Uninvited to serve at Vigil

[BrownEyes123]

I’m a little annoyed, should I just let this go or say something? I was sent an email a week ago (it was specific, my son’s name included) asking what Holy Week Masses my son could serve. It included the statement, Easter Vigil he is invited to serve. So we said yes to that, and told him what else he was available for. Got a reply back asking him to serve Thursday and he would get back to us on the Vigil (I assumed with a time). So didn’t hear back, sent a email, no reply, saw the guy and asked. Apparently an older server said yes, so my son was no longer invited. We thought this was rude, and wonder why anyone would even send an invite in the first place

 

[Xantippe]

I’m a little annoyed, should I just let this go or say something? I was sent an email a week ago (it was specific, my son’s name included) asking what Holy Week Masses my son could serve. It included the statement, Easter Vigil he is invited to serve. So we said yes to that, and told him what else he was available for. Got a reply back asking him to serve Thursday and he would get back to us on the Vigil (I assumed with a time). So didn’t hear back, sent a email, no reply, saw the guy and asked. Apparently an older server said yes, so my son was no longer invited. We thought this was rude, and wonder why anyone would even send an invite in the first place

I think you should let the disinvite go (they probably thought they were letting you off). However, I think you do deserve at least a brief, timely notification email next time, and I think it’s fair to ask for that.

Example:

Dear Mr. So-and-So:

Bobby was getting excited about serving at the Easter Vigil and our family cleared our schedule in order to make it possible for him to do so. Then we found out (completely accidentally) that he wasn’t going to be needed for the Vigil.

In future, could you please notify us as soon as possible if Bobby is taken off the schedule? Otherwise, it is very difficult to make family plans and it also leads to disappointment.

Thanks so much for your understanding!

Bobby’s Mom/Bobby’s Dad

 

[1ke]

I’m a little annoyed, should I just let this go or say something?

It wasn’t a “disinvite” it was a mass email asking “who can serve Holy Week and what days”. We sent out the same sort of email. We got responses back. We then made a schedule. That’s what happened here-- your son got scheduled for Holy Thursday and therefore didn’t get scheduled again for Holy Saturday. I’m sure for two reasons: one not to overburden any one family and two to give man people the opportunity to serve during Holy Week.

I think you are making something out of nothing. there is LOT going on during Holy Week and as a person coordinating all the stuff at church, I have a thousand things going on. I’m just trying to put servers on the list, not trying to offend or whatever. Trust me, it’s not personal.

 

[1ke]

I agree, the guy doing the scheduling could have been more clear. But there is a lot going on at this time, and it probably was simply an oversight. I haven’t been on email all week, I’ve been up at church every day. So, I can relate.

 

[BrownEyes123]

It wasn’t a mass email, it was specific to us. Not just anyone is invited to serve this Mass. But yes I know he was busy scheduling many things.

 

[Xantippe]

It wasn’t a mass email, it was specific to us. Not just anyone is invited to serve this Mass. But yes I know he was busy scheduling many things.

Maybe let it go, but send a civil email if it happens again?

They probably had so many balls up in the air that they didn’t get back to people they should have gotten back to.

 

[1ke]

Yeah, lots of balls in the air. In my parish we specifically asked people when they could help with holy week. And, servers were scheduled accordingly. But when I contacted parents to set up practice for the servers for their days-- mass swapping ensued because people realized they’d signed up for days when they would be out of town, at grandmas, at work, blah blah.

AAARRGGGHHH!!!

 

[Horton]

Exactly! Along with that, with the Easter Vigil being a bit more complicated than most, they want the older, more experienced servers serving.

Last night at the Good Friday service many of the less experienced servers would have been lost. However the coordinator knew to have two older experienced servers scheduled.

 

[pianistclare]

Agree.
It’s a task not many in ministry relish.
We ask for volunteers. PEople respond We schedule people based on need and first reply first noted.
Nothing personal.

 

[Allegra]

I agree that it was rude to not respond to you right away, but I don’t know what can be done about it. He probably just forgot to respond.

 

[QwertyGirl]

I think “serve” implies helping when and where needed, yes? I can see this may have been disappointing, but in the big scheme of things it shouldn’t be a big deal. Instead, make it an opportunity to remind yourself and your son w hat it means to truly serve. I am sure he was not slighted out of spite or on purpose.

 

[Reuben_J]

Not sure but it looked like he was allocated the Easter vigil. Then you asked what else, he was given Holy Thursday. Perhaps by that time, the Easter vigil slot was full, so he had only the Holy Thursday to serve.

There could be more communication but don’t take it personally. No reply means there is none.

God bless.

 

[TheLittleLady]

Spend the run up to Holy Week volunteering at your parish office, then vent. It is the superbowl + Christmas with eternal matters at stake. Give the coordinator a pass on this one.

 

[JamalChristophr]

I really think it would be best to go with synths in the future. Their reliability rate is 99.99999%. The days of organic molecule based acolytes needs to be put behind us.

 

[Norseman82]

Perhaps the scheduler was trying to get a raw number of availability to make sure there were enough, then when it was clear there were more than enough available (including for backups), the final decision was made.