Y
Yeoman
Guest
Thank you for your suggestions!
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an alternative browser.
You should upgrade or use an alternative browser.
- Status
- Not open for further replies.
Y
Yeoman
Guest
While I’m tempted to argue with these points, I won’t as I know that they are well thought out and there’s a lot of truth behind all of them. So I’ll carefully consider them.Don’t do it. Please.
Some thoughts:
- Quitting is easy. What makes you think it will be equally easy to, say, just to back to work all of a sudden on day 30? Day 60? Day 180?
- I’ve worked so hard at a lawyer job I got myself sick over it. That said, when I was on disability for 3 months, I saw how very easy it was to call into a pattern of sleep late, lay around the house in sweatpants, and do nothing. I hated being out of work and my mind tuned to mush. If you quit, this will likely become you.
- The law is a harsh job to try to walk back into after you’ve been out of it for a while. Cases get reversed. Judges at the courthouse who knew you retire and you find you have no contacts anymore. Worse, they whisper “what happened to mr. Yeoman? Did he have a breakdown?” Being a lawyer is a skill that requires industry, not sitting on the sidelines.
- If you have teenagers and a wife you have an obligation to support them. Your wife’s attitude is correct. Lots of people dislike their jobs. Very few just walk out in them - don’t you be one of them.
- To the extent you may be relying on a small inheritance, I’ll quote George bailey: “mr. Potter, do you have any idea how long it takes to save $500?” Point is, an inheritance is something to be guarded, not something that lets you finance indolence. If you’re unhappy at work, there are lots of things to do that don’t involve walking out cold.
Giving advice that doesn’t want to be received is a big part of being a lawyer. The dispiriting part of that is how often it isn’t even considered. I’ll at least not make that mistake.
M
Mummsie
Guest
Yeoman, so sorry for your loss. I lost my Mom in January.
I tend to agree somewhat with PolarGuy. It sounds like you’re main intent is to “get out” with no plans for “what’s next”. I also suggest you pray and ask for God’s guidance. He does have a plan for you. It may be different from you and your wife’s ideas.
As a wife and mother (children all grown), I can certainly understand the fear your wife might be feeling. There are so many stories now of people losing their homes, etc.
Praying the Holy Spirit will inspire and guide you.
God Bless You.
I tend to agree somewhat with PolarGuy. It sounds like you’re main intent is to “get out” with no plans for “what’s next”. I also suggest you pray and ask for God’s guidance. He does have a plan for you. It may be different from you and your wife’s ideas.
As a wife and mother (children all grown), I can certainly understand the fear your wife might be feeling. There are so many stories now of people losing their homes, etc.
Praying the Holy Spirit will inspire and guide you.
God Bless You.
Y
Yeoman
Guest
I too am sorry for your loss. I know that I have found the loss of my mother to be extremely disorienting,to say the least. She was 92.Yeoman, so sorry for your loss. I lost my Mom in January.
I tend to agree somewhat with PolarGuy. It sounds like you’re main intent is to “get out” with no plans for “what’s next”. I also suggest you pray and ask for God’s guidance. He does have a plan for you. It may be different from you and your wife’s ideas.
As a wife and mother (children all grown), I can certainly understand the fear your wife might be feeling. There are so many stories now of people losing their homes, etc.
Praying the Holy Spirit will inspire and guide you.
God Bless You.
Thank you and PolarGuy for your thoughts. After trying to run numbers through my head and on on line financial calculators I realize that its risky. So at least for the time being I’ll try to push it out of my head.
It is hard to accept, really. I feel like a plow mule, or maybe like an old warhorse that gets shot at from time to time.
M
Mummsie
Guest
I can’t even imagine the weight you are struggling with. Have you tried some quiet time with our Lord in Adoration? Do you have any hobbies? Are you able to enjoy your “down time”?
I know deep in my heart that God has a plan for each of us. Sometimes, desperate times call for a total submission to God’s will. When I finally submitted to His will, my life became less stressed. Issues and obstacles keep coming, but I know he is with me. I am so much more serene now.
Praying for some peace in your life. God Bless You
Mummsie
I know deep in my heart that God has a plan for each of us. Sometimes, desperate times call for a total submission to God’s will. When I finally submitted to His will, my life became less stressed. Issues and obstacles keep coming, but I know he is with me. I am so much more serene now.
Praying for some peace in your life. God Bless You
Mummsie
Y
Yeoman
Guest
I have a question I’ll pose, related to this thread. I fear that it seems to be irreverent but I don’t mean for it to be.
Last Sunday, our Parish Priest emphasized Christ’s statement “ask and you shall receive”. The reading of course was the story of the unjust judge.
I note this as I’ve prayed quite often that I be relieved of my occupation of a lawyer for something else, and yet here I am, still stuck in this position. A job I recently applied for didn’t even get me a reply, and its the second time that’s occurred.
How should I interpret this. My prayer is seemingly a simple one, I want out. I have heard some people say that sometimes the answer to a prayer is “no”, but that seems too simplistic. Maybe the way out is presented and I don’t see it? I’m left desperate and yet keep repeating the request.
Last Sunday, our Parish Priest emphasized Christ’s statement “ask and you shall receive”. The reading of course was the story of the unjust judge.
I note this as I’ve prayed quite often that I be relieved of my occupation of a lawyer for something else, and yet here I am, still stuck in this position. A job I recently applied for didn’t even get me a reply, and its the second time that’s occurred.
How should I interpret this. My prayer is seemingly a simple one, I want out. I have heard some people say that sometimes the answer to a prayer is “no”, but that seems too simplistic. Maybe the way out is presented and I don’t see it? I’m left desperate and yet keep repeating the request.
M
mommyof4
Guest
I don’t have a great answer for this, but do you have a spiritual director? My husband has one, and he has not only given great spiritual advice, but great professional advice, too. Although my husband has moved out of law quite a few years ago, he is now in education and he is at a professional crossroads, too (becoming a principal, remaining a teacher, or becoming a parish administrator). The director has given his some good, practical advice in this matter. Maybe it would help you, too. For whatever it’s worth, I have been in soul-sucking jobs for a period of time, and it really does stink. You are in my prayers.I have a question I’ll pose, related to this thread. I fear that it seems to be irreverent but I don’t mean for it to be.
Last Sunday, our Parish Priest emphasized Christ’s statement “ask and you shall receive”. The reading of course was the story of the unjust judge.
I note this as I’ve prayed quite often that I be relieved of my occupation of a lawyer for something else, and yet here I am, still stuck in this position. A job I recently applied for didn’t even get me a reply, and its the second time that’s occurred.
How should I interpret this. My prayer is seemingly a simple one, I want out. I have heard some people say that sometimes the answer to a prayer is “no”, but that seems too simplistic. Maybe the way out is presented and I don’t see it? I’m left desperate and yet keep repeating the request.
Y
Yeoman
Guest
I don’t have a spiritual director.I don’t have a great answer for this, but do you have a spiritual director? My husband has one, and he has not only given great spiritual advice, but great professional advice, too. Although my husband has moved out of law quite a few years ago, he is now in education and he is at a professional crossroads, too (becoming a principal, remaining a teacher, or becoming a parish administrator). The director has given his some good, practical advice in this matter. Maybe it would help you, too. For whatever it’s worth, I have been in soul-sucking jobs for a period of time, and it really does stink. You are in my prayers.
Indeed, one of the ironies of my position is that in recent years I’ve ended in some parish roles where my occupation, but not my desire to get out, is well known. I suppose that doesn’t preclude me from seeking a spiritual director however.
Y
Yeoman
Guest
Yesterday provides an example of what is so frustrating to me. I sent out a job application to an employer, the third over the past year, which involved my undergraduate degree rather than my law degree (the first two involved both). Yesterday the rejection came in.
I expected it to be rejected, but it’s disappointing none the less. The first two examples I didn’t even hear back.
So as a result I’ll be going to work for foreseeable future stuck where I am, again. I’d hoped, and prayed, to be relieved from this this month. I know that this is unrealistic, but we’re told to ask and we shall receive. We’re also told to knock and the door will be opened. Maybe I’m just not knocking at the right place but this is discouraging.
I expected it to be rejected, but it’s disappointing none the less. The first two examples I didn’t even hear back.
So as a result I’ll be going to work for foreseeable future stuck where I am, again. I’d hoped, and prayed, to be relieved from this this month. I know that this is unrealistic, but we’re told to ask and we shall receive. We’re also told to knock and the door will be opened. Maybe I’m just not knocking at the right place but this is discouraging.
M
mommyof4
Guest
What kind of work are you looking for?
Y
Yeoman
Guest
I logged back in on this and realized I hadn’t answered your question.What kind of work are you looking for?
And the reason I’ve logged back in is that over the last few weeks I’ve resigned myself to the realization that my dreams of escaping the law are not going to come true. Maybe realizing that is the answer to my prayers.
Early on, in answer to your question, what I really wanted to do was to farm/ranch. I do that a little in association with my in laws, who do it full time, but I have been doing it less and less as I’m so busy as a lawyer. And now I see that at my current age I shall not escape. There’s a lesson here and I’m trying not to be bitter. It’s all my fault, and there’s nobody to blame but for me, but because of my outlook I fear that I could be a negative influence on those I know who may consider this for a career, etc.
So, I’ve failed at my goal, and that’s a major life failure. Accepting that is one of my 2017 resolutions.
M
Mummsie
Guest
Your goal may not have been God’s plan for you. This may be your time for total submission to God’s will. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you.
God Bless You.
God Bless You.
Y
Yeoman
Guest
You may well be right.Your goal may not have been God’s plan for you. This may be your time for total submission to God’s will. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you.
God Bless You.
R
Ridgerunner
Guest
I know a fair number of lawyers, worked with them and against them. I have attended bar “meetings” at which everybody gets half drunk and lets their hair down. It’s interesting how many hate what they’re doing or say they do. My impression is that the discontent is largely caused by the chaos that is inherent in most practices, particularly litigation, as well as the fact that one always has an adversary. How many other jobs provide an automatic adversary? Would accountants stay sane if every case they worked on automatically brought in an IRS agent who tried to defeat what they were trying to do for the client?
And oftentimes, the client can turn into an enemy at the drop of the hat. All are suspicious of lawyers anyway. Sometimes the lawyer can turn the relationship around, and sometimes he can’t.
It’s a crazy kind of life.
But for my own thinking, and in my own business, which has a lot of legal stuff to it, I remember a line from john Gardener’s “Sunlight Dialogues”. He said it about policemen, but it fits lawyers even better. (If I have posted this before, kindly ignore me)
“The (lawyer) stands lightly in the present moment, at the same time both committed and detached, like a true Christian or a philosopher of old, who knows this world to be no home, but a wilderness.”
I like that. I was asked once to write an obituary for a judge who died, and I quoted that. It was amazing how many lawyers I heard from about that line.
I know a lawyer who, at some point in litigated cases (other than corporate of course) always asks his client: “What do you want your life to be like after this is over?” He says the responses are sometimes astonishing, and oftentimes astonishingly good. But they nearly always expose a part of the “soul” of the litigant.
I’m thinking that to be a lawyer and not hate it, one has to gain some level of competence first, then try to stay as organized as a half-crazy system will allow, and then (and most importantly) decide how one is going to see one’s clients as human souls. But one can’t get too deeply into that or he can’t “…stand lightly in the present moment, at the same time both committed and detached…” I think a lawyer should almost think of his life as bits of a novel he’ll write someday, whether he ever does or not. But he has to know the complexities of the human being and its motivations to do it well.
On my wall I have hanging, among other things, an 18th century Japanese print of the “47th Ronin”. My wife bought it for me when she was traveling in the far East (and I couldn’t). A “Ronin”; a “wave man”. A “masterless samurai”, who is for hire, but must serve his temporary master with everything in him. That’s what a lawyer is. And the “masterless samurai” is always alone even when he’s working with others. And that’s the curse of it as well as the elevating thing about it.
His temporary “master” may be an individual, a corporation or yes, even a big family ranch. But the Ronin is never the “owner” of the fight or the “kompani” or the estate. Not a wonderful situation, but the Ronin is always still free. Almost more than anyone, the lawyer knows (because he sees it) that despite everyone’s desire to “return to Eden”, (the Eden every man desires, and foolishly thinks he’ll attain) there is an angel with a sword of fire always guarding the gate.
Is that a high-wire act? Yes, I think it is. But I also think it’s the only thing for any lawyer who does a lot of litigation.
And oftentimes, the client can turn into an enemy at the drop of the hat. All are suspicious of lawyers anyway. Sometimes the lawyer can turn the relationship around, and sometimes he can’t.
It’s a crazy kind of life.
But for my own thinking, and in my own business, which has a lot of legal stuff to it, I remember a line from john Gardener’s “Sunlight Dialogues”. He said it about policemen, but it fits lawyers even better. (If I have posted this before, kindly ignore me)
“The (lawyer) stands lightly in the present moment, at the same time both committed and detached, like a true Christian or a philosopher of old, who knows this world to be no home, but a wilderness.”
I like that. I was asked once to write an obituary for a judge who died, and I quoted that. It was amazing how many lawyers I heard from about that line.
I know a lawyer who, at some point in litigated cases (other than corporate of course) always asks his client: “What do you want your life to be like after this is over?” He says the responses are sometimes astonishing, and oftentimes astonishingly good. But they nearly always expose a part of the “soul” of the litigant.
I’m thinking that to be a lawyer and not hate it, one has to gain some level of competence first, then try to stay as organized as a half-crazy system will allow, and then (and most importantly) decide how one is going to see one’s clients as human souls. But one can’t get too deeply into that or he can’t “…stand lightly in the present moment, at the same time both committed and detached…” I think a lawyer should almost think of his life as bits of a novel he’ll write someday, whether he ever does or not. But he has to know the complexities of the human being and its motivations to do it well.
On my wall I have hanging, among other things, an 18th century Japanese print of the “47th Ronin”. My wife bought it for me when she was traveling in the far East (and I couldn’t). A “Ronin”; a “wave man”. A “masterless samurai”, who is for hire, but must serve his temporary master with everything in him. That’s what a lawyer is. And the “masterless samurai” is always alone even when he’s working with others. And that’s the curse of it as well as the elevating thing about it.
His temporary “master” may be an individual, a corporation or yes, even a big family ranch. But the Ronin is never the “owner” of the fight or the “kompani” or the estate. Not a wonderful situation, but the Ronin is always still free. Almost more than anyone, the lawyer knows (because he sees it) that despite everyone’s desire to “return to Eden”, (the Eden every man desires, and foolishly thinks he’ll attain) there is an angel with a sword of fire always guarding the gate.
Is that a high-wire act? Yes, I think it is. But I also think it’s the only thing for any lawyer who does a lot of litigation.
- Status
- Not open for further replies.