Unwelcome

[iloveangels]

It sounds like a tough situation all the way around. Something that requires a lot of prayer and - well - some more prayer. My guess is the priest is in something of a tough spot as well. He doesn’t like the situation any more than you do but is basically powerless to do anything about it.

I’m sorry that attending mass there makes you feel more agitated when leaving than when you go in.

Noting your mention of 25 years in the military…I can see your frustration but also perhaps an opportunity.
Perhaps this could be considered from a “military” perspective.
You serve a King. That King is in the Church. Said Church is being occupied by hostile powers. One that does not serve the King and attempts to deny access to the King to those who DO wish to serve Him.
These hostile powers use some very powerful weapons and tactics the cutting remark, the put down, the snub - all designed to encircle and isolate those they see as a threat.

You wish to destroy this hostile power or at least diminish it’s ability to block access to your King. One way to do that is to leave them isolated in their lonely outpost and gain access to the King in another location. Of course that other location is less accessible, and your King has summoned you to His physical presence as often as you are physically able. This summons means that, at least on occasion, you must run the gauntlet of these “enemies at the gates”…

The trick here - in in rough military terms - is to recognize and evaluate the enemy and his weapons, then devise defenses and strategies against them.
In spiritual terms of course it is not the people who are the enemy so much as the sins that have such a hold on them. Primary among these sins is pride - coupled with greed. They wish to “possess” the church and hold the King captive to themselves alone. They wish to “lord it over” others, selecting which ones will be considered worthy and welcome…Like the Pharisees of whom Jesus said:
But woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! because you shut the kingdom of heaven against men; for you neither enter yourselves, nor allow those who would enter to go in. (Mt 23:13)
However - Pride and Greed and the other evils do not recognize how weak they truly are when confronted by Love, forbearance, a smile, a kind word, a smile…and the patient turning of the cheek. Such defenses, properly employed, are both armor and sword. They prevent the enemy from hurting you. Their barbs are simply absorbed by Godly Love and cannot touch your soul or inner peace.
Meanwhile their inability to defeat or even unsettle you becomes a frustration that becomes a toxin to them - to these sins. Oh they will fight all the harder for a time…but ultimately they cannot hold out against Agape Love.

So - should you go back to this church and someone say, “Why have you come back?”, you respond simply, “My King summoned me here”.
“But you are not welcome here” comes the retort…
“My King welcomes me and I obey my King.” is your calm reply.
“Outsiders have new ideas and we don’t like change”.
“Be at peace, I have no idea but to serve and obey my King.”
Then smile and take your leave with a simple “God Bless you” and “See you next week”.

Of course the above is just a very rough idea based on what you have shared. But perhaps there is something worthwhile in it - something to consider and prayerfully consider.
I hope it is of some help anyway…

God Bless

Peace
James

You don’t need all that. It’s a public building. You can worship there if you want. Just walk in, sit down, and pray your way through mass. At the end, walk out and get in your car and go home. Easy peasy. It’s a public building. They’ll get used to it or they won’t. Whatever, that’s their problem, not yours.

 

[Phemie]

You don’t need all that. It’s a public building. You can worship there if you want. Just walk in, sit down, and pray your way through mass. At the end, walk out and get in your car and go home. Easy peasy. It’s a public building. They’ll get used to it or they won’t. Whatever, that’s their problem, not yours.

I came to the parish where I am now as a military dependant so I probably know what he’s going through. This parish had not had to deal with military dependants in a long time since we all lived on Base and for the past 13 years had had our own Chaplain and before that had had the local priest celebrating Mass for us in our own chapel. That had all changed a few weeks before we came here when the Catholic Chaplain was pulled out and the local priest refused to celebrate Mass anywhere but in the local church.

Being used to military postings and Chapels, I immediately volunteered to be a reader and to help out in the office since they were asking for help. While that was always applauded in a military Chapel Parish, it was much more of a “Who the h**l does she think she is?” attitude here. I hadn’t paid my dues, so to speak, and I hadn’t waited to see what the hierarchy looked like in that parish. It offended some that I’d volunteered at all. It took a while but I got over the feeling of rejection from the other parishioners and by the next year I was hired as parish secretary. By that time I’d proven myself enough to be working there but I was still considered too much of an outsider to be on the Parish Council.

 

[superamazingman]

Love is not some fuzzy emotion you feel in your butt or someplace.

 

[iloveangels]

I came to the parish where I am now as a military dependant so I probably know what he’s going through. This parish had not had to deal with military dependants in a long time since we all lived on Base and for the past 13 years had had our own Chaplain and before that had had the local priest celebrating Mass for us in our own chapel. That had all changed a few weeks before we came here when the Catholic Chaplain was pulled out and the local priest refused to celebrate Mass anywhere but in the local church.

Being used to military postings and Chapels, I immediately volunteered to be a reader and to help out in the office since they were asking for help. While that was always applauded in a military Chapel Parish, it was much more of a “Who the h**l does she think she is?” attitude here. I hadn’t paid my dues, so to speak, and I hadn’t waited to see what the hierarchy looked like in that parish. It offended some that I’d volunteered at all. It took a while but I got over the feeling of rejection from the other parishioners and by the next year I was hired as parish secretary. By that time I’d proven myself enough to be working there but I was still considered too much of an outsider to be on the Parish Council.

Yup. Every parish is different. In some of them, you’re an old hand in a month, whereas in others you’re a stranger for 20 years until they get used to you being there.

 

[rfournier103]

It stinks that there is an air of hostility, but we answer to a higher power than our fellow parishoners, and the laity don’t own the parish… The priest knows that, even if he refuses to act on what’s going on. I hope things take a turn for the better, and you’ll feel more welcome in the future.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

**Catholics treat each other like ****. ** IMHO, if they’re going to make all this noise about love, love, love and then act like that they’re lying, pure and simple.

Love is not some fuzzy emotion you feel in your butt or someplace. Love is making the Christian choice when you meet a difficulty. And this includes acting with some Christian maturity and graciousness when someone new shows up at the parish, even if you don’t particularly like them.

Pretty uncharitable comment, and untrue as well.