Unusual question

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Sagefrakrobatik

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So My finals are coming up next week and today i got a message by one of my “friends” on facebook who told my that there is this guy in my class who wants to ask me some questions. I have a good idea who it is and i have a better idea of what he wants. I think he wants to ask me about the exam and if i could give him my notes. This tends to happen every semester or so. If it is who i think it is then i dont think i should give him my notes because he has not shown up for class all semester. In fact half the class never shows up. I just think it would be unfair for me to give him my notes when he wasnt in class. What should i do if he ask? I dont want to be mean but at the same time I work, go to school, and I am a part of 2 student organizations and I am starting my own. I barely know this guy but it feels like I might be being taken advantage of. I could be wrong. but if it is true what should i say or do?
 
First, you could just ignore the request, since you are obviously too busy to be spending time on Facebook.

If they persist, I would say, “I’m sorry, my notes are in a format that I would not feel comfortable handing to anyone else. I’m afraid I would be the only one able to understand them.”

Remember, they are the ones who are trying to use you and take shortcuits. Don’t feel guilty about not complying with their requests.

Good luck on your exams!

John Marie Philomena
 
Tell him, “Sure. That will be $25.00 per page to pay for my time for sitting in class for you.”
 
$25. per page? Is that all?

Just say no. No class time, no notes. If it were someone who had been there and was simply struggling, that would be one thing. You have no moral nor charitable obligation to do his work for him. It isn’t a kindness. Let him get another sucker, cram and learn the material or flunk, which is what he deserves.
 
I’m a law student. Last spring semester, my husband and I finalized our divorce. I missed quite a few classes because I was an emotional wreck for a few weeks, but didn’t tell any of my fellow students what I was going through. I asked a classmate if he’d be willing to share notes from the classes I had missed. Fortunately, he showed me mercy without an Inquisition and shared his notes with me.

If this guy is being greedy and lazy, I understand why you’d want to turn him down, but I think it would be generous of you to allow him the opportunity to ask.
 
JohnMPhilomena said:
First, you could just ignore the request, since you are obviously too busy to be spending time on Facebook.

If they persist, I would say, “I’m sorry, my notes are in a format that I would not feel comfortable handing to anyone else. I’m afraid I would be the only one able to understand them.”
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White lies are not okay.
 
I fail to see how charity would say “sorry, you messed up and I will not help you study”. Charity tries to help those who ask for help.
 
kage_ar said:
I fail to see how charity would say “sorry, you messed up and I will not help you study”. Charity tries to help those who ask for help.
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If they ask and if they ask for help. If they just show up for a free copy of what cost you many hours they weren’t willing to invest because they preferred to spend the time on entertainment and they’re thinking they’re being smart, then just giving it to them could possibly be a confirmation of the goodness of their attitude, which could do them harm. The difference here is between a person really asking for help and a person being a smartass. It would be fair to base permission to copy the news on a promise that the person would attend in the future or a declaration that he had good reasons for not attending.
 
kage_ar said:
I fail to see how charity would say “sorry, you messed up and I will not help you study”. Charity tries to help those who ask for help.
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It is called “tough love” and is the remedy for many situations.
 
Say NO. Forget it, buddy! No way should you do his work for him.
 
Where’s the sense of charity? You are by no means obligated to help him, but if a charity for the homeless asks for your hard earned money, should you break out the tough love?

A friend of mine has an immune disorder and frequently has to borrow notes from people in class, but isn’t exactly excited about broadcasting his problem. This guy could be a lazy ***, just like a charity could hand your money off to a drug addict. If you feel you’ll be worse off as a result of loaning your notes, that’s one thing. Spite is not a part of Christian teaching.
 
kage_ar said:
I fail to see how charity would say “sorry, you messed up and I will not help you study”. Charity tries to help those who ask for help.
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What about a person who blows the class off all semester and then is looking for the easy way out? I don’t think a prudent man would give charity to those who are greedy and selfish. That would only feed the greed and selfishness. Thus it’s up to the OP to detirmine what motive this person has for requesting thier notes.
 
I am a law student, and had this very thing happen to me yesterday with a friend. It was for a class a lot of people missed because it met at 7:40AM. I sent him my notes because I know he would do the same thing for me. The thing is, I would never ask someone that! One, because I attend all my classes, and two, because I feel like that is taking advantage of someone. If they are talking one or two, I think it is no problem. If it is half the semester - it is frustrating! Unless of course, if the person was sick, or going through something - in which case I would be offering and wanting to send my notes after each class! Anyway, there is no right answer. I probably would just give, but be frustrated by it! (Esp if this person who is asking on behalf of the person is a good friend.)
 
How about no, you need them to study. You do need to study, right?
 
I had a long reply written, but thought I’d ask for clarity on a point - are you wanting to know if it’s ethical/right to give him your notes?
 
Chevalier is right about the white lies. Tell the truth, or better yet, say nothing. You don’t owe him an explanation! I think when we feel bad about not “helping” someone, we often feel the need to justify our decision to that someone. Problem is, all those justifications sounds a lot more like “maybe” than “No.” If this guy is a serious slacker, he’s asking around and expecting to be turned down by most, if not many. You don’t need to protect his feelings 🙂
 
Thanks. Well, if he isn’t a slacker but has a good reason, then saying nothing wouldn’t give us the opportunity to learn that he had a reason for not attending (not necessarily what reason, - “no, I’m not slacking, it’s something I don’t want to talk about,” or, “didn’t do it on purpose,” is good enough), so I guess we’d like to talk first.
 
Keeping in mind that I am snowed-in today and perhaps will “talk” too much, I think if he has a legit reason, he should be able to get notes from a friend in the class. I’m very much an introvert, but I always had at least a passing acquaintance with someone in each of my classes. Once somebody asked the prof who would be a good person to get notes from, and he suggested me. I figure if the prof vouched for him, that was good enough for me, though I’m a very spare note-taker and probably didn’t provide much help. Maybe the OP could suggest that back to the friend who asked indirectly.
 
Now that you mention, some people will try to get notes from a better student or from someone who has better note-taking abilities, in order to improve their chances on the exam. And that’s perfectly legit (and commendable even). Again, that’s easy when someone who asks did attend.
 
I guess this is why it is called the “me” generation.

How on earth is it any skin off your back if you photocopy the notes and give them to the guy? I am really shocked at the responses here.

Let me see, if your neighbor comes over some morning and asks if they can borrow two eggs and a cup of flour to make breakfast, bet you lecture them on how they should have been responsible enough to go to the store and slam the door on them…
 
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