church I had so hoped to join can’t accept me. The one church that seems to be the real voice of God, does not want me. And if they don’t want me and can’t forgive me, how can God? How can any church, really?

I’m so lost. I have prayed endlessly about it…but God is silent. I’m desperate enough now, I’m coming here and asking strangers for advice.

What should I do? Where should I go? How do I find forgiveness? I don’t want to go to Hell!:sad_bye:

Oh I am so sorry.I can not understand why or for what reason this Preist said it the way he did.You were 13 …you were a child and this was not your fault. Your preist should of had more compassion and understanding.But he is human…not divine.But I have had quite a past myself (life in the fast lane)…that I chose. I was away from God for about 20 years.I know God has forgiven me for me sins.He will forgive you for any of yours as well.God is loving and merciful .Who really needs to get on their hands and knees is this man that has done this to you.I have 3 kids myself…3,7 and a 13 year old daughter.Seek another preist and go through RCIA.My heart goes out to you.You really did get wrong advice.The Catholic faith is amazing.It took me 1 year to go through RCIA.So worth it!! …and most preist are very dedicated and compassionate too.Don’t beat yourself up so much…you got taken advantage of…it was in no way your fault dear.God bless you

 

[SurlyMermaid]

Seeking Daughter,

People are nuts. I’m tired of hearing people say one is no longer “chaste” or “pure” because someone raped them. Ridiculous. I’m so sorry you’ve had this experience too.

I don’t know much but I know that the Catholic Church doesn’t turn people away for this. I don’t know the conversation; maybe the priest fet you were not open to pro-life teachings or something.

You’re on the right path. Hang in there, sister. :hug1: I’ll keep you in prayers and I’m here for you.

 

[inkaneer]

WOW!!! The priest you talked to was indeed only partially correct. Can you imagine how many converts from paganism in the early church there would not have been if the impediment of committing, “… the sins of sex outside of marriage and abortion” had been applied to them? Don’t think that abortion is some new 20th century invention. The early church fathers wrote about it. To wit:

in 177 AD Athenagoras
wrote this

“What man of sound mind, therefore, will affirm, while such is our character, that we are murderers?
. . . [W]hen we say that those women who use drugs to bring on abortion commit murder, and will have to give an account to God for the abortion, on what principle should we commit murder? For it does not belong to the same person to regard the very fetus in the womb as a created being, and therefore an object of God’s care, and when it has passed into life, to kill it; and not to expose an infant, because those who expose them are chargeable with child-murder, and on the other hand, when it has been reared to destroy it” (A Plea for the Christians 35 [A.D. 177]).

Tertullian wrote:

“In our case, a murder being once for all forbidden, we may not destroy even the fetus in the womb, while as yet the human being derives blood from the other parts of the body for its sustenance. To hinder a birth is merely a speedier man-killing; nor does it matter whether you take away a life that is born, or destroy one that is coming to birth. That is a man which is going to be one; you have the fruit already in its seed” (Apology 9:8 [A.D. 197]).

St. Basil stated:

“Let her that procures abortion undergo ten years’ penance, whether the embryo were perfectly formed, or not” (First Canonical Letter, canon 2 [A.D. 374]).

Baptism will take care of what occurred before you entered the church so you only have to concern yourself with what ocurrs after you enter. So, WELCOME HOME!!!

 

[promethius]

I was not baptized or raised Catholic, but I was raised Christian.

This is a very important fact to note (more to follow)

When I managed to spit all this out to the priest, he looked at me with a deep frown, took a deep breath, and essentially told me (this a shortened version, as I can’t remember word for word), that because I was not Catholic, I could not go to confession and have my sins forgiven. And because I had committed the sins of sex outside of marriage and abortion, I could not enter the Catholic church with those “mortal sins” behind me. So, essentially, he told me “He didn’t really have an answer for me, and that he was very sorry.” And proceeded to encourage me to find faith elsewhere, in a less strict branch of Christianity.

Once I left, I sat by myself for a long time and cried. The church I had so hoped to join can’t accept me. The one church that seems to be the real voice of God, does not want me. And if they don’t want me and can’t forgive me, how can God? How can any church, really?

I’m so lost. I have prayed endlessly about it…but God is silent. I’m desperate enough now, I’m coming here and asking strangers for advice.

What should I do? Where should I go? How do I find forgiveness? I don’t want to go to Hell!:sad_bye:

Well, I don’t want to judge the priest. I think he was TRYING to give you a good answer, but that his intellect (if this is what he was actually trying to say and not a miscommunication) is interfering with both his charity and reality.

So let’s say a catholic goes and procures an abortion somewhere in the world. They automatically become excommunicated and must seek to be rejoined to the church through their ordinary (the bishop) or his designees (priests in many diocese can do this). Without that overturning of the latae sentai excommunication, the catholic cannot avail themselves of the sacraments (although they are still required to attend mass).

Here’s where what you said earlier was important: you’re not baptised and you’re not catholic. NONE of that applies to you. You cannot be excommunicated from a church you were not a member of! Your route to redemption is baptism, which washes away the guilt of all sins prior to entry into the life of the faith. From there you will have access to reconciliation and the Eucharist. So get yourself signed up for an RCIA class and get cracking on becoming catholic and getting baptised!

In the meantime, you have repented of sins and most especially of that greivous wound that was done to you as a child. I’m inclined to believe that at that age you were under a lot of pressure and psychological stress, so I would think you have some lack of culpability there, but at least you have repented of sin overall! As you progress towards becoming a catholic (and making a hearty effort in that regard, you should be in RCIA as soon as possible!), give an act of contrition to God from time to time. The act of contrition goes like this:

"Oh my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended you. I detest all of my sins because of your just punishment, but most of because they offend you, my God, who are all good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve with the help of Your grace to sin no more and to avoid the near occasion of sin."

If you do this, avoid sin with your utmost ability (despite the fact that you will sometimes fail) and work actively towards becoming a catholic, then you will be just fine.

 

[revert_jen]

Hi SeekingDaughter,

God bless you and comfort you in your painful circumstances. God loves you and He wants you to be Catholic.

I was not baptized or raised Catholic, but I was raised Christian.

Just to make sure we are all clear, do you mean you were not baptized Catholic or that you were not baptized at all? The Catholic Church recognizes most Protestant baptisms. You can only be validly baptized once in your life–it brings you into the family of Christ. If there is any doubt whether you have been baptized, you would be conditionally baptized when you come into the Church, which means basically, “If you haven’t been validly baptized before, I’m baptizing you now.”

While I have managed to deal with the scars of my past, and I consider myself to be a normal young woman, I also am beginning to realize I never dealt with the spiritual damage that my past abuse caused. I have started feeling that confessing my fears, pains, and sinful actions related to this will do me a world of good, and I wanted to get it out of the way before trying to become a member of the church, so I didn’t have it weighing on me.

By all means, it is great to start dealing with this as soon as possible, but it’s really a separate thing from joining the Catholic Church. What you want to find out before joining the Church, is whether you think the things the Church teaches are true. Granted that one of those things is that every sin can be forgiven if it is repented, aside from that your past sins aren’t really related to whether you believe what the Church teaches.

When I managed to spit all this out to the priest, he looked at me with a deep frown, took a deep breath,

Keep in mind that it might well have been a frown of concentration, trying to figure out what to say, not any indication of disapproval.

because I was not Catholic, I could not go to confession and have my sins forgiven.

As others have mentioned, by and large this is true. After you’ve gone a ways in RCIA (or whatever), and everyone including yourself is sure that you believe what the Church believes about what the sacrament of Confession does and how it works and all, that is the right time to go to Confession. (This is assuming that you have been baptized–if you have not been baptized, your baptism when you are received into the Church will wash away all of your past sins.)

And because I had committed the sins of sex outside of marriage and abortion, I could not enter the Catholic church with those “mortal sins” behind me.

Again, as others have mentioned, this isn’t true at all. Hopefully, you just misunderstood him, but priests do make mistakes, so he may just have been wrong.

So, essentially, he told me “He didn’t really have an answer for me, and that he was very sorry.” And proceeded to encourage me to find faith elsewhere, in a less strict branch of Christianity.

It pains me to think that any priest would try to send away someone who wants to become Catholic. Anyone. Much less someone who is suffering so deeply through the sins of others. All I can do is echo others who say you should talk to a different priest. I hope that it is just that you and he have a hard time understanding each other. (I don’t mean because of an accent or whatever, I just mean that sometimes two people think so differently from each other that it is difficult for them not to misunderstand each other.) But either way, whether it is miscommunication between you or whether it is that the priest is misinformed, the best thing would be to just forget about that meeting and talk to another priest.

Please don’t give up. I’m sure lots of people here will be praying for you!

–Jen

 

[SeekingDaughter]

Because the church is run by flawed men who try there best to listen to the Holy Spirit, & sometimes fail. Im so sorry you had to deal with that. I’m sure theres a way you can join the Church & if not, our loving God knows you are sorry & has seen all the sacrifices you have made to follow him. Theres a decon at my Church that during one of the sermons spoke out against what the priest you met with said. Anyway best of luck & God bless!

What was it he spoke out against, exactly? And thank you.

Thank you all, sooo sooo much for all your kind words! You have helped me to understand that I can move forward with this path! I think you guys are God’s voice to me… maybe that is why he was silent during all my prayers.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

 

[Bonnie]

Seeking Daughter (Love your name!)

You might want to read a life of Dorothy Day. Before her conversion she had an abortion & was living with a man. I can’t remember if she was pregnant again or had already had her daughter. Because he refused to marry her, she had to make a choice between him & the Church. She chose the Church.

 

[Student09]

If I recall correctly, I think his exact words were, “Being Catholic … (pause here) isn’t for everyone. Not everyone’s lives sit well with our rules. Consider that before you pursue this any farther.”

As others have said, we may be misunderstanding and should assume in charity that the priest did not mean what it sounds like or that he just expressed himself badly. But you need to know that this is not true and not Catholic teaching. The Catholic Church precisely is for everyone - “Catholic” means “universal.” Jesus prayed that all would be one.

Do find another parish and another priest. You may need to go through an RCIA program before you can complete your sacraments, or you might be able to find a priest who can give you Confession sooner, then perhaps Confirmation a little later, and finally Holy Communion (I have heard of this happening, although I just went through the RCIA program and received all of my sacraments at once). The time it takes to come into the Church is really a time of healing, from our own sins and from the sins others have committed against us. When I came into the Church, I felt that it was taking forever and I hated waiting - but afterward, I saw that there was a lot of good that came from being made to wait. And God was with me the whole time, and will be (and is) with you.

Whatever happens, know that you are not excluded, you are not unforgiven, and we Catholics want you very much!

 

[SeekingDaughter]

Hi SeekingDaughter,

Just to make sure we are all clear, do you mean you were not baptized Catholic or that you were not baptized at all? The Catholic Church recognizes most Protestant baptisms. You can only be validly baptized once in your life–it brings you into the family of Christ. If there is any doubt whether you have been baptized, you would be conditionally baptized when you come into the Church, which means basically, “If you haven’t been validly baptized before, I’m baptizing you now.”

I was baptized as a baby (I think it was a Protestant church… it was a First Congregational Church), but we no longer posses any paper documentation of it, and I’m not sure if they church would still have it or not? Do churches keep records of those things?

Is it possible to request a conditional baptism? I really would like to have it done now that I am old enough to understand its affects!

Seeking Daughter (Love your name!)

You might want to read a life of Dorothy Day. Before her conversion she had an abortion & was living with a man. I can’t remember if she was pregnant again or had already had her daughter. Because he refused to marry her, she had to make a choice between him & the Church. She chose the Church.

I certainly will look her up. Thank You!!!

As others have said, we may be misunderstanding and should assume in charity that the priest did not mean what it sounds like or that he just expressed himself badly. But you need to know that this is not true and not Catholic teaching. The Catholic Church precisely is for everyone - “Catholic” means “universal.” Jesus prayed that all would be one.

Do find another parish and another priest. You may need to go through an RCIA program before you can complete your sacraments, or you might be able to find a priest who can give you Confession sooner, then perhaps Confirmation a little later, and finally Holy Communion (I have heard of this happening, although I just went through the RCIA program and received all of my sacraments at once). The time it takes to come into the Church is really a time of healing, from our own sins and from the sins others have committed against us. When I came into the Church, I felt that it was taking forever and I hated waiting - but afterward, I saw that there was a lot of good that came from being made to wait. And God was with me the whole time, and will be (and is) with you.

Whatever happens, know that you are not excluded, you are not unforgiven, and we Catholics want you very much!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

 

[domandcarols]

I was baptized as a baby (I think it was a Protestant church… it was a First Congregational Church), but we no longer posses any paper documentation of it, and I’m not sure if they church would still have it or not? Do churches keep records of those things?

Is it possible to request a conditional baptism? I really would like to have it done now that I am old enough to understand its affects!

I certainly will look her up. Thank You!!!

!

I think the church would still have the records, they should anyway and if they don’t I think it’s up to the parish priest to decide whether to allow you a conditional baptism.
I’m trying to reply to your pm but it says your inbox is full. I never knew there was a limit, lol.

 

[SeekingDaughter]

I think it is limiting me because I am a new member, It’s only allowing me 5 sent and inbox messages- TOTAL. LOL. It’s kind of annoying haha.

 

[MorningSong51]

Another thought occurs to me. Abortion, even in the circumstances you’ve described, is considered by Catholics to be potentially a very serious sin. Mind you you were very young and impressionable, which makes it unlikely that it would be a mortal sin for you.

Perhaps he was under the impression that you weren’t aware of this teaching or didn’t agree with it?

What does the church consider the age of reason and in this case, at what age do they considers a person responsible to a particular type of sin - a mortal sin? Are the two age groups the same or different?

I think the subject was brought up awhile back on the forum:

The three requirements for mortal sin: (CCC 1857)
Grave matter
Full knowledge
Deliberate consent

Also, the post you wrote was very good and I hope the OP does seek out another priest. This is just a note to SeekingDaughter, you are in very good hands with the Catholic religion - hang in there and I’m sure that you will find a priest that will help you. Also, I would take the advice from the writers on thread - sign up for RCIA. I think you might even get involved - or ask someone what you can do to get more involved within the church.

I’ll pray (very hard) that all this will eventually work out and that you will not have any additional problems.

 

[SeekingDaughter]

Thank you. :grouphug:You are all so wonderful here.

 

[Monica4316]

I’m not really sure if this is int he right section. Mods, please feel free to move it if you need to!

I’m really, very sad about this…and I don;t know how to put any of this gently, so I’ll just spit it all out.

I was not baptized or raised Catholic, but I was raised Christian.

When I was 13, I was molested and raped, and had to have an abortion as a direct result. Because of being told by a few people in my life that “I was no longer a virgin, so it was silly of me to hold out for sex until marriage now,” I was not chaste.

I am now 22 years old, and about a year ago, I was Saved, and I discussed with my pastor that I wanted to wait until marriage again, and how much of an issue this was causing with my boyfriend. My pastor assured me that I could be pure again, and that I needed to break up with this boyfriend. I did, and I have grown deeply in my faith.

Recently, I have felt I needed a more structured sense of faith, and the more I read about Catholicism, the more interested I became. Eventually, I decided I wanted to become Catholic, and I looked into talking to a local priest about how to take steps to do this.

While I have managed to deal with the scars of my past, and I consider myself to be a normal young woman, I also am beginning to realize I never dealt with the spiritual damage that my past abuse caused. I have started feeling that confessing my fears, pains, and sinful actions related to this will do me a world of good, and I wanted to get it out of the way before trying to become a member of the church, so I didn’t have it weighing on me.

I never talk to anyone about this. I mean never. After the initial abuse and the abortion, I worked through it all myself- in my head. I never went to counciling, and it is a subject that I never speak to my mother or anyone else about. But I decided to buck up, gather my courage, and be completely upfront about this with the priest so that I could find out how this would affect me.

When I managed to spit all this out to the priest, he looked at me with a deep frown, took a deep breath, and essentially told me (this a shortened version, as I can’t remember word for word), that because I was not Catholic, I could not go to confession and have my sins forgiven. And because I had committed the sins of sex outside of marriage and abortion, I could not enter the Catholic church with those “mortal sins” behind me. So, essentially, he told me “He didn’t really have an answer for me, and that he was very sorry.” And proceeded to encourage me to find faith elsewhere, in a less strict branch of Christianity.

Once I left, I sat by myself for a long time and cried. The church I had so hoped to join can’t accept me. The one church that seems to be the real voice of God, does not want me. And if they don’t want me and can’t forgive me, how can God? How can any church, really?

I’m so lost. I have prayed endlessly about it…but God is silent. I’m desperate enough now, I’m coming here and asking strangers for advice.

What should I do? Where should I go? How do I find forgiveness? I don’t want to go to Hell!:sad_bye:

dear sister :hug1:

I’m so sorry for your pain. There’s one thing I don’t understand at all. Why did the priest tell you that you can’t go to Confession if you want to become Catholic? Yes as a non Catholic, you can’t go to Confession in a Catholic Church. And yes Confession is the ordinary way we are forgiven of sin. But why not just enter the Church, - and then go to Confession? In that case, you would go through RCIA, go to Confession, then be confirmed (become Catholic), and then you’re forgiven and Catholic I’m a convert and I went to Confession before formally entering the Church! that is how it is done for everyone. I think maybe it could help to speak with another priest. Because the teaching of the Church is that yes only Catholics can go to Confession, but if you’re becoming Catholic, then Confession WOULD be part of the process of doing this! All the converts from other Christian churches are received this way they ALL go to Confession, and then are confirmed (if they were Protestant and were baptized, if they were not baptized, they get baptized) - and then they can receive Communion.

Don’t fear!! you CAN become Catholic and go to Confession as a Catholic, and have everything forgiven… I am puzzled why you were told that you can’t. Maybe the priest just misunderstood you or expressed himself in such a way that you got confused with what he said. Try to speak to another priest in your area, and - just from experience, - the more traditional parishes are usually more faithful in following the Church teaching.

God bless!!

 

[Monica4316]

Really? That’s such a relief! You have no idea how much better you’re responses have made me feel!

As for his directing me to a different branch- he didn’t say that directly. If I recall correctly, I think his exact words were, “Being Catholic … (pause here) isn’t for everyone. Not everyone’s lives sit well with our rules. Consider that before you pursue this any farther.”

I took that to me he was suggesting I may be better off elsewhere.

EEP! Maybe I took it the wrong way? I certainly wouldn’t want to misrepresent what he said! My deepest apologies if I made a mistake there!

But thank you all, again, SO MUCH… I will continue to search on and see if this is the right path for me!

God Bless you all!

it sounds like maybe he meant that if you want to become Catholic, you need to be ready to follow the Catholic “rules”. That’s true, but time is given to the person to learn these rules and teachings and accept them… and if you want to accept them before then, then great! I think he just meant it’s a serious step so the person should know what they are doing when making it RCIA is typically for that.

And LilyM- maybe he thought I thought the abortion was ok because it was the result of rape? At the time, I didn’t really know what was going on. I just went were I was told, and did as I was told. Now that I’m older, of course I know it was wrong… but I assumed HE knew that I didn’t make the decision myself, and so didn’t express that. Maybe that’s where things got confused??

Maybe! sometimes miscommunication happens if you like this parish, maybe you could go back to this priest and explain to him more of your thoughts

I was baptized as a baby (I think it was a Protestant church… it was a First Congregational Church), but we no longer posses any paper documentation of it, and I’m not sure if they church would still have it or not? Do churches keep records of those things?

most do… were you baptized in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit? that is most important: if you were, then your baptism if valid. If not, then you’ll be baptized in the Church. Try to contact the church for paperwork… if they don’t have it, that’s fine, you can get a conditional baptism (which would only be effective if your first one was invalid), and you’ll go to Confession too in case your first baptism was valid. (because there’s only one baptism).

Is it possible to request a conditional baptism? I really would like to have it done now that I am old enough to understand its affects!

yes, it’s possible, if there is no paperwork. It’s only valid if your first baptism was invalid, like I wrote above. So you’ll still have Confession as well.

God bless

 

[Perth21]

I think it is non-sense to think you can’t be forgiven when you had so much suffering and you kept your faith, in fact you let it grow as you did. There is a beautiful passage in the bible about a woman who is caught in the act of adultery, and the men that caught her, including the one she was caught with, take her to Jesus and say ‘Master, this woman was caught in the act of adultery and the law decrees that she be stoned to death’, but to that, our God replied with ‘let him that is free of sin cast the first stone’. One by one the men left, and Jesus, the only one free of sin, told the woman that none of the men had condemned her, and that neither would He. He told her that He forgave her, and that she go, and turn from her life of sin…

You have been a victim, and I think it is quite harsh to say you would be condemned for what you experienced… and to be honest, I admire you for your faith, for your ability to love God even in your hard times… you remind me of Job, who was the purest in the eyes of the Lord, as he stayed free of sin and did not even rebuke the Lord when the Lord let illness come upon him… God loves you, and He will not let you go unforgiven for your hardships, especially when they were not your fault and when you kept your love for Him as you did… I say to you as Jesus said once to a believer… ‘woman, your faith has healed you!’ Go get baptised, go and praise the lord, and assure you that you will be welcomed into the Catholic Church! The Catholic Church, she has her arms wide open for you, and Jesus is with you every step of the way, so welcome, and shalom
:hug3:

 

[SeekingDaughter]

Thank you all! You’re words have deepened my faith.

And to update you all- I have found a Church home, I think. A friend went with me to a few catholic services the last 2 days at a different parish, and I have come out feeling excited, loved, and wlecomed. The priest there is the cutest little Phillipino man with energy and kindness that just radiates off of him. I haven’t had the guts to talk to him directly yet, but I just want to shrink him and put him in my pack pocket and take him home with me!

After the service tonight, we went with the youth group and volunteered to help put together baskets of food for a Christmas dinner for 300+ need families. It was much fun. When we were waiting for the last set o people to finish up, out of boredom, my friend and I started to Swing Dance. When we stopped, a teenage guy came up to us and asked us to teach him.

The youth leader introduced us to the Young Adult Leader, and they invited us to a young adult meeting this Friday. I’m not sure I can make it, but I’m certainly going to try!

I really feel I have found the right place here! Thank you all sooo much for encouraging me to continue to seek out a new place! <3

 

[dochawk]

As so many have noted, either the priest was Wong or you misunderstood; you are more than welcome in the Church.

If you were baptized by immersion or pouring, and in the name of the Trinity (Fther, Son, and Holiy Spirit/ Ghost, not “in the name of Jesus”, “Creator, Redemer, and Sustainer,” or by sprinkling from a rose)’ you vave been Baptized, and that’s that. If not, you haven’t. If it can’t be determined what the church that “baptized” you would have done, you will be conditionally baptized. You will not be “rebaptised” under any circumstance.

Having faced that particular evil and face of Hell, you are particularly “qualified” to speak with young women I that circumstance.

Years ago, during Operation Rescue’s heyday, I did a trial for them. I didnt approve of their methods, but for any other abuse, attorneys would have been lined up.

It was a particularly “sane” group that had thrown out the, uhh, crazy, element that got most of the press. They understood that they couldn’t stop what was happening, and were focused on getting a chance, even a brief one, to talk to the women.

Contrary to what the press and NOW claimed, at least the group I worked with was majority female–and by about the number of women there who had themselves had abortions.

the past can’t be undone, but you can certainly use it in a way that others can’t to stop further evil. Go on the suggested retreat, join the church, and do what is in your power.

BY the way, four children, including twins, we’re born from that day’s rescue. I asked one woman on the stand why she’d participated, and the response was “to save other women from what I went through after my abortion.”. The jury and judge were won over, but the jury reluctantly convicted. the judge changed her prior ruling and allowed them to serve their sentences doing pro-life work (well, as long as it was legal ). The prosecutor was outraged . . .

There is a bright place in the Church for you; I hope you will enter.

hawk (esq.)

 

[mamaslo]

Really? That’s such a relief! You have no idea how much better you’re responses have made me feel!

As for his directing me to a different branch- he didn’t say that directly. If I recall correctly, I think his exact words were, “Being Catholic … (pause here) isn’t for everyone. Not everyone’s lives sit well with our rules. Consider that before you pursue this any farther.”

I took that to me he was suggesting I may be better off elsewhere.

EEP! Maybe I took it the wrong way? I certainly wouldn’t want to misrepresent what he said! My deepest apologies if I made a mistake there!

But thank you all, again, SO MUCH… I will continue to search on and see if this is the right path for me!

God Bless you all!

And LilyM- maybe he thought I thought the abortion was ok because it was the result of rape? At the time, I didn’t really know what was going on. I just went were I was told, and did as I was told. Now that I’m older, of course I know it was wrong… but I assumed HE knew that I didn’t make the decision myself, and so didn’t express that. Maybe that’s where things got confused??

I think that very often the language of the Church and the people who understand it is different than other churches. Very often misinterpretations happen. Things like venerate the saints is often interpreted as worship. That is only one example.

It may be helpful to take your questions back to the priest you spoke with and ask these questions…he knows what he said.

I have noticed that since I have been on both protestant and Catholic I understand both languages better. I have a friends who get upset with protestant interpretations of our beliefs as Catholics and they can get sarcastic. I think often, it is a problem of looking at the same thing with differing philosophies. This changes the definition of the words we use. Having Jesus as your personal lord and savior means two different things to a catholic and protestant.

To the catholic, while having a relationship with Jesus is personal, it is a community event. We are one body. Salvation does not happen because we have “accepted him as a personal lord and savior”…salvation is proved through ongoing actions toward loving Christ and keeping ourselves in a right relationship with Him. To a protestant, it is often taken as a one time absolute. Catholics believe we have been given the gift of salvation but we have to recieve it…and live it out until the very end.

What we do agree upon is the necessity to seek the will of God in our lives, having a relationship with Him, and doing those things that are right in the Lord.

In the end we mean the same thing. If you believe in “once saved, always saved” and act like you are not saved, then you were never saved to begin with…we as Catholics believe it is all a journey and are saved through Christ in Baptism, but we must walk the walk and talk the talk. Which really is so very similar in meaning but we see the same thing from different philosophies and the terms get confusing.

So I can fully understand you might have misunderstood the language of the conversation and you need clarification so you can understand better what is expected of you. Meanwhile, the priest can know better where you are coming from and also minister better to others because of your misconceptions…based on the wording and definitions of the first discussion.

Peace.

 

[Monica4316]

Thank you all! You’re words have deepened my faith.

And to update you all- I have found a Church home, I think. A friend went with me to a few catholic services the last 2 days at a different parish, and I have come out feeling excited, loved, and wlecomed. The priest there is the cutest little Phillipino man with energy and kindness that just radiates off of him. I haven’t had the guts to talk to him directly yet, but I just want to shrink him and put him in my pack pocket and take him home with me!

After the service tonight, we went with the youth group and volunteered to help put together baskets of food for a Christmas dinner for 300+ need families. It was much fun. When we were waiting for the last set o people to finish up, out of boredom, my friend and I started to Swing Dance. When we stopped, a teenage guy came up to us and asked us to teach him.

The youth leader introduced us to the Young Adult Leader, and they invited us to a young adult meeting this Friday. I’m not sure I can make it, but I’m certainly going to try!

I really feel I have found the right place here! Thank you all sooo much for encouraging me to continue to seek out a new place! <3

Awesome! thank you for letting us know