Unique situation- priest that married us was having affairs

[allycat10]

My husband and I, both practicing Catholics since childhood, were married in August 2000 in the Catholic Church- wedding Mass. Having a wedding Mass was very important to us, a sacrament. We were just informed that the priest who married us, was having affairs with two women while at our parish around the time we got married. He recently left the priesthood and got married himself. We have a few questions… Since he was violating his vows during the time he married us, does this make our marriage invalid? We do feel cheated. We were thinking of renewing our vows at our 25th anniversary, not for another 13.5 years at least, should we consider doing it sooner? Thanks.

 

[Oneofthewomen]

Since it is the couple that confers the sacrament of marriage, and the priest only acts as a Christian witness, MHO, I would say you are all good!!

Peace be with you!!

 

[Corki]

The personal sanctity of the priest has no bearing on the validity of the Sacrament. Beside, in the Sacrament of Matrimony, you and your spouse are the ministers and confer the Sacrament on each other. The priest is the witness who receives the vows. Don’t worry - all priests are human.

 

[LilyM]

A diamond is a diamond whether the person who gives it to you is a jeweler or a thief. So the sacraments are the same whether or not the priest is a good person.

All priests are sinners, many sin mortally at one time or another. It would be simply impossible to know that you had ever received any sacrament validly if it depended on the state of the priest’s soul or his faithfulness. God is not the author of that sort of confusion.

Look up the heresy of Donatism - you have nothing to worry about.

 

[Rolltide]

A diamond is a diamond whether the person who gives it to you is a jeweler or a thief. So the sacraments are the same whether or not the priest is a good person.

All priests are sinners, many sin mortally at one time or another. It would be simply impossible to know that you had ever received any sacrament validly if it depended on the state of the priest’s soul or his faithfulness. God is not the author of that sort of confusion.

Look up the heresy of Donatism - you have nothing to worry about.

Exactly.

In fact, it’s a common misconception, and Donatism is one of the most common heresies. Many people don’t even realize it’s a heresy, and that it’s so old, it first arose around the 4th or 5th century. If this were true, you could have a situation where a priest in a state of mortal sin from having an affair or committing a crime could have invalidly baptized hundreds, or even thousands of individuals who would then have no idea that they weren’t even Catholic. Obviously, it doesn’t work that way.

 

[PazzoGrande]

My husband and I, both practicing Catholics since childhood, were married in August 2000 in the Catholic Church- wedding Mass. Having a wedding Mass was very important to us, a sacrament. We were just informed that the priest who married us, was having affairs with two women while at our parish around the time we got married. He recently left the priesthood and got married himself. We have a few questions… Since he was violating his vows during the time he married us, does this make our marriage invalid? We do feel cheated. We were thinking of renewing our vows at our 25th anniversary, not for another 13.5 years at least, should we consider doing it sooner? Thanks.

Priests are like Pez candies, and the priesthood of one is identical to the priesthood of another; the validity of one’s work doesn’t differ from another one’s. Good one, bad one – in terms of how binding his sacramental power is, it’s all the same.

The priest who baptised me also left Catholicism and became Episcopalian, marrying some woman. He was even a higher-ranking priest in my diocese. But a priest is a priest is a priest; whatever else he did in his life doesn’t change insofar as he’s been ordained.

Funnily enough, even though he was no longer a priest or even Catholic, if he consecrated the Eucharist, it would still be the real Eucharist. Church law forbids him from doing that except when someone is in mortal danger, but theoretically he could have no regard whatsoever for what Church law is and he could still make a valid Eucharist.

I’m sorry to hear about the shock you had to go through. I wasn’t that comfortable learning that the priest who baptised me went through similar things (I don’t know if he had an affair with the woman, but the rest of the story matches what happened) but I know that it really didn’t change anything. Sure it would have been nice to have been baptised or married by a priest who was canonised, but aren’t as common as they should be.

Besides, really, the priest always acts in persona Christi. Christ officiated your wedding. So perhaps I should have said, a priest is a priest is a priest is Christ. The priest’s job is to help you become holy; how holy he isn’t shouldn’t directly affect us.