Unsure of Next Step

[Mommy2threeboys]

First I should provide some background info. I was baptized as a Catholic as an infant, but parents divorced when I was three and was subsequently brought up in a Protestant household. When I went to college, I was drawn to the evangelical protestant movement. Sometime between graduation (2007) and now, I have basically fallen into a skeptical mindset–but I feel like it is more alienation from God for some reason. In the 7 years since graduation, I have married and have three sons ages 7, 4, and 1. My husband is staunchly anti-Catholic; especially since prior to getting married I had considered a Catholic Church and the stipulations for marriage and child-rearing in the Catholic faith turned him off completely.

In the past few months, it has been weighing on my mind to go to the local Catholic Church (I have been there previously as a guest). It is a very large church, with Saturday evening services, and 3 services on Sundays.

But I am unsure of how I fit in. Can I take communion, since I was baptized Catholic? Who should I seek out for information? I have already emailed the secretary but have gotten no response in the past two weeks. I really don’t have much “training” in Catholic rituals or the real tenets of the faith, is there usually a class or something I could take?

Here is my biggest concern. If I feel I want to commit fully to this, and want my children to partake in it–what do I do? Could I baptize my 4 year old and 1 year old? My 7 year old, what about him? What do I do given my husband WILL NOT be approachable on this matter whatsoever. He is not religious at all, but does believe there is a God—he has a very negative outlook on Catholicism.

 

[ClearWater]

First I should provide some background info. I was baptized as a Catholic as an infant, but parents divorced when I was three and was subsequently brought up in a Protestant household. When I went to college, I was drawn to the evangelical protestant movement. Sometime between graduation (2007) and now, I have basically fallen into a skeptical mindset–but I feel like it is more alienation from God for some reason. In the 7 years since graduation, I have married and have three sons ages 7, 4, and 1. My husband is staunchly anti-Catholic; especially since prior to getting married I had considered a Catholic Church and the stipulations for marriage and child-rearing in the Catholic faith turned him off completely.

In the past few months, it has been weighing on my mind to go to the local Catholic Church (I have been there previously as a guest). It is a very large church, with Saturday evening services, and 3 services on Sundays.

But I am unsure of how I fit in. **Can I take communion, since I was baptized Catholic? ** Who should I seek out for information? I have already emailed the secretary but have gotten no response in the past two weeks. I really don’t have much “training” in Catholic rituals or the real tenets of the faith, is there usually a class or something I could take?

Here is my biggest concern. If I feel I want to commit fully to this, and want my children to partake in it–what do I do? **Could I baptize my 4 year old and 1 year old? **My 7 year old, what about him? What do I do given my husband WILL NOT be approachable on this matter whatsoever. He is not religious at all, but does believe there is a God—he has a very negative outlook on Catholicism.

Well, even if one is baptized Catholic, there is a process one goes through in preparation to receive communion. One needs to also confess any mortal sins.

If one is an adult when undergoing the process, there is a program that helps with all that. It’s called RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation), and one can contact the parish about it. There is no commitment if one goes. It is for people who have decided to join the Catholic faith AND for people who are exploring, have questions, or are still undecided.

There, they should be able to answer your questions and help prepare you, should you decide to go through with this.

We normally have our first “reconciliation”, (confession), and then receive our First Communion. There is a ceremony for that.

Then, lastly, there is confirmation, when one decides to go with Catholicism and commits, formally, to it.

You can get your children baptized at any age, but I think they insist on consent of both parents, as a prerequisite.

Being baptized Catholic when one can´t follow through on the rest wouldn´t work, anyway.

I hope you can get some support for yourself, in the meantime, so you don´t feel so alone with this. Surely others in RCIA will have had similar experiences to your own, and maybe they can be supportive, insights.

Good luck with whatever path you take. God bless you!

 

[Mommy2threeboys]

Well, even if one is baptized Catholic, there is a process one goes through in preparation to receive communion. One needs to also confess any mortal sins.

If one is an adult when undergoing the process, there is a program that helps with all that. It’s called RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation), and one can contact the parish about it. There is no commitment if one goes. It is for people who have decided to join the Catholic faith AND for people who are exploring, have questions, or are still undecided.

There, they should be able to answer your questions and help prepare you, should you decide to go through with this.

We normally have our first “reconciliation”, (confession), and then receive our First Communion. There is a ceremony for that.

Then, lastly, there is confirmation, when one decides to go with Catholicism and commits, formally, to it.

You can get your children baptized at any age, but I think they insist on consent of both parents, as a prerequisite.

Being baptized Catholic when one can´t follow through on the rest wouldn´t work, anyway.

I hope you can get some support for yourself, in the meantime, so you don´t feel so alone with this. Surely others in RCIA will have had similar experiences to your own, and maybe they can be supportive, insights.

Good luck with whatever path you take. God bless you!

Every resource I have checked online states that you need only the consent of one parent (regardless of married or not) for baptism.

I certainly would not go through the trouble of baptizing my children if I were not going to raise them as practicing Catholics.

My husband wouldn’t care if they went to the church, read the Bible, prayed, etc. because that’s “Christian,” (his mom is Baptist, so all of that would be "okay. . But, he would not approve of a baptism because he would equate that is cementing them into the Catholic Church, binding them forever and not allowing them to “choose” their own path. He is very rigid, inflexible, and takes strange positions on things. I assure you, I am not blind to the strangeness of his position on this. He doesn’t know much about any of it, but has a perception of Catholics by virtue of a Baptist upbringing.

In short, he wouldn’t disapprove of them attending the Catholic Church, but he would go ballistic if I asked to have them baptized into it. Assuming I commit myself to the Church, wouldn’t it be a grave error not to baptize my children? Don’t I have the obligation to God and my children to do this for them? It’s been a long time since I read my Bible, but I am pretty sure I read things about wives should follow their husbands in all things, unless it causes some violation of God’s clear wishes. I would think baptizing would be a clear wish, but I could be wrong.

 

[ClearWater]

Every resource I have checked online states that you need only the consent of one parent (regardless of married or not) for baptism.

I certainly would not go through the trouble of baptizing my children if I were not going to raise them as practicing Catholics.

My husband wouldn’t care if they went to the church, read the Bible, prayed, etc. because that’s “Christian,” (his mom is Baptist, so all of that would be "okay. . But, he would not approve of a baptism because he would equate that is cementing them into the Catholic Church, binding them forever and not allowing them to “choose” their own path. He is very rigid, inflexible, and takes strange positions on things. I assure you, I am not blind to the strangeness of his position on this. He doesn’t know much about any of it, but has a perception of Catholics by virtue of a Baptist upbringing.

In short, he wouldn’t disapprove of them attending the Catholic Church, but he would go ballistic if I asked to have them baptized into it. Assuming I commit myself to the Church, wouldn’t it be a grave error not to baptize my children? Don’t I have the obligation to God and my children to do this for them? It’s been a long time since I read my Bible, but I am pretty sure I read things about wives should follow their husbands in all things, unless it causes some violation of God’s clear wishes. I would think baptizing would be a clear wish, but I could be wrong.

I think the next best thing after being baptized Catholic would be a denomination that the Catholic Church considers the baptism to be a “valid baptism”, I would think.

 

[DoGodsBidding]

Gracious and merciful Father, please guide them on their journey.

Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed are thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.

Glory Be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end.
Amen.

 

[Sandraaustin]

As Clearwater stated, you must complete RCIA classes in order to make your First Holy Communion / Confirmation, receive the sacrament of (first) Penance, etc, to receive the Holy Eucharist at Mass.

Phone or visit the office at the church, since emails are apparently not given much priority. In our parish, RCIA started a month ago, but if they work with you, then you can still catch up in time for Easter.

Okay, you already know this is going to cause a LOT of upheaval in your household, so try to resist arguing in any way with your husband about it, as you’re the one changing things, not him… If you can get him to go to ANY kind of counseling in regards to this matter, please consider it, as from what you’ve said, this will be a major stressor on your marriage. In fact, you might start praying a rosary daily NOW for your husband’s heart to soften towards the Church; put it in Mary’s hands and trust that she will get it done. You don’t need to have made your First Holy Communion to pray the rosary.

In the meantime, if your husband doesn’t have a problem with having your kids baptized in any other church, then why not start them at least going to those services and/or church school? The Catholic Church recognizes any baptism when it’s performed according to the proper rite, which is usual in most Christian churches, Baptist included, of course. And if he truly wants them to “decide for themselves”, well, you are there to give them a good Catholic example.

Good luck, you’ve a hard row to hoe ahead of you. I’m also married to an anti-Catholic man, but he knew I was Catholic before we married and he tolerated it --barely --at first. He’s never been baptized, and was brought up Jehovah’s Witness. After nearly 20 yrs of my trying to give good example, I think he’s finally realizing the Catholic Church isn’t the whore of Babylon after all…

(Edited out…unnecessary presupposition on my part, sorry.)
I understand answering God’s call, but when children are involved and you knew his feelings beforehand, something like this needs to be very carefully handled, with a lot of prayer and forethought. He will doubtless get a lot of support and sympathy, while you’ll be seen as the “troublemaker”. Only you know your situation, good luck and God bless. I’m praying for your family.

 

[St_Francis]

The weeks just before Christmas (and Easter) are always very busy for an often already–overburdened parish staff! I would suggest you contact them after January 6th.

I would also discuss the baptism situation with your priest before making a decision. For one thing, the Church does not like to baptize unless there is an asurance the children will be brought u Catholic, and this is to protect the children, not for any other reason. So it may be that holding off baptizing them would be the best thing, even baptizing them through a Protestant ceremony.

I was in shoes approximately like your when I “returned” to the church my mother had left when I was still a child. You might enjoy reading Home Sweet Rome by Scott and Kimberly Hahn. They were married and he was with the Presbyterians (?) and converted. She did not and was unhappy that he did. It’s an easy read describng his cnversion, her eventual conversion, and a lot of what they learned about the Faith.

Persevere, and don’t let anything keep you from answering God’s call home!