Unitarian Universalist Child Dedication?

[michaelyn25]

What is involved in a Unitarian Universalist child dedication ceremony? I ask because my husband and I, both practicing Catholics, were asked to be sponsors at our niece’s UU dedication. Without getting into all the details (one can see the “What is wrong with UU?” thread for those), I know that I am not comfortable standing as a sponsor in the ceremony. But, as I like to be fully educated when making such significant decisions, I would love some more explanation about what such a ceremony entails and what a sponsor is being asked. (My UU brother-in-law and his wife don’t even know - we asked them for details and they had no idea). Thank you for any information you can provide!

 

[Roy5]

The UU Church, though small in membership, permits considerable diversity. Some local churches may develop their own rituals, as they are strictly congregational in organization. There is no hierarchy. The UUs are extremely tolerant of most religions, though they would strongly object to faiths that are very dogmatic and preach that unless you belong to their group you are outside of the ‘one true church’. Because of that, I’m a bit surprised that you would be asked to be sponsors.

 Here's what I would suggest. Contact the minister of the church and ask him outright what you will be expected to pledge. My guess is that it will be vague. You will not, as in many denominations, be asked to declare your faith in Christ or any other standard Christian doctrine. You might be asked to surround this child with love, seek to be a good example, etc. 

 The Unitarians are a rather select group - intellectuals, many of them. One of my good Unitarian friends died last month. A wonderful, brilliant person, but an agnostic. Few friends, however, could engage in exciting conversation about religion with more zest than she could, and I shall miss those dialogues. I believe most Unitarians were raised something else, many of them ex-Catholics.

  As you probably know, Unitarianism in this country arose mainly out of New England Congregationalism as a reaction against traditional Christian thought. Unitarian as opposed to Trinitarian. They vary all the way from Christians who put a special emphasis upon Jesus to atheists who reject God entirely. The original group (Channing, Theodore Parker, etc) were basically liberal Protestants, embracing a form of broad-based Christianity widespread today within mainline Protestantism.

 

[1ke]

What is involved in a Unitarian Universalist child dedication ceremony? I ask because my husband and I, both practicing Catholics, were asked to be sponsors at our niece’s UU dedication.

As a Catholic, you cannot “sponsor” someone in a UU dedication. Just as a non-Catholic cannot be a sponsor of a Catholic child at baptism.

Without getting into all the details (one can see the “What is wrong with UU?” thread for those), I know that I am not comfortable standing as a sponsor in the ceremony. But, as I like to be fully educated when making such significant decisions,

The Church does not allow Catholics to participate in such a manner.

 

[SonCatcher]

It is not appropriate for a Catholic to participate actively in a non-Catholic ceremony (though it is certainly appropriate to attend in most cases).

 

[michaelyn25]

Roy5, thank you for your detailed response. I agree that in most cases, I’d be surprised to have been asked…but, knowing that my BIL rather enjoys doing exactly what others would discourage/frown upon/not support, I’m not surprised here.

Thank you, all. I should have clarified that I understand that as a Catholic I cannot actively participate in a non-Catholic ceremony, especially in this case. I already know that I will not be a sponsor; however, my husband is a different story. He is man who needs reasoning and logic beyond my explanation of “as a Catholic, you can’t.” I have given him many explanations, pulling from the New Testament and from the Catechism, as to that. However, he still challenges me as to what occurs at a UU dedication ceremony that the Catholic Church has a problem with. Since I can’t seem to get a specific answer (it seems the way with UU), I rely on the problems with the very few core tenets of UU, in general (i.e. that by its very name, it denies the Holy Trinity). I explained to my husband that by sponsoring his niece, he is standing in support of basic principles that contradict our faith and his own personal beliefs.I think he’s reaching an understanding of why he “can’t”, but I know he still struggles and is concerned with how to explain all this to his family, who will certainly be upset with us both. I am used to defending the attack of being an “elitist Catholic”, but this is all new to my recently converted husband.

Indeed, in my research of UU, I’ve discovered that the dedications can vary immensely; still, if anyone has attended one or if there seems to be any common element, that might help me provide my husband more explanation, I’m interested in hearing about it.

As a priest in my parish says, “If you think living your faith is easy, you’re not living it right.”

 

[Corki]

It’s not what goes on at the ceremony that is a problem. It’s what being a sponsor stands for - for you and for the Unitarians. For a Catholic, being a sponsor or Godparent means you will do your best to provide good Catholic faith formation for the child. I don’t think the Unitarians would be ok with that.

 

[michaelyn25]

Just as a non-Catholic cannot be a sponsor of a Catholic child at baptism.

Though, a non-Catholic (a practicing Christian) can be a Christian witness at a Catholic baptism, as long as the other is a Catholic Godparent.

 

[Corki]

Though, a non-Catholic (a practicing Christian) can be a Christian witness at a Catholic baptism, as long as the other is a Catholic Godparent.

Yes, but they are simply a witness. A non-Catholic has no official role in the Baptism.

 

[michaelyn25]

It’s not what goes on at the ceremony that is a problem. It’s what being a sponsor stands for - for you and for the Unitarians.

I have to say I’m glad I posed this question. I already knew where I (and the Church) stand and was hoping to get further answers about the ceremony to help my husband to understand. But I, apparently, needed to realize something here, too. I have been solely concerned with how this is a problem for us, as Catholics, but have not considered how this is a problem for the UU’s, too. Maybe it’s time to exit my egocentric bubble…

And I appreciate the further reinforcement that it’s not about what goes on at the ceremony. I keep trying to answer my husband’s (and his family’s) questions, but maybe in concentrating on the ceremony itself, he is successfully steering me away from focusing on the heart of the matter.

 

[michaelyn25]

Yes, but they are simply a witness. A non-Catholic has no official role in the Baptism.

Indeed. I was just trying to clarify what the previous post had said, that a non-Catholic can’t be a sponsor at a Catholic baptism…I guess I see witness and sponsor in a similar light, neither of which is a Godparent.

 

[1ke]

Indeed. I was just trying to clarify what the previous post had said, that a non-Catholic can’t be a sponsor at a Catholic baptism…I guess I see witness and sponsor in a similar light, neither of which is a Godparent.

Sponsor and godparent are the same thing.

 

[1ke]

I have to say I’m glad I posed this question. I already knew where I (and the Church) stand and was hoping to get further answers about the ceremony to help my husband to understand. But I, apparently, needed to realize something here, too. I have been solely concerned with how this is a problem for us, as Catholics, but have not considered how this is a problem for the UU’s, too. Maybe it’s time to exit my egocentric bubble…

And I appreciate the further reinforcement that it’s not about what goes on at the ceremony. I keep trying to answer my husband’s (and his family’s) questions, but maybe in concentrating on the ceremony itself, he is successfully steering me away from focusing on the heart of the matter.

You aren’t going to find anything definitive on baby dedication when it comes to UU, because it will be whatever they want it to be. You can mention God, or not. You can mention Jesus, or not. You can make up your own prayer, or not.

And UU would not care what religious affiliation the godparent/sponsor is a part of.

 

[Roy5]

My own view, for what it’s worth, is that the more people of different faiths come together out of mutual respect, the better. While we don’t agree with the Unitarians, they are not a creedal church, so their beliefs are individual and personal. Actually, I admire them - those that I know. They were among the most ardent abolitionists, the most ardent suffragists, outspoken for civil rights, etc. At least two of the whites killed during that struggle (as I recall) were Unitarians, a Rev. Reeb and a woman whose name slips my mind at the moment.

They may regard the Dedication as primarily a celebration of the birth of the baby, without much other theological meaning. Probably the parents will promise to bring up the child well, by teaching and example. Some Unitarians are quite spiritual, and may entertain other views, bringing in the mystery and beauty of nature, the sacredness of family life, etc. Hard to tell since there is no catechism, no creeds, no carefully defined and must-be-accepted doctrines. 

 We all can learn from one another, and lack of mutual respect for other faiths has led to bigotry and worse, yes,  in the name of Christ. Miserabile dictu!

 

[michaelyn25]

Thanks again, Roy5, for your respectful, thorough and thought-provoking response. Much appreciated!