Unwelcome Mass?

[pnewton]

How do you incorporate I Corinthians 12 (especially vs. 7) into this approach to the Church of Jesus Christ? For that matter, how do you incorporate all the New Testament descriptions of “body life” into your approach? How are you involved with the Church outside of Mass? Which spiritual gift(s) has the Holy Spirit given you, and how do you use your gift(s) to build up the Body of Christ?

I think I can incorporate it. If you look at the list of spiritual gifts, not all (few actually) occur in the context of the Mass. For people who are introverted, it is still their duty to use what gifts they have within the Church. There are numerous opportunities that do not involve being a “people person”. Such services rendered will at least initiate some contact with others in a safer setting and allow the natural introvert to develop familial ties, albeit to a small number of people.

Introverted people are also part of the body of Christ and have their gifts. However, if they wish to be respected as such, it is best not to refer to those different with disdain, as in “happy-clappy”. That is exactly the type of thing Paul says we are not to do with each other.

 

[Linusthe2nd]

How can you stand this? 30 years and few people speak to you?

This isn’t what Christ intended for His Body. The members are supposed to work together. How can they work together if they don’t talk to each other?!

Or do these types of parishes communicate purely by internet?

This sounds just awful. God created us for fellowship not just with Him, but with each other. It doesn’t have to be “happy clappy”, but it should be friendly.

It is a suburban Parish. I’ve been single all my life and people, whether they admit it or not, are naturally suspicious of a old, life long bachelor and think something must be odd about him. And of course I have had no children in the parish grade and high schools which acts as a glue to bind relationships. Bachelors are accepted better in cold climate farming communities where women are more reluctant to live forever.

Well, I’ve learned to deal with it.

Linus2nd

 

[ProVobis]

This isn’t what Christ intended for His Body. The members are supposed to work together. How can they work together if they don’t talk to each other?!

Or do these types of parishes communicate purely by internet?

This sounds just awful. God created us for fellowship not just with Him, but with each other.

That might be a little too late. We have parishes now, especially where there is a mix of hispanics and Anglophones, where people don’t even see each other and never intend to see each other. After all one group has its English Mass and the other group has its Spanish Mass. It seems that if this fellowship exists, it should extend between these groups. I don’t see more than one or two who attend both Masses.

 

[pianistclare]

OK, despite the notion of people misinterpreting people, possible schisms, and piety in Mass, another recurring theme here is genuine rudeness.

Like the person who ripped the missalette out of the man’s hands to find the Our Father.
Like the people who move to another pew to get away from people.
Like the person who forces you to hold hands when you don’t want to by prying your hands apart. (has happened to me many times).
It’s a problem with persons who for whatever reason or either in the EF or OF feel like they have a “lock” on holiness and make that step to “correct” someone.

That’s really the heart of the problem. If someone perceives that they are being judged, it can mean a real wound or at least a hardness of heart while at Mass. THAT is the real tragedy. The place where should be at the most peace, and experience the most profound love, can become a soap box for those who “wish it was another way”.

An anecdote, once at Mass the woman walked all the way from the other end of a long pew JUST to hold my hand during the Our Father (I saw her out of the corner of my eye.) I myself loathe this practice. I’d much rather pray with my head bowed or my eyes closed all by myself. I figure, praying aloud in unison is as together as I care to be…and it’s not in the rubrics. So afterward, I look to her at the sign of peace, and she’s this lovely black woman, and I’m thinking: OMG! I wonder if she thinks I’m a racist because I didn’t hold her hand!!! Man, did I feel stupid and foolish. So, I made an over the top big deal about hugging her, and then told her my pathetic story after Mass.
She cracked up, and said she understood. But it made me stop and think about how I’m perceived.
The moral of the story is: no matter how correct we think we are…how pious we might desire to be, there’s a chance that others may be hurt by our actions. I still don’t LIKE to hold hands…but if someone makes a 20 foot trek over to me…I quietly acquiesce in the name of community.

When people hurt our feelers, just forgive them. Let it go.
Who knows whom we may have offended ourselves?

 

[HelenRose]

Agreed. I have had the same experience as the OP.
Doesn’t make a case for Traditionalism, or whatever they want to call it.
This whole “you’re not worthy, you’re not holy enough”. well duh. none of us are. But with Christ, everyone is welcome at the table.
I agree too, that sometimes we make too much fuss over hugging and greeting. But warmth always trumps cold. And we definitely make too much fuss over things that are not matters of faith but preference.

When it happened to me, I stayed because I was NOT going to have anyone make me feel unwelcome at the Lord’s sacrifice. but that’s just me. They stared and huffed and puffed. All that piety wasted on shunning me.
I went to communion and received Jesus. Which is why I was there in the first place.

You are right. We are there to receive Christ. If some of the people around you or me have completely missed the point, that really is their burden to carry. And it is a heavy burden to carry because they feel the entire Church depends on their piety.

The problem may simply be that there is a circle of rather rude people who have the idea that they somehow have propriety rights over the Mass. Don’t judge the whole congregation.

 

[robwar]

Agreed. I have had the same experience as the OP.
Doesn’t make a case for Traditionalism, or whatever they want to call it.
This whole “you’re not worthy, you’re not holy enough”. well duh. none of us are. But with Christ, everyone is welcome at the table.
I agree too, that sometimes we make too much fuss over hugging and greeting. But warmth always trumps cold. And we definitely make too much fuss over things that are not matters of faith but preference.

When it happened to me, I stayed because I was NOT going to have anyone make me feel unwelcome at the Lord’s sacrifice. but that’s just me. They stared and huffed and puffed. All that piety wasted on shunning me.
I went to communion and received Jesus. Which is why I was there in the first place.

preach it sister!

 

[HelenRose]

That might be a little too late. We have parishes now, especially where there is a mix of hispanics and Anglophones, where people don’t even see each other and never intend to see each other. After all one group has its English Mass and the other group has its Spanish Mass. It seems that if this fellowship exists, it should extend between these groups. I don’t see more than one or two who attend both Masses.

I see that problem in our parish as well. It is a shame and I don’t have any idea how it can be corrected.

I personally love going to the Spanish Mass mainly because there are so many beautiful children there. I see a hope for the future of the Catholic Church.

 

[robwar]

I see that problem in our parish as well. It is a shame and I don’t have any idea how it can be corrected.

I personally love going to the Spanish Mass mainly because there are so many beautiful children there. I see a hope for the future of the Catholic Church.

Yes, this a a problem in a number of large city parishes where there is an aging but loyal base but in an neighborhood that has a large Hispanic population that really is the life blood and future of the parish because they are the one’s having children and bringing them. Sadly, the two are not mixing and the parish becomes a split personality with two sides not intermingling with each other. The language barrier doesn’t help either.

 

[ProVobis]

I see that problem in our parish as well. It is a shame and I don’t have any idea how it can be corrected.

I personally love going to the Spanish Mass mainly because there are so many beautiful children there. I see a hope for the future of the Catholic Church.

You’re right. That’s where most of those younger than 30 go, it seems. At another bilingual parish, on Saturday mornings, there are many more Hispanics at confession too. And strangely enough, only half in attendance receive communion at the Spanish Mass. There doesn’t seem to be too much commonness between the two (English and Spanish) camps.

 

[Lormar]

Many masses are not welcoming places. I have been going to the same parish for over twenty five years. Not once has anyone come up to speak to me or welcome me. I have always considered myself to be a fairly well dressed professional and am always well groomed by a picky wife. It would be different if I reeked of alcohol or looked “off”.However I could not give a damn as I come to worship Christ not to go to a Pentecostal group hug. We have to understand the group dynamics of sometimes closed groups and be more tolerant within a culture of reserve and personal space.
I have always seen going to mass as similar to getting the same bus to work. You often sit in the same seats; you recognize the same faces; you often give a smile on eye contact, but you have never met them nor know their names.You can often go to the after mass coffee meetings and no one can approach you.
Does it matter. Yes in so far as the evangelical happy clappers are much more friendly and get the people looking for community. But in terms of your personal spiritual life, not a bit.

Sounds like my own story.

My parish isn’t a traditional parish, and it has to be one of the least friendly and most cliquish parishes in the diocese.

 

[Lormar]

Shouldn’t let that bother you. Those folks faced a lot of hostility in trying to hang on to a tradition, I experienced it myself. So they are naturally a little suspicious at the appearance of someone they don’t know and trust. Of course, your wife and daughter may have been imagining things. Hey, I’ve been in my parish over 30 years and few people speak to me, even at " donuts and coffe " aftet Mass.

The coldness of Catholics is an environmental effect of the exodus of people from the cities into suburbia after the war. The old communities are gone forever, those comfortable places where everyone knew everyone else.

Linus2nd