Unintended sexual feelings

[Kathrin]

I had to fix something and the position I was in made me feel something.
Did I commit a mortal sin because I finished that little job (just a few seconds) anyway? I didn’t do it in order to feel something, I wanted to not feel it.

Kathrin

 

[TLM08]

I had to fix something and the position I was in made me feel something.
Did I commit a mortal sin because I finished that little job (just a few seconds) anyway? I didn’t do it in order to feel something, I wanted to not feel it.

Kathrin

We are all sinners but It saddens me that so many good people are hyper focused on the fear of even a shread of accidental sexual feelings or pleasure. This hyper focus is driven by bondage to the power of sin. The fact that you “finished that little job” simply means that you gave in to the body’s natural desire for sexual fulfilment. This desire is best and more fully expressed in marriage but not everyone is married. Some people will never marry yet this human desire for sexual fulfilment remains. Your act may have been sinful, but so was my act of screening calls yesterday to avoid people who have a tendency to talk to long. This is not to trivializing the issue. My point is that we are all sinners and ALL sin is deadly!

Since we are all hopelessly lost sinners. Jesus died on the cross to pay the full price for ALL of our sins, past, present and future. We are adopted as his children the minute we confess our sinfulness, repent and accept him as Lord and Savior. He will never abandon us. We may still sin on occasion, but that’s not who we are! We choose to obey him out of the purest form of love, not fear of condemnation. This is where obedience becomes easier since we are now free from the bondage of sin. This might not be the catholic view, but it is the biblical view!

The apostle Paul struggled with sin just like the rest of us. Take comfort in Christ’s love and realize that you are just like the rest of us.

God Bless you Dearheart

"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it." (Romans 7:15-20)

 

[KingTheoden]

You can ask your priest of course, but I agree with TLM08 and I wager that your priest would too in as much as accidental situations are just not your fault.

When men choose to live correctly, we have some issues that come about as a result. Basically, involuntary bodily actions are like dreams: we are not morally culpable. (Dreams might well indicate what we are filling our minds with during the day, but still cannot be considered sins because we lack free will in our dreams).

I also agree that this a struggle we go through when we try to root out sin; evil tries to yoke every action of ours to a potentially disorderly outcome. Through grace, we begin to fail overtly less and less. And this in turn makes us think ‘did I sin just now?’ less and less.

I’m not sure about the nuance of TLM08’s comment that we are free from the bondage of sin outright by Christ’s sacrifice. We are if we choose to be, that is, to receive grace through the sacraments, doing acts of charity, and avoiding harmful situations (not the one you alluded to, Kathrin, but direct occassions to sin).

 

[baltobetsy]

The fact that you “finished that little job” simply means that you gave in to the body’s natural desire for sexual fulfilment.

I’m 100% certain that you mean something different from what Kathrin means. When she says she “finished that little job,” she means that she completed the task that caused the unexpected sexual feelings, NOT that she committed an impure act to bring those sexual feelings to a conclusion.

Kathrin, no worries about this, OK? As long as the feelings were an unintended consequence of your doing the task, you are not responsible for them, even though you had to finish what you were doing before the feelings began.

Betsy

 

[johngh]

.

Kathrin, no worries about this, OK? As long as the feelings were an unintended consequence of your doing the task, you are not responsible for them, even though you had to finish what you were doing before the feelings began.

Betsy

That is a lie. People are still responsible for their thoughts and desires even if they did not intend for them to happen. Sure it might lessen the responsibility, but it is very dangerous territory to start saying that as long as you didn’t “intend” to feel something that you are not responsible for feeling that. We will always be put in situations we do not intend that have the potential to cause us to sin, and we are still responsible for those feelings.

 

[baltobetsy]

That is a lie. People are still responsible for their thoughts and desires even if they did not intend for them to happen. Sure it might lessen the responsibility, but it is very dangerous territory to start saying that as long as you didn’t “intend” to feel something that you are not responsible for feeling that. We will always be put in situations we do not intend that have the potential to cause us to sin, and we are still responsible for those feelings.

I beg your pardon. It is unnecessary to be so rude. And you also have misunderstood the OP. She is not referring to thoughts and desires, but to a physical sensation that occurred as a result of doing some kind of work. She completed the task quickly without wishing to prolong the sensation. There is no sin in this.

Betsy

 

[TLM08]

I beg your pardon. It is unnecessary to be so rude. And you also have misunderstood the OP. She is not referring to thoughts and desires, but to a physical sensation that occurred as a result of doing some kind of work. She completed the task quickly without wishing to prolong the sensation. There is no sin in this.

Betsy

It is sad that she would even worry about that… a matter so trivial. It sounds to me like she is about at guilty as a “gum chewer”. How dare anyone feel the pleasure of the taste buds outside of the God intended purpose of nourishing the body through food.

 

[Seatuck]

It is sad that she would even worry about that… a matter so trivial. It sounds to me like she is about at guilty as a “gum chewer”. How dare anyone feel the pleasure of the taste buds outside of the God intended purpose of nourishing the body through food.

Some people suffer from scrupulosity. It is a form of OCD. It is an illness. Yes it is sad.

 

[TLM08]

Some people suffer from scrupulosity. It is a form of OCD. It is an illness. Yes it is sad.

I believe Roman Catholicism is a hotbed for scrupulosity. Jesus came to free us from this bondage to sin that causes continial worry, stress and fear regarding sin. Jesus did not free us temporarily until we commit our next sin. Paul didn’t say we are free until we commit our next sin. It is permanant. Our obedience is not done on our own strength at all. This obedience is the work of the Holy Spirit living within us and comes because of the incredible gratitude and pure love for Christ we now have as a result of what he did for us on that bloody cross.

Jesus paid the full penalty for all our sins past, present and future. Repentance from sin is a change heart toward sin which leads to a turning away. Relying on human effort to live in obedience always leads to failure and bondage toward sin.

“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in sinful man, in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit.” Romans 8:1-4

 

[NoWhereMan]

No sin, I get unintended sexual feeling all the time as I think most of us do. It`s part of being human

 

[Whitacre_Girl]

I believe Roman Catholicism is a hotbed for scrupulosity. Jesus came to free us from this bondage to sin that causes continial worry, stress and fear regarding sin.

Not only is this statement out of line, it is the opposite of the truth. As a former protestant, I was subjected to having to watch every single word, thought, action, and footstep. God HELP me if I watched a PG movie that had a kissing scene!!

I came to the RCC because they preach god’s GRACE more than any other church. It recognises ALL of us are sinners, and offers God’s GRACE to us through the sacraments. It talks about sins so much because it is the ONLY church I have found that doesn’t stick up its nose at sin and say “well, GOOD christians wouldn’t do this, so we aren’t gunna talk about it.” And it talks about sin, how to find God’s grace, and how to overcome sin!!! Instead of just chucking out its members that have fallen into temptation, it offers them a way to overcome it, and NEVER excludes someone!!!

It was the RCC that saved me when I was ready to walk away because being forced to live such a scrupulous life with NO HELP.

 

[HNA444]

No sin, I get unintended sexual feeling all the time as I think most of us do. It`s part of being human

That doesn’t mean it’s not a sin.

 

[TLM08]

Not only is this statement out of line, it is the opposite of the truth. As a former protestant, I was subjected to having to watch every single word, thought, action, and footstep. God HELP me if I watched a PG movie that had a kissing scene!!

I came to the RCC because they preach god’s GRACE more than any other church. It recognises ALL of us are sinners, and offers God’s GRACE to us through the sacraments. It talks about sins so much because it is the ONLY church I have found that doesn’t stick up its nose at sin and say “well, GOOD christians wouldn’t do this, so we aren’t gunna talk about it.” And it talks about sin, how to find God’s grace, and how to overcome sin!!! Instead of just chucking out its members that have fallen into temptation, it offers them a way to overcome it, and NEVER excludes someone!!!

It was the RCC that saved me when I was ready to walk away because being forced to live such a scrupulous life with NO HELP.

It sounds like you were in a really bad fellowship with poor leadership. That’s not the message of scripture. Christianity in America is in trouble. All one has to do is turn on the television on Sunday mornings to see that the Gospel of grace, redemption, attonement, resurection, and total forgiveness has been abandoned for a man centered false gospel of prosperity and self fulfillment. Wolves in sheep’s clothing like Joel Osteen and Kenneth Copeland immediately come to mind. I can see why you would be drawn to catholicism. In many ways, the catholic church with all of her errors and warts is sometimes the closest thing to biblical christianity you can find.

My suggestion is that you locate a solid bible believing church that actually preaches the Word of God. The “just” shall live by faith!

 

[NoWhereMan]

That doesn’t mean it’s not a sin.

We as Catholics cannot go through each day thinking that everything is a sin. There are certain things that happen throughout the day, accidentally, if they are sins, they have to be venial ones. Three things must be present for sin to be mortal, & it usually isn`t

 

[manualman]

I believe Roman Catholicism is a hotbed for scrupulosity. Jesus came to free us from this bondage to sin that causes continial worry, stress and fear regarding sin. Jesus did not free us temporarily until we commit our next sin. Paul didn’t say we are free until we commit our next sin. It is permanant. Our obedience is not done on our own strength at all. This obedience is the work of the Holy Spirit living within us and comes because of the incredible gratitude and pure love for Christ we now have as a result of what he did for us on that bloody cross.

Ah you’ve become the pied piper I see.

A thought for your prayer times. Known givens we (presumably) both agree on:

1. All humanity is fallen and thus inclined towards sin and its companions, confusion and error.
2. A true teaching generally has errors on BOTH sides of it. For example, Jesus is BOTH fully man and fully God. There have been heresies at various time periods that deny one of the other. True teaching must fully develop BOTH aspects of Jesus’ nature.

Given 1 an 2 above, what should one expect to see in a congregation of fallen human beings where the TRUE balance between freely given Grace and human free will and culpability is taught?

My assertion is that one would expect to see a 1.) good number of people with the appropriate understanding and 2.) a population of folks that have fallen for the ‘cheap grace’ error and 3.) a population of folks that have fallen into scrupulosity.

It’s my further contention that if your overall congregation ONLY consists of people from TWO of those groups, that the reason probably has to do with imbalance in the actual teaching going on.

It’s my further contention that Luther himself suffered from scrupulosity (from reading some of his work and life history) and that his over-reaction against it made his cure as bad as the disease.

In conclusion, you are correct to note that catholicism include some folks suffering from scrupulosity. But we also include a not inconsiderable number suffering the delusion of cheap grace. And of course we have rather our fair share of saints under construction.

To the OP, you did exactly the right thing. But instead of worrying about your response, take it to Jesus in prayer. He’ll see you through it. He won’t make your temptation go away, but he’ll give you the Grace to overcome them.

 

[John92]

That is a lie. People are still responsible for their thoughts and desires even if they did not intend for them to happen. Sure it might lessen the responsibility, but it is very dangerous territory to start saying that as long as you didn’t “intend” to feel something that you are not responsible for feeling that. We will always be put in situations we do not intend that have the potential to cause us to sin, and we are still responsible for those feelings.

This is exactly the error that people commit on this forum: making things harder than they are.

Sometimes a thought pops into your head. You don’t want it there, but it is. You don’t consciously think about it, but it’s there. Best thing to do is to distract yourself. But to say that you sin by being around an attractive woman (or man) and part of you says “I want to have sex with that woman”, and you don’t want that thought there and you don’t consciously pursue it, to say that does more harm than good.

Scrupulosity is a trial, and it’s both a good thing and a bad thing. It’s a good thing because it shows that you have a good, strong conscience; but it’s bad because it can lead you to think things are sins which aren’t sins and because you can become totally wrapped up in depression, obsessing over tiny sins you may or may not have committed, when what we should really be doing are good works! Or that’s been my experience anyway, and I’ve gone through it myself.

Edit: just to clarify, I’d expand and say that, while having a thought pop into your head is a temptation and not a sin, at the same time having a thought pop into your head often can be a symptom of a deeper, unknown sin. As in all things, talk to your priest!

And of course this doesn’t JUST go for sexual sins, but for prideful ones as well. I might be doing academic work with someone and a thought pops into my head like “this person doesn’t know what they’re doing omg I’m so much smarter than them”, and then I consciously think “no, stop being such a proud jerk, just because someone’s not doing well one day doesn’t mean they’re bad, and even if you are better at this so the heck what? No reason to feel proud about it, just help them out!” etc. etc.

 

[danj6354]

we are human beings. god made us this way- you cant help if you accidentally have these feelings. Come on just relax!

 

[pzona]

If it were a sin to let your heart beat above a certain rate, would we still be responsible for this? Sexual feelings are a part of every human’s life, whether they admit it or not. Personally, I see nothing wrong with having sexual thoughts, much less ones that were not intended.

 

[Celtic_FC]

I’m confused on what the OP was getting at, therefore I am resigned to