Unsure what to do

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elohimrules

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I guess I am unsure what God wants me to do. I was a cradle catholic. I left he church in high school and went into Protestant religion after a religious born-again experience. My question is this. I am now in my 40’s but considering returning to the Catholic church. What stance would the church take on my relationship situation? I was married early and then divorced after 1 1/2 years to a christian who cheated on me. 10 years later i married again a man outside the christian faith but he was controlling and pushed me into a lot as far as marriage/ etc. He was also emotionally abusive. We were divorced 3 years later. So now I’m not sure God’s will. I mean just be celebate the rest of my life? Or return to my recent ex who was controlling. Of course he still wants me back and loves me, but I sometimes think its not the healthiest of relationships as it does act cyclical in nature as far as emotinally. There is no physical abuse, but the fighting can get to the point of emotional. Plus, he is not a Christian. So, like I said. If I return to the Catholic church I’m not sure what guidance I could get in this confusion. I know the Protestants have many different opinions but I like how the Catholic church seems to take a common stance so that its followers have a bit easier time understanding what is the way to go. I mean I know i’m supposed to follow the Bible but in this case its confusing and I don’t know which way to interpret it. Thanks for listening 😉 God bless.
 
elohimrules said:
My question is this. I am now in my 40’s but considering returning to the Catholic church. What stance would the church take on my relationship situation?
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Just trying to make sure I understand correctly. You are a Catholic who stopped practicing, and you were married twice, but neither time in the Church. Right?

Assuming I have that correct, according to my understanding of Church teaching, you would have a pretty easy road back to full communion. Confession, a bit of paperwork to resolve the issue of your invalid marriages, and you’d be good to go. Just make an appointment with a priest and get the ball rolling.
 
I was married by Protestant minister in first marriage, and second in a civil marriage. Yeah, I need to talk to a minister. I was Catholic until high school then became protestant. But ive always been a Christian ;). Thnx, i will look into speaking to a priest or going to RICA classes to learn more.
 
If you received the sacrament of confirmation, then left and married outside the church, it is a pretty likely case that neither of your putative marriages would be considered sacramental. If neither of your previous utative marriages really were occasions where you both completely consented to being ‘joined by God’ then you may be free to marry once you’ve completed the process. It sounds scarier than it is, really. I’m an amatuer, not a canon lawyer, but you’ve got nothing to fear and LOTS to gain by making an appointment with a priest to discuss coming home.

And welcome back! Honestly, you’ll likely miss the enthusiastic singing and welcoming fellowship you once had in ‘born again’ type protestants. But when you become reacquainted with Jesus in the Eucharist you’ll still be glad to be back. Just be patient with all us fellow parishioners. We’re broken too, you know…
 
You really need to speak with a priest regarding your return to the Church. He will be in the best position to advise and guide you back. Welcome Home!! We missed you.😉
 
elohimrules said:
I guess I am unsure what God wants me to do. I was a cradle catholic. I left he church in high school and went into Protestant religion after a religious born-again experience. My question is this. I am now in my 40’s but considering returning to the Catholic church. What stance would the church take on my relationship situation? I was married early and then divorced after 1 1/2 years to a christian who cheated on me. 10 years later i married again a man outside the christian faith but he was controlling and pushed me into a lot as far as marriage/ etc. He was also emotionally abusive. We were divorced 3 years later. So now I’m not sure God’s will. I mean just be celebate the rest of my life? Or return to my recent ex who was controlling. Of course he still wants me back and loves me, but I sometimes think its not the healthiest of relationships as it does act cyclical in nature as far as emotinally. There is no physical abuse, but the fighting can get to the point of emotional. Plus, he is not a Christian. So, like I said. If I return to the Catholic church I’m not sure what guidance I could get in this confusion. I know the Protestants have many different opinions but I like how the Catholic church seems to take a common stance so that its followers have a bit easier time understanding what is the way to go. I mean I know i’m supposed to follow the Bible but in this case its confusing and I don’t know which way to interpret it. Thanks for listening 😉 God bless.
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I suggest you pick a Catholic parish near you and ask a priest, or make a phone call. If he is not available, arrange for a time to talk to him. Your situation is not impossible.

Also, you might want to look here:

catholicscomehome.org/answers-divorce.php

I urge you to talk to a priest and ask for his guidance. The Church will welcome you back.

God bless,
Ed
 
Come back home!!! You may not have to worry about your marriages as they may not have been recognized by the church(lack of form). Catholics are required to be married in the catholic church or have permission to marry outside of the church. If you did not do this enty back in could be as easy as some paperwork.
Also, for now as long as you are single and chaste, there should be nothing preventing you from going to confession and resuming your place in the church.

Obviously you should talk with a priest at your local parish first and he can tell you for certain where you stand with the church and how to get back on track. Don’t let fear of the unknown hold you back. Make an appointment and get some advise.🙂

I came back after a 12 year absence and I had a prior marriage. It was easy to come back, and only took a week or two for the paperwork to be done. Best decision I ever made. Best wishes to you.
 
In regards going back to your most recent marriage - rest assured that the Church never requires unhappy spouses to live together or anything, particularly when such is dangerous for your physical, mental or emotional wellbeing.
 
Thank you everyone. I really appreciate the warm welcome and advice. Yes, I will go back and talk to a priest. I am really interested in learning more about the Catholic church. I have a lot of questions.

I believe both Catholic and Protestants are Christians and that some are “true” believers and some are not, like in all faiths. But I got rather confused about Protestant beliefs. I was recently searching for a church to attend. There are SO many and SO many different beliefs amoung protestant that I get confused. I see shows about miracles, faith healings, and speaking in tounges. I mean it all sounds wonderful but is it biblical? I recently saw a movie about the Apostle Peter. They talked about the early church being called “The Way” I find that so interesting as I once had a dream about the faith and it was called by this name. I would like to learn more about what the early church fathers said about Christianity. Also, I guess a big difference im seeing is that Protestants say you are saved if you make a confession of faith always and Catholics you are saved but have to continue on the path or The Way 😉 I guess if I become Catholic, how will I know that I go to heaven? See, I have a lot of questions. Anyways, this forum is so helpful! 🙂 God bless and thank you all.
 
As always, speak to a priest in these types of situations.

Your road back appears to be an easy one from the information given. Speaking to a priest and Confession is all you might need.

The marital situation appears to be a non-issue at this point, since it appears you were married outside of the Catholic Church both times without the appropriate dispensation, and that you are divorced and not living with anyone. It will obviously be an issue if you wish to marry again. If you intend to remarry in the future, it would be wise to start the paperwork sooner than later.
 
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