Unwelcome attention in church

[RosalieM]

I’m not sure how to say this. I’ll try to express it as best I can. There is a man who bothers me in church when I go to Confession and when I attend Mass. He tidies up the Church during the priest’s Confession time. He slams confessional doors, straightens pamphlets and parades around with an all-important air. He makes sure he is noticed. At Mass, he stares at me even though I sit nowhere near him. He will walk up to where he can see me and then return to his seat. One time he actually came between me and the candles at the foot of the Virgin Mary’s statue where I was praying. He watches me when I return from Communion and it is annoying (at the most sacred moment) if I forget to put my head down so as not to notice. I have to be on my guard it seems.
I find it creepy and have gone so far as to think of him as a demon. I don’t know what to do. I like the Mass I’ve been attending regularly. I don’t want to switch to another Mass because of him. It took me long enough to discover my favorite Mass time, which is the earliest on Sunday morning. I don’t want to confront him because it would probably encourage him. I have considered reporting him but am not sure that’s the thing to do.
Suggestions would be welcome.

 

[Confiteor_Deo]

Try ignoring him completely by not acknowledging his presence at all. If he gets in front of you and you can’t ignore him, tell him to get out of your way. If this doesn’t work, you should go up to him and demand that he stop staring at you and following you around in the church. He should hopefully stop bothering you after that. I hope you will be able to find peace again in the church.

 

[Convert1]

I think any situation that makes you this uncomfortable needs to addressed. Whether you confront the individual (which it doesn’t sound like you would do that) or you have a conversation with your priest; you need to talk about this. It is obvious you are anxious and this has started to invade your focus on Mass, Confession, and other activities.
Pray for guidance, but do approach someone in your parish that can help you. God Bless you!

 

[angell1]

I’m not sure how to say this. I’ll try to express it as best I can. There is a man who bothers me in church when I go to Confession and when I attend Mass. He tidies up the Church during the priest’s Confession time. He slams confessional doors, straightens pamphlets and parades around with an all-important air. He makes sure he is noticed. At Mass, he stares at me even though I sit nowhere near him. He will walk up to where he can see me and then return to his seat. One time he actually came between me and the candles at the foot of the Virgin Mary’s statue where I was praying. He watches me when I return from Communion and it is annoying (at the most sacred moment) if I forget to put my head down so as not to notice. I have to be on my guard it seems.
I find it creepy and have gone so far as to think of him as a demon. I don’t know what to do. I like the Mass I’ve been attending regularly. I don’t want to switch to another Mass because of him. It took me long enough to discover my favorite Mass time, which is the earliest on Sunday morning. I don’t want to confront him because it would probably encourage him. I have considered reporting him but am not sure that’s the thing to do.
Suggestions would be welcome.

do you know anything else about this individual?
maybe he has a disability of some sort?
or just a lack of social skills
perhaps the situation is also not quite what you think it is?
have you ever talked to him?

since you say the priest hired him to work around the church, perhaps you can bring it up to him discreetly. maybe there is some information you are not aware of, that way you will know if it is a cause for concern or not

 

[RosalieM]

I think any situation that makes you this uncomfortable needs to addressed. Whether you confront the individual (which it doesn’t sound like you would do that) or you have a conversation with your priest; you need to talk about this. It is obvious you are anxious and this has started to invade your focus on Mass, Confession, and other activities.
Pray for guidance, but do approach someone in your parish that can help you. God Bless you!

I think I’m going to mention the situation to my priest who has given me good advice ongoing. It’s true what you say…it’s invasive. Thank you!

 

[RosalieM]

do you know anything else about this individual?
maybe he has a disability of some sort?
or just a lack of social skills
perhaps the situation is also not quite what you think it is?
have you ever talked to him?

since you say the priest hired him to work around the church, perhaps you can bring it up to him discreetly. maybe there is some information you are not aware of, that way you will know if it is a cause for concern or not

I don’t know that the priest hired him or if he’s volunteering, but there are others who do the small tasks that he does.

 

[RosalieM]

Try ignoring him completely by not acknowledging his presence at all. If he gets in front of you and you can’t ignore him, tell him to get out of your way. If this doesn’t work, you should go up to him and demand that he stop staring at you and following you around in the church. He should hopefully stop bothering you after that. I hope you will be able to find peace again in the church.

I’ve tried ignoring him and he makes himself more present. One time he actually saluted me. The responses I’m receiving here are helping.

 

[Confiteor_Deo]

I’ve tried ignoring him and he makes himself more present. One time he actually saluted me. The responses I’m receiving here are helping.

He seems a bit off. I would just advise to speak to the priest about it as others have advised or to confront him. I’m glad we’re able to help.

 

[AKDee]

I’ve tried ignoring him and he makes himself more present. One time he actually saluted me. The responses I’m receiving here are helping.

Mention it to the priest but he sounds like he might be mentally handicapped in some fashion. Either way the priest should address the issue.

 

[RosalieM]

Thank you all for your insight and advice. I will be speaking with my priest about this tomorrow. God bless you all.