Unhappy Catholic Lawyers

[BernadetteM]

B, thanks for your thoughts, and I’m sorry you had bad experiences with lawyers. So have I – and very professions are immune from such stories. There’s ‘bad’ everything(s). As a lawyer who worked for 20 years in the criminal/juvenile system, I can assure you ‘greed’ has been nowhere on my map. There must be money available for greed to take hold. Most of the clients I represented were indigent (broke) or I represented the government (also broke). I haven’t practiced law to get wealthy, and I am not wealthy. Retirement is not an option for me. But I do feel badly for you and I’ll say a rosary in your name!

Thank you for your prayers and understanding. It had been 3 years of hell and finally two days ago the divorce is over and the sociopath (who fools most people) will no longer have control over his very ill wife or at least two of his daughters. Although much harm has been done to the whole family, I pray that someday all the children will be able to know the truth and be strengthened. I will say this the court, CPS and others tried to force the victim to reunite with the abuser, as he continued to heap as much emotional abuse on his wife and continue to disobey court orders that were never enforced. The system is broken and this contributes to my poor opinions of most lawyers. Too bad there isn’t a list of the honest ones. I do find it strange that “fathers” can abuse a child and go free, but not a neighbor or stranger.

We need more good Catholic or at least Christians of other sects as lawyers, this would make a hugh difference.

Thanks again.

Bernadette

 

[AnneTeresa]

Thanks for your (name removed by moderator)ut. The career development professional I have met with is much more skeptical than you. She basically told me that I was naïve if I thought that my 20 years of law would transfer easily into the corporate world. She thinks I should ‘just stay in the law.’

I never said it would be easy. But you (and everyone) have transferable skills. It takes a qualified person to help you dig those out and figure out what to do with them as you pursue a change. A well-trained counselor or career development professional does not tell you what to do. They help YOU figure out what is best for you.

Generally career transitions (which this would be) are not easy. It takes a lot of work to figure out how to present yourself, and time and determination on your part to position yourself so that you get interviews, and then persuade the employer that you are willing to make the change. If you go in with only your trial and lawyer experience showing in a chronological resume, you will not get the interview. But if you play your your strengths such as analysis, public speaking, research, etc., you may be able to get your foot in the door. Only you can decide if it is worth what it would take and if you are fed up enough to make a change.

My father was an attorney and I have several attorney relatives so I am familiar with the challenges, on top of my training in career development. But if you are unhappy you are the only one who can change it; no one else can do it. You would need to decide to let other people’s comments roll off you and do what you know is best for you regardless of lower income, the challenge of the change, etc. Of course that is not easy. The way you have presented it here you absolutely hate your job. Unless you can figure out how to stop hating it and make it a way to serve God, then in ten years you might be feeling the same and questioning why you are still there. Or you may learn to make peace with it and do what you can even to help others even in an adversarial field.

Also, maybe I missed this in this long string somehow, but have you considered asking God how he wants to use you?

 

[mommyof4]

Any other unhappy Catholic lawyers out there?

Mine was! He quit, and is now a teacher at a Catholic High School. Less money, better job satisfaction.

 

[AnneTeresa]

For those who say it’s impossible to get out of law once you are in, I know personally know a man who got his JD, went into law, hated it, and went into academia. He now is liking his life and his job. Yes, he’s still paying off loans, but at least he does not hate going to work every single day.

There are career counselors in the career office of major universities for a reason. (I work at a university and we have a specific law career office.) It would be a good idea to see if you can talk to one of these people who really know what they are talking about regarding a career change.

 

[jilly4ski]

For those who say it’s impossible to get out of law once you are in, I know personally know a man who got his JD, went into law, hated it, and went into academia. He now is liking his life and his job. Yes, he’s still paying off loans, but at least he does not hate going to work every single day.

There are career counselors in the career office of major universities for a reason. (I work at a university and we have a specific law career office.) It would be a good idea to see if you can talk to one of these people who really know what they are talking about regarding a career change.

It is true you can get into academia, but you had better gone to a top law school, and practiced several years at a prestigious law firm, or published in several law journals. Oh yes, you can always get into the legal placement side of things (career services/temp agencies), if you have practiced for a few years and live in a big city. But I would warn people, that you are still looking at long hours or at least being wedded to your phone/email while at home.

 

[mommyof4]

“I hate my job as a lawyer, and I hate being a litigator. I wish I could go back and wipe out the fact that I am a lawyer, and wipe out the past quarter century of being a lawyer. I know I’ve helped some people, but my gosh this is a horrible situation.”

My husband, an ex-attorney-turned-teacher, wants me to pass on this message:

It’s like you have written exactly my story. I did well in law school and got a great job. I soon opened my own firm and was bringing in pretty good money. I was getting old, fat and mean! I finally either gave up and/or got the courage to jump ship. After practicing law for 7 years, in 2001 I went into education and loved it. I was much less stressed, loved the kids I was working with (high school) and was much healthier. I ran into an old lawyer friend of mine and he joked that I was aging backward – looked younger than I did 7 years prior. A perfect storm of events caused me to go back into law in 2008, and by 2010 I was back to the same bad attitude, anger, poor health, etc. I nearly went off the deep end. Fortunately, i was lucky enough to get BACK into education and I couldn’t be happier. My biggest regret is thinking I could/should get back into law. Life is too short, man. Get out. Run far and run fast. Find something that allows you enjoy your life, your kids, your family. Give more time to God and less to the almighty dollar. I know it is tough – I was there. One income (pretty big one too) stay-at-home wife and kids, 2 new car payments and house payments. Now I drive a 14 year old farm truck, raise a lot of our own food and have summers off. Life is Good. God Bless!!

 

[erine]

To the unhappy catholic lawyers, I just want to bring up a subject no one has mentioned yet–the lawyer Saint Thomas More, an extremely holy and brave lawyer in his day. I do not mean to make light of the difficulties of your life. I have a lot of experience with the law due to family troubles growing up and I know how soul-trying that career can be. But I’m just bringing up Thomas More as a person to pray to and maybe as a help to get less discouraged by the situation, even as you all pray for the right path.

 

[Yeoman]

It is true you can get into academia, but you had better gone to a top law school, and practiced several years at a prestigious law firm, or published in several law journals. Oh yes, you can always get into the legal placement side of things (career services/temp agencies), if you have practiced for a few years and live in a big city. But I would warn people, that you are still looking at long hours or at least being wedded to your phone/email while at home.

Very insightful. An aspect of that is that many of the alternative careers that are suggested for lawyers absolutely require relocation, which has its own problems.

For example, there are vast areas of the United States where there is no Catholic public education. That is, there aren’t any Catholic high schools, and there aren’t even any Catholic schools. That comes as a bit of a shock to people in states where they are common, but in the more rural states, particularly in states that are rural and where Catholics are a minority, Catholic grade schools are going to be the only Catholic education there is, assuming that even exists.

Law schools themselves generally do not hire experienced lawyers and instead hire lawyers who have taken on an “academic” path very early on. A person can speculate as to why that is the case, but its fairly easily observable.

So for many lawyers in towns and smaller cities, a path out of the is extremely difficult. That path out might mean relocation to a big city. That may be the path they have to pay, for for many people that would not be an easy decision in its own right, particularly as most lawyers entered the occupation with much more modest career goals than people would guess. Often the goal was in fact to have what seemed to be a decent middle class career in the location where they grew up.

 

[Yeoman]

“I hate my job as a lawyer, and I hate being a litigator. I wish I could go back and wipe out the fact that I am a lawyer, and wipe out the past quarter century of being a lawyer. I know I’ve helped some people, but my gosh this is a horrible situation.”

My husband, an ex-attorney-turned-teacher, wants me to pass on this message:

It’s like you have written exactly my story. I did well in law school and got a great job. I soon opened my own firm and was bringing in pretty good money. I was getting old, fat and mean! I finally either gave up and/or got the courage to jump ship. After practicing law for 7 years, in 2001 I went into education and loved it. I was much less stressed, loved the kids I was working with (high school) and was much healthier. I ran into an old lawyer friend of mine and he joked that I was aging backward – looked younger than I did 7 years prior. A perfect storm of events caused me to go back into law in 2008, and by 2010 I was back to the same bad attitude, anger, poor health, etc. I nearly went off the deep end. Fortunately, i was lucky enough to get BACK into education and I couldn’t be happier. My biggest regret is thinking I could/should get back into law. Life is too short, man. Get out. Run far and run fast. Find something that allows you enjoy your life, your kids, your family. Give more time to God and less to the almighty dollar. I know it is tough – I was there. One income (pretty big one too) stay-at-home wife and kids, 2 new car payments and house payments. Now I drive a 14 year old farm truck, raise a lot of our own food and have summers off. Life is Good. God Bless!!

Thank you, I greatly appreciate your posting that.

 

[Yeoman]

“I hate my job as a lawyer, and I hate being a litigator. I wish I could go back and wipe out the fact that I am a lawyer, and wipe out the past quarter century of being a lawyer. I know I’ve helped some people, but my gosh this is a horrible situation.”

My husband, an ex-attorney-turned-teacher, wants me to pass on this message:

It’s like you have written exactly my story. I did well in law school and got a great job. I soon opened my own firm and was bringing in pretty good money. I was getting old, fat and mean! I finally either gave up and/or got the courage to jump ship. After practicing law for 7 years, in 2001 I went into education and loved it. I was much less stressed, loved the kids I was working with (high school) and was much healthier. I ran into an old lawyer friend of mine and he joked that I was aging backward – looked younger than I did 7 years prior. A perfect storm of events caused me to go back into law in 2008, and by 2010 I was back to the same bad attitude, anger, poor health, etc. I nearly went off the deep end. Fortunately, i was lucky enough to get BACK into education and I couldn’t be happier. My biggest regret is thinking I could/should get back into law. Life is too short, man. Get out. Run far and run fast. Find something that allows you enjoy your life, your kids, your family. Give more time to God and less to the almighty dollar. I know it is tough – I was there. One income (pretty big one too) stay-at-home wife and kids, 2 new car payments and house payments. Now I drive a 14 year old farm truck, raise a lot of our own food and have summers off. Life is Good. God Bless!!

It’s posts like this that give me some hope that there may in fact be a way out somehow.

 

[Boy_Wonder]

Any other unhappy Catholic lawyers out there?

I’m a lawyer and a Roman Catholic. I’m also not thrilled with my career choice but am too old to do anything about it.

 

[LionsDen66]

I never said it would be easy. But you (and everyone) have transferable skills. It takes a qualified person to help you dig those out and figure out what to do with them as you pursue a change. A well-trained counselor or career development professional does not tell you what to do. They help YOU figure out what is best for you.

Generally career transitions (which this would be) are not easy. It takes a lot of work to figure out how to present yourself, and time and determination on your part to position yourself so that you get interviews, and then persuade the employer that you are willing to make the change. If you go in with only your trial and lawyer experience showing in a chronological resume, you will not get the interview. But if you play your your strengths such as analysis, public speaking, research, etc., you may be able to get your foot in the door. Only you can decide if it is worth what it would take and if you are fed up enough to make a change.

My father was an attorney and I have several attorney relatives so I am familiar with the challenges, on top of my training in career development. But if you are unhappy you are the only one who can change it; no one else can do it. You would need to decide to let other people’s comments roll off you and do what you know is best for you regardless of lower income, the challenge of the change, etc. Of course that is not easy. The way you have presented it here you absolutely hate your job. Unless you can figure out how to stop hating it and make it a way to serve God, then in ten years you might be feeling the same and questioning why you are still there. Or you may learn to make peace with it and do what you can even to help others even in an adversarial field.

Also, maybe I missed this in this long string somehow, but have you considered asking God how he wants to use you?

Thanks for your additional thoughts. I can tell that you’re talented. I’ve been seeking God’s guidance in my career path for many years. But seeking and ‘finding’ are not always in harmony. And it is always a challenge to discern God’s voice from my own or from that of the enemy. Why doesn’t God write on more walls for us? It’s rhetorical, of course. I have felt a calling to start a faith-based law practice focused on juvenile delinquency, but fear keeps me from moving forward with the idea. Plus I get the “how are you going to make money” question immediately. If I were single and could live on PB and Js, I would have less fear. But with a wife and young child, I don’t feel I have the authority (or perhaps freedom) to explore that calling. So, I sit on the fence.

 

[LionsDen66]

To the unhappy catholic lawyers, I just want to bring up a subject no one has mentioned yet–the lawyer Saint Thomas More, an extremely holy and brave lawyer in his day. I do not mean to make light of the difficulties of your life. I have a lot of experience with the law due to family troubles growing up and I know how soul-trying that career can be. But I’m just bringing up Thomas More as a person to pray to and maybe as a help to get less discouraged by the situation, even as you all pray for the right path.

Thank you for that wisdom. I just watched “A Man for All Seasons” a couple of weeks ago.

 

[LionsDen66]

“I hate my job as a lawyer, and I hate being a litigator. I wish I could go back and wipe out the fact that I am a lawyer, and wipe out the past quarter century of being a lawyer. I know I’ve helped some people, but my gosh this is a horrible situation.”

My husband, an ex-attorney-turned-teacher, wants me to pass on this message:

It’s like you have written exactly my story. I did well in law school and got a great job. I soon opened my own firm and was bringing in pretty good money. I was getting old, fat and mean! I finally either gave up and/or got the courage to jump ship. After practicing law for 7 years, in 2001 I went into education and loved it. I was much less stressed, loved the kids I was working with (high school) and was much healthier. I ran into an old lawyer friend of mine and he joked that I was aging backward – looked younger than I did 7 years prior. A perfect storm of events caused me to go back into law in 2008, and by 2010 I was back to the same bad attitude, anger, poor health, etc. I nearly went off the deep end. Fortunately, i was lucky enough to get BACK into education and I couldn’t be happier. My biggest regret is thinking I could/should get back into law. Life is too short, man. Get out. Run far and run fast. Find something that allows you enjoy your life, your kids, your family. Give more time to God and less to the almighty dollar. I know it is tough – I was there. One income (pretty big one too) stay-at-home wife and kids, 2 new car payments and house payments. Now I drive a 14 year old farm truck, raise a lot of our own food and have summers off. Life is Good. God Bless!!

I’m happy for you and your husband. I have done some adjunct teaching myself and love to teach. I’m not sure going back to school and teaching high school is a realistic option for me and my family, but I do find encouragement in your story. Lately, I’ve been exploring franchising options – especially in the senior care field. Perhaps starting my own business (or buying a franchise) would be more realistic. Thanks again for your story! God Bless you and your family.

 

[KimberlyCat]

I used to date a lawyer. He mostly did criminal defense cases/trials. He was brilliant. He won most of his cases getting murders, rapists, etc. off. He ended up teaching criminal justice at a university because he couldn’t stand practicing law anymore. Then he killed himself. It’s a very emotionally and very difficult profession. My prayers are with all lawyers everyday. Please remember how many people you help everyday. Millions of people depend on lawyers. “When it comes to law words have meaning.” God Bless.

 

[mommyof4]

I used to date a lawyer. He mostly did criminal defense cases/trials. He was brilliant. He won most of his cases getting murders, rapists, etc. off. He ended up teaching criminal justice at a university because he couldn’t stand practicing law anymore. Then he killed himself. It’s a very emotionally and very difficult profession. My prayers are with all lawyers everyday. Please remember how many people you help everyday. Millions of people depend on lawyers. “When it comes to law words have meaning.” God Bless.

How sad! Unfortunately, I don’t know too may happy lawyers.

 

[Yeoman]

Thank you for that wisdom. I just watched “A Man for All Seasons” a couple of weeks ago.

A great film.

I wonder if those of us in this boat ought not to look towards St. Alphonsus Maria de’ Liguori, who felt it seems somewhat the same way, and left the practice.

 

[mommyof4]

A great film.

I wonder if those of us in this boat ought not to look towards St. Alphonsus Maria de’ Liguori, who felt it seems somewhat the same way, and left the practice.

I know my husband would give a resounding “yes.”

 

[Yeoman]

I’m a lawyer and a Roman Catholic. I’m also not thrilled with my career choice but am too old to do anything about it.

How old is too old?

I ask that seriously. I think you’re likely slightly, but only slightly, older than I am, guessing that you’re in your mid 50s. Is that too old? I look around and see lawyers practicing in their 80s, which I sure don’t want to do, but if I think of that occurring to me I’d have to practice an additional period of time longer than that which I’ve already practiced, which seems like a pretty darned long time.

One of the problems I’ve had is that I’ve often perceived of myself as being in a situation in which I couldn’t quit. When I first had a chance I’d just been engaged and rationalized that I couldn’t as the prospect that appeared was only a temporary, and low paying one. That was a mistake. The whole time my children were small I felt, perhaps correctly, I had no options. Once I hit my 40s it seemed like I was too old, but now that I’m in my 50s it seems like that was erroneous. Now it’s tempting to think “I only need hang on for another 15 or so years”, but that’s a long time and might not be right.

And if we don’t ever leave it, is that a defeat?

 

[Yeoman]

I know my husband would give a resounding “yes.”

Again, I appreciate that response.