Unreasonable request regarding confession?

[Catholic_Wife]

Like most parishes in our diocese, the sacrament of Reconciliation at our parish is available only on Saturday afternoons and by appointment. I work every Friday and Saturday night, and am sleeping at 3:00 pm, so I don’t have to opportunity to avail myself to the sacrament as often as I would like. Please don’t suggest that I make the effort to go to confession at that time anyway, as it would be like me suggesting to those who work M-F 9-5 that they should get up in the middle of the night to go to confession at 3:00 am. Our priest is very busy, and getting an appointment with him is difficult - especially since the days I always have off are Sundays and Tuesdays, and his “day off” is Tuesday.

Would it be unreasonable for me to ask him to hear my confession before or after Saturday morning Mass? I would ask him in advance, not just spring it on him. I’d even offer to buy him breakfast to repay him for the “inconvenience” of hearing my confession outside of normal business hours…

 

[Morwenna]

Like most parishes in our diocese, the sacrament of Reconciliation at our parish is available only on Saturday afternoons and by appointment. I work every Friday and Saturday night, and am sleeping at 3:00 pm, so I don’t have to opportunity to avail myself to the sacrament as often as I would like. Please don’t suggest that I make the effort to go to confession at that time anyway, as it would be like me suggesting to those who work M-F 9-5 that they should get up in the middle of the night to go to confession at 3:00 am. Our priest is very busy, and getting an appointment with him is difficult - especially since the days I always have off are Sundays and Tuesdays, and his “day off” is Tuesday.

Would it be unreasonable for me to ask him to hear my confession before or after Saturday morning Mass? I would ask him in advance, not just spring it on him. I’d even offer to buy him breakfast to repay him for the “inconvenience” of hearing my confession outside of normal business hours…

It doesn’t sound unreasonable to me. Over breakfast might also be a good opportunity to ask about setting up a second (ongoing) confession time that would be more realistic for all the parishioners who work at night … I’m sure there are others in your shoes who would be so grateful to have an opportunity for confession that wouldn’t involve disrupting their entire sleep cycle.

 

[Catholic_Wife]

It doesn’t sound unreasonable to me. Over breakfast might also be a good opportunity to ask about setting up a second (ongoing) confession time that would be more realistic for all the parishioners who work at night

… I’m sure there are others in your shoes who would be so grateful to have an opportunity for confession that wouldn’t involve disrupting their entire sleep cycle.
This would be my ideal, and what I was originally going to ask about. You would have thought someone would have come up with this idea years ago, right? For now, I would be content to be able to confess at least once a month instead of only every 2-4 months.

 

[LilyM]

Hearing confessions - whenever someone needs him to hear them - is part and parcel
of a priest’s job. People’s souls are at stake, so a priest should be prepared to hearing confessions and anointing the sick at odd hours.

The breakfast idea is a good way to break the ice and sweeten the deal, but it sounds strange to me to describe it as compensation. Imagine walking into a hospital emergency department at 5 in the morning and buying the doctor who sees you breakfast to apologise for the inconvenience!

 

[andy92]

Most parish Priests in my diocese offer confession before mass as long as it is reasonably short like 1-3 mins. He gets the sacrament to like 5 people then starts mass.

 

[thomasf]

If that doesn’t work out, try finding other confession times at other parishes in the area. I regularly go to another parish for confession because that parish has weds night confessions available, which works well with my work times.

 

[Slowride]

Go to confession. Thanks for reminding me that I need to go. I think I will call. He usually hears me right after mass if I can’t make it on Saturday.

 

[SonSearcher]

Like most parishes in our diocese, the sacrament of Reconciliation at our parish is available only on Saturday afternoons and by appointment. I work every Friday and Saturday night, and am sleeping at 3:00 pm, so I don’t have to opportunity to avail myself to the sacrament as often as I would like. Please don’t suggest that I make the effort to go to confession at that time anyway, as it would be like me suggesting to those who work M-F 9-5 that they should get up in the middle of the night to go to confession at 3:00 am. Our priest is very busy, and getting an appointment with him is difficult - especially since the days I always have off are Sundays and Tuesdays, and his “day off” is Tuesday.

Would it be unreasonable for me to ask him to hear my confession before or after Saturday morning Mass? I would ask him in advance, not just spring it on him. I’d even offer to buy him breakfast to repay him for the “inconvenience” of hearing my confession outside of normal business hours…

No I don’t think that is unreasonable. I have done that once and it turned out to be one of my most humble earth shattering confessions. Of course check with the priest first.

Also we have several parishes in our area and I often find that getting to one of those during their scheduled reconciliation helps too.

 

[St_Francis]

To be honest, it depends on where you live. We have priests who celebrate 3 or more Masses on Sunday alone. When you ask, you might briefly lay out your schedule and see if he suggests an alternate time.

 

[Bookcat]

Just talk with the Priest and make an appointment that will work – do not worry too much.

After Mass can yes be a good time.

 

[catholictiger]

Like most parishes in our diocese, the sacrament of Reconciliation at our parish is available only on Saturday afternoons and by appointment. I work every Friday and Saturday night, and am sleeping at 3:00 pm, so I don’t have to opportunity to avail myself to the sacrament as often as I would like. Please don’t suggest that I make the effort to go to confession at that time anyway, as it would be like me suggesting to those who work M-F 9-5 that they should get up in the middle of the night to go to confession at 3:00 am. Our priest is very busy, and getting an appointment with him is difficult - especially since the days I always have off are Sundays and Tuesdays, and his “day off” is Tuesday.

Would it be unreasonable for me to ask him to hear my confession before or after Saturday morning Mass? I would ask him in advance, not just spring it on him. I’d even offer to buy him breakfast to repay him for the “inconvenience” of hearing my confession outside of normal business hours…

simply ask the priest, the majority of priest and I hope all priests are always willing to hear someone’s confession, now granted sometimes their schedules may not allow it, but I would hope and think almost all priests would do their best to reschedule the confession.

for example lets say you ask him to hear your confession after mass one weekday, but he tells you that I have somewhere to be almost directly after mass could you get there 15 min before mass?

priests want to hear your confession you just have to get it in their schedule, if God so will’s for me to be a priest, I would push to make it to where I never deny someone the opportunity for confession if it means I’m late to a parish meetings, have a few less minuets on preparing a homily or what ever I will make it a priority. I suspect most priests have this same priority on confession.

BTW I see a holy hour as essential to my life, my future as a priest, and my salvation. I would stop in the middle of my holy hour to hear someone’s confession.

one more time, I would suspect almost all priests are willing and want to hear your confession and will make their schedule fit so they can clean your soul.

 

[zz912]

Not unreasonable at all. Just call the parish office to set it up. I myself am very busy on Saturdays, so I will call up the parish and ask for an appt before noon weekday mass. I take my lunch break a little early, get there about 11:45, and done in 5 minutes tops. Priest has never had a problem with it.

Just make sure you are quick about it if it is before Mass. No long-winded confessions, just hammer out the sins and let him do his part. He needs to get himself prepared for Mass.

 

[zz912]

BTW I see a holy hour as essential to my life, my future as a priest, and my salvation. I would stop in the middle of my holy hour to hear someone’s confession.

Absolutely awesome!!

And when you are a priest, make sure you spread the availability and knowledge of Confession to your flock.

Some ideas:

1. Make a regular mid-week confessional times, like an hour or two on a Wednesday night, at least once a month. It will allow those of us with small children and busy work schedules a regular opportunity.
2. Make Confession a regular part of faith formation for kids/teens. Have multiple confessions scheduled for those who are working towards First Communion and Confirmation. And make parents part of this as well. (Kids won’t go if they think it is not something everyone does.)
3. Make Confession a regular, normal part of the wedding process, like having it before or after the rehearsal, so their souls are pure on their wedding day.
4. Speak about it regularly in homilies, and the need for it.
5. Consider special times all through Advent and Lent, even considering during Mass if another priest is available.

God bless you on your discernment for the priesthood!

 

[Marie5890]

If that doesn’t work out, try finding other confession times at other parishes in the area. I regularly go to another parish for confession because that parish has weds night confessions available, which works well with my work times.

I was thinking that this too, would be another option for the OP to look into.

 

[Catholic_Wife]

If that doesn’t work out, try finding other confession times at other parishes in the area. I regularly go to another parish for confession because that parish has weds night confessions available, which works well with my work times.

I’ve looked into that. I could try the cathedral, which lists confession before their daily mid-day Mass (which would be like a M-F/9-5 person going to confession at midnight). The only other confession time at a parish within an hour’s drive is on Wednesday evening. I work every other Wednesday night, and have a small church group meeting the Wednesdays I don’t work. I guess I could skip my small church group to go to confession instead of asking my priest to spare 5 minutes before or after Mass.

 

[Deo_Gratias42]

Hearing confessions - whenever someone needs him to hear them - is part and parcel
of a priest’s job. People’s souls are at stake, so a priest should be prepared to hearing confessions and anointing the sick at odd hours.

The breakfast idea is a good way to break the ice and sweeten the deal, but it sounds strange to me to describe it as compensation. Imagine walking into a hospital emergency department at 5 in the morning and buying the doctor who sees you breakfast to apologise for the inconvenience!

I don’t think it’s unreasonable, and I agree the breakfast thing sounds peculiar. Assuming your priest takes his priesthood seriously and values confession, he will likely have no issues obliging. However, I had a priest flat out refuse to hear my confession outside of scheduled time because he “doesn’t do confessions outside of when it’s scheduled.” He also has the reputation of being a “9-5 priest”.

 

[bassdrummer]

Because I commit the same sins over and over (and because of the delicacy and private nature of them - addict), my Confessor sees me once a week, at the end of a weekday. It is typically Thursday, and he tells me each time afterwards that this works out fine and I am to call/email him anytime I need him.

I agree with what others have posted; this is their “job”, it is their ministry to tend to Jesus’ flock, I doubt even a handful would deny those who are most desperately in need.

I’m sure if approached, your priest would be all too happy to do the same for you.

 

[Catholic_Wife]

I don’t think it’s unreasonable, and I agree the breakfast thing sounds peculiar. Assuming your priest takes his priesthood seriously and values confession, he will likely have no issues obliging. **However, I had a priest flat out refuse to hear my confession outside of scheduled time because he “doesn’t do confessions outside of when it’s scheduled.” **He also has the reputation of being a “9-5 priest”.

Our former priest was like this, and he didn’t really like making appointments during business hours for confessions. I ended up going to confession only once in the course of a year, at a penance service, and started becoming “marginal” in my faith because I felt like it didn’t matter if I sinned or not because I couldn’t go to confession anyway. This is the reason I’m hesitant to ask this of our new priest, even though he is more approachable.

 

[St_Francis]

Our former priest was like this, and he didn’t really like making appointments during business hours for confessions. I ended up going to confession only once in the course of a year, at a penance service, and started becoming “marginal” in my faith because I felt like it didn’t matter if I sinned or not because I couldn’t go to confession anyway. This is the reason I’m hesitant to ask this of our new priest, even though he is more approachable.

Persevere! It is your right; it is part of his job, to hear your Confession!

I went to a daily Mass out of town recently because they had Confession right after daily Mass–every day!!! And there were 4 or 5 other people there

Naturally, one does not want to be inconsiderate and ask for Confession at 3 am, but you seem flexible enough given your tight and difficult schedule.

One receives graces from Confession, and it is really important, as you pointed out. A priest who won’t do Confession at a different time and who refuses to make appointments during office hours either has something odd going on or is doing the wrong thing with the wrong attitude.

Priests in our area have Mondays off. Did you say there was another parish nearby? Maybe that priest has a different day off?

You are doing the right thing in persevering for a solution.