Unsurity of good

[Jumaj]

Hello,
I have yet another questions, lately, I feeli like I have stopped being able to recognize what is good. When I do something, even if I feel great about it shortly after, after some time, I am always unsure, if I have done good.
When I feel forgiven and full of grace (forgiven of venial sin, not of mortal), I go and do something I want to do and shortly after that, I feel guilty again.

And, I also feel very superstisious, when I am unsure of what is good, I seek a something random, and I “bet”, that if it ends up one way, one thing is good, and if it ends up the other way, the other thing is good. Does God turn the outcome of those random things, so I would get something right? Should I believe this?

What are the signs of God’s presence in me? I feel goosebumps, when I feel full of Him?
How do I recognize Godly goosebumps and natural goosebumps?

 

[1ke]

please seek spritual guidance from your priest.

 

[Iron_Donkey]

Hi,

I agree that this is something you should probably speak with a priest about (especially if all it takes is doing something you want to feel guilty), but I do have two comments for you relating to your focus on signs.

And, I also feel very superstisious, when I am unsure of what is good, I seek a something random, and I “bet”, that if it ends up one way, one thing is good, and if it ends up the other way, the other thing is good. Does God turn the outcome of those random things, so I would get something right? Should I believe this?

This is almost certainly a bad idea. It’s fine to ask God for signs (and even then I’d be careful, given that you say you’re superstitious), but this goes beyond that to demanding that He make a specific thing a sign right now. He may or may not, but we cannot expect Him to play betting games like that.

What are the signs of God’s presence in me? I feel goosebumps, when I feel full of Him?
How do I recognize Godly goosebumps and natural goosebumps?

God’s presence is always in you. (And especially in a special way after receiving the Eucharist.) But you should not equate God’s presence to any emotional state or goosebump style reaction.

Again, it’s absolutely a good thing to contemplate God through prayer and to enjoy the peace and similar that you feel while doing this, but goosebumps or feelings of contentment or whatever are primarily related to how you are reacting to what is going on. While God can bring feelings about directly, almost anything else can affect such reactions as well, and so it would be a mistake to assume that whenever you get a certain type of feeling that God caused it and approves of what you are doing (or that whenever you can’t get conjure up such a feeling that God is ignoring you).

In short - Don’t focus on seeking the signs God occasionally makes. They are good and can help you, but are secondary (in the same way that Jesus worked many miracles, but explicitly said that was not why He was here). Seek God, and the signs will take care of themselves.