Unrequited Love in heaven

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I wouldn’t say I barely know her
I’ve known her like 4 years all liked her for on and off like 2 or more years

But I do agree maybe some day I won’t care as much but that hurts to think about too in a way
 
First off, offering you all the affection I can. Unrequited love sucks. Lord knows, I’ve been there…and not just in the romantic sense…I have unrequited love with my parents that kills me every day.

Others have hit the nail on the head, I just thought I’d offer a personal message if it’s helpful to you. Feel free to disregard if it doesn’t apply. 🙂

Hoping for some kind of love from this person in the future isn’t going to help you move on. It’s going to keep you trapped in the idea, looking ever forward to a future that may never exist. Instead, it’s always been helpful to me to realize who I am in Christ.

When you meditate on the great love Jesus has for you, that he died for you, and he wants to spend ETERNITY with you, you can begin to see your value. When you know your value, you know what you deserve. You deserve someone who loves you as Jesus does - with passion, purity, and wholeness. You deserve that love, and don’t settle for less. Even if it’s just in some corner of your mind.
 
I agree with everything you said

The thing for me is
I knew from the start this girl didn’t like me.she was close and had some close calls with me but it was because she was dealing with her own unrequited love she had for a long time.
Now she simply says she’s ok being single and always had felt that way accept for the one guy (an actual really good friend of mine)

I try to know God loves me
But it’s never seems to click into place
Maybe if I keep trying one day it will
I know I can talk to God but I really wish I could feel him

I’ve also been trying to befriend my guardian angel
I know in head all of what God promises me is true
But my heart just can’t grasp it even if it believes it
 
St Teresa of Avila wrote something about this in The Way of Perfection.
 
ineedofmercy said:
Does that mean if the person we have Unrequited Love makes it into heaven that they will love us?
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Yes. In fact, in Heaven you will be permanently and intimately united with that other.

And commenting on those who say this will not be romantic and/or sexual, in fact it will be both. It will not, however, be lustful, since that is a sin and cannot possibly exist in Heaven.
 
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Lee1 said:
What makes you say that love in heaven will be the ways you describe?
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If it was any other way, I wouldn’t want to go. Would you? What kind of a heaven would Heaven be if man’s deepest desire – a desire given to him by God since he was created – would not be satisfied?

Man’s longing for the feminine, and woman’s longing for the masculine, is holy, and has always been acknowledged as such by all authentic traditions, including, of course, the Catholic Church. Arrival in Heaven will not undo, lessen, or alter the holiness of the attraction between the masculine and the feminine. On the contrary, it will perfectly fulfill it.
 
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“If it was any other way, I wouldn’t want to go. Would you?”

I’ll go where God puts me.

You are expressing mortal thoughts and desires, I don’t beleive those desires will remain with those who have attained salvation.
In fact I’d go so far to say that unless those desires have been quashed a place in heaven would not be offered.

You think our purified spirit will be having sex in heaven? Or some strange equivalent.
I think as I said before the desire we will have for God’s love will be all we want and all we will receive in heaven, that may bring rapture - but not sexual rapture. A far higher joy.

Pretty sure your ideas here can’t be validated by reference to the Gospels or the Catechism.
 
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Lee1 said:
I’d go so far to say that unless those desires have been quashed a place in heaven would not be offered. You think our purified spirit will be having sex in heaven?
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Now you’re recasting what I said in coarse terms in order to build your case against my point. If you don’t believe it, that’s fine. (And I don’t say that with bitterness.)

I will say though, that it is a general tendency in modern Christian thought to believe that all desire, and especially sexual desire, are a barrier to entrance to Heaven. This isn’t so. What presents a barrier to entrance to Heaven, is sin. Sexual desire is only sinful when it is lustful. A pure desire for union with the opposite sex, however, is not sinful in the least, but utterly sacred. Can the sacred, and a longing for it, keep a man (woman) from entering Heaven? Clearly not. Rather, his (her) ardent longing for it is a sign of his (her) eligibility.

As for scriptural support, within the Christian canon there is the Song of Solomon of course, and if we look beyond scripture to literature there is the tradition of courtly love. Outside the Christian canon the scriptural support for what I’m saying is overwhelming, but reference to any of that typically doesn’t gain much appreciation here.

P.S. Thinking more about your question of whether our “purified spirit will be having sex in heaven”, I think it actually deserves an answer and that answer is yes. The thing to keep in mind though, is the adjective “purified”! I am also not saying that sex in Heaven should be imagined to be similar to the sexual act as experienced on earth – though I’m also not saying it shouldn’t. I believe it’s something that one shouldn’t attempt to describe.
 
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To voice what I’ve learned from the “sex in heaven” debate

There won’t be a need for it
And like a kid couldn’t understand why people would want to have sex instead of candy or playing games
We can’t understand what would be without it or replace it

But since we are guaranteed to be happy it shouldn’t matter
The pleasure we receive for a mere smile in heaven with be way more than sex ever was here
 
A couple of things. One, when and if we get to heaven we will be in full communion with God and everyone there. I can’t even begin to imagine what that’s like, but I know the mass and the Holy Eucharist give a tiny foretaste. Thy Kingdom come…

Secondly, I was remembering my first love the other day and how special first loves can be. She dumped me shortly after high school and it messed me up for a long time. True, we were involved in some things we had no business being involved in and in a way I wonder if that’s why it hurt so bad. I eventually learned to enjoy spending time by myself and many years later I saw a photo of her and her husband being used by the group Freedom From Religion and their ‘This is What an Atheist Looks Like’ campaign. Sometimes it takes a while to realize what God has saved us from.

Persevere young man. You seem to have a good heart and your a Christian which is more than I could say for myself at your age.
 
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I’m trying to accept and place all my heart in that future.
My hope is just that when I meet this girl in heaven that she will know what I felt then and have a love for me.
Going to be honest (despite my porn addiction)I don’t want to have sex with this girl or any other crush I’ve had recently
I’m not against it later down like in marriage of course
But I love her faces,the way she does things,her voice, her eyes (I mean I seriously love her eyes I tease her about it), and ect
From what I’ve heard I pretty sure in heaven I’ll see her and we will all be happy just to be there with God together

And that’s what I hope for
It helps me get over her knowing that I can appreciate her but not call her my wife
And that I will only be without her for my time on earth
And in heaven whatever happens it will be good for us both and we will be filled with God’s love for us and eachother

Thanks for help guys
I
 
Please bear in mind that we feel in world, this uncontrollable desire for someone is not necessarily love. If it were pure love we would be uncontrollably need God. And even then Holy Fathers teach us that God does not call for us in ways we simply can’t handle. He is loving and omnipotent.
What you feel may be a mixture of temptation (the devil twists your affection for this girl in obsession in hope for making you miserably and bitter at God at some point), an idealized view of her you have composed, the real sincere affection you have for her, your uncontrollable missing for Heaven that in this world we perceived twistedly as a need to be happy no matter what.
God bless, I hope you get to date her and solve the unknown questions the easy way from closeness. I know it’s very painful to fight back the idealized image of someone, somehow written in your head as if by magic, from a distance and the constant demon of missing out of that perfect someone. But it’s possible. But I wouldn’t wish it to anyone.
 
Sometimes I admit that I think I put her higher than should but not intentionally
(I don’t even mean above God but just maybe I remember her better than she is)

I miss her hugs or when she put he head on my arm(and I forgot what they were like so I think the devil uses that to exarrarate it)
She distances for my sake but by liking her (something I can’t 100% control) I’ve lost part of that close friendship and my shyness is no fear of annoying her

I feel like no matter what it’ll be a sad situation
What’s keeping my hope going into my fear of adult hood and my friends going our separate ways
Are some silly hobbies I’ve had since childhood coming to light again
Maybe I can just wait my life out in grace by doing good deeds and fighting sadness and boredom
 
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