Unhealthy attachment to CA forum?

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Hello, my name is gardenswithkids, and I am a CA forum addict. I enjoy this forum very much and spend a lot of time here. My husband believes this is an unhealthy attachment that takes me away from our family and asked me to cut back. I did give it up for Lent because I recognized (before he even said anything) that I replaced time I used to spend in prayer and reading of spiritual books with this forum.

I am a stay at home mom. I miss conversing with grown ups during the day, and this place to fills that void. I absolutely love discussing religion. I have friends that I see in Bible study and a woman group in my church once or twice a week. I began here after a group that I met with for several years broke up under unpleasant circumstances; this forum helped take my mind off that loss. (I’ve since then found another Bible study that a close friend from my old group also attends.) Outside of that, phone calls and conversations with friends are rare because of family obligations.

Most evenings my husband and I used to spend together watching tv or the children’s sports. (As the summer sports get underway, that will return.) I grew tired of tv, and he’s interested in programs that bore me out of my mind. So I began coming to this forum during the time my husband and I used to spend together. That bothers him the most.

Anyway, I’m posting this in the Family Life area, because I suspect I’m not the only one with a young family who faces this. I want to restrict my time here, and I’m looking for suggestions of what has worked for other people. And I also want some accountability from other forum users. When I posted before Lent that I was giving up posting, that helped me stay away when I was tempted.

Thank you to my fellow forum users and addicts for reading my story.
 
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gardenswithkids:
Hello, my name is gardenswithkids, and I am a CA forum addict. I enjoy this forum very much and spend a lot of time here. My husband believes this is an unhealthy attachment that takes me away from our family and asked me to cut back. I did give it up for Lent because I recognized (before he even said anything) that I replaced time I used to spend in prayer and reading of spiritual books with this forum.

I am a stay at home mom. I miss conversing with grown ups during the day, and this place to fills that void. I absolutely love discussing religion. I have friends that I see in Bible study and a woman group in my church once or twice a week. I began here after a group that I met with for several years broke up under unpleasant circumstances; this forum helped take my mind off that loss. (I’ve since then found another Bible study that a close friend from my old group also attends.) Outside of that, phone calls and conversations with friends are rare because of family obligations.

Most evenings my husband and I used to spend together watching tv or the children’s sports. (As the summer sports get underway, that will return.) I grew tired of tv, and he’s interested in programs that bore me out of my mind. So I began coming to this forum during the time my husband and I used to spend together. That bothers him the most.

Anyway, I’m posting this in the Family Life area, because I suspect I’m not the only one with a young family who faces this. I want to restrict my time here, and I’m looking for suggestions of what has worked for other people. And I also want some accountability from other forum users. When I posted before Lent that I was giving up posting, that helped me stay away when I was tempted.

Thank you to my fellow forum users and addicts for reading my story.
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I suggest that you talk to your dear husband about the whole family giving up TV. My DH and I grew up in households with televisions, and we do not miss the TV!! It’s one less bill every month and we have plenty of time to talk to each other. I think that once our preborn baby is born, I’ll have all the time in the world to mother Baby. I realize that this sounds like a huge change and you probably think that it can’t be done…but I’ve read stories of people who stopped TV in their houses and after a while, they realized that they’re better off without it! Also, in my parents’ home, I’ve noticed that Dad tends to watch TV and play computer games instead of spending good quality time with Mom and my younger brothers. When the brothers do watch TV with Dad, they watch vulgar junk. My husband and I have plenty of time to read (we both read Catholic Answers Forums and I read lots of books, too). God bless you!
 
I hear ya, gardens. I don’t post too often ( i think :o ) but i’m on here every day at least once for an hour or so 'cause my husband gets bored when I discuss religion with him and I get bored watching football and CSI. So usually i’m on here and he’s watching tv…he isn’t frustrated with me or anything but sometimes i think that if i had never found this forum my house would be alot cleaner 🙂 but then again it has helped me in soooo many ways. Mostly knowing that there is other Catholics out there like me. Anyways, just sayin good luck and God Bless.
 
When I decided to take a break from the forums awhile back I had my husband firewall it (I have no idea how to remove that once it’s on) because I knew I’d come back to sneak peeks & I didn’t want to. At first I missed the forums but then I got over it and was amazed at how much more time I had since I wasn’t always at the computer. About 2 months ago I told him I wanted the firewall removed but I’m wondering if I might walk away once again. I love coming to this site but I often wonder how it is that I don’t have enough time in my day to say my rosary but I have time to post??
 
carol marie:
When I decided to take a break from the forums awhile back I had my husband firewall it (I have no idea how to remove that once it’s on) because I knew I’d come back to sneak peeks & I didn’t want to. At first I missed the forums but then I got over it and was amazed at how much more time I had since I wasn’t always at the computer. About 2 months ago I told him I wanted the firewall removed but I’m wondering if I might walk away once again. I love coming to this site but I often wonder how it is that I don’t have enough time in my day to say my rosary but I have time to post??
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:hmmm: 😃 If my Hubby did that I would have to cut his cable wire to the TV-------No basketball, baseball or any other silly sport he watches!!!:crying: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
 
carol marie:
When I decided to take a break from the forums awhile back I had my husband firewall it (I have no idea how to remove that once it’s on) because I knew I’d come back to sneak peeks & I didn’t want to. At first I missed the forums but then I got over it and was amazed at how much more time I had since I wasn’t always at the computer. About 2 months ago I told him I wanted the firewall removed but I’m wondering if I might walk away once again. I love coming to this site but I often wonder how it is that I don’t have enough time in my day to say my rosary but I have time to post??
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That’s an interesting question (about having enough time to post and not enough to pray the rosary). I struggle with that and I really don’t do much - I’m not employed, my child isn’t born yet, etc. I usually pray the rosary as I’m falling asleep, unless I pray it during the day or with my husband.

Celia, your post about your husband just reinforces what I said earlier about no TV. Give it a try! Maybe your husband will follow your example.
 
Well, seeing as how I’m supposed to give up the forums this week (I made a deal with hubby) and here I am…I guess I have a problem. I have learned so much here and I get so involved with some of the threads that I have a lot of interest in. I’ve been trying to limit my time here by not signing in. That way I can’t post anything. Or, I’ll limit it by just checking threads I’ve posted in, not opening up any new ones.

Again, I guess I’m not much help since I’m not really supposed to be on right now 😦 I just enjoy getting to know other Catholics by reading their posts and conversing with them through the threads. Maybe limiting it to one time per day sit down time with the forums would be helpful???

Maybe starting a CA Forums anonymous support group----no that would make us sign on more often—it’s hopeless!!!🙂

God Bless
Giannawannabe
 
a whole lot of us spend too much time here… i include myself in that number…

this can be a very unfriendly and unhappy place for some… it is a soapbox for some, it is an opportunity for some to be extremely unkind to others due to the anonimity of the beast…

some can handle it, (i wonder) and some garner hostility and anguish over others who don’t believe or think as they think all should think and feel…

then there are some with a little bit of the voy’er in themselves, and enjoy just watching the discussions (some call battles) and like to kibbitz from the side not really wanting to engage in the discussion (fight), so they just pick at latest target of the pack…

Some truly enjoy the comaraderie and brotherhood if you will of like minds.

this is truly not a forum for the gentle heart… gird up you loins, put on your strongest armor, and join in if you will…

but don’t be lulled by the smiley faces… there lurks a steele trap for the unspecting poster looking for support from others that have agenda’s other than the spread of catholicism…

bottom line? Come on in, who knows, you might learn something!:bigyikes:
 
I knew I couldn’t be the only person with this problem! Thank you all for your honest posts! Merely posting this thread helped me stay off of this site last night.

I already mentioned to my husband already about cancelling our cable tv along with our internet (same company does both.) That suggestion didn’t fly. I would love for our whole family to get rid of the tv. That problem led to my this problem, but I can’t fix that one on my own.

I do enjoy the comaraderie and spirit of family that I often find here. (But, as lone ranger warned, some may have other agendas, so I am careful with internet strangers.) I will continue here, but I will limit my time. I haven’t yet determined how much to limit it, but I know that most of the evening time has to go. Well, it’s already after the time I told myself I’d stop, so I’ll post this without staring at all the previews I usually do and sign off.

Thank you again! Lets pray for each other–perhaps even say an entire rosary!
 
I’ve come to the CA webpage for years but only just started coming to the forums. I used to go to one about youth Competitive soccer in San Diego(my kids are very involved in soccer). People there are so mean! I’m so glad I found you people. I really enjoy being here but limit myself to the amount of time it takes for the dryer to dry one load, per day. It helps me to get things done.
 
Since posting this earlier this week, I’ve worked on limiting my time here. I’ve kept my posting down to three per day which creates fewer threads that I feel compelled to follow. I choose more carefully before spouting off my opinions. I edit and preview my posts less. (In addition to saving time, I’m learning humility from seeing all the spelling and grammar mistakes I routinely make.) I also placed a 20 minute time limit a maximum of 3 times a day on my computer use; that’s about as much time I can go before my parenting suffers.

I cut out the evening computer time completely. My dear hubbie and I re-discussed his tv viewing, and he’s also worked on cutting that down and choosing things we both enjoy. We’re playing games as a family before children’s bedtime and talking more as a couple in the evenings and quietly reading books sometimes too.

I’m still thinking about this forum when I’m not here, but I’m less distracted from my family duties. I believe this forum is a great thing, but I was using it as an escape from my real life. Thank you all for your suggestions. Now I think I need to pull our sheets out of the dryer.
 
I only just found this website and I am already spending to much time on-line! My husband and I decided last night not purchase internet service after we move and I think that might be a good idea.
 
Include me in this thread! I have two wee ones and I check the forums whenever they are content and I have all my “Flylady” chores done. My hubby also thinks I’m addicted, but does it teasingly. I have learned so much here and it has made me increase my prayers, devotions, etc. I just make a point not to let it take away from me being a good mommy and not pay attention to my children. If only people would just stop posting such interesting threads…😃
 
I try to limit myself. After seeing the *petros/petras * argument for the 4,000th time, you start to think the time could be better spent.

Scott
 
Well, my parents really like it when I watch TV with them, but I have really lost interest in the shows (it’s the same thing over and over again). But, I have struck a lovely compromise: I have an old laptop that really wasn’t being used for anything. It’s kinda slow, but does fine on the internet. So, I got a wireless router and card from a friend (though they can be had at any electronics store for under $50 in total), installed them, and now I sit on the couch with them while they watch TV. I pay some attention to the show, but also post here and on TurboBricks (the Volvo forum of which I am a member), browse EBay, check e-mail, etc. That way, I can spend TV time with my parents but still do something other than just TV. If you could swing it (and laptops are fairly cheap on EBay if you have a little money to spend on one), then you can do both.

Eamon
 
Turbo…it seems like a sad compromise for you to have to make–you’re all physically present in the same room but totally disconnected from each other and plugged into TV, the net, whatever. How about suggesting to your parents a night where you all unplug from media and spend the time in conversation or activity with each other?!
 
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coralewisjr:
That’s an interesting question (about having enough time to post and not enough to pray the rosary). I struggle with that and I really don’t do much - I’m not employed, my child isn’t born yet, etc. I usually pray the rosary as I’m falling asleep, unless I pray it during the day or with my husband.

Celia, your post about your husband just reinforces what I said earlier about no TV. Give it a try! Maybe your husband will follow your example.
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Sorry, I don’t mean to be dis respectful but whats with you and TV?
Did you have a problem with watching too much tv?

I use to read all the time and used too much time doing that…according to my husband and parents…so its anything that you do compulsively .
I watch tv but not all the time…I watch good programs, etc…and yes I still read and pray…etc.

No hard feelings I hope…you have the right to do what you see fit…
for your home…especially if it helps you. 🙂
 
A suggestion from my household. My wife and I every week or so have a date night in which we pick out a movie and, after the baby is in bed, have dinner in front of the TV. It isn’t fancy, but since it is something we have to plan on doing, it is still quality. We compromise on the movie. One person picks out several acceptable titles and the other picks which one would be best. Therefore, there are no gore, horror or overly violent films and no chick flicks (although I will occasionally give in on this).

I look forward to having time to unwind and relax. It is important to have that time with me wife.
 
An unhealthy attachment…maybe… :whistle: I’m a stay-at -home homemaker/grandmother whose husband loves his computer games as much as I love CA Forums. He sits at his and I’m nearby on my laptop.

We both rise early (5am) so I spend my really productive prayer time then. Next I get the important housework done.
Since I put myself in His presence upon rising, and offer my entire day to Him—my Work, I feel that my time here is worth something especially because it’s expressing my Catholic Faith…interacting with others who share that same Faith.
My spiritual reading has suffered somewhat but I have to say, I have learned more here in almost a year than I have learned from all those almost read books…:o
During Lent I was even able to get in an interactive on-line Seminar on the Paschal Mystery. When we had the Great Crash of the Forum I adjusted……:banghead:

Key here is, I think this is where God wants me to be right now in my life….👍
 
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