Unpure thoughts about my teacher

[karma1980]

Hi everyone. I was wondering if you could maybe suggest some reading for me that would help from the bible for my unpure thoughts about my teacher at work.
I just got into my religion a few months ago, i went to confession and have been going to church and reading the bible…and i have been feeling great!!! Better than ever!
I changed from “waitress in a stripclub, party girl” to working a decent 9-5 job and having a child and gettng married… I thought everything was great untill i started my traing for a new positon, and it seems out of the blue, this man started slowly peeking his head in my classroom to every other day, to NOW teaching it ( i had a diffrent teacher before)
I dont know what to do, i have thoughts about him and me together and think of him all the time, and i see him looking at me aswell…i sometimes stop mysaelf from fantasizing about him …
Never once have i though about another man since i have been married and NEVER has it affected me this way…
I am in need of a few passages from the bible to help with this temptation, because i know i have to be strong because if I am not, I am dreading the worst…I feel like a weak person…and i am ashamed!!!

 

[ack]

Hi,

Go to Confession again – many people find that the grace received in confession eliminates the impure thoughts for a time.

 

[jwashu]

Go to confession but also talk to your Priest about this, he can give you some advice.

My other suggestion is to just put it out of your head, focus on your husband. If the thoughts pop into your head (which you can’t control) think of your husband and the love you have for him instead.

You also say you have a young baby, you might have your Physician run a hormone check or you might just have a little post partum. (it can last that long).

Often after a child things change in the routine etc… you and your husband need to spend more time together, that will help the most

 

[grandiosa]

You don’t need passages from the Bible, you need aversion therapy. Every time you catch yourself envisioning passionate scenes with the teacher, superimpose your child crying in a courtroom seat as you and your husband fight over custody. Superimpose your husband sitting in a bar, morosely trying to drink away the pain of your betrayal.

If that doesn’t work, there is no hope. BTW, just being tempted is not a sin. It’s how you deal with it. Indulging in fantasies, flirting, seeing how close you can get to the line… those are all very wrong. But just having the temptation is not sinful.

Can you transfer to a different training class or session?

Edited to add: Not saying reading the Bible is bad, but it’s abstract to most people. And a real-life punch in the gut usually gets people’s attention better than abstract. She needs to remind herself of the consequences of indulging this temptation.

 

[Rini]

Hi Karma!

First, I want to say I am SOOO HAPPY that you have taken the initiative to learn more about the faith and are going to Mass more often! I also want to say that you are a true inspiration to me, hearing your conversion from a party girl to a loving wife and mother. God is great!!! Second, I want to apologize that I take up a lot of space in order to get my point across. I hope it is fruitful for you!

You say that this man came “out of the blue” and that you never thought about another man since being married, nor has it affected you like this man has.

The first thought that I had pop up in my head after reading your post, and making connections, was “satan”. The connection is so clear and I hope that you see it, too. The fact that you are becoming more involved with your faith and giving your life to Christ, excuse my frankness, pisses the devil off more than you could imagine. He is using this man to his advantage, inciting temptation and lust in you. The man himself is not at fault, so do not blame him.

Do not fall for this Karma! It is the simplest and sneakiest trap that the devil could set for you. The fact that this man suddenly comes into your life, as you begin your journey closer to the Lord, and causes this kind of reaction… it simply speaks evildoing to me. Do not downplay the Father of Lies… he is powerful, manipulating, and persistent, and he aids in the fall of men and women everyday with his well-placed traps, each of them customized to the person’s greatest weakness. Do not be one of his fools!

Karma, you have a will. You can choose to love, or not to love. To love is to do what is righteous, holy and best for you and your loved ones. To not love would be to surrender yourself to your own selfishness, lust and temporary pleasures of the flesh. Your actions will not only effect you, but your husband, your child, your family members, your friends, your co-workers, and most of all the man you are lusting after. Is it loving to think and look at him lustfully? No. Is it loving to allow him to think that you are inviting him with your glances? Would you be loving him if you allowed the both of you to fall to sin in the act of lust? No.

You must do what you have to do to avoid this situation. If you must limit your words when you are alone with him at work, do so. If you must stand on the other side of the room, do so. If you must leave work at the end of the day and only say “Good-bye”, do so. You must show him that you are not for the taking, you are not for his use. You, my dear, are a beautiful daughter of God, and you deserve respect and he must recognize the dignity of your personhood. Do this out of love for him.

You say that you are dreading the worst… that you feel like a weak person… We are all weak, Karma… but it is Christ that strengthens us. It is through Christ that we are able to overcome our temptations and weaknesses! He did not die on that cross for nothing!!! He loves you so much, He loves this man, and He loves your husband and child! He wants you to know how great His love and mercy are for you! Call out to Him and ask Him, beg Him, for His mercy. He will hear you.

I do not have any passages from the Bible for you, but I do have a few resources that have helped me grow tremendously in purity, and I highly recommend them!

www.chastity.com - The site is aimed at young adults, but the information provided is aimed at all! Look to the Q&A section.

giftfoundation.org/products_naked.cfm - This is one of the first talks that Christopher West gave on Theology of the Body in 1999. This has, by the grace of God, transformed my heart. It’s a free download and can be listened to in sections. It is WONDERFUL!!! I highly, highly recommend devoting yourself to listening to this talk. It will not only help you with this, but it will change your life.

Karma, know that you are in my prayers. Know that I love you, and the Lord loves you unceasingly. Praise be to God that you chose to reach out to your brothers and sisters for help! May He bless you and strengthen you all of your days!!!

St. Maria Goretti, pray for us! Our Lady of Peace, pray for us!