Unplanned pregnancy

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taye

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One of my past pregnancies was “sort of” unplanned, meaning that we had started to think about having another child, but I got pregnant before we finalized our decision (while using NFP to postpone). How does one answer the dreaded question: “Was this a planned pregnancy?” I find this questions extremely rude and unnecessary (especially in the case of pregnancy resulting from rape).
 
taye said:
One of my past pregnancies was “sort of” unplanned, meaning that we had started to think about having another child, but I got pregnant before we finalized our decision (while using NFP to postpone). How does one answer the dreaded question: “Was this a planned pregnancy?” I find this questions extremely rude and unnecessary (especially in the case of pregnancy resulting from rape).
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Well, there is the “Dear Abby” answer: “Why do you want to know?” That should shock the questioner enough to quiet him. Then there is the Christian answer: “Of course! God plans every pregnancy.”
Anyone who would ask such an intrusive question really does not deserve a personal answer. You are under no obligation to go into detail about your sex life, your marriage, or any other personal and private area of your life.
 
Perhaps you should reply, “You’ll have to ask God, He’s in control after all. And it is He who gives us these blessings.”

Ok, maybe not that. 😛

I know what you mean though. Our 2 children are 19 months apart. We get that question sometimes as well. It makes me uncomfortable, and I think it’s rather inconsiderate myself. The worst being, “Was he an accident?”:rolleyes:

I don’t have a good answer without sounding sarcastic.
 
Here’s what my aunt said she used to say, and I think it’s funny, “Yes, it was planned. I found out I was pregnant and I planned on having a baby”.
 
Something else you might say, "The usual reply when someone announces she’s pregnant is, ‘Congratulations!’ "

And, by the way, Congratulations!
 
If you have friends who are that rude, find new friends!

It is not one teeny bit of anyone’s business.
 
Oh, I was actually talking about one of my previous pregnancies. That being said, I may be pregnant… I’m having the same weird cycle irregularities I had when I had when my little “surprise” happened (high temps for 3 days, then dipping way down). I recently started questioning whether we should be postponing a pregnancy, but my husband said he wasn’t really sure we were ready. I basically asked God to let whatever happen according to his will - that’s what he did last time, and I trust Him.
 
We don’t “plan” our pregnancies, we are just open to them, so that question (which is asked waaaay too often) usually gets “We were open to it” as a reply. With every pregnancy the dr’s office always asks that, along with “are you happy with the pregnancy?”“is your husband happy?” and a bunch of even more questions like that. I also answer " We are open to more (children)" when they ask if we will have any more. Its crazy the amount of people out there who think it ok to ask these questions. With this pregnancy I was changing home ins and went to the office. The officer helping us was busy and while waiting the other officer (or secretary, I couldn’t figure out which) asked if this pregnancy was planned, that was her “small talk”, someone I had never seen or met before.
 
taye said:
Oh, I was actually talking about one of my previous pregnancies. That being said, I may be pregnant… I’m having the same weird cycle irregularities I had when I had when my little “surprise” happened (high temps for 3 days, then dipping way down). I recently started questioning whether we should be postponing a pregnancy, but my husband said he wasn’t really sure we were ready. I basically asked God to let whatever happen according to his will - that’s what he did last time, and I trust Him.
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Well then, congratulations maybe if/when congratulations are appropriate.😉

You can also answer with the words I highlighted in your second post. It sometimes throws people who think humans are untimately in charge of pregnancy when you tell them you left God in charge of the planning process. The good news is that after you reach a certain number of children and people have figured out you’re a religious whacko who doesn’t go along with culture, they eventually stop asking such rude questions.😃
 
gardenswithkids said:
The good news is that after you reach a certain number of children and people have figured out you’re a religious whacko who doesn’t go along with culture, they eventually stop asking such rude questions.😃
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:rotfl: We are having fun becoming the religious whacko’s within our families!! My hubby and I have had many conversations about which family member thinks we are crazy now!! It’s fun to be crazy for Jesus:whackadoo::takeoff::choocho:
 
Why not just look at them and say the truth: “What an absurd question. It’s presumptuous to think we’re in charge of the universe like that.”

Really. Do you plan your death too?

Fact is, you can “plan” and “plan” all you want, and how many people’s planned pregnancies never happen.

And there are people who avoid and avoid and have lots of children.

It’s really silly to think we have that much control. And to answer that question any way to imply your child was unplanned will leave people forever with the image that the baby was “an accident.” I knew someone who grew up like that. Made her kind of crazy.
 
taye said:
One of my past pregnancies was “sort of” unplanned, meaning that we had started to think about having another child, but I got pregnant before we finalized our decision (while using NFP to postpone). How does one answer the dreaded question: “Was this a planned pregnancy?” I find this questions extremely rude and unnecessary (especially in the case of pregnancy resulting from rape).
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I have gotten to where i say, “I am of the belief that all pregnancies are planned.”

Whether planned by us or not…it was planned by God…and that’s all that matters!😃
 
I’d just say “God planned this baby and we’re very happy and excited about our new little one!” 🙂
 
Another possible answer to the rude: “No, the pregnancy wasn’t planned. We just can’t figure out what keeps causing it!” Looking really bewildered would help.

🙂
 
taye said:
One of my past pregnancies was “sort of” unplanned, meaning that we had started to think about having another child, but I got pregnant before we finalized our decision (while using NFP to postpone). How does one answer the dreaded question: “Was this a planned pregnancy?” I find this questions extremely rude and unnecessary (especially in the case of pregnancy resulting from rape).
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*Hi there;

People can be rude at times, I know. I have started asking people the questions they ask…back to them…if they are rude…all types of questions.

You: “Did you just ask…if this pregnancy was planned? Why do you care?”

Usually, people will be like…uh, well…what I meant to say was…let them feel awkward.

Don’t ever feel awkward, or like you have to answer anyone for your life decisions. A baby is a beautiful creation of God. My son was not ‘planned,’ and I remember hearing about it from family…‘you should have had a longer time to enjoy your marriage,’ bla bla bla…

I was younger and shyer back then. If that happened to me now? :nunchuk:

Congratulations to you by the way!! :)*
 
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