Unrequited love..i feel so low

[jeffrey_tantowi]

Unrequited love? The ultimate example would be Jesus who loved this world but the world hated him and many continue to hate him (Freedom from Religion Foundation and ACLU for instance)

lol. what a great and lovely comment

 

[dedo]

I would say to try and turn it into something positive by:

1. Spending time with God.
2. Work toward some goal.
3. Spend time with other people, especially in non-romantic relationships where people will appreciate you for you.
4. Exercise.

If you are feeling really low you can get some counseling.

Sitting around, not moving forward, or not interacting with others, tends to make it worse because the feelings circulate in your mind. Being engaged with others and the world gives you a more healthy and realistic perspective.

 

[dedo]

I would say to try and turn it into something positive by:

1. Spending time with God.
2. Work toward some goal.
3. Spend time with other people, especially in non-romantic relationships where people will appreciate you for you.
4. Exercise.

If you are feeling really low you can get some counseling.

Sitting around, not moving forward, or not interacting with others, tends to make it worse because the feelings circulate in your mind. Being engaged with others and the world gives you a more healthy and realistic perspective.

 

[sugarush]

just an update for everyone its been a year i find my self in the same situation nothing has changed since then. ive been praying to god and i know he will answer me.

 

[bsf]

How can we help? Would you like to share a little more information?

 

[Caroline723]

It’s been a year and the feelings are just as intense? How old are you?

One thing that will help a lot is to cut contact if you haven’t done that yet. Every time you talk or see him it will reopen the wound before it has healed over.

I was/am in a similar situation. I met the guy at church, so when the relationship ended, I tried to continue going to the same church. Was only more painful. I had to cut contact with him, go to another church, and distance myself from his friends so I wouldn’t be tempted to ask for updates on his life.

If you feel like your heart is stuck on this, think about going to talk to someone. When that feeling of unrequited love doesn’t pass, it’s not usually about that person, but about something in your past. Sounds hocus pocus-y but true. Getting to heart of of those feelings will help resolve them.

Lastly, acknowledge them as feelings, but keep them in perspective. Life does go on after hurt.

 

[LaughingBoy1503]

just an update for everyone its been a year i find my self in the same situation nothing has changed since then. ive been praying to god and i know he will answer me.

Sorry time has not healed yet. At least you still have faith That God will answer you. Still in contact with your friend? When I commented on this post 1 year ago I was feeling down about a friend of mine that I knew I could not be with. I still like her a little but I don’t feel bad about not being able to be with her anymore. We still keep in contact once in awhile but I cannot physically see her because she lives far away so maybe that helped me. It took me 11 months to get over the sadness. But I remember it taking years sometimes to get over some “crushes” when I was a teenager. And I remember one in particular that seemed to confirm that “It’s a thin line between love and hate” I went from thinking I was in love to one day just absolutely despising her But that is my story. If venting here will make you feel any better, there are people who will listen. I am certain you will heal. Once again, take care and God bless!

 

[AgathaChristie]

I have a situation but I think it’s sadder because this guy doesn’t even know I exist. It’s a guy in church that I’ve developed a crush on for all these years. I’ve been going to this church for almost five years and not once have we talked to each other. He never looked at me. I’m afraid there’s something wrong because he never receives communion. He always just kneels to receive the blessing. It’s baffling me. I don’t think he’s married because he doesn’t wear a wedding ring. He’s Knights of Columbus. He’s the only young guy there that I notice praying after Mass. He and I are practically the only two young people left (30s) after Mass doing our thanksgiving prayer so I can’t help notice him. It bothers me that he might be divorced maybe that’s why he’s not receiving communion. Sigh. Really depresses me why I like him. I tried to forget him but it’s not working. I prayed to our Lord to make me forget him but it’s hard. Yes, unrequited love or unrequited crush in my case.

 

[bsf]

I have a situation but I think it’s sadder because this guy doesn’t even know I exist. It’s a guy in church that I’ve developed a crush on for all these years. I’ve been going to this church for almost five years and not once have we talked to each other. He never looked at me. I’m afraid there’s something wrong because he never receives communion. He always just kneels to receive the blessing. It’s baffling me. I don’t think he’s married because he doesn’t wear a wedding ring. He’s Knights of Columbus. He’s the only young guy there that I notice praying after Mass. He and I are practically the only two young people left (30s) after Mass doing our thanksgiving prayer so I can’t help notice him. It bothers me that he might be divorced maybe that’s why he’s not receiving communion. Sigh. Really depresses me why I like him. I tried to forget him but it’s not working. I prayed to our Lord to make me forget him but it’s hard. Yes, unrequited love or unrequited crush in my case.

I probably have some insight into this situation.

He knows you exist, but that is probably not relevant. You could simply approach him, but frankly, I suspect you could do better. However, if you need to work on your “people skills” and striking up conversations with others, you could practice on him. Be charitable, though. If you have not been doing so previously, you need to start putting yourself in other situations where you are likely to encounter eligible males that meet your criteria. “Young people” staying after mass is too small a pool.

I will pray for you.

Oh, & BTW EVERYONE, the OP is probably long gone. Look at the post dates and # of posts.

 

[flufinonis]

Oh, & BTW EVERYONE, the OP is probably long gone. Look at the post dates and # of posts.

She updated on March 18th, this year.

Sugarush, you have to let this go. It’s the best you can do.
I had feelings for a guy for a reaaally long time. When he stated noticing it, he told me in different ways it wouldn’t work. It was hard to let it go. 5 years have passed and just now I found out why it wouldn’t work, and the stuggles he has to deal with.

Also I was a depressive girl and that kept me from making friends. I barely have them now. How I would meet someone if I was this… undesirable for everyone? Someone told me that if I didn’t love myself it would be impossible to love anyone.

So I started with that. I had to forgive myself, I had to reconcile with my history, with my past. Start being truthful with myself. Start being truthful with others. Strengthening my relationship with God. Being the best woman I could for my future husband, and the way I wanted him to be. Also praying for my future husband, wherever he is, and asking him to be a saint man. So if I wanted to marry a saint, I’d rather start trying my best to be a saint too.

Forget about this guy. Maybe he’s not the one God’s thought for you. Forget about finding a partner and leave it in God’s hands. Let God put infront of you the person that’ll help you reach a saint marriage, and let Him do whatever’s necessary for it to happen. He won’t turn you down, I promise. If you don’t move on, you’ll turn him into some kind of god.

I’m currently going out with a guy I met 3 years ago. I would have never ever dated him, but woah, God works in funny ways and now he’s been my boyfriend for more than 2 years. He was trully a diamond hiding in a piece of rock. Now I’m sure (and I’ve experienced it) he’d do whatever possible to help me reach Heaven, which should be our most important goal actually.

 

[Luvz2travel]

im feeling low and i dont knw really what do? i feel so hopeless at this point in time. ive been praying to God asking him to give me the strenght to go through this situation. i have feelings for my guyfriend and he doesnt feel the same for me

has anyone been in this situation? do u still think abt that person? are u still in contact with them

Yep many times. Nothing you do say and try to be will ever change how they feel so it’s best to let them go. Be friends with them if you can though it might be a little painful. I’ve had the experience many times. Life is not a Hollywood movie so don’t expect them to ever change their mind.

I will also say that in 3 cases where I really was hit hard I later found out I actually had a wonderful escape and none of them would have worked out in the long run.

 

[anon87900350]

I have been in that situation, and I know how painful it can be. I still think about him, and wonder how he’s doing sometimes, but not about contacting him again. Immediately after I stopped contacting him, my thoughts were more about what I could have done differently in terms of how I was with him, and feeling guilty about it. I’d thought I failed him because had I been more understanding, and accepting of his feelings (rather the lack there of), then I wouldn’t have had to break contact with him, and I felt weak and selfish for breaking all contact. Then I did a lot of wishful thinking: how it might have been different had I met him earlier in his life before he got hurt in love, had it been under a different circumstance where I would have been able to be closer to him, etc. Then I turned to anger because I had spent so much time with this individual hoping for progress but he was so damaged and so distracted by other stuff or perhaps other women in his life, to pay any real attention to what I was saying or feeling. Then it turned to self -pity because all my insecurities, fears, and feelings of not feeling good enough came to the fore, and his rejection just affirmed it all even more.

But the Lord felt my pain, and He began to help me out when I started praying.

I began to pray everyday for many hours, and ask him to show me why I was given this experience, and he showed me how I was keeping myself unhappy, and why I specifically chose this person instead of others. He also showed me that I was hurting Him by remaining in pain. Finally, he showed me that I must pray for this person, and that is part of the reason why I was given this experience.

That literally was the undoing, and the healing process that helped me to get over it-praying for that person.

So that’s what I would recommend–to just start praying for healing while also praying for the person who did not return your feelings.

 

[Et_Cetera]

I had a crush on a good friend when I was about 12 or so, she didn’t return the feeling. Actually, to say it was a crush is probably underselling it, it was extremely strong. I know that at that age, boys tend to be very concerned with the physical but it wasn’t really a physical thing for me. She was homely looking, certainly not a beauty but there was just something more to her. I thought about her for years, she had some kind of power over me in that whatever she said was suddenly interesting to me, whatever she did… I wanted to try to, just a complete infatuation.

These days, we’re friends on facebook, nothing more, nothing less. Once a year, maybe twice a year she crosses my mind. But I’m married now, and the love I have for my wife far exceeds that unrequited love I had for her.

I bet your story will have a happy ending, too.

Yeah, this is a good way to look at the original post. OP: If there’s no chance with the person, make peace with yourself about it, and move on in the world. Life is too short.

 

[LoveJesus13]

I have been in that situation, and I know how painful it can be. I still think about him, and wonder how he’s doing sometimes, but not about contacting him again. Immediately after I stopped contacting him, my thoughts were more about what I could have done differently in terms of how I was with him, and feeling guilty about it. I’d thought I failed him because had I been more understanding, and accepting of his feelings (rather the lack there of), then I wouldn’t have had to break contact with him, and I felt weak and selfish for breaking all contact. Then I did a lot of wishful thinking: how it might have been different had I met him earlier in his life before he got hurt in love, had it been under a different circumstance where I would have been able to be closer to him, etc. Then I turned to anger because I had spent so much time with this individual hoping for progress but he was so damaged and so distracted by other stuff or perhaps other women in his life, to pay any real attention to what I was saying or feeling. Then it turned to self -pity because all my insecurities, fears, and feelings of not feeling good enough came to the fore, and his rejection just affirmed it all even more.

But the Lord felt my pain, and He began to help me out when I started praying.

I began to pray everyday for many hours, and ask him to show me why I was given this experience, and he showed me how I was keeping myself unhappy, and why I specifically chose this person instead of others. He also showed me that I was hurting Him by remaining in pain. Finally, he showed me that I must pray for this person, and that is part of the reason why I was given this experience.

That literally was the undoing, and the healing process that helped me to get over it-praying for that person.

So that’s what I would recommend–to just start praying for healing while also praying for the person who did not return your feelings.

I agree with aanto88, praying for the person can help and maybe that’s the reason why we’re given the experience.